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The Summer I Turned Pretty
The Summer I Turned Pretty
The Summer I Turned Pretty
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The Summer I Turned Pretty

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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Now an Original Series on Prime Video!

Belly has an unforgettable summer in this stunning start to the Summer I Turned Pretty series from the New York Times bestselling author of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Jenny Han.


Some summers are just destined to be pretty.

Belly measures her life in summers. Everything good, everything magical happens between the months of June and August. Winters are simply a time to count the weeks until the next summer, a place away from the beach house, away from Susannah, and most importantly, away from Jeremiah and Conrad. They are the boys that Belly has known since her very first summer—they have been her brother figures, her crushes, and everything in between. But one summer, one wonderful and terrible summer, the more everything changes, the more it all ends up just the way it should have been all along.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateDec 21, 2010
ISBN9781416999171
Author

Jenny Han

Jenny Han is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before series, now Netflix movies. She is also the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling The Summer I Turned Pretty series, now streaming on Amazon Prime, as well as Shug, and Clara Lee and the Apple Pie Dream. She is the coauthor of the Burn for Burn trilogy, with Siobhan Vivian. Her books have been published in more than thirty languages. A former librarian, Jenny earned her MFA in creative writing at the New School. She lives in Brooklyn, New York.

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Rating: 4.235051546391753 out of 5 stars
4/5

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Such a good-easy read book! Can't way to read the rest of the series :)
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is the perfect book to read during the Summer time. Filled with romance, and the beach, this is truly one book of Summer Romance. I know I am a guy and sometimes the romance can be all to much for me, but this book was one I fell right into and couldn't stop until the end. Belly is a girl who is very unknowing of things and when heading to the beach, for what she thinks will just be like any other summer, she will see that she turned indeed "pretty." I don't know which guy I wish I could root for, because I will be going for one brother and than the other one comes out of no where and surprises me. However, by the end, I know who I would hope Belly would choose and I stick with that answer. This book is filled with happiness but sadness follows close in the shadows. The Summer I Turned Pretty is a book people can relate to when they grew up and even now when they grow up they can still relate to as well. Filled with the Summer bursting out of its pages, this book is a must-read for every summer. I can't wait to pick up the next book in the series, and i yuo haven't stumbled across this book yet, swing by your book store and pick up a copy to read. I give this book 5 souls!
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Halfway through the book and Belly, the main character, sounded really shallow. The other characters in the book are really two-dimensional as well. I might pick this up again, if only just to find out what happens in the end, but I'll put this on hold for now.Edit: Okay, I finished it after all. zthe end was a bit better, but didn't manage to redeem the book. Things tie up too easily amd there doesn't seem to ne any consequences of Belly's actions. Unrealistic and unsatisfying. I felt that this book had so much more potential.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Definitely not my typical fare, but I'm really glad I read this, and will look into the sequel.While the book starts out with the feeling of typical teenage romantic plight, it turns into a much deeper kind of sentimentality, but it doesn't forget to touch back on the initial relationship issues that Belly has.Han's first-person narrative is great. I wouldn't call it conversational, but that the reader has granted the narrator permission to just keep telling her story. I like that Belly very much sounds like her age while also not compromising her intelligence, concept of self-worth, or the fact that she still has a lot to learn. It's nice to get to experience her epiphanies alongside of her.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I was so taken with this book that the minute I finished it, I went out and bought the other two books in the trilogy.Bella has been going to the beach house every summer since before she was born, a perpetual tag along to her older brother and the two boys who share the house. This summer, everything changes.Bella is at that exact moment where you teeter between being a child and being an adult, and her tipping back and forth through this summer is so believable it is hard not to adore her. I love that this book draws her relationship not just with the boy she has had a crush on forever, but with her brother, her two mother figures, and with the people she half exists with during the rest of the year. But the crush is also drawn wonderfully.The boys in the story are less substantial, as we only see them through Bella's wish to be included. Just as she is excluded from their games, so we are from knowing them. It made me so sympathetic to Bella's wish to be part of the group. I'd give this to people looking for realistic family stories, Elizabeth Scott fans, gentle teen romance readers.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    15 yr old Belly spends the summer she turns 16 at the beach just like every other summer of her life, but this time things are very different. In love since chldhood with Conrad and best friends with his younger brother, Jeremiah, Belly lives for the summers she spends on Cousins Beach. First of trilogy.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book was fantastic ! When I finished the book, I actually felt a slight depression. I am trying to find another book by Jenny Han.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Every time I read this book, I am transported to my beach house in my mind. This book feels completely like the beach. I loved seeing Belly grow as a person and I loved the romance sparking between her and the boys she grew up with. Perfect and poignant.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    [Tuesday, January 24, 2012] Belly spends the summer she turns sixteen at the beach just like every other summer of her life, but this time things are very different.

