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    If I Were You
    If I Were You
    If I Were You
    Ebook326 pages5 hours

    If I Were You

    By Lisa Renee Jones

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    In the bestselling style of Fifty Shades of Grey, Lisa Renee Jones delivers sexy thrills and heart-pounding sensuality with a tantalizing page-turner in which the eyes of a high school English teacher are opened to a world she never knew existed, and she finds a passionate craving within that she never knew she possessed.

    The journal comes to Sara McMillan by chance, when she inherits the key to an abandoned storage locker belonging to a woman named Rebecca. Sara can’t resist peeking at the entries inside . . . and finds a scintillating account of Rebecca’s affair with an unnamed lover, a relationship drenched in ecstasy and wrapped in dark secrets.

    Obsessed with discovering Rebecca’s destiny after the entries come to an abrupt end, Sara does more than observe the players in the woman’s life; she immerses herself in the high-stakes art gallery world Rebecca inhabited—and is magnetically drawn to two men. Which one seduced Rebecca with his masterful and commanding touch and brought her fantasies to exquisite life? On a daringly erotic escapade, Sara follows Rebecca’s path to fulfill her own hidden longings. But after she tastes the forbidden pleasures Rebecca savored, will Sara be helpless to escape the same submissive fate?

    Editor's Note

    Kinky Transformation...

    Fans of 50 Shades of Grey will get a kick out of this tale of a mysterious, kinky journal that totally transforms mild-mannered Sara’s life.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGallery Books
    Release dateSep 13, 2012
    ISBN9781476726069
    Author

    Lisa Renee Jones

    Visit Lisa at www.lisareneejones.com

    Read more from Lisa Renee Jones

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    Reviews for If I Were You

    4/5

    164 ratings25 reviews

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    • 3/5
      A little slow and stretched out. Every detail is described. The heroine brushed her teeth, etc. The first novel ends abruptly with all sorts of dangling story lines and a hint of bdsm to come, if you read the entire series, i.e. it looks like the author just decided to chop the book and call it book one.
    • 4/5
      I enjoyed the book and read it because I heard this series was going to be made into a series for TV. I will read the rest of the series since I want to find out what happens.
    • 5/5
      Loved it
    • 5/5
      Loving this first part of the series.
    • 4/5
      I'm glad I have the next book in hand so I won't trip on the cliff :-)

      OMG!

      I've listen to Rebecca's lost Journals first, so I was feeling like Sara when she read the first journal, I wanted to have closure and I was a little upset and thrilled at the same time, well at the end of Rebecca's Journals I got a glimpse of The Master Undone:

      (...) I told him goodbye, and I will not call him. I know if I do, it will be my undoing, and I'll once again be caught up in his spell. I will once again be...lost.(...)

      ...In her private journals, Rebecca laid bare her soul, revealing her obsession for the one man whose erotic demands captivated her imagination--and enslaved her forever. Now, with Rebecca no longer in his life he is lost, questioning everything he thought he knew about himself and about control he holds in such high regard. One women will reach out to heal him and then turn away, leaving him haunted. She is nothing he thought he wanted and somehow everything he needs. He tells himself to forget her but he cannot escape his desire for her. He has to have more...

      I knew something happened and I can't spoil it!

      The journals from Rebecca's point of view were so dark and addictive like a drug. The characters were so captivating and the sex scenes wow… emotions all over the place. :)

      So Sara sets to find her, but her life is about to intertwine with Rebecca’s in an odd way. She finds two mysterious and very dangerous guys, Chris and Mark.

      The search for Rebecca started but I think it was moving very slow, Sara was caught between this two men.

      Chemistry with Chris was spontaneous and fast, he's rich and famous and yeah great it seems his money doesn't overpower him. He's possessive but sweet and funny and has a big secret... Don't we all do! :)

      They were everything each other needed and they were good to each other although they thought they were destructive too. Chris was hard to decipher sometimes and Sara was slow to trust him.

      Chris Merit an amazing artist, was not the only man in her life, Mark Compton, her boss, all about money and control, owns the Art Gallery. This place is the center of all the plot, where Rebecca was last time seen.

      Mark is even more mysterious, wants the best for Sara (I think...) they are both very protective of her. But Mark gives some dangerous vibes, a little creepy at first glance and she's convinced little by little that this man is the man behind Rebecca's journals. The Master who made her run away or worse.

      Along the way we build pieces of the story, but it’s not close enough, when something big happens, this audio book ends of course!!!

      Anyway, I recommend this book and all the next in the series!
    • 5/5
      Sweet!
    • 5/5
      Good read but wow it has a major clif hanger. I can't wait to read the next book!
    • 4/5
      If I Were You by Lisa Renee Jones is a 2012 Gallery Books publication. I am a little late getting around to this series, and I confess I procrastinated a little on it because I was not sure if I would like the subject matter, since I'm not really into the BDSM craze. However, I kept hearing such high praise for the series so I decided to quit putting it off and see what the fuss was all about. Sara is a mild mannered school teacher with a love for art, living a fairly sane life until her friend buys an abandoned storage locker and then leaves Sara with the contents when she runs off with her boyfriend. When Sara discovers a journal written by a young woman named Rebecca, she becomes very concerned for this woman's safety as it seems she may have gotten in over her head with a man and could be in danger. This prompts Sara to accept a summer position at a famed art gallery, a position she really wants to succeed at, but also finds herself a pawn between two men. Mark, her boss and an famous artist, Chris. Each man is sexy and dominant, bordering on controlling and both intrigue Sara and they also make her nervous, especially when she remembers Rebecca's journals. With Rebecca having virtually dropped off the face of the earth, Sara needs to stay on guard, but soon finds herself completely obsessed with the artist. But, does he know what happened to Rebecca? Why does he dislike Mark so much? Could it be possible the two men are playing game with Sara? Even with a little trepidation going into this series, I found myself absorbed in the plot and it's slow build up of suspense. The relationship Sara embarks on is like no other she has ever encountered. It's hot, erotic, and super sexy, but not anything that made me too uncomfortable...yet. Overall, I am curious enough to check out the next book in the series, even though I suspect my comfort zone will be more challenged as we go along. I can certainly see how one could get sucked into these stories, and so far I'm no exception. This one is 4 stars
    • 5/5
      Really great book, which I loved reading, and I would love to read the rest of the series, if it weren't for the price on amazon. I received this one as a review copy, which I greatly appreciate.

