The 21-Day Dad's Challenge: Three Weeks to a Better Relationship with Your Kids
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About this ebook
The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge features a simple, practical tip for each day of the next three weeks—along with a quick, easy way to try it out. Not enough to weigh you down; just enough to make a difference.
You’ll be challenged by the best: Tony Dungy, Josh McDowell, Randy Alcorn, Carey Casey, Jim Daly, and more.
No matter what your child’s age, make each day count with in-person loving, coaching, and modeling—starting with the next 21!
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Reviews for The 21-Day Dad's Challenge
2 ratings1 review
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5This book is in response to the movie Courageous and is a challenge to men to step up to the call of Fatherhood. This is a daunting task in today's society and many men feel over-whelmed and ill-equipped. This book is written with the evidence of the heart of Jesus - in that it is very encouraging and edifying to men who are in the season of Fatherhood. Though it challenges men in areas it also encourages them to continue in the daily work of being a father.
Like mothers, fathers too need the mentorship of older men. This is simply the call in Timothy spelled out. In this book men will find the advice of other father's who have been down the path. They impart their wisdom that has been gleaned from experience and scripture in a way that will empower the father's of today to become great leaders.
Father's you will not be disappointed. Women - encourage your men, but don't nag them. Point out what they are doing right and allow God to show them through this book and other godly men what scripture says they need to work on. If you buy this for your husband be sure to remind him that you are proud to be married to a godly man that would be willing to read a book like this. As a mother - I know I am constantly encouraged by the huge amount of books on the subject of motherhood. I am glad to see this well-written book for men.
Thanks to the publisher for this review copy.
Book preview
The 21-Day Dad's Challenge - Tyndale House Publishers
Proverbs tells us that whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, and nowhere is that more true than on the amazing journey of being a dad. I’m so thankful for this book full of wise words and thoughts on fatherhood from some wise men (and a wise woman).
STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN
Dad of six; Grammy and Dove Award-winning singer and songwriter
"This book is wonderfully written, timely, and needed for all men—especially African American men who are daily faced with caring for their fragile families. I highly recommend The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge and pray the challenges presented will be accepted and put into practice by everyone who reads it."
JOHN PERKINS
Co-founder and chairman of the board, Christian Community Development Association; president, John M. Perkins Foundation for Reconciliation and Development
Would you believe that being a great dad can be fun? You and your child can enjoy growing closer at the ice cream shop, in a church service project, at the pet store, even at the junkyard—and this book shows how. And in only three weeks! The smallest changes can make the biggest difference. Day by day, this book brings you closer to being the dad you really want to be.
GARY SMALLEY
Author, Change Your Heart, Change Your Life
Desiring for decades to parent more effectively, I wish Carey Casey had provided his illuminating book years ago. Fortunately, I can now use its inspiration to become a better father to my adult children and eventually my grandchildren.
BARRY C. BLACK, PH. D.
Chaplain of the United States Senate
Day_Dad_ebook_0003_001The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge: Three Weeks to a Better Relationship with Your Kids
Copyright © 2011 Focus on the Family
A Focus on the Family book published by Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188
Focus on the Family and the accompanying logo and design are federally registered trademarks of Focus on the Family, Colorado Springs, CO 80995.
TYNDALE is a registered trademark of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. Tyndale’s quill logo is a trademark of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. (www.zondervan.com).
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior permission of Focus on the Family.
Cover design: Erik M. Peterson
Cover photo: Silhouette of man copyright © DNY59/iStockphoto. All rights reserved.
Author photo copyright © Carey Casey. All rights reserved.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
The 21-day dad’s challenge : three weeks to a better relationship with your kids / Carey Casey, general editor.—1st ed.
p. cm.
A Focus on the Family book
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-58997-681-8
1. Fathers—Religious life—Textbooks. 2. Fatherhood—Religious aspects—Christianity—Textbooks. I. Casey, Carey, 1955- II. Title: Twenty-one day dad’s challenge. III. Title: Three weeks to a better relationship with your kids.
BV4529.17.A15 2011
248.8’421—dc23
2011030114
Printed in the United States of America
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 / 16 15 14 13 12 11
Contents
Dedication
Carey Casey
Introduction
Carey Casey
Day 1: The Fun of Fatherhood
Carey Casey
Day 2: Where Closeness Comes From
Josh D. McDowell
Day 3: Do The Things Your Kids Want To Do
Tony Dungy
Day 4: Where’s Daddy?
Dr. Gary Rosberg
Day 5: There’s No Place Like Home
Joe White
Day 6: No Experience Required
Jim Daly
Day 7: I’m Sorry, I Was Wrong!
Gracia Burnham
Day 8: Where Seldom is Heard An Encouraging Word
Gary J. Oliver, Ph.D.
Day 9: Unforgettable
Clark Hunt
Day 10: What’s in a Name
Shaun Alexander
Day 11: The Forever Stamp
Mark DeMoss
Day 12: Buy a Unicycle
Jay Payleitner
Day 13: You Lead, They Succeed
Chip Ingram
Day 14: Don’t Panic!
Michael Catt
Day 15: Oooh, Tough Word!
Jim Moore
Day 16: Walking Through Life With Your Kids
Bryan Clay
Day 17: Raising Faithful Stewards
Randy Alcorn
Day 18: Improving Their Serve
Stuart Briscoe
Day 19: Helping Kids Learn Responsibility
Lee Paris
Day 20: Be a Storyteller
Marcellus Casey
Day 21: Holding Kids Accountable
Carey Casey
Afterword
Carey Casey
Bonus Challenges
Listening Up
Dr. Wayne Coach
Gordon
When All Is Said and Done
Dr. Ken Canfield
Notes
What’s This?