    [Thursday, March 29, 2012] I began an hour or so ago, reached chapter 16 quickly, and I like Jeremiah more already, but to tell you the truth I don't like Belly. She's into two brothers, she's jealous all the time, and she is very judgmental. And I don't like people who don't like Jane Austen.

    [Saturday, March 31, 2012] *SPOILERS* I cried when everyone discovered Suzanne was dying. Saying goodbye is so hard. Though I knew it all along. But I didn't like the ending at all. I wished Belly would have picked Jeremiah. But she loves Conrad.

    I can't believe they didn't write the whole poem they recited in the pool in the end though, it was kind of a closure. And I didn't like how Belly treated Cam, he's a good guy.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book is amazing!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have always wanted to experience a summer away from home in a wonderful beach house with my family and cute guys, and this initially peeked my interest in this series. I really liked the setting of the house with a pool right on the beach, and I easily found myself deciding between Jeremiah and Conrad. :) The flashbacks were nice, but sometimes they were a little confusing. I would like to have seen the different voices used in this book like Han does in the other books in the summer series. One thing I did not like was that Belly seemed to only have one comeback, and that turned into some whining when dealing with the boys. I'm sure my students will enjoy this series.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Words can't describe how much I fell in love with this book, the blurb doesn't do this book any justice. I totally expected something and got something completely different, but I was absolutely delighted! This book had everything, it made me laugh, cry and had me hooked from the beginning. I loved how the book flipped between Belly's life, so you got to know the whole back story. I can't wait for "It's not summer without you" to find out what happens next
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was a very good book and I thought that it was full of drama and summer love. Well, unidentified summer love. What I thought was the most interesting part of the book was how neither of the boys could really tell how they felt about Belly.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Reviewed by Jennifer (Class of 2012)It's about a girl who spends her summers at a beach house with her mom, her mom's friend, and two boys. The book is about how she spends her summers from when she was little to when she's in high school. It's a really great book to read.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Isabel, or "Belly" as everyone calls her, is about to spend the summer at the beach house, where everything happens. But this summer is different. Belly's 16th summer is the summer everything changes. She, her mother, and her brother have spent every one for as long as she can remember at the beach house with her mom's best friend Suzannah and her two boys -- Conrad and Jeremiah. Belly's has been in love with Conrad for as long as she can remember. While The Summer I Turned Pretty is, in some ways, a love story between the two, it's more about Belly growing up. It's the summer she realizes life isn't always perfect, and it's the summer she begins to understand what real love, and real loss, are. Hann manages not to merely tell a story of summer romance. The decisions and challenges Belly faces manage to feel completely genuine (as do her reactions) without becoming angst-y. Teens will be able to relate to Belly's emotions and thoughts as she tries to navigate young adulthood. Although there is little in the way of "objectionable" content, the book is best suited to high school libraries and the teen department. Younger audiences may have trouble relating to the characters and understanding the situations presented.2010 ALA Best Books for Young Adults Selection
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I thought this book was very good. Although at some bits, it doesn't quite make sense (e.g. when she makes the chapters about her previous experiances at the summer house) it has a lot of feeling. This book is about romance with Belly, and complications with her family.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Belly lives for summers at the beach house. She's been in love with Conrad forever, but something is really off with him during this summer. Some chapters are memories of things that happened in the summers past that help trace the relationships of the mothers and kids that spend their time together. A great choice for summer reading. I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next in the sequel.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This book looks like a vacuous, quick, summer read - and it is. For the first chapter. Then it draws you in with excellent storytelling and convincing characters. I loved Belly, she's a great character who you want to know. The story flips back and forth between earlier summers and the present summer and that did throw me until I realised what was happening, but it only enhances the story. The device enriches the characters’ relationships as you can quickly see how they’ve bonded over so many summers together. The plot twist near the end is no big surprise to the reader, however how it affects Belly and everybody in the house is riveting reading, (I have to say -I did cry a bit).The book is a chameleon, it pretends to be a light fluffy read but it sneaks in issues like divorce, friendships, unrequited love, cancer and other darker issues. It’s beautiful to read, I recommend it to everyone who’s been a fifteen year old girl.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    From reading the synopsis to this book you can't help but think that this is a fluff read - but that was not the case.Belly looks forward to her summers. Ever since she can remember her summers are full of her favorite things. The beachhouse, her almost-aunt, Susannah, her mother and brother, the beach, the boardwalk and Susannah's boys - Jeremiah and Conrad. Summers mean they all get together and spend three glorious months together.And Belly is looking forward to her summer... not just because duh... it's summer, but also because she gets to see Jeremiah and Conrad... especially Conrad. Although they've grown up together, almost considered cousins, she shares a grand friendship with Jeremiah, but Conrad she has always loved. She can't help but want to see them, be with them... but something has changed this summer. Jeremiah continues to be the free spirit he has always been - always making jokes, cracking a smile and just having a fun time. But Conrad has changed since last summer. He quit the football team, he acts