      The book is crazy: it's steamy, mysterious, full of twists and great chemistry between the characters. I hated that it ended, and immediately went to amazon to look up the other books in the series, with every intention of buying every single one....and then I saw the price....and didn't buy them.

      However, for anyone less price sensitive than me, or when they are on promo price, I would highly recommend snapping this book up, it's really really good.
    • 4/5
      Mixed emotions about this one. Although the premise is interesting I would have liked a little more story line. I also disliked the fact that nothing was resolved in this book and basically it is 'part 1 of 3'. It was however well written and it has my interest enough to finish up the series.
    • 4/5
      This is the kind of book I'd describe as I'm glad I found it and read it because I enjoyed it so much but the story has such a mind blowing cliff hanger I could scream, I have to know what's next. I loved the mystery and intrigue to the plot as Sara sets out to find Rebecca, the owner of several very erotically explicit journals and finds herself standing in for Rebecca where she worked in an art gallery, where she finds her self under pressure from her mysterious and enigmatic boss Mark and catches the attention of a handsome and very renowned artist, Chris.As the story progress the questions begin to pile up. She senses that Mark is hiding some thing, but nobody at the gallery seems to have any answers, and the journals are a mystery in them selves.Chris helps all he can and the attraction between himself and Sara blooms, though I'm sure he is not showing all his cards yet.For me this isn't over, I have to read the next book,
    • 4/5
      Sara, Sara, Sara. Sara gets immersed into a strangers sex diaries. She is intrigued but scared. Scared for the lady who wrote them. She is sure that something bad has happened to this woman who wrote about these explicit sexual encounters; meanwhile she is really turned on by them too. She is determined to find Rebecca, the woman in the journals.

      So what is a girl to do when a woman has apparently just fallen off the face of the Earth, and no one seems concerned about it? Sara manages to land herself in Rebecca’s shoes, well her job that is. There, she meets one of her favorite artists, and the sparks begin to fly. Soon she is swept off of her feet and loses sight of her initial motives for being at this art gallery. She just can’t help herself. He has a hold on her that she just can’t break. Then there is her new boss. He has a commanding air about him. She can’t seem to tell him no. She begins to think that maybe he is the one who Rebecca wrote about in her journals. As secrets of these two men start to surface, Sara finds herself in a world that scares her and intrigues her at the same time. But just who is this mystery man in the journals, and where is Rebecca?

