101

Copyright © 2012 by Margaret Chatwin Smashwords Edition

Cover photo by Margaret Chatwin

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, dead or alive, is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise – without the prior written permission of the author. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.

Whisk Away Books

108 S 200 W 40-15

Roosevelt UT 84066

ISBN 19781301855759

Other novels by Margaret Chatwin

Taking the Fall

Sweet so Fragile

Erased

101

A novel

Margaret Chatwin

Chapter 1

He was a big man. Tall. Broad shoulders, thick arms, thick chest. He would’ve made a fantastic athlete, if he’d only had what it took to do anything worthwhile with his life.

I’d been told I was the spitting image of him. Being his son, I supposed the claim wasn’t too far out of line. However, my physique was the only part of me that resembled the man. At least I hoped it was. I hated him.

Living with my father had never been fun or easy. It had been tolerable when my mother was alive, but since her passing, five years ago, life at home was hardly bearable. I was nineteen now, and would’ve moved out the instant I’d turned eighteen, had it not been for my younger sister Ren. She was only seventeen and Dad refused to let her move out. Therefore, I refused to let her live alone with him.

He was harsh, cruel, loud, angry, and violent, and if he didn’t have me there to vent on, he would surely turn his solid fist toward Ren. Not that he hadn’t before, but she and I both agreed it would be much worse without me.

It was a little after one o’clock in the morning when I arrived home. I’d already had a rough night and wasn’t up for dealing with any more problems. I was mentally weary, physically exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to go to bed. I eased the front door open as quietly as I could. Stopping short of halfway, because that was the place it always began to squeak. Turning profile, I worked myself through the crack I’d created. I was in, now, and I closed and latched the door in the same silent manner.

The house was quiet. The living room lamp was on, casting a yellow glow across the ceiling and around the room. It reminded me of warmth, of welcome. I would’ve liked to close my eyes and pretend that’s what it really signified, but it wasn’t. It meant my dad was still awake, so did the fresh cigarette smoke I could smell.

Trigg, is that you? His booming voice disrupted the silence and set off all of my internal alarms.

I hadn’t yet determined exactly where he was, but I knew I had to answer.

Yes, sir, I said softly.

It’s one o’clock in the morning! He was in the kitchen.

I know. I’m going straight to bed. My truck broke down on my way home from work and I had to walk the last ten miles. I should’ve just slept in the thing. What was I thinking coming home this late?

That’s all you have to say about it? He made his grand appearance in the doorway, seemingly filling the entire frame. He always had seemed larger than life to me. I was the same height as him, and minus his fifty-pound beer belly, I was probably close in weight. It never felt that way, though. I always felt small, insignificant, and humbled, whenever he was around.

You come waltzing into my house at one o’clock in the morning and that’s all you have to say?

He wanted an apology, wanted me to grovel, and if I had any brains in my head I’d do it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so late. I’ll try not to let it happen again. I was looking him directly in the eyes. If anything got me hit quicker than not looking at him when I spoke, I hadn’t figured out what it was, yet.

You’d better be sorry!

I said I was, and I am.

Are you getting mouthy with me, Trigg? His swift approach not only placed him inches in front of me, but it caused my nerve endings to signal their dismay.

No, Sir, I said as calmly as possible. I’m truly sorry. It was a long walk. I tried to hurry.

You’d better not be lying to me. My father wore the scent of alcohol like some people wore cologne. I couldn’t remember a time, at least not in the last five years, that he hadn’t been drunk. I could almost tell what type, and proof, he was drinking just by the smell of his breath. Tonight it was hard liquor, the worst kind to mix with his personality. I wasn’t going to be getting out of this unscathed.

I’m not lying. I left work on time, got ten miles from home and that’s when the truck died. It was too dark to see under the hood, so I just started walking. I did the unthinkable then I let my gaze shift away from him. I hadn’t meant to, but Ren had entered the room behind him and her movement had caught my attention. A microsecond later I was struggling to breathe past the harsh pressure to my trachea. He had his thick hand wrapped tightly around my throat and he slammed me back against the front door.

When are you ever going to learn to look at me when you speak? he yelled.

I could say nothing to appease him, couldn’t even swallow.

Dad, leave him alone, he’s sorry, Ren spoke in my behalf.

I couldn’t see her anymore, could only see my father’s angry face, and the glitter-like sparkles of light that danced before my eyes from the lack of oxygen.

Always look at me! I’ve told you that a million times!

He liked to see the fear in our eyes. Liked knowing he was in total control over us. He enjoyed seeing the pain he caused, that’s why he always wanted us to look at him. He couldn’t deny himself of those things, not even for a second.

