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    Gulabi
    Gulabi
    Gulabi
    Ebook48 pages48 minutes

    Gulabi

    By Pankaj Suneja

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Schizophrenia is challenging disorder often characterized by abnormal social behaviour and a significantly altered perception of reality. Its treatment largely depends on medications and psychosocial interventions but no single approach is widely considered effective for all patients. Through this book I offer my readers a glimpse into the multifaceted world of schizophrenia in the form of fictitious storyline revolving around two characters Monty (the psychotic part) and Virginia (the non psychotic part). The boundary between the two is permeable. Monty conjures up ‘Gulabi’, following his abrupt separation from his long time partner, while Virginia, having suffered from a personal loss sets out to follow her lifelong aspiration to travel the world.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPankaj Suneja
    Release dateJul 3, 2014
    ISBN9781311214737
    Gulabi
    Author

    Pankaj Suneja

    Pankaj has recently completed his Master of Arts in Psychology (Psychosocial Clinical Studies) from Ambedkar University, Delhi. In 2011- 12, he suffered from a psychotic episode and had to leave his studies. With the help of medication and the support of his family and teachers, he regained the health and resumed studies. In October 2013, during one of the experiments for his thesis work he attempted to survive without medications. The idea was to understand the occurrence of a psychotic episode in as authentic a manner as possible. Medication would have interfered with this process. In the winter break of the same year he experienced a painful breakdown of his long-term relationship. At the same time, his family also moved away after having spent some time with him. In December 2013, at the height of loneliness, he began hallucinating about ‘Gulabi’. She disappeared a month later. Soon after, he suffered from a psychotic relapse. His thesis work has been about understanding the experience of psychosis or schizophrenia.

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      Book preview

      Gulabi - Pankaj Suneja

      GULABI

      Pankaj Suneja

      Published by Pankaj Suneja at Smashwords

      Copyright 2014 Pankaj Suneja

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      I know you hope that by writing this I will realize that this never happened and I imagined her. But the thing is I don’t need to make sense of it… I don’t care if there is a good explanation. I need you to believe me anyway. Just take the leap. At least imagine how it could be true for me."

      -Calvin in Ruby Sparks

      ACKNOWLEDGMENT

      Thank you, Gulabi, for staying with me. Thanks to family, teachers and friends for appreciating my writing and work.

      To Gulabi

      1 Death

      This is a story about the coming of age of Monty. Monty was a student at the university and had been in a long distance relationship with a girl. He was happy with the relationship, though sometimes he felt uncertain about it. Finally, in the middle of the cold winter, they abruptly parted for good. He stopped calling her. She called him for a few days, and then stopped as well.

      Monty knew that the relationship was over. He felt guilty for the abruptness. He wanted to believe that she had moved on and wasn’t thinking about their relationship anymore.

      She thought that he had stopped calling her because he was not interested anymore. She then realized that she wasn’t interested in the relationship either.

      Monty, however, accepted that even though this relationship was over, his desire to seek a perfect relationship was still burning. He wanted a motherly, platonic, cinematic love, a notion that had taken shape in the subconsciousness of his childhood.

      He met Simi while he was travelling in the metro. She started talking to him and told him all about herself. She was from Kandy, in Sri Lanka. She had graduated in electronic engineering and was 24 years old. She told him that she liked to play with her teddy bear and thought that it was her son. She would talk to the bear about everything.

      Though Monty’s interest in her was growing, he didn’t feel brave enough to ask her out for coffee or to be friends. After an uneasy pause, she asked him, Will you be my friend? Monty was taken aback and then excitedly said, Yes, and that will be a good start. Monty shivered all over. He found her very attractive and thought she was beyond his league. She took his cell number. Monty took out his phone waiting for a missed call from Simi to get her number in return. Just then the train stopped at a station and the doors opened. Simi said that she had to get off. Monty could not even remember the moment she jumped out of the train. It was as if she had disappeared or become invisible. Monty never got the call.

      As time passed, Monty grew needier. He began to expect a relationship to develop from every conversation. But he did not have the confidence to approach anyone. As soon as he would share a little bit of himself in a conversation, he imagined that he had fallen in love and expected the other to be his girlfriend/boyfriend.

      Monty ended up feeling that the perfect relationship did not exist. He wondered why people could not acknowledge this fact and stop conditioning their empty minds with false promises of love. He laughed at himself. He began to believe that all relationships like friends, lovers, boyfriend/girlfriend were

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