      This book isn’t just about a woman trying to find someone she thinks is in need of help. This book is also about self exploration and sexual fantasies. It will keep you intrigued and on the edge of your seat from start to finish… and boy what a finish…..
    • 5/5
      Unable to take this series out of my mind. This first book hooks you and does not let go. The mystery and suspense will thrill you. The love affair is beyond my wildest dreams. There is something about Chris that will haunt and entice you. And of course there is Rebecca... what really happened to her?
    • 5/5
      After inheriting a storage unit from a friend, Sara becomes obsessed with some journals she finds in the unit and decides she needs to find the owner. During her search, she meets the man she thinks may be the subject of the journals as well as another incredibly sexy man she cannot seem to stop thinking about. I really like the characters in this story. We do not really know much about Sara, and I like how the author, rather than telling us her whole past right up front, made her past part of the secrets being unveiled through the story. She seems the shy, quiet "good girl" type, but as the story unfolds we find out she is able to stand up for herself and is not pushed easily. Chris is freaking awesome. I love him. He is Mr. Mysterious, sexy as hell, and carries a sexual tension with him everywhere he goes. The chemistry between him and Sara is fantastically erotic, but he has a way of putting her off balance that makes us as the reader never quite know where their story is going to go next. The rest of the characters at this point are rather remote thus far, but I'm sure hoping we will get to know more about them as the story goes on, particularly Mark.This book gives us a glimpse into the world of BDSM, but really it's just a tease. The excerpts from the diaries are a great addition to the book. They show a world of danger, pleasure, pain, love, confusion that Sara just has to find. They make her feel like something is missing in her own life and she will not stop until she finds out exactly what it is. I am very much looking forward to the continuation of this series.
    • 4/5
      3.5 Stars. Okay, there's no getting around the 50 Shades comparisons. The book blurb even describes it as 50 Shades meets Basic Instinct. I mean, face it; it's an uber-rich young guy trying to lead the sweet young thing down the garden path of BDSM. That being said; I didn't find it to be all that much like 50 Shades. There were things that were like it; but enough differences to give this story its own voice.One of the things I liked about the story was that there was a mystery plotline in the story; that of the mysterious and missing Rebecca. Her journals full of BDSM and kinky sex have entranced Sara to the point that she has begun to live Rebecca's life while trying to find out what happened to her. Unfortunately, this plotline gets shuffled to the side for much of the book; only to be brought back as a plot prop for the cliffhanger ending. Still, it added an interesting edge to the story.As for Sara and Chris, their relationship happened way too fast. Add that to the fact that nothing much really happened in the book; and the story really needed the mystery just so that something would be going on in the book. Another thing that bothered me was the mystery of Sarah's girlfriend Ella running off with her doctor boyfriend to elope and take a long (and sudden) honeymoon. In the first place, Ella didn't get in touch with Sara; and in the second place, what kind of a doctor can get off both suddenly and for a month? There's something fishy there.Of the main characters - Sara I didn't get much of a feel for one way or another. She didn't annoy me, but she didn't make an impression either. The moody (almost bi-polar) Chris was a little too high maintenance for my tastes. Rich or not, he was just had too many issues. It was note-worthy that he was a switch, tho; that should make for some interesting scenarios in the next book(s). Then there was Mark, the big, bad, controlling Dom. He's sure to be a scene stealer in upcoming stories.The story has possibilities; but the author needs to tighten it up some. It was a bit slow in places and Soap Opera-ish. I found it fascinating more as a psychological study of the male characters psyche than for the story itself. Between Mark and Chris, they had some doozy issues to explore. They weren't exactly the boys next door. There was no real BDSM in this one. Sara read about it in the journals, it was implied a number of times; there was a voyeurism scene at a sex club. That's being saved for the next books.ARC received from NetGalley. Thank you to NetGalley and Lisa Renee Jones. (
    • 2/5
      If I Were You starts strong. The plot is murky and mysterious. We meet two very intriguing men, Mark and Chris, both who compete aggressively for our heroine’s attention. There is momentum in this whirlwind of activity, attraction and male menace.Then much, much further into the book add some very hot sex. Sex that’s well written and lingers in the mind.Great! Until…Chris’s veneer begins to crack. And not in a good interesting way, but in an inconsistent, immature and out-of-his-mind sort of way. Chris emerges as a man I have a very hard time believing anyone with their head on straight would fall in love with. His newly revealed glaring character flaws are disenchanting and disconcerting. At this point in the story, Chris swiftly lost my regard and respect (as did nutty Sara for loving him). And, as a result, their tepid, mercurial drama became a chore to read.I expected so much more from a book that was ranked high on so many prominent and popular book lists. I am just one reviewer. However, I suggest that you might want to save yourself the $$ and disappointment. This book is devoid of a love worth celebrating.
    • 5/5
      Thrilling, Entrancing & Spellbinding, and that only begins to break the surface in what you get out of If I Were You. I am a new fan of Lisa Renee Jones, it began with Escaping Reality and I loved that book. Which led me to the Inside Out series. And Lisa did not disappoint at all. It was suspenseful enough that you could almost call it a thriller, and that ending whew I’m still reeling from it. Enough so that I want to pick up the next book now and its midnight. The story begins with Sara an English high school teacher with a degree and love of art. She is a strong woman of her own making, determined to do things her way. When her best friend Ella elopes she is left with journals that are found in an abandoned storage unit her Ella won at auction and after reading the erotic journals is immediately concerned for Rebecca the girl in the journals. When they abruptly come to an end Sara sets out on her journey to find Rebecca and not only return her journals but her belongings. Which leads Sara to a summer job at an art gallery. And she soon finds 2 men vying for her attention. Mark, her boss. Domineering, overbearing & intimidating, and then there is Chris, and Artist that is sexy, dark & unexpected. But with all of that said he is controlling and refuses to lose that control. He is enamored with Sara immediately as she is with him. They soon find out that they have too many things (wrong things) in common. Including an electrifying connection to one other that they both feel. Vowing that neither one of them was the picket-fence type of person. They soon find out that what they thought they wanted and what is happening between this are two different things.“There is something happening between us and I pray I was wrong last night. I pray it’s not the beginning of two damaged people tearing each other apart”But the real question is who was Rebecca seeing and what has happened to her. And more importantly where dark path is this journey going to lead Sara down and will she ever be able to recover from it?
    • 4/5
      If I Were You is the first book in The Inside Out trilogy by Lisa Renee Jones. Before I started reading the book I was sooo intrigued by it. The book description really captured my attention, and I thought that this is going to be an amazing read, and thanks Lisa Renee Jones because I was not disappointed! From the very first page of the first chapter this book just captivates you and want let you go until you finish it. It gives you more question with every page, more mystery with every uncovered answer, and more steam with every word between Sara and Chris.“You shouldn't walk away from something that intrigues you"Sara McMillin is a high school teacher with a lost dream of working with art, the profession that holds her true love. Sara's best friend is swept away on honeymoon by her boyfriend, giving Sara a key to a storage room to disposed of the things someone left and never come back for. Sara doesn't understand the idea of someone just leaving all of their things behind, especially a really private things like journals that Sara found, so she sets a goal of finding a mysteries woman to return her things to. Sara gets captured by the world in which Rebecca lived, a woman in a journal. Sara becomes absorbed in the erotic journal of Rebecca's thoughts and fears, from which Sara gets a strong feeling that something bad happened to Rebecca. To find answers Sara visits Art Galley where Rebecca worked at, the situation led Sara to get hired as Rebecca's replacement for the time being. Working at the Art Galley Sara starts to uncover some answers, while getting pulled into the world Rebecca lived in, she doesn't know if she wants be able to pulled back form it...At the Art Galley Sara meets two very sexy and dominant man, who might just be the "Master" in Rebecca's journal. Mark is Sara's new boss, he is very straight forward, a total control freak and honestly at times a bit scary. With his control freak personality and good looks that drawn woman attention he fits a perfect role of being a "Master" Rebecca was referring to in her journals, but Sara can't be sure because at this new world she might be just surrounded by man who might be"Masters".Sara also meets"raw male hotness" Chris Merit, who is a famous artist Sara is drawn too. He is a mystery surrounded by dark secrets and Sara just can't help but want to uncover them. From the moment they met, they both sensed that need to know one another. It all might as well started with a sexual tension, but it developed into so much more.“I can feel this man in every part of my body and he has not even touched me.”“He's dangerous and I've never wanted to live on the edge more in my life.”Their relationship can be seen as both bad and good. Two damaged people find a way to each other can be a disaster and heartbreak but it can also be hope and instead of destroying each other, they might save each other instead. “This ‘crazy’ thing you’re making me feel is the best crazy I’ve felt in a long time. I’m not ready to let go of you. I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Sara, but please ... don’t stop.”Did I mention how hot and steamy and sexy their relationship is? I don't think I did...“I'm going to lick you all over before this night is over, Sara, ... Suck your nipples until you are crazy with need, then spread you wide and lick you until you come and then, I'm going to do it all over again. I'm going to make sure you are so thoroughly fucked that being fucked has a new meaning.”If I Were you is a read you don't want to miss if you love some good mystery with steamy romance. Towards the end this book keeps you on the edge and wanting and pending for answers. I can't want to see where Sarah's and Chris's relationship will go in the next book. The end left a lot of questions unanswered, so if you are planing on reading this book, I recommend to buy the next one right away. For the note: this book is nothing like Fifty Shades, it's way better!
    • 4/5
      You can find this review at My Favorite Things (heffroberts.blogspot.com)If I Were You by Lisa Renee Jones is the first book in the Inside Out Trilogy. After a slow start, this book picks up speed, and steam, as soon as Chris and Mark make their appearance. Sarah's concern for the safety of Rebeccah is touching. Her passion for art almost rivals the passion the Chris ignites in her soul. But there is a dark secret waiting to be revealed. What was Rebeccah into? How is the art gallery involved?I love when authors/books introduce you to songs or bands you haven't heard before. I am loving Broken and Nerve Damage by Lifehouse.May the odds be ever in your favor, and mine as well.-MarkI sink down into the seat, and watch him walk toward the massive open kitchen overlooking the living area, and he is all long-legged, male grace and flexing muscle.-Sarah on the male beauty of Chris"It’s not about making you feel better. It’s about the truth. Sara, baby,” he strokes my cheek, “this ‘crazy’ thing you’re making me feel is the best crazy I’ve felt in a long time. I’m not ready to let go of you. I don’t know what you’re doing to me, Sara, but please…don’t stop."-Chris
    • 4/5
      I'm probably overrating this book when I give it four stars. There is a lot left to be desired with the book, but I still found it enjoyable because of its premise. The plot is a lot like several other stories out there (dreamy rich guy with control issues has hot sexual chemistry with a damaged pretty girl) with the exception that this one is also partly a mystery. I say partly because the mystery that the main character Sara is investigating is often being forgotten. It almost makes me wonder why include it to begin with, except that it is used as a catalyst to change Sara's life.There are quite a few editing issues, and sometimes the wording/phrasing seems, for lack of a better term, clunky. Sometimes it seemed like there was just too much description going on, and I would almost have to smack myself to keep from zoning out. I hope in the sequels that the editor does a better job. If this becomes a major issue within the trilogy, I can see myself enjoying the next two books less than I might if they were properly edited.And there was an overuse of the term "aye" within the book. I've never seen so many characters use that phrase in a novel set in contemporary America. Its overuse was as laughable as it was cringe-worthy. It reminded me of E.L. James' overuse of "my sex" or Stephenie Meyer's of "chagrin". I don't know if the author thought it would be cute or funny or whatever, but I can tell you that it was certainly very annoying.So, why did I give this book four stars? Like I said, I found it enjoyable because of the premise. I like the idea that the main character is possibly hunting down a bad guy. I think that's pretty damn cool. I just wish that she would spend more time doing that than lamenting on the smell of roses and the drama from her engagement to Michael five years prior to the events of the book.
    • 4/5
      When I think of erotic romance, I think sex scene after sex scene with a superficial plot that loosely ties the whole thing together. Usually it goes something like this:
      Woman meets man. Woman intensely dislikes man while still finding him extremely attractive. Woman and man exchange heated words with an undercurrent of sexual tension. They give in to sexual chemistry and end up in bed together - for the rest of the book. Of course, there are variations on this theme but that's how it generally goes. At least, that's how it goes in most romance novels I've read. I can't help it, I have stereotypes for romance and erotica. That's why I generally don't read or review them. Enter author Lisa Renee Jones. If I Stay breaks just about every stereotype I have.

