Grace Finds Wings: A Journey In Song

well!

Investing in Eternity

Words and Music by Jill Miller

Greed is a thirst I will never quench

When every last dime I have is spent

I’ll still be thirsty, always wanting more

Yeah, I’ve been there before

No matter what it’s never quite enough

To get to the top of this broken cup

Money runs out and the well runs dry

And I’m never satisfied

Let me lay my treasure down, put my riches on your crown

Grace is where true fortune is found

Money’s had its hold on me, but here and now I’m breaking free

I’ve got to find a better me

I’ll live a brand new way because today I’m gonna be

Investing in eternity, investing in eternity

This ain’t Wall Street, running hot and cold

I am guaranteed to dance on streets of gold

I’ll run from the lies this world tries to sell

It’s a game of show and tell

Let me lay my treasure down, put my riches on your crown

Grace is where true fortune is found

Money’s had its hold on me, but here and now I’m breaking free

I’ve got to find a better me

I’ll live a brand new way because today I’m gonna be

Investing in eternity, investing in eternity

The more I invest the more I will be blessed

The more I lay down the more treasure to be found

The more I give up the more you fill my cup

The more I lose my life the more I get it right

When I sat down to write this song, I was in the middle of a financial crisis. My ministry was struggling to get bookings (mainly because I absolutely can’t book myself and hadn’t figured out that I needed help with that!), and I was spending more money than I was taking in. I was in the middle of starting, in essence, a brand new business as I was touring with Lipstick and Laughs, a trio that I was a part of for three and a half years. One of the members lived in Boston and the other in Nashville, so travel was an essential part of this endeavor and made for a longer-than-normal start-up. We had to work around the schedules of three busy singer/songwriters, plus we had to travel to work together. Skype became our best friend, but you can’t Skype a show or a rehearsal together! All the travel made for a lot of expenses. Plus, the costs of making CDs and doing music for a living are overwhelming at times.

SKYPE BECAME OUR BEST FRIEND, BUT YOU CAN’T SKYPE A SHOW OR A REHEARSAL TOGETHER! ALL THE TRAVEL MADE FOR A LOT OF EXPENSES.

On top of that, my husband owns a retail business that was also struggling at the time, in the midst of a sluggish local economy. Add to that some horrendous medical bills from some health issues I had faced earlier in the year, and it all came together to make for a perfect storm of financial worries. And worry I did! That’s one thing I can do quite well, thank you!

I would read Matthew 6:33, 34 over and over: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Great words to live by, and I know they are true, but sometimes, in fact, most of the time, they’re incredibly hard to put into practice. I would read those words and give myself a great big pep talk, but worry would somehow stomp to my door and present its ugly head over and over again. It felt as if I was swimming in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. I just didn’t see a way out.

I know I’m not alone in worrying about money and finances. Financial stress is such a huge part of our lives. According to Business News Daily:

Worrying about money can affect you in more ways than you may realize. New research has found that the risks of several significant health problems increase when people worry about their financial situation.

While it is not surprising that the main source of stress for most people is money, this new research has found just what people can expect from their worries. In a comparison of people who had a high level of stress over debt and those who did not, it was found that people with high stress levels were twice as likely to have a heart attack compared with those who did not worry about their financial situation. The poll, conducted by the Associated Press and AOL, also found that:

Ulcers or digestive tract problems — 27 percent of people with high stress over finances reported digestive problems versus 8 percent of people who did not worry about finances.

Headaches or migraines — 44 percent of people financially stressed reported having migraines versus 4 percent of people with low financial stress.

Depression — 23 percent of people with financial stress were depressed, compared with 4 percent of people who were not stressed.

Muscle tension or lower back pain — Highly stressed people were 65 percent more likely to suffer from back pain and muscle tensions than those with low stress.¹

And, according to the Rodale News:

I’M SUPPOSED TO ACT AND THINK DIFFERENTLY AND HAVE A PEACE THAT WILL DRAW OTHERS TO CHRIST. HARD TO DO WHEN YOU’RE LIVING IN TURMOIL YOURSELF.

A new study suggests that stressing over work and finances is particularly bad for your health. Scientific evidence—not to mention anecdotal evidence from our own experience—has made it all too clear that stress can lead to health problems like weight gain and high blood pressure. A new study published in Diabetes Care suggests that some types of stress are more damaging than others and can increase your risk of metabolic syndrome, which is a combination of maladies including increased abdominal fat and insulin resistance. This syndrome can lead to other serious problems, most notably Type 2 diabetes and heart disease.²

Hmmmm. So I guess I’m not alone in this worry about finances. And more importantly, this stress-over-money thing can have serious consequences in our lives both physically and emotionally. Who wants to have a heart attack, ulcer, or depression? Doesn’t sound fun to me. On top of that, by calling myself a Christian, I also know that I’m supposed to be different than the rest of the world; I’m supposed to act and think differently and have a peace that will draw others to Christ. Hard to do when you’re living in turmoil yourself, and that pressure I felt to have it all together only added to my worry.

These thoughts about money and these worries about our finances started taking on a life all their own. They crept into all of my waking thoughts and even started waking me up at night. They were like a pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face. You know how it is when you’re sitting out on the deck on a beautiful summer afternoon, trying to read a book and enjoy the day. You get all settled in with your cold drink, your book, and a few precious moments of freedom—and then it comes. That one, maniacal little insect that just won’t leave you alone! You swat at it and tell it to go away, but it doesn’t listen. It just keeps coming back and keeps buzzing and tickling your nose until you feel absolutely crazy. Why won’t it go away? This tiny little insect can be incredibly annoying and ruin any chance you have of finding your joy. This is the same thing worry does.

