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    Graham of Thrones
    Graham of Thrones
    Graham of Thrones
    Ebook97 pages39 minutes

    Graham of Thrones

    By Graham R. R. Stark

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    About this ebook

    'I stared in horror - it was a dark, evil green colour with big scales. I hadn't seen a bathroom like this since 1973.'

    From the creators of Sunday Timesbestseller Fifty Sheds of Grey, Graham of Thronesis the hilarious story of one man's epic journey from the grim North to the affluent South, to face his destiny in the shape of the greatest of all lavatories, the mythical Iron Throne. On his way he must overcome brash bathroom salesman Jeremy Glennister, his diminutive philosophical plumber's mate, Tyrone and his wife's miniature dragon collection.

    Whether you're a Game of Thronesfan or just looking for epic laughs, this is the perfect loo book, lavishly illustrated with sumptuous images of toilets and bathrooms of all shapes and colours and liberally sprinkled with side-splitting lines.

    If you want this Christmas to be merrier than ever, remember... WINTER IS PLUMBING.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster UK
    Release dateNov 6, 2014
    ISBN9781471141652
    Graham of Thrones

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      Book preview

      Graham of Thrones - Graham R. R. Stark

      First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2014

      A CBS company

      Copyright © 2014 by @GrahamThrones

      This book is copyright under the Berne Convention.

      No reproduction without permission.

      All rights reserved.

      The right of @GrahamThrones to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

      Simon & Schuster UK Ltd

      1st Floor

      222 Gray’s Inn Road

      London WC1X 8HB

      www.simonandschuster.co.uk

      Simon & Schuster Australia, Sydney

      Simon & Schuster India, New Delhi

      Every reasonable effort has been made to contact copyright holders of material reproduced in this book. If any have inadvertently been overlooked, the publishers would be glad to hear from them and make good in future editions any errors or omissions brought to their attention.

      A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

      ISBN: 978-1-47114-164-5

      Ebook ISBN: 978-1-47114-165-2

      Typeset and designed in the UK by Nick Venables

      Printed and bound in Spain by Graficas Estella

      For Charles Hawtrey,

      the original lavatory man.

      CONTENTS

      TRAPPED!

      EPILOGUE

      TRAPPED!

      A prisoner within these four walls. I’ve tried everything – pushing, kicking and screaming for help, but still the door remains resolutely shut. Resigned to my fate, I reach deep inside my trousers and pull out the only thing that gives me comfort in times of great stress – Practical Plumbing for Professionals. The great, golden mystical bible for all water-based mechanics.

      The musty yellowed tome falls open at an all-too-familiar page and my mind is instantly cast back to that fateful day many years ago...

      My father shook me awake and soon we ventured out into the cold winter dawn. ‘The time has come, Graham my lad. Time to

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