      The main character, Sara, is a strong woman. No, she probably can't kick your ass and she's not a ball-buster. She's a real woman. She's been in bad relationships before and knows better than to repeat her mistakes. She's assertive and smart while also being sensitive and kind. The first-person point of view also gives us an intimate look into Sara's mind and we can see an element of vulnerability that really rounds her out and makes her very believable. I think many women will relate to Sara, her thoughts and her actions. She reads like a real woman instead of a stereotype.

      The main love interest, Chris, is a sexy artist who is a little bit dark and mysterious. He has tattoos, ownes a motorcycle and wears boots. Typical male bad boy, right? No way! Along with being an extreme hottie, he is also sensitive, considerate, and protective without demeaning Sara or coming off as misogynistic. Another stereotype blown!

      As for plot, there's a lot going on here. On the surface, Sara is trying to figure out what happened to Rebecca, the author of the erotic journals that are found in a storage unit. The journals hint at something nefarious and Rebecca has been missing for months. Where is she? Is Sara's new boss, Mark, the man from Rebecca's journals? Does he have something to do with where Rebecca is? Or maybe it's Chris! Could he be the other man in the journal? Sara is determined to find out.

      Underneath that, is the story of Sara and Chris. They are both damaged people who find each other and form the fragile first threads of a relationship. They don't start off hating each other. In fact, they start off curious about each other. With each meeting of this pair, their attraction and genuine interest in each other grows. Things initially build slowly between them but once they each realize the depth of feeling between them things swing into high gear.

      The book ends in a major cliffhanger which I both love and hate! I love that the author makes me want to read the next book in the series immediately! I hate that I have to wait until it's published to read it! This is the exact reason that I like to wait until a series is finished before I start it. That way I can have a reading marathon and read them all one after the other. Darn you, Lisa Renee Jones! Now I have to wait until sometime in 2013!

      Overall, I would recommend this book to a wide audience. The writing is amazing, there's a good mystery, realistic characters, and romance. There are some really steamy sex scenes if that's what you're looking for. Don't be afraid of the mention of BDSM on other reviews or descriptions. And don't be afraid of the comparisons to 50 Shades. This book offers something a little spicier than the usual while still being accessible to the casual reader. There's nothing disturbing or offensive here.

