The Vexars

The Vexars

by B. Joseph Huffman

Copyright 2012 B. Joseph Huffman

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Table of Contents:

Chapter One - The Beginning

Chapter Two - Blackmale Part One

Chapter Three - Blackmale Part Two

Chapter Four – The Search For The Porsha Girls Part One

Chapter Five – The Search For The Porsha Girls Part Two

Chapter Six – Andy Part One

Chapter Seven – Andy Part Two

Chapter Eight – Previously Framed

Chapter Nine – Andy's Taking Over The Universe

Chapter Ten – Christina

Chapter Eleven – Kidnap Part One

Chapter Twelve – Kidnap Part Two

Chapter Thirteen – Interplanetary War: Electrophia

Chapter Fourteen – Torn Apart Part One

Chapter Fifteen – Torn Apart Part Two

Chapter Sixteen – Double Encounter

Chapter Seventeen – Altovere

Chapter Eighteen – Dr. Wish Part One

Chapter Nineteen – Dr. Wish Part Two

Chapter Twenty – Litz Team Massacre

Chapter Twenty-One – The Veritians

Chapter Twenty-Two – Eliminating The Mob Part One

Chapter Twenty-Three – Eliminating The Mob Part Two

Chapter Twenty-Four – The Cyborg Of Dottershites

Chapter Twenty-Five – How Power Team 7000 Began

Chapter Twenty-Six – The Final Battle Part One

Chapter Twenty-Seven – The Final Battle Part Two

Chapter Twenty-Eight – The Final Battle Part Three

Chapter Twenty-Nine – Dating

Chapter Thirty – Return To The Underground

Chapter Thirty-One – Agaric

Chapter Thirty-Two – Secrets

Chapter Thirty-Three – The Unexpected

Chapter Thirty-Four – Christina's Storyline Part One

Chapter Thirty-Five – Chirstina's Storyline Part Two

Chapter Thirty-Six – A New Beginning

Chapter Thirty-Seven – World War Four Part One

Chapter Thirty-Eight – World War Four Part Two

Chapter Thirty-Nine – The Knight

Chapter Forty – Evilon

Chapter Forty-One – The Gold Medallian

Chapter Forty-Two – Attack Vitonah Part One

Chapter Forty-Three – Attack Vitonah Part Two

Chapter Forty-Four – Flight To Argawa

Chapter Forty-Five – A World Gone Crazy Part One

Chapter Forty-Six – A World Gone Crazy Part Two

Chapter Forty-Seven – Rebirth Of The Vexars Part One

Chapter Forty-Eight – Rebirth Of The Vexars Part Two

Chapter Forty-Nine – Control Of Music Mansion Part One

Chapter Fifty – Control Of Music Mansion Part Two

Chapter Fifty-One – Control Of Music Mansion Part Three

Chapter Fifty-Two – Control Of Music Mansion Part Four

Chapter Fifty-Three – Quest For The Cosmic Rings Part One

Chapter Fifty-Four – Quest For The Cosmic Rings Part Two

Chapter Fifty-Five – The Search For Camelot

Chapter Fifty-Six – The Clave Wars Part One

Chapter Fifty-Seven – The Clave Wars Part Two

Chapter Fifty-Eight – Family Ties

PART ONE: GENESIS

THE BEGINNING

SETTING: A United Nations Conference. Roger Hill is guest speaking about a new idea. An idea that will change the world as we know it. The conference is being televised.

ROGER HILL: The Vexars are to establish and uphold truth, justice, and the laws of the civilizations that we come into contact with.

The meeting of the United Nations goes into recess...In the hallway...

ROGER HILL: How do you think I did?

AMY CORNILLIUS: Wonderfully.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: I have to admit. This is one time that you've finished what you've started.

FONZ HEART: It's pass or fail from here.

ROGER HILL: Thanks for the confidence.

BO McWIERD: Look at the bright side. If this project fails you'll have more free time.

ROGER HILL: Oh, whee.

AMY CORNILLIUS: You could always go back into teaching.

ROGER HILL: I'll remember that. I've got to get back to the center of attention.

