Granddad Funny
By Maggie Speak
()
About this ebook
jake, brains and scrapper, three nearly ten year olds, lived their daily life within the constraints of wartime conditions - the bombing, the gasmasks, the shelters, the sweet rationing. Still, the "gang", plus scrapper's little sister, sally, enjoyed life. They collected shrapnel the morning after the air raids, they concocted sweets substitutes to chew on the way back from school, they held meetings in brains' underground air raid shelter, and had the occasional battle with olly stott's rival gang. jake's granddad was a bit if a nuisance, always hanging around them, and behaving strangely, to jake's embarrassment. granddad had been in the first world war, had been sent with his regiment to russia, and had an unexpected meeting with a refugee russian countess, who gave him a precious object to keep. This he did, in secret, for over twenty years before telling the story to jake. jake was overwhelmed, and his consequent actions, led to the loss of the object. The gang, reluctantly aided by olly stott, recovered it, and the unexpected visit to their street by a foreigner led to a happy end.
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Granddad Funny - Maggie Speak
GRANDDAD FUNNY
by
Maggie Speak
Published by Margaret Holden
Copyright 2012 Margaret Holden
***~~~***
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GRANDDAD FUNNY
Chapter One
Look out, it’s Jakey’s Granddad!
Jake Finney stopped dead, just as he was about to score in their game of Kick the Can. Brains Brown ran up and launched a mighty kick that made his glasses fly off, and sent the can flying into the bushes. The Wreck, where they were playing, was at the top of the street. It was just a bit of waste ground – not like a proper Rec. with swings and things, so they called it the Wreck with a capital W - Brains’ idea. It was a bit soggy underfoot, and the bushes were dripping. Brains, running after the can, got soaked.
Jakey, man, you could’ve scored!
Scrapper Smith stamped on Jake’s jacket, which was being used as the left goalpost. He had a temper, had Scrapper, but it never lasted too long. He and Jake had, together with Brains, been best pals since they first started school. They had their quarrels, of course, and any other time, if his muddy boot had left a great splodge on the Jake’s jacket, there would have been a set-to. Jake knew his Mam would be angry when she saw the mess, but he had other things to think about at the moment. Scrapper hadn’t finished moaning. It’s bad enough having to look after our little’un every day, spoiling our games, without having your Granddad coming and interfering.
He put on his fierce look. His boast was that in a scrap he didn’t stop until he drew blood. (Jake had never actually seen this happen. In fact he’d never seen him in a really fierce scrap at all.)
Scrapper’s kid sister, Sally, launched a kick at her brother, I’m not a little‘un, I’m seven and a bit. Don’t like your stupid games, anyway. I wanted to go and play with MY friends, but Mam wouldn’t let me. Says I’ve got to stay with you. She’ll be home soon, anyway, and I’m glad.
Scrapper’s sister, Sally, was usually with them more often than not, because he had to look after her until their Mam came back from work at the Factory. War Work,
Scrapper was fond of boasting, and when they asked what she did, he put a finger to his lips and said Secret! To do with bombs. Very dangerous!
Actually, the Factory made the boxes to put the bombs in that the soldiers took to the trenches. There was no risk of any of the workers getting blown up, but it was important work all the same. Sally was a bit of a nuisance, but she made the numbers even for games, and she was quite good as a lookout for The Gang sometimes. Jake’s Mam called them the Terrible Trio, but they preferred The Gang, even though there were only three of them – Sally didn’t count.
Brains Brown, who wore glasses, and always put his hand up first in class, fancied himself as a bit of an arbitrator. He’d read that word in one of his books, and he always looked up words he didn’t know. He never spoke in haste, always having a good think first. Now he said, Granddad Finney is a bit different, you must admit. He doesn’t do, well… sort of old men things.
Wish he did, instead of hanging round us!
growled Scrapper.
Granddad Finney - Granddad Funny,
giggled Sally.
Shut up, pig face. Who are you calling funny!
Jake shouted. She wasn’t really a pig face - in fact she was quite pretty in a dolly sort of way, all black ringlets that she shook all the time, and big blue eyes, but it didn’t do to let her know it.
You call my sister names, and you’ll get it! And this time I won’t stop - the blood will flow!
Scrapper didn’t mind what he said to his sister, that was a big brother’s right, but anybody else . . .What trouble girls caused, stupid creatures. Jake put up a fist ready for a scrap, but his heart wasn’t in it. He was watching Granddad, who had just spotted them. Oh no, please don’t do it, Granddad. Not the Cossack leap. But he did. He leapt high into the air, clipped one foot against the other, and landed, spreading his arms out to balance himself. He was wearing the Siren Suit that Jake’s Mm had made for him from an army blanket. All in one piece, with a zip right down the front, it was easy to get into over his pyjamas when the siren went and they had to move quickly. Trouble was, he’d taken such a liking to it that he wore it all the time. If it’s good enough for Mr. Churchill
he would say.
What‘s he do that for?
giggled Sally.
To show off.
muttered Scrapper.
To make us laugh and be his friends.
Brains shook his head. Funny peculiar, I would say, not funny ha-ha. Definitely funny peculiar, your Granddad.
Swallowed the dictionary, have you?
snarled Jake. Bet you can’t even spell peculiar.
P E…
You said pee – that’s rude,
snorted Sally. She really was a pain. Why couldn’t they just lose her?
Well, you’ve got to agree, he isn’t your ordinary sort of Granddad. They want to go down the pub with their mates, or play bowls. Don’t want to hang around with kids.
It looked as if Granddad was all set to do another leap, when old Ma Savage appeared on her doorstep and grabbed his arm. From the way she was waving her fist in the air, about a foot from Granddad’s nose, it seemed that she was a bit annoyed about something. She was grey-haired and sharp nosed and her mouth was always turned down.
Bet she’s telling him about our Knockie Nine Doors,
said Brains. She’s got no sense of humour.
Knockie Nine Doors was one of their