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    Bathroom Etiquette and Other Political Strategy
    Bathroom Etiquette and Other Political Strategy
    Bathroom Etiquette and Other Political Strategy
    Ebook41 pages31 minutes

    Bathroom Etiquette and Other Political Strategy

    By J.S. Williams

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    About this ebook

    Humorist J.S. Williams takes another swing at the collective chin of the American Political System. Do bathroom habits and politics go together? Absolutely. Where do you think political strategy was invented? On the can, that's where. Tag along as Williams takes you down the lewdest, most irreverent path of self-righteousness to ever darken the door of Capital Hill. Only a completely fabricated, rare glimpse into the private lives of the most powerful politicians in the United States can soothe a humorless life. Learn how the Lint Bunny Rabbit could save your life. Hear about the smelliest government intervention in the history of the armed forces. You'll laugh, you'll laugh some more, and you'll cry from laughing. If bathroom reading is what you want, what you need, and what you gotta have, Bathroom Etiquette and other Political Strategy is where it's at.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJ.S. Williams
    Release dateJan 17, 2014
    ISBN9781311306548
    Bathroom Etiquette and Other Political Strategy

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      Book preview

      Bathroom Etiquette and Other Political Strategy - J.S. Williams

      Bathroom Etiquette and other American Political Strategy

      by J.S. Williams

      Copyright 2014 J.S. Williams

      Smashwords Edition

      Cover art by Amanda Leibold a.barhorstdesign@yahoo.com

      Ebook Formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      1. Mr. and Mrs. Politician

      2. Slick Willy

      3. The Toilet and Political Posturing

      4. Capitol Hill

      5. The White House Commode

      6. The Supreme Porcelain Court

      7. Naval Observatory: The Lint Conspiracy

      8. Rectal Awareness and Your Environment

      9. Over-reaction and Political Blue Water

      10. Crapper Engineering

      Introduction

      To compare and contrast government and bathroom habit is like trying to reconcile absolute rubbish with good old common sense. Although, there isn't much contrast. They don't go together but you can easily unite them in a disgusting, and lewd analogy...much like the way government operates. In an effort to stay true to the purpose of this book, I will discuss bathroom etiquette and technique. I will also identify the tastiest tidbits of American Politics and soil the good reputation on which it is based. Namely because I'm juvenile and I find it funny. This book is short and densely packed with disgusting humor so buckle up. Let us unravel this mystery of bathroom etiquette and political strategy like a double ply toilet paper roll. When I think about Washington D.C., the only thing that comes to mind is white. There is entirely too much white in that town. We have the White House. Capitol Hill is white.

      By Jove, Monty, isn't that a capital hill?

      Most of the monuments are white. That is, with a few token bronze statues tossed into the mix. Nice of the designers to throw in some diversity, don't you think? We can clearly see how fair and equitable the American Political System has been. If the color white is associated with virtue, and the state of politics today is considered virtuous, then I submit a different take on all the white. Do you know what else is white? Toilets.

      Toilets, urinals, and sinks are white. Generally, toilet paper is white unless you prefer the ultra scented, fluffy flower, patterned junk that makes your ass break out. Virtue is colored white but so is every paper, cloth, or sanitary napkin designed to soak up bodily secretion. Maxipads, tampons, Kleenex, lactation pads, adult diapers, infant diapers, panty liners, tighty whities, cotton balls, ear swabs, makeup applicators, lab coats, scrubs, wound dressings, and the ole Granny Panties are all white. Your Granny Panties are Swiss cheese and exhausted from wearing them every Friday night,

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