Unrequited: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Romantic Obsession
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About this ebook
Blending memoir, literary exposition, and revealing case studies, Unrequited is a powerful, surprising, and empathetic cultural and psychological exploration of one-sided romantic obsession.
The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned thirty, she fell in love with someone who didn’t return her feelings. She soon became obsessed. She followed him around, called him compulsively, and talked about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and began to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized—someone who was taking her yearning much too far.
In Unrequited, Phillips explores the tremendous force of obsessive love in women’s lives. She argues that it needs to be understood, respected, and channeled for personal growth—yet it also has the potential to go terribly awry. Interweaving her own story with frank interviews and in-depth research in science, psychology, cultural history, and literature, Phillips describes how romantic obsession takes root, grows, and strongly influences our thoughts and behaviors.
Going beyond images of creepy, fatally attracted psychos, male fantasies of unbridled female desire, and the platitudes of self-help books, Phillips reveals a powerful, troubling, and surprisingly common phenomenon. As she illuminates this mysterious psychological experience, placing it in a rich and nuanced context, she offers compelling insights to help any woman who has experienced unrequited obsessive love and been mystified and troubled by its grip.
Lisa A. Phillips
Lisa A. Phillips is a professor of journalism at SUNY New Paltz and the author of Public Radio: Behind the Voices. Her articles have appeared in many national publications, including the New York Times and the Boston Globe. A former radio journalist, she has contributed stories to NPR and other public radio outlets.
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Reviews for Unrequited
12 ratings2 reviews
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I usually avoid self-help books like the plague, but this one is more of a guide to how you'll probably feel and react if you are ever thusly laid low by unreturned affection. It introduced me to a new vocab word limerence: "the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship." The author mixes anecdotal evidence with academic documentation in a very readable style. She uses her own out-of-control stalking episode as a framework, which mostly works but gets a bit repetitive. It might help to cure what ails you if you're ever stuck in this self-defeating miserable mode.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Such a wide range of topics Lisa Phillips covered in her book, from psychology, philosophy, art and literature over personal experience. Unique read, i’m amazed by the author’s empathy and surprising insights which made me learn a lot about gender bias. Highly recommended!