      This book broke just about every stereotype I had of the genre. I loved the characters, loved the plot and was pulled in right from the very first page. 4 Stars!
    • 5/5
      IF I WERE YOU by Lisa Renee Jones is an erotic thrill ride. Sara is a school teacher that finds herself reading erotic journals found in a storage unit bought by her friend and neighbor. The neighbor is being wisked away by her new man and leaves the contents of the storage unit including journal’s of a woman Rebecca’s detailed sex life to Sara. After Sara reads the haunting words in the journal she fears something terrible may have happened to Rebecca. That is when Sara devises a plan to step into Rebecca’s life and work at Rebecca’s old job. That is when all the fun begins! This book is a great read. It is a cliff hanger of a book though, but 2 more books will be out in the series along with short stories that include the journal entries.Rating 5Heat rating: hotReviewed by Rae,My Book Addiction Reviews
    • 3/5
      Not a bad book. I wish there was more to this story, or at least not such a cliffhanger but overall I am curious to read the next installment
    • 3/5
      Much like Fifty Shades of Grey, If I Were You is an erotic tale about a woman submitting to a more dominant man. With this book there is a twist to it. It is not all about the sex. No there is a mystery involved here and Sara intends on solving it. Everything about this story revolves around a set of journals that Sara's friend had in a storage locker. Sara begins reading them and finds out that they are erotic tellings that the author of the journals Rebecca had. Sara becomes obsessed with these journals. I think that her obsession comes from the fact that her own life is kind of boring. Sara wants to find out what happened to Rebeca. What does she do? She basically takes over her life. She gets a job at the art gallery that she worked at and now is trying to find out who the guy is in the journals. While she looks for the man from the journal she is caught between two men in her own life. Mark the gallery owner and Chris the artist. She wonders could one of these guys be the one from the journals? If so, where is Rebecca?Sara seems like an overworked and under challenged woman. I think that is another reason why the journals appeal to her. I think that she goes to far though when you starts to live Rebecca's life. That's kind of stalker-ish and a bit crazy. So she has dived head first into this world that she isn't truly prepared for. She spends most of the time comparing things to what Rebecca wrote. Not to get closer to where Rebecca is but to live her life. She has spent most of her life under her father's strict rule. I don't think that she is a true submissive. I believe that she just is bored with her life and thanks to the journals she has a chance to live out a fantasy.Chris Merit is Sara's love interest in this story. He is dark and mysterious. He is also confusing. He spends most of the time telling Sara that there will be nothing more between them but sex. But then he acts all protective and jealous is Sara looks at another man. I'm not sure if he realizes that no strings attached means that you don't get to stake claim. There are no strings.Mark is still a mystery. We don't know a lot about him, only what others really say. Is he the Alpha that others make him out to be? I think that he has domineering ways, he owns a BDSM club for god sake. Hopefully we find out more about Mark in the next books.This was a good book. It had moments were it dragged a little.The author did a good job in writing this book. I wish that there was more mystery to it, but I guess that comes in the next installments. I enjoyed reading it but I wasn't thrilled about it. I think for me my main turn off on this book in Sara. I understand that in the BDSM world you have dominant and a submissive, and Sara is the sub. She just comes off so insecure and desperate that it almost takes away from the story. I hope that she toughens up a little because otherwise I may not read the next installments.Overall Thoughts:If you are looking to stay within the realm of Fifty Shades you are in the right place. I that that this book can do well own it's own but thanks to it's counter part there is a platform for books like this one. I hope that with the next two books in this trilogy the author works harder to bring the storyline and characters together. Lots of steamy sex scenes so I recommend this one for 18 years+.I received this book from NetGalley and the author in exchange for an honest review.
    • 5/5
      I think it goes without saying that I am a total fan girl of Lisa Renee Jones. Yep. TOTAL FAN GIRL. I have read pretty much everything she has published so far, and I am currently working on the Tall, Dark, and Deadly Series. (Which is a MUST read!) So naturally, when offered an ARC of this one, I jumped at the chance. - Would you have expected any less?!- The fact that it happens to be the FIRST of a new trilogy just made it even better for me!When Sarah's friend suddenly decides to get engaged and head off to Paris, she gives her the key to a storage unit she won in an auction. In that unit Sarah find items that she just knows someone will want back one day. This is also where she finds the journals. The sex ridden, dirty secrets, can't get enough of it - journals. So instead of just selling the stuff, Sarah decides to find the owner. Her first step in this process? Reading the journals to see if they lead her anywhere? & that they did - right to the art gallery where Rebecca was said to work. Sarah gets to do everything that we all do when we pick up a book. She gets to live out the life of Rebecca.. seriously.After visiting the art gallery, only to be told that Rebecca is "on vacation," she finds herself being offered a summer job from the gallery owner himself, Mark. Telling herself that it's just a way to get closer to finding Rebecca - she accepts. It's there that she meets Chris. The dashing, brooding, famous artist Chris, who's work happens to be on display that night. The attraction between the two is almost instant & just about as obvious as the - carve the tension with a knife - relationship that Chris and Mark seem to have.The more Sarah reads of the journals, the more she wonders just what she has gotten herself into and if Rebecca is even okay. Is she simply on vacation as everyone tells her, or was she running from something.. or someone? If it's the latter, is that someone the men that Rebecca writes about in her journals? On that very note, she begins to wonder if she didn't just insert herself directly in the MIDDLE of the very men that Rebecca may be running from. Talk about some life issues man!As Sarah hunts for Rebecca, she finds herself in the very place she was trying to avoid - Chris's arms. As if that one night wasn't enough, it turned into an entire weekend. (Yea, like I would complain!) The result of this weekend was Sarah learning things she probably thinks she is better off not knowing & sends her running as far away from Chris as she can get. Chris on the other hand, isn't have that. (that's right, take charge dude!) He decides to show her just why those journal pages are filled with what they are filled with. (Where can I get me one of these journals? & does it happen to come WITH the man described on its pages?) - He's an all or nothing kind of guy.. WIN.The ball is in Sarah's court now. Can she handle the heat and work through all the demons between them? Especially now, when it seems like there is someone who doesn't want Sarah in the very world she is starting to call her own.If I Were You not only enticingly addicts you from page one, but it plays a freaking orchestra on your heart strings and keeps you coming back for more! To say that I am addicted is an understatement and I cannot wait for more!

    Book preview

    If I Were You - Lisa Renee Jones

    One

    Wednesday, March 7, 2012

    Dangerous.

    For months I’ve had dreams and nightmares about how perfectly he personifies the word. Sleep-laden, alternate realities where I can vividly smell his musky male scent, feel his hard body against mine. Taste the sweet and sensuous flavor of him—like milk chocolate with its silky demand that I indulge in one more bite. And another. So good I’d forgotten there’s a price for overindulgence. And there is a price. There is always a price. I was reminded of this life lesson on Saturday night. And I know now, no matter what he says, no matter what he does, I cannot—will not—see him again.

    It started out as any other erotic adventure with him. Unpredictable. Exciting. I barely remember where it all went wrong. How it took such a dark turn.

    He’d ordered me to undress and sit on the mattress, against the headboard, my legs spread wide for his viewing. Naked before him, open to him, I was vulnerable and quivering with need. Never in my life had I taken orders from a man; most certainly I had never thought I would quiver with anything. But I did for him.

    If Saturday night proved anything, it was that once I was with him, under his spell, he could demand anything of me, and I’d comply. He could push me to the edge, to unbelievable places I’d never thought I would go. Exactly why I can’t see him again. He makes me feel possessed, and what is so disconcerting about this feeling is that I like it. I can hardly wrap my mind around allowing such a thing, though I burn for it. But when I saw him standing at the end of the bed Saturday night, all broad and thick with sinewy muscle, his cock jutting forward, there was nothing but that need.