I must’ve given him what he wanted, because suddenly he released me. As I sucked in a much needed breath, and tried to keep my head from whirling so much, he did something very uncharacteristic of himself, he laughed. He shoved me in the chest, and laughed.

When are you ever going to stand up to me?

His question stunned me. He’d never asked anything like that before. He thrived on submission rather than competition, so I had never felt it was in anyone’s best interest to stand up to him.

When are you ever going to be a man and stand up to me? At half your age I was fist fighting my ol’ man out on the front lawn. You don’t even yell back at me. You’re nothing but a coward! You’ll never be anything more. He doubled his fist, and it found its way deep into the core of my abdomen.

I was instantly brought to my knees on the living room floor.

Dad, please don’t hurt him tonight, Ren begged. Just leave him alone. Let him go to bed.

You like that? Dad rammed his foot into the side of my rib cage, adding to my pain. Your baby sister having to defend you? Does that make you feel tough?

It wasn’t nearly as offensive to me as he thought it should be. Ren and I worked as a team on a daily basis. She was all I had, and I was all she had. We had grown extremely close in the years since Mom had been gone. We’d had to.

Dad, stop it! Ren rushed forward, and if I could’ve even uttered a single word at the moment, I would’ve told her to stay back. But I couldn’t, and she didn’t. She latched onto his arm, trying to pull him away from me.

She has more guts than you do, Dad yelled. Then, using his foot, he slammed my head into the floor with so much force it left me very dazed. Still, I had the good sense to know that Ren was now in danger.

I don’t need some little girl telling me what to do, he bellowed then hit her.

I heard the deafening blow of his hand making contact with her tender flesh, but Ren never whimpered or made a sound.

I managed to lift my gaze to find her. She stood looking eye to eye with him. She was a good foot shorter than he was. Slender, rather petite in comparison, and although her vision was blurred with moisture, and her jaw line trembled, she did not break the rule of looking away from him.

Pretty tough for a girl, Dad said. He reached forward catching a wayward strand of her long blond hair with his pinky. He tucked it gently behind her ear. You look like your mother.

Apparently that wasn’t a good thing, because it caused him to grab a fistful of her hair and yank her head backward with it. She struggled, but maintained balance. Her hand instinctively flew to the back of her neck to lend support and help ease the extreme discomfort she must’ve been feeling.

Dad, she has nothing to do with this. Because of the pain I still felt in my ribs and stomach, I could only manage to get my voice a notch above a whisper.

He heard me, just the same, and threw a threatening glance my direction. It made my heart accelerate, but that was okay. I’d have rather been beat bloody than see him hurt Ren.

It isn’t fair what you’re doing to her. I gathered myself up off of the floor, but could only stand in a terribly slouched position with my arm wrapped around my middle.

Fair? He released her suddenly, focusing his undivided attention on me. When has fairness ever been a part of this household?

I could answer that, easily. Never.

Yet you somehow want it now?

What I want is for you to leave her alone.

And what, exactly, are you willing to do to earn that?

He was calling me out, and I knew it. But tonight was the first time he’d ever done that and I was still very confused by it. Quite frankly, I was scared. I feared that no matter what I did, or didn’t do, I was only going to manage to make him angrier. That was the trouble with him and hard liquor, nothing was good enough.

Can’t we just call this a night and go to bed? I decided it was best to try and deal with this in a rational manner. He made me change my mind a moment later, however, when he turned and smacked Ren so hard she tumbled to the ground.

Get away from her, I finally yelled. I pushed aggressively past him and bent to help Ren.

Her hand was glued to the spot on her face where she’d been struck, a tear from each eye rolled down her cheeks. I barely had her upright before Dad shoved me aside, brutally attacking her again.

What was going on tonight? I couldn’t seem to wrap my head around it. My father had pushed and slapped Ren plenty of times, but I’d never seen him hit her with a closed fist before. Now, she was curled in the corner, nose gushing blood, screaming, and trying to shield herself from his blows that seemed never ending.

Why are you doing this to her? I shouted. If it’s me you want, here I am. I forced him to stop hitting her by latching onto his arm and whirling him around to face me. Ren, quick to realize her break, scrambled out of the corner she’d been pinned into.

Come on, Dad yelled, knocking me roughly in the chest again. Hit me!

So I did.

I swung hard, making contact with his jaw bone, but it hurt my knuckles more than it seemed to hurt him and, just like I had figured, it only agitated him more.

My strength had never been developed in a violent manner. I wasn’t a fighter. Besides my father, there was no other portion of my life that involved contention or aggression. So, when he fired a blow back that knocked me off my feet, I knew I was going to lose this battle.

