Get in Control! Feel Emotions, Choose Behavior
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About this ebook
Our behavior is chosen by how we interpret the emotion of the situation. It is this action parents worry about most -- whether their own behavior or their child’s. “Get in Control!” helps parents keep expectations reasonable, reduce annoying behavior and handle sibling rivalry. Our tips on anger management benefit parents as well as children. Feelings are natural responses to emotion. Let’s take control of our responses to that emotion. Get in Control! is the latest book from the “Single Parent Wisdom” series. The series provides easy-to-read tips for parents and their children gathered from single parents who have already raised their family, plus tips from experts in behavior, parenting, psychology, communication, and more.
Julie Prescott
Julie has been writing her thoughts and fancies since she was a teen. "It is a marvelous way to empty your brain, for the moment," Prescott relays.When she became a single parent at the age of 27, Prescott knew there had to be help available, besides Dr. Spock's book. She didn't start writing the Single Parent Wisdom series until her three children and two step children were adults. She found looking back was the way to help others. She could see what worked and what didn't. What she worried and fretted about when they were young that didn't need so much attention. Prescott asked others to help answer questions she had when the children were young, but now the children were grown. Over 100 former single parents with young children who were now adults, answered her questions and the series: Single Parent Wisdom: If only I knew then what I know now...
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Get in Control! Feel Emotions, Choose Behavior - Julie Prescott
Get in Control! Feel Emotions, Choose Behavior
by Julie Prescott
Smashwords Edition
Wynot Publications, Corning, Iowa
Copyright 2011 Wynot Publications
Soon, more books by Julie Prescott in the Single Parent Wisdom series will be available at Smashwords.com. Check back, often at my author’s page.
This book is available in print at most online retailers.
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Table of Contents
Introduction
Get in Control!
Recognize your Parenting Style
Who is in Control?
Manage your Emotions
Identify Annoying Behavior
Sibling Rivalry -- Does it ever stop?
Recognize Disobedient Behavior
Label Aggressive Behavior
Anger management tips
Extinguish Defiant Behavior
Appendix A: Consequences to Apply
Appendix B: Time-Outs
Appendix C: House Rules
Disclaimers
Index
Bibliography and Resources
Introduction
Creater of the first video-based parenting education program, Active Parenting, Michael Popkin explains the Think--Feel--Do Cycle: Problems trigger thoughts, often extreme thoughts, that lead to feelings then turn to action.
It is the action parents worry about. Get in Control! has tips for parents and children to understand what they are feeling and how they can choose positive behavior instead of misbehavior to express those feelings. Resources are provided to lead you to more concise help.
I was a single parent for 11 years. Although my three children and two step children are now adults, I still remember the questions I had when they were younger. Interviewing parents like me -- single parents when their children were young, but now their children are grown -- together, we find the answers. From our experiences we have learned when to listen to the experts and when to realize we actually do know best. We know when to let the matter slide and when to seek help. We discovered what works and what does not and how difficult it is to make all of the decisions and handle all of the responsibility. We are wiser. We are your SPWisdom support group.
Key points made by our solo parents:
Be Consistent
Be consistent about the BIG problems. Teach the values that are important to you. Consistency provides stability and structure that your children need. Have faith in your judgment. When you are in doubt, there are books for every subject or problem area, workshops, and people to talk with about parenting choices.
-- You will naturally be inconsistent about the little stuff, depending on how much energy you have that day.
Be Patient & Loving
Your child needs to know that you love her now and forever. Everyday, tell and show your child that she is important in your life.
Time is Short
-- Choose your battles. Not all fights are worth the outcome.
-- Be proactive. Take charge of your life. Take the steps to control what happens to your family.
-- Do your best.
-- Your child will be an adult before you know it.
Be Age-Appropriate with your Child
Expecting a child to handle challenges beyond her ability may frustrate, scare, upset, confuse, or harm her. As the parent or guardian, you need to be aware of what the child can handle at her current physical, social, emotional, and intellectual level.
Many comments in this book are not designated for a certain age. You will need to decide when a suggestion or tip is age-appropriate to apply to your child. Some advice is meant for preschoolers but not for teens, and vice versa.
For a better understanding of what to expect at what age, visit the Child Development page at the Single Parent Wisdom website http://www.singleparentwisdom.com/Child_Development.html.
Reduce the Chaos
Don’t accept chaos as a natural part of your life. Change something. Aim for a calm household. Have structure in your days. Life gets better with less chaos.
Be a Role Model
Every now and then you will be reminded that you are your child’s number one role model. She watches everything you do and say. Make her proud!
Live in the Present -- Plan for the Future
"If we are ever to enjoy life,
now is the time,
not tomorrow or next year.
Today should always be our most wonderful day."
-- Thomas Dreier (1884-1976) American writer
Our children don’t relate to our past:
-- A dysfunctional relationship with our own parents
-- Dissatisfaction with goals we set when young that have not been achieved
-- Divorce or separation, lack of a parent in the home
-- Lack