    He was magnificent. Really, truly the most gorgeous man I’ve ever known. Instant lust exploded inside me. I wanted to feel him close to me, to feel him touch me. To touch him. But I know now not to touch him without his permission. And I know not to beg him to let me.

    I’ve learned my lesson from past encounters. He enjoys the vulnerability of a plea far too much. Enjoys withholding his pleasures until I am nearly quaking with the burn of my body. Until I am liquid heat and tears. He likes that power over me. He likes full control. I should hate him. Sometimes, I think I love him.

    It was the blindfold that should have warned me I was headed toward a place of no return. Thinking back, I believe it did. He tossed it on the bed, a dare, and instantly a shiver chased a path up and down my spine. The idea of not being able to see what was happening to me should have aroused me—it did arouse me. But for reasons I didn’t understand at the time, it also frightened me. I was scared and I hesitated.

    This did not please him. He told me so, in that deep, rich, baritone voice that makes me quiver uncontrollably. The need to please him had been so compelling. I put on the blindfold.

    I was rewarded by the shift of the mattress. He was coming to me. Soon I knew I would come, too. His hands slid possessively up my calves, over my thighs. And damn him, stopped just before my place of need.

    What came next was a shadowy whirlwind of sensation. He pulled me to my back, flat against the mattress. I knew satisfaction was seconds away. Soon he would enter me. Soon I would have what I needed. But to my distress, he moved away.

    It was then that I was sure I’d heard the click of a lock. It jolted me to a sitting position, and I called out his name, fearful he was leaving. Certain that I’d done something wrong. Then relieved when his hand flattened on my stomach. I’d imagined the sound of the lock. I must have. But I couldn’t shake the subtle shift in the air then, the raw lust and menace consuming the room that didn’t feel like him. It was a thought easily forgotten when he settled heavy between my thighs, his strong hands lifting my arms over my head, his breath warm on my neck—his body heavy, perfect.

    Somehow, a silk tie wrapped around my wrists and my arms were tied to the bed frame. It never occurred to me that he could not have done this on his own. That he was on top of me, unable to manipulate my arms. But then, he was manipulating my body, my mind, and I was his willing victim.

    He lifted his body from mine, and I whimpered, unable to reach for him. Again silence. And the whisk of fabric. More strange sounds. Long seconds ticked by, and I remember the chill that snaked across my skin. The feeling of dread that had balled in my stomach.

    And then, the moment I know I will die remembering. The moment when the steel of a blade touched my lips. The moment that he promised there was pleasure in pain. The moment when the blade traveled along my skin with the proof he would be true to his words. And I knew then that I had been wrong. He was not dangerous. Nor was he chocolate. He was lethal, a drug, and I feared . . .

    A knock on my apartment door jolts me from the seductive words of the journal I’ve been reading to the point I darn near toss the notebook over my shoulder. Guiltily, I slam it shut and set it back on the simple oak coffee table where it had been left by my neighbor and close friend Ella Ferguson the night before. I hadn’t meant to read it. It was just . . . there. On my table. Absently, I’d opened it, and I’d been so shocked at what I found that I hadn’t believed it could really be my sweet, close friend Ella’s writing. So I’d kept reading. I couldn’t stop reading, and I don’t know why. It makes no sense. I, Sara McMillan, am a high school teacher, and I do not invade people’s privacy, nor do I enjoy this kind of reading. I’m still telling myself that as I reach the door, but I can’t ignore the burn low in my belly.

    I pause before greeting my visitor and rest my hands on my cheeks, certain they’re flaming red, hoping whoever is here will just go away. I promise myself if they do, I won’t read the journal again, but deep down, I know the temptation will be strong. Good Lord, I feel like Ella seemed to feel when living out the scene in the journal—like I am the one hanging on for one more titillating moment and then another. Clearly, twenty-eight-year-old women are not supposed to go eighteen months without sex. The worst part is that I’ve invaded the privacy of someone I care about.

    Another knock sounds, and I concede that, nope, my visitor is not going away. Inwardly, I shake myself and tug at the hem of the simple light blue dress I still wear from today’s final tenth-grade English class of the summer. I inhale and open the door to have a cool blast of San Francisco’s year-round chilly night air tease the loose strands of my long brunette hair that have fallen from the twist at my nape. Thankfully, it also cools my feverishly hot skin. What is wrong with me? How has a journal affected me this intensely?

    Without awaiting an invitation, Ella rushes past me in a whiff of vanilla-scented perfume and red bouncing curls.

    There it is, Ella says, snatching up her journal from the coffee table. I thought I’d left it here when I came by last night.

    I shut the door, certain my cheeks are flaming again with the knowledge that I now know more about Ella’s sex life than I should. I still don’t know what made me open that journal, what made me keep reading. What makes me, even now, want to read more.

    I hadn’t noticed, I say, wishing I could pull back the lie the instant it’s issued. I don’t like lies. I’ve known my share of people who’ve told them, and I know how damaging they can be. I really don’t like how easily this one slipped from my lips. This is Ella, after all, who in the past year as my neighbor has become my confidante, the younger sister I’d never had. Together we are the family neither of us has or, rather, neither of us wishes to claim. Uncomfortably, I ramble onward, a bad habit brought out by nerves, and guilt, apparently. Long day of classes, I add, and I had piles and piles of paperwork to finish up for the summer. Lucky you got to avoid that this year, though I had some great kids I enjoyed. I purse my lips and tell myself I’ve said enough, only to find I can’t help but continue. I only just got home a few minutes ago.

    Well, thank goodness you have some time off now, Ella says, lifting the journal. I brought this over last night when we’d planned to watch that chick flick together. I wanted to read you a few of the entries. But then David called, and you know how that went. Her lips tilted downward, guilt laden in her tone. I deserted you like a very bad friend.

    David being her hot doctor boyfriend. What David wanted from Ella, he got. Now, I know just how true that is. I study Ella a moment. With her dewy youthful skin, and dressed in faded jeans and a purple tee, she looks like one of my students rather than a twenty-five-year-old teacher herself. I was tired anyway, I assure her, but I’m worried she’s over her head with this man ten years her senior. I needed to get to bed to be ready for today’s classes.