Well, as I sat to write one day, all these thoughts were front and center in my mind. I knew right then and there I had to make some definite changes in my life, and this song was going to be my battle cry to do just that. I started by acknowledging the fact that greed is something wedged deep inside my soul. It’s an ugly part of me I would like to get rid of, but it remains a part of my makeup. Different Bible verses began jumping out at me, verses such as Luke 11:39: Now then, you Pharisees clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. Proverbs 28:25 says, The greedy stir up conflict, but those who trust in the Lord will prosper. And Luke 12:15 says, Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.’

These verses spoke loudly and clearly to me and opened my eyes to the ways money had truly become my god. I was worshipping it. No, I wasn’t writing songs about it or bringing sacrifices to place on its altar . . . or was I? I was definitely thinking and acting as if having more of it would bring me happiness and peace. I was putting money at the center of my thoughts. I was hoping and praying for more, more, more! I knew better, as I think we all do, yet I realized I really was worshipping at the altar of materialism, because I continued to place my pursuit of it front and center in my life.

The thing about money and greed is that we never get there—wherever there is. If we achieve one goal, we next want something better. If we buy one new car, we just want another new one down the road. If our friend has the latest, greatest outfit, we think we need it too. If you’re anything like me, there’s always one more pair of black shoes that we think we need. (OK, I have to admit: I have a little problem with shoes.) Or maybe it’s the absolutely perfect purse we think we need, while we have ten other perfectly good purses on our shelves. And in spite of the way our clothes are smashed together in our closets, we can never find a thing to wear! It’s a never-ending wish list that we keep in our heads. Most of us try to contain ourselves and tell ourselves we don’t care what anybody else is doing or wearing, but so often we live secretly in a very greedy and envious world. At least I know I do.

So I started writing and pouring my heart out. Greed is a thirst I will never quench, when every last dime I have is spent I’ll still be thirsty, always wanting more, yeah, I’ve been there before. Here was something I knew was, unfortunately, very true in my life and, I think, in many of our lives. We live in a very materialistic society, and we are under constant attack from commercials and movies touting the next best thing that we need to purchase, the one thing that will finally bring us true happiness and peace. We’ve all been caught in that trap and have been disappointed as the thrill of the new purchase quickly wears off. We can spend all we have, overspend what we don’t have, and buy things on credit, but there will always be just one more thing that promises to give us the satisfaction we all crave.

Investing in Eternity

Where I was when this song came to me: Sitting at my piano in my music room

Month, year written: March 2012

How long it took me to write: I am always tweaking, but I probably settled on this version after about two months of reworking it.

When I just knew I ‘had it’: This felt good from the start because I knew the message was so powerful and something that people would relate to. When we were in the studio, this was one of my favorites right away.

Musical style/inspiration this most closely matches: I love Adele, and I hoped to match some of the sassiness and drive in her melodies.

Anything else fun about ‘Investing’? This is the first single we released from the CD. It’s getting played at different independent stations across the country, as well as in England and Ireland, which is pretty cool. The band wants to get their passports ready and do a tour in Ireland!

No matter what it’s never quite enough to get to the top of this broken cup. Money runs out and the well runs dry, and I’m never satisfied. The thirst for money is truly insatiable. There’s no satisfying it. I remember hearing a very troubling quote by billionaire businessman and aviator Howard Hughes. When asked how much money would be enough, one of the richest men in the world said, Just a little bit more. Isn’t that sad to think that, even at his level of success, he was always striving for more money? Nothing was ever going to be enough.

I realize part of the problem for me is my extremely competitive nature. Being competitive is great for sports, but it can be a liability in everyday life. It’s hard to see your neighbor come home with a brand new car and not feel a tug that you deserve one too! It’s hard to see people update their houses and not feel as if yours needs a few changes, too. It’s hard to hear about the wonderful trips your friends and coworkers are going on when you can’t afford to travel. We all quite easily fall into that competitive trap, which only ends up making us feel empty.

Let me lay my treasure down, put my riches on your crown. In Matthew 6:19-21 Jesus teaches us about money when he says, Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Jesus doesn’t pull any punches, but calls it as it is: Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. He makes it pretty clear that if we make money and wealth our treasure, our hearts are going to follow. The true treasure in life is found in Jesus Christ and His free gift of salvation. When I keep that truth foremost in my thoughts, the things of this world quickly become trivial and meaningless. We all know that You can’t take it with you, but so often we act as if we can when we put currency before eternity, we sacrifice charity for our own prosperity, and we put our personal greed before the overall need. (Hey, maybe I can become a rapper!)

As I delved into this passage further and read some of the explanatory notes in my Bible, I realized that this teaching by Jesus is not limited to money and tithing, although I believe we are definitely investing in eternity with our tithes. Beyond that, however, I believe the Scripture relates to all acts of obedience to God. When we make God the center of our lives, our hearts will be exactly where He asks us to be. When we act in disobedience to God and chase after things of this world, our hearts will be far away from the only true peace we will ever find, which is smack dab in the middle of Jesus and His crown.

Grace is where true fortune is found. Grace, such an amazing, incredible, undeserved gift, is exactly where our fortune truly lies. We can strive for success, strive to attain things, and strive to find happiness along the way, but the only true happiness and peace I have found on my journey has always been when God’s grace and love have shone through in my life, when I have felt His holy presence all around me. The joy I get from that new pair of shoes lasts such a short time, but this is a joy that will last for all eternity.

And best of all, it’s free! Free to you and me, that is, because Jesus paid such an incredibly high price on the cross in order to allow each of us the opportunity to spend eternity with him. It’s like filling your