He kicked me while I was down, driving his foot repeatedly into my ribs. Shouting at me to get up and be a man.

I couldn’t get up. All I could do was lay face-down on the floor trying to catch my breath.

I don’t know how long it took me, but there came a moment when I became aware of the complete silence that had fallen over the room.

I lifted my face out of the carpet to find out what was going on. My father stood still. He stared at Ren as she stood in the doorway facing him. She maintained steady eye contact with him, but I could tell that what he read in her eyes, this time, did not please him. I shifted my gaze to my sister.

Blood ran from her nose, over her lips and dripped off of her chin, but she stood with a strange look in her eyes. It was one of sheer hatred.

It frightened me.

I followed her shape from her face down to her hands. Both of them were stretched out in front of her body. They were stained with blood, and in them she held my father’s pistol!

This discovery nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. The severe discomfort that had wracked my body just seconds ago vanished, and I was suddenly overtaken by numbness, so intense, I’d have rather felt the pain instead.

I’ll kill you, Dad! I will, she threatened in a low, but very controlled voice.

He obviously believed her, because he didn’t move an inch.

Ren, what are you doing? I gulped. Put that thing down. This isn’t funny.

I know it isn’t, Trigg. It stopped being funny a long time ago. He’s done this to you for years. It has to end sometime it may as well be right now. Get up! she ordered me.

I clamored to my feet, afraid not to and watched Ren’s glare return to our father.

Drop your car keys to the floor, she told him.

Though I wasn’t looking at him, kept my eyes right on her, I heard a frustrated, angry breath escape his body as he slowly dug into his pocket for the keys. He was not at all happy with having to comply, but, just like me, he was afraid not to. Finally, he dropped the keys to the floor near his feet.

Pick them up, Trigg, she demanded.

Ren . . .

Pick up the keys, Trigg! she screamed.

Okay, calm down, I whispered. I moved slowly and deliberately forward, but, as I drew nearer to the keys, my father’s soul piercing glare stabbed me. I instantly felt my blood freeze. My body followed suit, and I was stuck in limbo.

I felt like the rope in this game of tug-of-war. I was being ripped apart. On the one side, my sister with a gun. A gun! I had no idea what she was capable of at the moment. I’ve never seen her take such an aggressive role, nor have such a crazed look in her eyes. I was sure she only wanted to get us out of there, but her approach was blowing my mind.

On the other side, I had my father, threatening my very existence. He was going to kill me if I laid a finger on his keys, and there was no doubt in my mind that he could do it.

I swallowed hard, lowering my eyes away from his. Maybe if I wasn’t looking at him I could pretend I wasn’t spending my last few moments on earth. I moved a few inches closer to him and stooped over to retrieve the keys. As the tips of my fingers were just about to touch the metal, my father’s foot lifted. I mentally braced myself for the sharp pain that would soon come to the side of my head. I was in a vulnerable position, and was sure he would take advantage of it. But, it appeared Ren wasn’t going to grant him the opportunity.

To stop him, she pulled the trigger.

The loud bang pierced my ear drums, causing my heart to rattle violently against my rib cage. It startled me, to say the least, and I dove to the already close floor, for cover. I heard, and felt, my father hit the ground beside me, but I squeezed my eyes closed tightly so that I didn’t have to see him. He was close enough that I could feel the heat from his body.

When the ringing in my ears died slightly, I forced myself to survey the damage. My father lay on his back, holding his shoulder. Blood oozed out between the gaps of his fingers as he grasped the wound. He struggled for a breath and so did I.

Holy crap, Ren, you shot him, I could hardly speak.

Ren had re-focused her aim, by now, and it was trained directly on his chest.

Don’t do it, Ren, I cried out. Please, don’t do it. You know what happens to people who kill. Let’s just get out of here! I scrambled for the keys then somehow manage to make it to my feet. I was trembling, my knees incredibly weak. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to stand.

Let’s go, I ordered, but Ren didn’t budge. Her jaw was rigid, and there was hatred like I’ve never seen before blazing in her eyes. Her angry glare hadn’t diverted for even a second off of the man she’d just shot.

Ren, please, I begged. Let’s just get out of here. I nodded toward the door, even took a step that direction, but as I did, my father reached out, wrapping his hand around my ankle to keep me from leaving.

I swear I could feel Ren’s finger pressing harder on the trigger at that moment.

No! I shouted, praying she’d listen. However, I had little hope, considering the state of mind she seemed to be in, and I waited for her to fire the next shot. When she