    Well, they’re over now and yay for that. She indicates the journal. And I’m so glad to get this back before my date with David tonight. She wiggles an eyebrow. Foreplay. David is going to love this. This thing is scorching hot.

    I gape in utter disbelief. You read him your journal? I’d never have the courage to read a man such intimate personal thoughts—especially not about him. And it’s foreplay?

    Ella frowns. This isn’t my journal. Remember? I told you last night. It’s from the storage units I bought at that auction at the beginning of summer.

    Oh, I say, though I don’t remember Ella saying anything about the journal. In fact, had she, I’m 100 percent sure I’d remember. "That’s right. The storage auctions you’ve been attending since you got obsessed with that Storage Wars show. I still can’t believe people store their things and then default and let it go to the highest bidder."

    And yet they do, Ella says. And I’m not obsessed.

    I arch a brow.

    Okay, maybe I am, she concedes, but I’m going to make more than double what I would have teaching summer school. You should really consider going to the next auction with me. I’ve already turned around two of the three units I bought for big money. She holds up the journal. This came from the last unit I bought, and it’s the best yet. It has artwork I know is going to sell for big bucks. And so far I’ve found three journals that are absolutely spellbinding. My gosh, I can’t seem to stop reading them. This woman started out like you and me, and somehow got pulled into this dark passionate place that is terrifyingly exciting.

    She’s right, and I can feel that burn in my belly as I recall the words on those pages. I can almost imagine the soft, seductive voice of the woman whispering her story to me. I try to focus on what Ella is saying, but I’m wondering about that woman instead, wondering where she is, who she is.

    Oh my! Ella exclaims. You’re blushing. You read the journal, didn’t you?

    I blanch. What? I . . . Suddenly, I can’t talk. I am so not myself right now, and I sink helplessly into an overstuffed brown chair across from Ella, stuck in the trap of my earlier lie. I . . . yes. I read it.

    Ella claims a couch cushion, narrowing her green eyes on me. Did you think I wrote that stuff?

    I cast her a tentative look. Well . . .

    Whoa, she says, clearly taking my reply, or rather lack of reply, as confirmation. You thought . . . She shakes her head. I’m speechless. You couldn’t have read the good parts or there’s no way you would think she was me. But you’re sure blushing like you read the good parts.

    I read some parts that were, ah, pretty detailed.

    She snorts. And you assumed I wrote them. She shakes her head again. And here I thought you knew me. But heck, I so wish I could live up to that assessment for just one hot night. There is a mysterious eroticism to that woman’s life that’s just . . . She shivers. Haunting. It, she, affects me.

    In some small way it comforts me to know she is as affected by the words on those pages as I am, and I don’t know why. What in the world do I need comfort for? It isn’t logical. Nothing about my reaction to this unknown woman is logical.

    Once David and I finish with the journal, Ella continues, drawing me back into the conversation, he’s going to take pictures of a few intimate pages for potential buyers and we’re listing the journals on eBay. They’re going to bring in big money. I just know it.

    I gape, appalled at this idea. You can’t seriously intend on selling this woman’s personal thoughts on eBay?

    Heck yeah, I do, she says. Making money is the name of the game. Besides, for all we know, it’s fiction.

    Her words are cold, and she surprises me. This is not the Ella I know. We are talking about a woman’s private thoughts, Ella. Surely, you don’t want to profit off her pain.

    Her brows dip. What pain? It sounds like all pleasure to me.

    She lost everything she owns at auction. That isn’t pleasure.

    I’m guessing her rich man flew her off to some exotic location and she is living life in a grand way. Her voice turns somber. I have to think like that to do this, Sara. Please don’t make me feel guilty. This is money I need, and if I didn’t do this, some other buyer would have.

    I open my mouth to argue but relent. Ella is alone in this world, with no family aside from an alcoholic father who doesn’t know his own name most of the time, let alone hers. I know she feels she has to have money for emergencies. I know that feeling myself all too well. I, too, am alone. Mostly, but I don’t want to think about that right now.

    I’m sorry, I tell her, and I mean it. I know this is good for you. I’m happy it’s working out.

    Her lips curve slightly, and she nods her acceptance before she pushes to her feet. I stand with her and give her a hug. She smiles, her mood transforming into the instant sunshine I so often find she brings into my life. I love Ella. I really do.

    David and I are looking forward to a bit of that spellbinding action ourselves tonight, she announces mischievously. I have to run. She laughs and waves a few fingers at me. Enjoy your night. I know I will.

    I sink back into my chair and watch the door close.

    •   •   •

    The sound of pounding on my door once again takes me from bliss to panic. I sit up in the bed, disoriented and groggy, and eye the clock. Seven in the morning on my first day off from classes.

    Who the heck is pounding on my door? I grumble, throwing the blankets off me and sliding my feet into the pink fuzzy slippers one of my students gave me last Christmas. I grab my long pink robe that is not fuzzy, but does say PINK across the back. More knocking has begun.

    Sara, it’s me, Ella! I hear as I shuffle my way toward the living room. Hurry! Hurry!

    My heart flutters not only because Ella is clearly in some sort of panic but also because, unlike me, who doesn’t like to waste a second of any day, Ella doesn’t get up before noon on days she doesn’t have to. The instant I yank open the door, Ella flings her arms around me and announces, I’m eloping!

    Eloping?! I gasp, pulling back and tugging Ella inside, out of the chill of the early morning. She’s still wearing her clothes from the night before. What are you talking about? What’s happening?

    David proposed last night, she exclaims excitedly. I can hardly believe it. We’re flying to Paris this morning. She eyes her watch and squeals. In two hours.

    She shoves something into my hand. That has the key to my apartment. On the kitchen table, you’ll find the journal and the key to the storage unit. If it’s not cleared out in two weeks, it has to be rented, or it’s auctioned off yet again. So take it and sell the stuff. The money is yours. Or let it go. Either way, it doesn’t matter. She grins. Because I’m eloping to Paris, then honeymooning in Italy!

    Protectiveness fills me for Ella. I don’t want her to get hurt, and I’ve never even heard her say she loves David. You’ve known this man for only three months, sweetie. I’ve met him only once. He always, conveniently, got called away when we’d been planning to get together.