Day_Dad_ebook_0011_001Whenever you see a symbol like this in The 21-Day Dad’s Challenge, it’s time to whip out your smartphone if you’ve got one. Go to your app store and download any free QR code reader and install it. Then scan the code using the camera on your phone. You’ll find yourself watching a video with extra encouragement and helpful tips about that day’s challenge. Get started by scanning the code on this page for a special introduction to this book.
Note: If you don’t have a smartphone, you can view the videos by going to the Web address listed next to each code symbol. For this introduction, that’s http://www.21DayDadChallenge.com/Intro.
Dedication
By Carey Casey
This book is dedicated to my friend Peter J. Spokes. He was my partner in leading the National Center for Fathering, and his fingerprints will continue to be very evident in the Center’s work. He was a fantastic complement to me, since he had skills in areas where I don’t. And although I only knew him for a little more than four years, my respect for him grew just about every day.
That statement held true in the last days of his life, as his body began to shut down after a battle with leukemia and complications of a bone marrow transplant.
He was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But I watched him live with a kind of courage that we would all do well to emulate, right up to his last breaths on this earth. His influence on me, and on hundreds if not thousands of others, will not soon be forgotten.
In this brief tribute, I hope you will not only gain an appreciation for who Peter was, but also be challenged and inspired in your own fathering.
First, Peter had a passionate commitment to help dads. He served at the National Center for sixteen years, most recently as president and chief operating officer. From the very beginning, this work was a passion and a calling on his life. Why would a Yale graduate with a Stanford MBA and a successful, lucrative career at General Mills leave all that and uproot his wife and six kids to join a small nonprofit organization? Because he believed he could help affect the lives of fathers and children. Helping others was a higher priority than serving himself, and it showed in his life every day.
One morning during Peter’s final days, I went to see him very early. After we laughed and joked a bit, I told him, I hate thinking about it, but it seems like you will get your reward before I do.
He just smiled.
I said, School me up here. From your perspective right now, what do you want to tell me?
He said, "Carey, if there’s anything I would say, it’s, ‘Finish the work.’"
Dad, even during what had to be the most difficult time of his life, he had you in mind. He gave all he could to the cause of inspiring and equipping fathers because he knew this work is strategic in helping children and our society.
Second, Peter had no regrets. He was truly a Championship Father. He was a driving force behind much of our work at the Center, and lived out his own personal commitment to his family. He demonstrated for all of us what it means to be a great dad, a father to the fatherless, and a man with a heart for helping other men understand and pursue their role as fathers.
During those last weeks before he died, Peter tried to think of anyone he had offended, anyone from whom he needed to seek forgiveness, or anything important that he had yet to say to someone. He talked to his pastor and continued to meditate and pray about this during those long, lonely hours in the hospital, and he couldn’t think of anyone. He was one of those rare people who actually kept up with life. He made sure the important things got done.
Judging from everything I saw, Peter invested himself in his family every day. He never let his priorities get off track, so he never had to make it up
to his wife and children later on. He made sure his family received his best time; he planned ahead and anticipated what his children might need from him, and did his best to meet those needs. He made his kids’ academic and spiritual education a high priority, and took an active role in many areas of their lives. He didn’t put off difficult talks with a child or avoid addressing family challenges. That kind of faithful, everyday commitment doesn’t often make the headlines, but it might be the most courageous thing a father can do.
Even during his last days, through all the pain and difficulties he was experiencing, he was thinking about others and planning ways to help them go on with life. Some people get really mean and selfish when they’re sick; often it changes the way they function. But not Peter.
With his family, Peter made sure nothing was left unsaid. He spoke blessings to each of his children and passed on nuggets of wisdom that were important to him. Can you imagine having those conversations with your wife and children? Two of his daughters were not yet married, so he reinforced earlier conversations about what to look for in a husband. He talked to his two unmarried boys about choosing a bride. He gave them all thoughts about how to handle children when they eventually have kids. He talked about working with integrity at their jobs.
And when he did pass away, it was inspiring to see how his family members were there for each other. They responded as positively as you could ever expect. I believe it’s largely due to the fact that Peter had spent years laying a foundation of love, respect, and integrity. He’d helped family members form strong communication habits, so they were much more able to handle his illness and his passing.
I still hurt for Peter and his family. I wanted them all to be able to share many more years together. I wanted him to help all his kids get married, see his grandbabies come into the world, the whole nine yards. I know that what he’s doing now is much better than even those things, but I wish he could have done them.
His family tree didn’t have a long history of faith. But Peter made a courageous choice to trust God and go deep with Him. I know his faith carried him through his most difficult moments. He said his greatest joy was knowing that all six of his children—and two more by marriage—loved the Lord Jesus Christ. There’s really nothing more important for a father than that.
I appreciate you reading about my friend, whom I still miss just about every day. But I also hope you’ll take something from this dedication that you can use. Since funerals and memorials are for the benefit of the living, it’s appropriate to ask, What about you, dad?
Are you pursuing Championship Fathering—loving, coaching, and modeling for your children, encouraging other children, and enlisting other dads to get involved? Are you investing yourself in causes greater than yourself? Or are you making the mistake of thinking you’ll make priority changes next week or next year?
Like Peter, let’s make sure that every day we leave nothing unsaid or undone with our wife and children.
Acknowledgments
Looking at the