irritable, he smokes and just wants to be left alone in his room. This is the summer that, notwithstanding the changes, everything finally comes into place.Belly, although she comes off (for most of the story) as a shallow, self-centered and most often immature, young lady, really does a lot of personal growth and maturing throughout. Her struggles felt real and I think Ms. Han did a good job of capturing the emotions of a teen girl accurately. The writing was simple but it was precise and clear which I really like - nothing too convoluted to where I got lost. I did have some issues with the jumping in the chapters from past summers to the present summer, but it wasn't to hard to catch up.The Summer I Turned Pretty is carefree, romantic, and in the end, I found the story and its characters endearing. Plus, I love books where the story takes place at the beach, at a beach house, pier or boardwalk. Although the book's ending is a bit vague, it can be a stand-alone, but it has come to my attention that it is part of a trilogy - so I'm sure we'll be hearing more of Belly, Conrad and possibly another summer or two.This is the perfect book to read for the summer, but I would recommend you read it no matter what time of the year.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Everyone else goes throu the storyline of the book so I'm just going to say what I think and leave it at that.It did confuse me about the story skipping from summer to summer, and it took me about half the book to realize what was happening. But once I figured that all out, I did enjoy it. I would like to have had a clearer ending however. The reader is just to assume who the "he" that she meets up with in the middle of the night but it would have been nice to have some confirmation on who it is. Over all, yes I do believe that it is a good read. I read farther along a comment where someone said that it is not really a summer read thats its more a fall read to remember summer. I totally agree with that statement. Its all about Belly's summers but its her remembering summers most of all. I really do hope that there is a sequel, the deffinately left it open for one.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Very realistic take on a summer at the beach. 15 year old Belly has spent every summer at the beach with her mom and close childhood friends. However, now that they're growing up, their friendships are changing and becoming more complicated. Belly is a perfectly realized character. Annoying, selfish, and bordering on the line between kid and teen. When reading her thoughts and actions, I kept imagining myself when I was a teen. Han definitely understands the teen thought process.Although I found the ending to be rather cheesy, I still enjoyed the book.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Belly has spent every summer tagging along with her brother and their two best friends, brothers Conrad and Jeremiah. They go to the beach house each summer with their moms, also best friends. This summer, Belly is turning 16 and things have changed. Her brother isn't really there, and Belly has become more beautiful. This is a perfect summer romance, only you aren't exactly sure who the romance is with - Conrad, the older, more sensitive brother, Jeremiah, the younger, funnier brother, or the new guy, Cam. This book is great - with some unexpected twists and a perfect summer feel. The book switches back and forth between the present and other memorable summers, and frankly it made me jealous - I wanted to live that perfect summer life with Belly. A great book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Jenny Han, The Summer I turned Pretty 288pp. Simon & Schuster (2009)ISBN:9781416968238 $16.99 (Junior High/High School) 4 stars.Fifteen year old Belly goes with her mother and older brother to spend another summer at the beach with her mother's best friend and her two sons Jeremiah and Conrad. This has been a ritual for them since she was a little girl. She has always been the younger sister tagging along with the boys. This summer things change. Alliances, feelings, and perceptions are tested. Belly's summer is life changing. She learns a lot about herself and the people around her. Things aren't always as they seem. This book will draw you in from the beginning. You feel as if you are experiencing summer with all of its warmth and easiness. You will not want to put this book down. Han has written a book that will have mass appeal for your readers who enjoy books by Sara Dessen, Deb Caletti, and Susane Colasanti.Aida E. New York
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    First Posted on bellesbeautifulbooks.blospot.comI have been in a reading slump lately, and I was just not reading like I usually do. I was reading MASSIVE books, or school books, and it was just not very enjoyable. I had absolutely no motivation to read, and I was starting to miss it. To combat the reading slump, I decided to pick up the fluffiest contemporary that I knew I would like, so I picked up The Summer I Turned Pretty. Just from the title you knew this was going to be really cheesy, but that was exactly what I wanted, so no complaints. I really enjoyed Belly's character, and she was never overly annoying. Yes, she did think she was going to cry a lot, but I got over that. She did seem somewhat logical with her romances with the boys, and that is always a good thing. I never really had to groan to things she said, and she was pretty witty and snarky when it came down to it. I could really identify myself with her character, and I could [somewhat] understand the decisions she would make.The story was not what I was expecting, and I really thought that the romance would be completely with the two brothers, but instead Belly met a boy, and had a fling with him. I adored how the two brothers were so protective over her, and they acted like overprotective big brothers (even if they were more than that to Belly). I thought the interactions between Jeremiah and Belly were fantastic.On the romance, I thought it was very well done, and natural (no I love you on the first date). You could really see it develop as you would hope any high school romance would. Jenny Han really has a way with making romances feel real.Lets be honest here, I want belly to end up with Jeremiah because he was never an ass-clown to her, and Jeremiah was always there for her. A good romance starts with a better friendship.