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    Creation: Myth, Metaphor & Layers of Historical Allegory
    Unavailable
    Creation: Myth, Metaphor & Layers of Historical Allegory
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    Creation: Myth, Metaphor & Layers of Historical Allegory
    Ebook132 pages2 hours

    Creation: Myth, Metaphor & Layers of Historical Allegory

    By Stuart Lorde

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    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this ebook

    A seriously humorous review for the intellectually curious ... and in style and exclusive content, quite unlike ANYTHING written before. A unique experience. Features the Reformation Hypothesis; the Circles of Time; the Bastard Kings of Israel, and numerous other fiendishly original thoughts.

    Revelation 2 takes Satan, Hitch and Snikwad back to way before the Beginning and into the religious evolution of the dark, water-filled, pre-Creation biblical universe, and the mysteries of the two highly contradictory versions of intelligently designed biblical creation science mythology.

    Did the ancient Elohim deities create everything in six days? Did the misogynous new Yahweh deity re-create everything in a single day? Did Jesus – or even the Holy Ghost – play any part at all? Were multiple humans who looked like gods the very last living things created? Was a lone male mud-man who maybe didn’t look like a god the very first living thing created? And was the planet’s first Homo sapiens female created from one of the mud-man’s ribs in an act of divine surgery about 6,000 years ago? Was the mythological Middle East Garden of Eden actually in Jackson County, Missouri? So many questions ...!

    Our adventurous boys from the Sacred Grotto answer with the proposition that fantastical tales like Light of the Elohim; Yahweh’s Re-Creation Day; Two Magic Fruit Trees; Adam’s Good-Servant-Rib-Wife, and Eve and the Talking Serpent were literally true only for quaint folk. The Jewish and pre-Jewish priests who wrote and re-wrote them didn’t take them literally. They look to be ingenious historical allegories that are cover stories for some very real human politics and history ... and downright personal slander that has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone’s version of “God”.

    The Diabolical Trio also find that to decode the enigma of why the trees were created before the sun, it is necessary to first recognise why Tyrannosaurus rex were vegetarian; fish didn’t eat porridge until they evolved into sheep, and the Adam Family looked like Jesus ... but fire-breathing biblical leviathans didn’t.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherStuart Lorde
    Release dateJun 16, 2014
    ISBN9781310884405
    Unavailable
    Creation: Myth, Metaphor & Layers of Historical Allegory
    Author

    Stuart Lorde

    A seriously humorous Bible review for the intellectually curious. Internationally celebrated author and mythologist Stuart Graham George Lorde-Jardine was born in the prophetically significant year of 1953: the Julian Year 6666. His nativity took place in Northern Ireland on the 8th of June: precisely the 1,321st anniversary of the death of The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). His father – while perhaps not strictly a carpenter –did undertake woodwork classes at school, and his mother was once a virgin. According to the testimonial evidence of a long-dead maiden aunt, Stuart’s maternal lineage is descended from both the Bruce and Stuart royal families of Scotland. His paternal lineage is of generations of British clergymen and missionaries who carried Bibles and muskets and incurable diseases to unbaptised heathens throughout the Empire and beyond. Young Stuart’s family migrated to the former penal colonies now known collectively as Australia. There he was educated at, and became staff member of, several universities: specialising in economic history. At one such institution he undertook religion studies. The trauma of the experience convinced him the world desperately needed his Reformation Hypothesis and Satan’s Guide to the Bible - a seriously humorous review for the intellectually curious.

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