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    Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook
    Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook
    Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook
    Ebook156 pages1 hour

    Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook

    By Jim Burns and Doug Fields

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    About this ebook

    Pulling off a successful wedding is one thing but fortifying a lifelong relationship is an entirely different endeavor. Relationship experts Jim Burns and Doug Fields invite couples to take a proactive approach to their marriage union—one that doesn’t shy away from sticky areas and tough topics—in order to develop a solid course from the very beginning. Jim and Doug apply decades of frontline experience working with couples into this fresh and practical resource. Organized in nine highly relevant sessions, each centered on key biblical and relational touchstones, Burns and Fields equip participants to confront big issues including communication, finances, spirituality, and intimacy—prior to their wedding day.

    Great as a stand-alone resource or partnered with the Getting Ready for Marriage: A Practical Road Map for Your Journey Together book and companion video package.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDavid C Cook
    Release dateFeb 1, 2015
    ISBN9780781412841
    Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook
    Author

    Jim Burns

    Jim Burns, PhD, is president of HomeWord and executive director of the HomeWord Center for Youth and Family at Azusa Pacific University. Host of the nationwide HomeWord radio broadcasts, he also speaks around the world at seminars and conferences. His many books include Confident Parenting, Pass It On, Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality, and 10 Building Blocks for a Solid Family. He and his wife, Cathy, live Southern California and have three grown daughters.

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      Book preview

      Getting Ready for Marriage Workbook - Jim Burns

      CONTENTS

      CONGRATULATIONS!

      HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

      QUESTIONS TO ASK

      CHAPTER 1 – Are You Ready for Marriage?

      My Story / Five Crucial Questions / My Baggage

      CHAPTER 2 – Writing Your Marriage Script Through

      Goals, Hopes, and Expectations

      My Expectations / Making S.M.A.R.T. Goals / Where I See Hope in Our Relationship

      CHAPTER 3 – In-Laws: You Marry the Family

      Your Family Map / Holidays and Traditions / Honest Conversations about Your In-Laws

      CHAPTER 4 – Communication: The Fastest Route to Connection

      Your Personality Inventory / Replenishing Your Relationship with A.W.E. / Blocks to Healthy Communication

      CHAPTER 5 – Conflict: The Rules of Engagement

      The Conflict Dance / The Power of an Apology / Conflict Triggers

      CHAPTER 6 – Finances: The Best Things in Life Are Not Things

      Your Budget / Creating a Debt-Reduction Plan / The Big Ten: Just Say Yes!

      CHAPTER 7 – Sexuality: The Naked Truth

      The Sex Questionnaire / The Purity Code Challenge / The Five Sex Needs of Men and Women

      CHAPTER 8 – Spiritual Intimacy: The Power of Compatibility

      Your Spiritual Journey / Committing to the Closer Challenge / Finding a Marriage Mentor Couple

      CHAPTER 9 – Remarriage: A Fresh Start

      What I Have Learned from My Past / Successfully Blending a Family / Remarriage Readiness Survey

      A MESSAGE to Pastors, Counselors, and Marriage Mentors

      NOTES

      ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

      CONGRATULATIONS!

      We are excited for you and your upcoming journey. You are entering into something that many fear, some mock, others delight in, and nearly everyone attempts: marriage. It’s a big deal … a really big deal.

      You are wise to recognize the importance of preparing for one of the most significant decisions of your life. We want to help you do more than make a committed attempt at success; after completing this workbook, we want you to be prepared to develop, and thrive in, an exceptionally beautiful marriage. We are big fans of marriage and believe it’s the most exciting and transforming relationship in the entire world.

      If you are seriously dating but not yet engaged or want to find out if you should move toward engagement, this workbook is also for you. Simply replace the word fiancé with the name of the person you’re dating, and bingo, this workbook is now for you too.

      But!

      We’ve also been married long enough (seventy years combined between our two marriages) to know that it isn’t easy. In our book Getting Ready for Marriage, we ask couples if they would willingly board a plane if they knew it had a 30 to 50 percent chance of crashing. Seems crazy, right? No one in their right mind would take that risk.

      But did you know those are the same percentages of failed marriages? Too many couples are willing to embark on the marriage journey without intentional preparation to avoid disaster. That’s why we’ve taken concepts from our book and put them into exercises for this workbook.

      We’re definitely not anticipating disaster for you, but we know you will experience some relational turbulence as a couple—every married couple does! That’s why spending time thinking through and talking about the issues in this workbook is so important to the future health of your marriage. Anyone can plan a wedding, but it’s the wise couple that prepares for a marriage. You are taking wise steps, and we’re excited to help you on your journey.

      For those reading a book like this or involved with premarital counseling, the chance of divorce decreases by 31 percent.¹ Please pause to think deeply about that statistic for a moment …

      HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

      There’s no one right way to use this workbook. You may approach the material in whatever way works best for you. It really is that flexible! We have designed the exercises on the following pages to help you think and communicate about important issues while honestly expressing your expectations to each other. Within this flexibility we have some suggestions to help you get the most out of your experience.

      Each of you should have your own workbook.

      Our companion book, Getting Ready for Marriage, is one you can share and read together, but this workbook is intended for you to complete as an individual. Having your own will allow you to work on the exercises whenever you have a few moments rather than waiting until you are with your fiancé.

      Fight the temptation to save a few dollars by sharing the workbook—it will add so much more value if you each have your own copy. (If money is an issue, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Probably someone in your life would gladly buy you a second workbook, knowing it will ultimately help your future marriage.)

      We guarantee you will get much more out of this experience if you complete these exercises on your own—reflecting deeply on yourself and your relationship—and then share your answers as a couple.

      Schedule a weekly time to talk about your answers.

      We advise couples to set aside about an hour each week to discuss the exercises they’ve completed. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ll want to be even more intentional to create time within your schedule to make this happen. Maybe you think that talking about your upcoming marriage won’t be as fun as planning your wedding. However, we believe that if you choose to, you can have a great time in these discussions. You will get to know your fiancé in new ways, understanding who he or she is and what is within his or her heart possibly better than you ever have. And we think that’s pretty exciting.

      Take your workbook to premarital or

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