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Belly spends the better half of the year counting down the days until summer vacation. Fall, winter, spring, they don't matter. It's summer when she comes alive, when she can let loose and live freely. She's never missed a summer at the beach house and she never plans to. Spending the weeks lounging around by the pool with Jeremiah and Conrad, watching old movies with her mom and Susannah, going into town to get ice cream with Steven. All her best memories happen at the beach house, all her firsts, everything important starts and ends in Cousins. But this summer things start to change, people start to grow apart, lines are drawn in the sand and somehow the magic of summer starts to fade right before Belly's very eyes. Amazon - Barnes and Noble - Book Depository------------------------------------------I ended up liking this book a lot more than I thought I would. When I first started it I was a little put off by how immature Belly was and frankly how annoying her character was but the more I read the more the book as a whole outweighed my dislike of her. Yes she did have her moments and her tempter tantrums but I just had to keep reminding myself that she was only 15 and sadly some 15 year old's I know do act like that. What I did like about the book were the other characters, obviously Conrad and Jeremiah and even Steven and Belly's mom but it was Susannah that kept me reading. Susannah and her beach house are what made me fall in love with this book. The second I opened it up I would find myself smelling the faint scent of sunblock, chlorine and salt air. I found myself turning the pages and longing for sand between my toes and slight sunburn on my forehead. If you're looking for a fast, beach read that makes you nostalgic for your childhood summers I highly recommend picking this up. Until next time, Ginger
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    First love. Some say it’s different than any other love. Somehow purer. Somehow more powerful. But no one mentions how confusing it can be. In Jenny Han’s sophomore effort (after Shug) we meet Isabel the summer she’s turning sixteen, the summer boys look at her a little longer, the summer some of her dreams might come true. But who would have thought that dreams coming true would hurt so much? It turns out that love, no matter how much you’ve thought about it and how much you’ve planned for it -- love is just not that simple.Told in first person through the very believable voice of young “Belly,” The Summer I Turned Pretty honestly taps into the dreams, doubts and conflicts of discovering who you are, who you like, and how that might change over time – or even over the course of one summer. Belly, her brother and mother have spent every summer she can remember living at a beach house with her mom’s best friend and her two sons. Conrad is two years older, unattainable and unavailable, with a smirky smile that is irresistible. Jeremiah is the popular brother with a head full of curly hair and an openness that makes him the perfect friend. But this summer, the first summer Belly’s allowed to go to house parties and bonfire evenings, she’s exposed to other boys who are also attractive and might not treat Belly likes she’s a pesky little sister. How do you recognize real love and why can’t we accept it when it’s offered? Will Belly end up with her long-time dream? Will she settle for a comfortable but nerdy schoolmate? Will she accept the advances of a buddy when he confesses he’s looking for more than friendship? Just when these concerns seem to be life-shattering, a life-threatening illness put everything into perspective.In The Summer I Turned Pretty we have all the intrigue of who will end up with whom without any of the snarky and shallow trappings of other gossipy and cliquey books. Author Han has a great ability to have her characters analyze their feelings and attempt to understand their conflicted actions, while still creating action and propelling the plot forward, not to mention creating appealing, fully developed characters. You’ll feel the heat, the sand, and the heartache when you read The Summer I Turned Pretty.ARC- publisher says ages 12 up
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    For 15-year-old Belly, summer has always meant the beach house with her mother, her older brother, Steven, and family friends Susannah and her sons Conrad and Jeremiah. Although Belly is only younger by a couple of years, the boys have always made her feel left out in a way. This summer, though, Belly’s suddenly grown into her body, and she’s eager to believe that she might finally be accepted as an equal. Perhaps Conrad, the brooding brother whom she’s loved for almost half her life, will finally see her as more than a younger sister type.What Belly doesn’t realize is that the summer just might be more than about the boys. It could be about family, friendship, growing up… and love.The synopsis may make Belly seem shallow and the story flighty, but it is not. At all. With her sophomore novel, Jenny Han has done it again, writing a character-driven story that’s so poignant, you’ll wonder if she got her inspiration from real events or a Lifetime movie.Jenny Han makes writing seem effortless. She has a natural yet phenomenal way of making characters come to life through subtle but effective exchanges, musings, and flashbacks. Her talent for writing three-dimensional characters makes sure that the story does not fall into a predictable rut. Belly is a darling protagonist: full of spunk, bite, and an appropriate level of girliness and immaturity. All of the guys in Belly’s life are legitimately likeable, and the ending is both bittersweet and doubly touching as a result. There are no character clichés here.Belly’s narration switches constantly from flashbacks to present-day, which at times can get confusing, but is more useful in helping us understand the characters. With this format, we are given a slow-paced and thoughtful story—which could get boring, but is fortunately saved by the wonderful characters. I even found myself tearing up at the end, so deeply I had been unknowingly drawn into Belly’s enchanting summer world.THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY is an underrated book, and Jenny Han is an author who is all too often overlooked. But she has me convinced in her second book; I am now in awe of her character-writing abilities, and cannot wait to read more of her writing.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Belly had been in love with Conrad, her mother's friends son, for as long as she can remember. But Conrad has never paid any attention to her. The summer Belly turns 16, and becomes pretty, everything changes. Amidst her romantic turmoil, Belly deals with some family drama and loss. A great book about first loves, growing up, and learning to appreciate the people in your life.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is the best summer book and my favorite series.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Pleasantly surprised at how much I actually enjoyed this book. I just finished this book and still not totally sure what to say.