    I love him, Sara, she says, as if reading my mind. And he’s good to me. You know that.

    No, I don’t know that, but while I try to find the right way to say it, she is already reaching for the door. Ella—

    I’ll call you when I arrive in Paris, so keep your cell handy.

    Wait! I say, shackling her arm. How long will you be gone?

    Her eyes light up with excitement. A month. Can you believe it? A whole month in Italy. I’m living a dream. She hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek. Since we high school folks don’t go back until October, thanks to the longer school days, I’m going a full month! Can you believe it? I’ll never complain about our longer school days again. A whole month in Italy—I’m living a dream! I’ll call, and when we get back we’ll have a reception.

    Her eyes soften. You know I wanted you with me for this, don’t you? But David knew I had no family. He wanted to whisk me away so that it wouldn’t be painful. She pokes at the puckered spot that always appears between my brows when I frown. Stop making that face. It’ll be wrinkled when you get older. And I’m fine. I’m perfect, in fact.

    You better be, I say, attempting my best teacher voice, but my throat is too tight to do much more than croak out the warning. Call me as soon as you arrive so I know you’re safe, and I want pictures. Lots of pictures.

    Ella smiles brightly, Yes, Ms. McMillan. She turns and rushes away, giving me a last-second wave over her shoulder before she rounds the corner. She is gone, and I am fighting unexpected tears I don’t even understand.

    I am happy for Ella but worried for her, too. I feel . . . I’m not sure what I feel. Lost, maybe. My fingers curl around her keys, and I am suddenly aware that I have just inherited a storage unit and the journals I swore I wouldn’t read again.

    Two

    And then, the moment I know I will die remembering. The moment when the steel of a blade touched my lips. The moment that he promised there was pleasure in pain . . .

    Those words written in the journal replay in my head early the next evening, the same day of Ella’s rapid departure. They haunt me to the point I feel downright icy every time I think of them. They are why I’m here, standing inside a temperature-controlled storage unit the size of a small garage, that at some point I assume the journal writer leased. Thankfully, there is a dim light and the neighborhood is good. I stand here, unsure of what to look at first, uneasy about digging through a stranger’s things.

    The moment that he promised there was pleasure in pain.

    Unbidden, the words replay in my head again. I shiver, and not just because the journal is explicitly arousing. I shouldn’t be aroused. Not by painful pleasure and bondage. I refuse to be aroused. I am worried about this mysterious woman. Besides, I am my father’s daughter, just as my mother had been my father’s wife, which translated to his puppets who didn’t dare walk in the same shadows he did. My mother had escaped him in death, and I’d chosen to leave him out of my life since. Despite five years without him, I remain all too aware that the lingering effects of his heavy hand are far too present in my life.

    I grind my teeth at the memories. I have no idea how my mind has gone to places I try never to go. Forcefully, I refocus on the neatly stacked furniture and boxes lining the walls, as well as what looks like well-packaged artwork. A life left behind, forgotten. Who did that? Who left behind things that they’d clearly cared about enough to neatly pack and organize? I’m not buying the idea that some rich boyfriend had whisked this woman away to some exotic life. No one who hadn’t seen bad luck, or maybe even tragedy, did this. I’m not about to be a part of adding to this woman’s troubles by selling off her things. Not this woman, I corrected myself. Rebecca Mason is her name. That’s what the paperwork said, and as per the management they couldn’t give me her phone number and it’s disconnected anyway.

    I’m going to find a way to contact you and return your things, I whisper to the room, as though I’m speaking to Rebecca, and a chill races down my spine. I feel as if she is here, as if I’m talking to her . . . and it’s downright creepy. Somehow, it makes me more determined to find her.

    I sigh with grim realization at what my vow means. I have to invade her privacy and dig through her things to find a way to contact her, a way to return what was left of her life. If she’s alive, I think grimly, hugging myself.

    Stop it, I murmur, chiding myself. The grim reaper mentality isn’t me. I don’t even like horror movies. The world has enough real monsters without creating fictional monsters.

    There really could be a happy reason Rebecca left her life behind. Winning the lotto. There. Yes. There was a good reason to leave all your things behind. Unlikely, but still possible. Ten million to one or so, I imagine, but possible. So why does the idea do absolutely nothing to dismiss the eerie, hollow feeling of the room?

    Eager to get this over with, I drop my purse to the ground and run my hands down my soft faded jeans, scanning the items around me until my gaze catches on a box neatly labeled PERSONAL PAPERS. Seems a good place to find contact information, if I ever saw one.

    •   •   •

    Two hours later, I am sitting against a wall, thumbing through information I have no business seeing. School records, bills, legal paperwork that amounted to pennies of inheritance from the death of Rebecca’s mother and last living relative, three years before. I think of my own mother, of the woman who’d tried so hard to shelter me from my father but would never do anything to shelter herself. I squeeze my eyes shut, wondering if the pain of losing her will ever go away. If it will ever go away. She’d been my best friend, my closest confidante. I wonder if Rebecca was close to her mother, as I was to mine. If she’d hurt, as I did with my loss, as I still do.

    With effort, I refocus on the paperwork and realize I’m not going to find any family connections to reach Rebecca. But thankfully, the mail and a bunch of bank statements have, at least, given me her address, though I’m not overly certain it will be accurate.

    Feeling not much closer to finding Rebecca, I shove everything back in the box and stand up, feeling stiff and cramped in a way that defies my morning jogs.

    Try the dresser, comes a male voice from behind me.

    I yelp and whirl around to find a man wearing a staff shirt standing in the doorway. The hair on the back of my neck prickles; my nerve endings hum with warning. He is a handsome man in his midthirties—blond, clean-shaven, with short, spiky hair, but it’s the dark interest in his deep-set eyes that sets me on edge. The already small room seems to shrink and close in on me, that eerie feeling I’ve been unable to shake no longer hollow but focused on me, like an invisible weight on my shoulders and chest.

    Dresser? I manage to croak despite the dryness in my throat.

    Everyone has a secret bedroom drawer, he says. His voice lowers, takes on a husky quality. A place almost as personal as their soul.

    I stiffen, a new rush of discomfort slicing through me. He’s been in here. I knew it with

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