The United Nations meeting reconvenes. A few hours later the meeting is over. Project Vexar has been put into effect. Later, at Prof. Numb's Mountain hideaway...

BO McWIERD: I can't believe they actually passed the Vexar project.

ROGER HILL: As leader I have to appoint my highest ranking staff.

FONZ HEART: So, what roles do we play?

ROGER HILL: You'll be my assistant leader. Amy will be head of defense. Professor Numb will be head of offense. Bo will be head of new members and repairs.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Bo can't repair anything. Everything he touches never works again.

ROGER HILL: You're only saying that because he's your brother.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Oh, yeah. Who was the last person to use your toaster before it didn't work anymore?

ROGER HILL: Speaking of my toaster. It's been a month and he's still not done fixing it. I've got toaster parts all over my counter.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: He's your identical cousin, not mine.

ROGER HILL: Well, he's still your twin brother, but I see your point. We'll have to be combined repairs.

Meanwhile, in an unknown place, Airhead flies down from the sky into a ring of fire where Speedway stands. A few minutes later Mutthead and Kwim walk in.

KWIM: What's the plan?

MUTTHEAD: To stop the Vexars before they stop us.

AIRHEAD: They're new and inexperienced. I don't think they'll be any trouble.

MUTTHEAD: Okay, but if they decide to cause any problems I want them out of my life, permanently. We'll continue with our crime wave as planned.

SPEEDWAY: Soon every bank on this planet will be broke and we'll be rich.

MUTTHEAD: We shall meet again tomorrow and discuss our progress.

The group departs. Meanwhile, at Prof. Numb's Mountain hideaway...

ROGER HILL: I have this idea for a car. Can you build it?

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Let me see the blueprints.

Roger hands Numb the blueprints. Numb glances at them.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: No problem.

ROGER HILL: How are the plans for Power Hall coming?

AMY CORNILLIUS: Perfectly.

ROGER HILL: How about the space crew?

BO McWIERD: I can only think of one person with enough flight experience for it.

ROGER HILL: I want a crew, not one person.

BO McWIERD: Can't he select his own crew?

ROGER HILL: Sure. Who is he?

BO McWIERD: Domingo Denado.

ROGER HILL: Our identical cousin?

BO McWIERD: Yes.

ROGER HILL: With every mission he blows up a ship. Couldn't you come up with someone else?

BO McWIERD: No.

ROGER HILL: Then, against my better judgment, I'll agree to him being a part of the team.

FONZ HEART: As assistant leader, what do I do?

ROGER HILL: You take my place when I'm gone. And, when I'm here you act as my secretary. Call Domingo Denado and have him meet me at Amy's New York apartment.

FONZ HEART: Would that be long distance?

ROGER HILL: We're inside a mountain in Canada. What do you think?

FONZ HEART: What's the area code?

ROGER HILL: I don't know. Check the phone book.

FONZ HEART: What's his phone number?

ROGER HILL: You live in Vermont. You should know most of this stuff.

AMY CORNILLIUS: If you must know, it's 555-4762.

FONZ HEART: How'd you know that?

AMY CORNILLIUS: I have a photographic memory and I read the New York telephone book. I know every U.N. official's phone number.

Suddenly a blue siren goes off and the small group turns on a United Nations Communications Computer. The President of the United States appears on the video screen.

ROGER HILL: Hello, Mr. President. What's happening?

PRESIDENT: There has been a rash of bank robberies throughout this world. Four different ones at the same time.

ROGER HILL: Where'd they start?

PRESIDENT: India, China, Japan, and Hawaii.

ROGER HILL: Where are they now?

PRESIDENT: Moscow, Italy, Egypt, and Finland. Every bank between those places has been robbed.

ROGER HILL: Why weren't we informed sooner?

PRESIDENT: This has all happened within the past few minutes.

ROGER HILL: We'll get right on it, sir. You have nothing to worry about.

The communications computer shuts off.

ROGER HILL: It sounds like they should be places close to the Atlantic Ocean now. How do we get there?

BO McWIERD: I could use my powers of concentration to get the rest of you to where they are and back, but I'd have to stay here.