    It kept you really interested because of how well Jenny Han wrote the book. You get involved with the characters and she makes you love them..And even strongly dislike them sometimes. It was fun, sweet, sad, funny and makes you wish you had people in your life like some of them.

    I really did love Susannah the most if I had to choose between the Moms...And I loved Jeremiah he had such a sweet spirit about him. Conrad, even with all of his coldness, you still had to like him and root for him a little bit. Do I have a favorite between the two? Of course, Jeremiah!!...But by the end of the book, I had totally loved both of the young men.

    The book ending had a perfect ending as far as cliff hangers go. I had ordered the other two books when I was barely halfway through this one. That's how much I enjoyed it. I can't wait to see what happens between them all.

    Will I get to them both as soon as I get them in the mail? Probably not. I still have other books I will try to get to before I finish them..But I might have to push them up sooner than expected. Usually, I am not one to like to read series back to back because I tend to get bored with the books...It's rare I do it that way..(I have a few times)

    I think, the series as a whole, may be one of my favorite series once I finish them all if her writing remains as wonderful as this one. Sometimes, when I get this pleasantly surprised by books, I sometimes tend not to like the others in the series, but sometimes, I have been surprised...And I hope that this is one of those cases! :-)

Book preview

The Summer I Turned Pretty - Jenny Han

chapter one

We’d been driving for about seven thousand years. Or at least that’s how it felt. My brother, Steven, drove slower than our Granna. I sat next to him in the passenger seat with my feet up on the dashboard. Meanwhile, my mother was passed out in the backseat. Even when she slept, she looked alert, like at any second she could wake up and direct traffic.

Go faster, I urged Steven, poking him in the shoulder. Let’s pass that kid on the bike.

Steven shrugged me off. Never touch the driver, he said. And take your dirty feet off my dashboard.

I wiggled my toes back and forth. They looked pretty clean to me. It’s not your dashboard. It’s gonna be my car soon, you know.

If you ever get your license, he scoffed. People like you shouldn’t even be allowed to drive.

Hey, look, I said, pointing out the window. That guy in a wheelchair just lapped us!

Steven ignored me, and so I started to fiddle with the radio. One of my favorite things about going to the beach was the radio stations. I was as familiar with them as I was with the ones back home, and listening to Q94 made me just really know inside that I was there, at the beach.

I found my favorite station, the one that played everything from pop to oldies to hip-hop. Tom Petty was singing Free Fallin’. I sang right along with him. She’s a good girl, crazy ’bout Elvis. Loves horses and her boyfriend too.

Steven reached over to switch stations, and I slapped his hand away. Belly, your voice makes me want to run this car into the ocean. He pretended to swerve right.

I sang even louder, which woke up my mother, and she started to sing too. We both had terrible voices, and Steven shook his head in his disgusted Steven way. He hated being outnumbered. It was what bothered him most about our parents being divorced, being the lone guy, without our dad to take his side.

We drove through town slowly, and even though I’d just teased Steven about it, I didn’t really mind. I loved this drive, this moment. Seeing the town again, Jimmy’s Crab Shack, the Putt Putt, all the surf shops. It was like coming home after you’d been gone a long, long time. It held a million promises of summer and of what just might be.

As we got closer and closer to the house, I could feel that familiar flutter in my chest. We were almost there.

I rolled down the window and took it all in. The air tasted just the same, smelled just the same. The wind making my hair feel sticky, the salty sea breeze, all of it felt just right. Like it had been waiting for me to get there.

Steven elbowed me. Are you thinking about Conrad? he asked mockingly.

For once the answer was no. No, I snapped.

My mother stuck her head in between our two seats. Belly, do you still like Conrad? From the looks of things last summer, I thought there might be something between you and Jeremiah.

WHAT? You and Jeremiah? Steven looked sickened. What happened with you and Jeremiah?

Nothing, I told them both. I could feel the flush rising up from my chest. I wished I had a tan already to cover it up. Mom, just because two people are good friends, it doesn’t mean there’s anything going on. Please never bring that up again.

My mother leaned back into the backseat. Done, she said. Her voice had that note of finality that I knew Steven wouldn’t be able to break through.

Because he was Steven, he tried anyway. What happened with you and Jeremiah? You can’t say something like that and not explain.

Get over it, I told him. Telling Steven anything would only give him ammunition to make fun of me. And anyway, there was nothing to tell. There had never been anything to tell, not really.

Conrad and Jeremiah were Beck’s boys. Beck was Susannah Fisher, formerly Susannah Beck. My mother was the only one who called her Beck. They’d known each other since they were nine—blood sisters, they called each other. And they had the scars to prove it—identical marks on their wrists that looked like hearts.

Susannah told me that when I was born, she knew I was destined for one of her boys. She said it was fate. My mother, who didn’t normally go in for that kind of thing, said it would be perfect, as long as I’d had at least a few loves before I settled down. Actually, she said lovers, but that word made me cringe. Susannah put her hands on my cheeks and said, Belly, you have my unequivocal blessing. I’d hate to lose my boys to anyone else.

We’d been going to Susannah’s beach house in Cousins Beach every summer since I was a baby, since before I was born even. For me, Cousins was less about the town and more about the house. The house was my world. We had our own stretch of beach, all to ourselves. The summer house was made up of lots of things. The wraparound porch we used to run around on, jugs of sun tea, the swimming pool at night—but the boys, the boys most of all.

I always wondered what the boys looked like in December. I tried to picture them in cranberry-colored scarves and turtleneck sweaters, rosy-cheeked and standing beside a Christmas tree, but the image always seemed false. I did not know the winter Jeremiah or the winter Conrad, and I was jealous of everyone who did. I got flip-flops and sunburned noses and swim trunks and sand. But what about those New England girls who had snowball fights with them in the woods? The ones who snuggled up to them while they waited for the car to heat up, the ones they gave their coats to when it was chilly outside. Well, Jeremiah, maybe. Not Conrad. Conrad would never; it wasn’t his style. Either way, it didn’t seem fair.

I’d sit next to the radiator in history class and wonder what they were doing, if they were warming their feet along the bottom of a radiator somewhere too. Counting the days until summer again. For me, it was almost like winter didn’t count. Summer was what mattered. My whole life was measured in summers. Like I don’t really begin living until June, until I’m at that beach, in that house.

Conrad was the older one, by a year and a half. He was dark, dark, dark. Completely unattainable, unavailable. He had a smirky kind of mouth, and I always found myself staring at it. Smirky mouths make you want to kiss them, to smooth them out and kiss the smirkiness away. Or maybe not away… but you want to control it somehow. Make it yours. It was exactly what I wanted to do with Conrad. Make him mine.

Jeremiah, though—he was my friend. He was nice to me. He was the kind of boy who still hugged his mother, still wanted to hold her hand even when he was technically too old for it. He wasn’t embarrassed either. Jeremiah Fisher was too busy having fun to ever be embarrassed.

I bet Jeremiah was more popular than Conrad at school. I bet the girls liked him better. I bet that if it weren’t for football, Conrad wouldn’t be some big deal. He would just be quiet, moody Conrad, not a football god. And I liked that. I liked that Conrad preferred to be alone, playing his guitar. Like he was above all the stupid high school stuff. I liked to think that if Conrad went to my school, he wouldn’t play football, he’d be on the lit mag, and he’d notice someone like me.


When we finally pulled up to the house, Jeremiah and Conrad were sitting out on the front porch. I leaned over Steven and honked the horn twice, which in our summer language meant, Come help with the bags, stat.

Conrad was eighteen now. He’d just had a birthday. He was taller than last summer, if you can believe it. His hair was cut short around his ears and was as dark as ever. Unlike Jeremiah’s, whose hair had gotten longer, so he looked a little shaggy but in a good way—like a 1970s tennis player. When he was younger, it was curly yellow, almost platinum in the summer. Jeremiah hated his curls. For a while, Conrad had him convinced that crusts made your hair curly, so Jeremiah had stopped eating sandwich crusts, and Conrad would polish them off. As Jeremiah got older, though, his hair was less and less curly and more wavy. I missed his curls. Susannah called him her little angel, and he used to look like one, with his rosy cheeks and yellow curls. He still had the rosy cheeks.

Jeremiah made a megaphone with his hands and yelled, Steve-o!

I sat in the car and watched Steven amble up to them and hug the way guys do. The air smelled salty and wet, like it might rain seawater any second. I pretended to be tying the laces on my sneakers, but really I just wanted a moment to look at them, at the house for a little while, in private. The house was large and gray and white, and it looked like most every other house on the road, but better. It looked just the way I thought a beach house should look. It looked like home.

My mother got out of the car then too. Hey, boys. Where’s your mother? she called out.

Hey, Laurel. She’s taking a nap, Jeremiah called back. Usually she came flying out of the house the second our car pulled up.

My mother walked over to them in about three strides, and she hugged them both, tightly. My mother’s hug was as firm and solid as her handshake. She disappeared into the house with her sunglasses perched on the top of her head.

I got out of the car and slung my bag over my shoulder. They didn’t even notice me walk up at first. But then they did. They really did. Conrad gave me a quick glance-over the way boys do at the mall. He had never looked at me like that before in my whole life. Not once. I could feel my flush from the car return. Jeremiah, on the other hand, did a double take. He looked at me like he didn’t even recognize me. All of this happened in the span of about three seconds, but it felt much, much longer.

Conrad hugged me first, but a faraway kind of hug, careful not to get too close. He’d just gotten a haircut, and the skin around the nape of his neck looked pink and new, like a baby’s. He smelled like the ocean. He smelled like Conrad. I liked you better with glasses, he said, his lips close to my ear.

That stung. I shoved him away and said, Well, too bad. My contacts are here to stay.

He smiled at me, and that smile—he just gets in. His smile did it every time. I think you got a few new ones, he said, tapping me on the nose. He knew how self-conscious I was about my freckles and he still teased me every time.

Then Jeremiah grabbed me next, and he almost lifted me into the air. Belly Button’s all growed up, he crowed.

I laughed. Put me down, I told him. You smell like BO.

Jeremiah laughed loudly. Same old Belly, he said, but he was staring at me like he wasn’t quite sure who I was. He cocked his head and said, Something looks different about you, Belly.

I braced myself for the punch line. What? I got contacts. I wasn’t completely used to myself without glasses either. My best friend Taylor had been trying to convince me to get contacts since the sixth grade, and I’d finally listened.

He smiled. It’s not that. You just look different.

I went back to the car then, and the boys followed me. We unloaded the car quickly, and as soon as we were done, I picked up my suitcase and my book bag and headed straight for my old bedroom. My room was Susannah’s from when she was a child. It had faded calico wallpaper and a white bedroom set. There was a music box I loved. When you opened it, there was a twirling ballerina that danced to the theme song from Romeo and Juliet, the old-timey version. I kept my jewelry in it. Everything about my room was old and faded, but I loved that about it. It felt like there might be secrets in the walls, in the four-poster bed, especially in that music box.

Seeing Conrad again, having him look at me that way, I felt like I needed a second to breathe. I grabbed the stuffed polar bear on my dresser and hugged him close to my chest—his name was Junior Mint, Junior for short. I sat down with Junior on my twin bed. My heart was beating so loudly I could hear it. Everything was the same but not. They had looked at me like I was a real girl, not just somebody’s little sister.

chapter two

AGE 12

The first time I ever had my heart broken was at this house. I was twelve.

It was one of those really rare nights when the boys weren’t all together—Steven and Jeremiah went on an overnight fishing trip with some boys they’d met at the arcade. Conrad said he didn’t feel like going, and of course I wasn’t invited, so it was just me and him.

Well, not together, but in the same house.

I was reading a romance novel in my room with my feet on the wall when Conrad walked by. He stopped and said, Belly, what are you doing tonight?

I folded the cover of my book over quickly. Nothing, I said. I tried to keep my voice even, not too excited or eager. I had left my door open on purpose, hoping he’d stop by.

Want to go to the boardwalk with me? he asked. He sounded casual, almost too casual.

This was the moment I had been waiting for. This was it. I was finally old enough. Some part of me knew it too, it was ready. I glanced over at him, just as casual as he’d been. Maybe. I have been craving a caramel apple.

I’ll buy one for you, he offered. Just hurry up and put some clothes on and we’ll go. Our moms are going to the movies; they’ll drop us off on the way.

I sat up and said, Okay.

As soon as Conrad left, I closed my door and ran over to my mirror. I took my hair out of its braids and brushed it. It was long that summer, almost to my waist. Then I changed out of my bathing suit and put on white shorts and my favorite gray shirt. My dad said it matched my eyes. I smeared some strawberry frosting lip gloss on my lips and tucked the tube into my pocket, for later. In case I needed to reapply.

In the car Susannah kept smiling at me in the rearview mirror. I gave her a look like, Quit, please—but I wanted to smile back. Conrad wasn’t paying attention anyway. He was looking out the window the whole ride there.

Have fun, kids, said Susannah, winking at me as I closed my door.

Conrad bought me a caramel apple first. He bought himself a soda, but that was it—usually he ate at least an apple or two, or a funnel cake. He seemed nervous, which made me feel less nervous.

As we walked down the boardwalk, I let my arm hang loose—in case. But he didn’t reach for it. It was one of those perfect summer nights, the kind where there’s a cool breeze and not one drop of rain. There would be rain tomorrow, but that night there were cool breezes and that was it.

I said, Let’s sit down so I can eat my apple, so we did. We sat on a bench that faced the beach.

I bit into my apple, carefully; I was worried I might get caramel all stuck in my teeth, and then how would he kiss me?

He sipped his Coke noisily, and then glanced down at his watch. When you finish that, let’s go to the ringtoss.

He wanted to win me a stuffed animal! I already knew which one I’d pick too—the polar bear with wire-frame glasses and a scarf. I’d had my eye on it all summer. I could already picture myself showing it off to Taylor. Oh, that? Conrad Fisher won it for me.

I wolfed down the rest of my apple in about two bites. ’Kay, I said, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Let’s go.

Conrad walked straight over to the ringtoss, and I had to walk superquick to keep up. As usual, he wasn’t talking much, so I talked even more to make up for it. I think when we get back, my mom might finally get cable. Steven and my dad and I have been trying to convince her for forever. She claims to be so against TV, but then she watches movies on A&E, like, the whole time we’re here. It’s so hypocritical, I said, and my voice trailed off when I saw that Conrad wasn’t even listening. He was watching the girl who worked the ringtoss.

She looked about fourteen or fifteen. The first thing I noticed about her was her shorts. They were canary yellow, and they were really, really short. The exact same kind of shorts that the boys had made fun of me for wearing two days before. I felt so good about buying those shorts with Susannah, and then the boys had laughed at me for it. The shorts looked a whole lot better on her.

Her legs were skinny and freckled, and so were her arms. Everything about her was skinny, even her lips. Her hair was long and wavy. It was red, but it was so light it was almost peach. I think it might have been the prettiest hair I’d ever seen. She had it pulled over to the side, and it was so long that she had to keep flicking it away as she handed people rings.

Conrad had come to the boardwalk for her. He’d brought me because he hadn’t wanted to come alone and he hadn’t wanted Steven and Jeremiah to give him a hard time. That was it. That was the whole reason. I could see it all in the way he looked at her, the way he almost seemed to hold his breath.

Do you know her? I asked.

He looked startled, like he’d forgotten I was there. Her? No, not really.

I bit my lip. Well, do you want to?

Do I want to what? Conrad was confused, which was annoying.

Do you want to know her? I asked impatiently.

I guess.

I grabbed him by his shirt sleeve and walked right up to the booth. The girl smiled at us, and I smiled back, but it was just for show. I was playing a part. How many rings? she asked. She had braces, but on her they looked interesting, like teeth jewelry and not like orthodontics.

We’ll take three, I told her. I like your shorts.

Thanks, she said.

Conrad cleared his throat. They’re nice.

I thought you said they were too short when I wore the exact same pair two days ago. I turned to the girl and said, Conrad is so overprotective. Do you have a big brother?

She laughed. No. To Conrad she said, You think they’re too short?

He blushed. I’d never seen him blush before, not in the whole time I’d known him. I

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