ROGER HILL: Let's do it.

Bo uses his powers of concentration, mental powers on a scale far larger than normal telekinesis, and the room turns a bright yellow. When the bright light dissipates no one is in the room, except Bo. In France, Prof. Numb walks into a bank and Airhead follows her in.

AIRHEAD: Nobody move.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Why does this happen every time I go into a bank?

AIRHEAD: Shut up or I'll blow your head off!

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Do you really think that's necessary?

AIRHEAD: I mean it. One more word outta you and I blow your brains out!

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: You're going to blow my brains out with a six shooter?

Airhead starts shooting at Numb, but the Professor catches all of the bullets in her bare hands.

AIRHEAD: This is unbelievable!

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: I guess I should've told you that I can't die.

Prof. Numb kicks the gun out of Airhead's hands and Bo takes the two of them back to the mountain where they put Airhead in a maximum-security cell.

AIRHEAD: You can't keep me in here!

BO McWIERD: Bet me!

At the same time in South Africa, Amy follows Speedway into a bank.

SPEEDWAY: Everybody on the ground! NOW!!!

AMY CORNILLIUS: Does that include me? I followed you in here.

SPEEDWAY: Of course that includes you.

AMY CORNILLIUS: What're you going to shoot us with? Tar guns?

SPEEDWAY: Fireballs.

AMY CORNILLIUS: I suppose you're going to shoot them out of your fingers?

SPEEDWAY: Yes. Would you like a demonstration?

AMY CORNILLIUS: No. But your shoes are untied.

Speedway bends down and Amy karate chops her in the back of the neck.

SPEEDWAY: Why you little...

AMY CORNILLIUS: I know. But there are little kids in the room and I have to ensure their safety.

SPEEDWAY: How about a cage of fire.

Speedway waves her arms and traps Amy in a fire cage, then she finishes robbing the bank and leaves. Bo yanks Amy out of the fire cage and back to the mountain. Bo also brings Fonz and Roger back to the mountain.

ROGER HILL: I take it they all got away.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: All but this one.

ROGER HILL: What're the excuses?

AMY CORNILLIUS: I was trapped in a fire cage.

FONZ HEART: I was splattered in the eyes with water.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: I caught mine. What's your excuse?

ROGER HILL: He had four legs. He outran me.

AIRHEAD: You're inexperienced and unprepared.

ROGER HILL: I'll give you your opinion when I want to hear it.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: She's right. We are inexperienced and unprepared.

ROGER HILL: Get five of those cars built immediately. Amy, finish those plans for Power Hall and locate fifteen places for it. Bo, start mailing applications to stores and businesses and finding new members. Fonz, question the prisoner and then take her to the United Nations Security Building. I'm going to go talk to Domingo.

Roger leaves Numb Mountain and drives his car, a light blue convertible, to Domingo's house in New York. In Domingo Denado's living room...

ROGER HILL: How's space?

DOMINGO DENADO: It's still out there.

ROGER HILL: NASA didn't go for the plan for your spacecraft to explore outside the galaxy?

DOMINGO DENADO: It wasn't in the budget.

ROGER HILL: Would you be willing to work for me?

DOMINGO DENADO: Doing what?

ROGER HILL: Exploring space. I'll even have your spacecraft built.

DOMINGO DENADO: I'll do it.

ROGER HILL: Great. I'll have my people call you and tell you where to meet us for the first meeting.

DOMINGO DENADO: I'm looking forward to it.

Roger leaves and drives back to Numb Mountain...

ROGER HILL: Fonz. What'd you find out from the prisoner?

FONZ HEART: Her name is Airhead. She lives in the clouds. She flies. And the only smart thing about her is her mouth.

ROGER HILL: The U.N. will love her. How're the plans coming for Power Hall?

AMY CORNILLIUS: Great. I've even found out where to get the materials to build it.

ROGER HILL: How about the fifteen locations?

AMY CORNILLIUS: I've marked fifteen possible locations, but I still have to check them out.

ROGER HILL: Okay. How're the cars coming?

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Grab a wrench.

ROGER HILL: Not even done with the first one yet, huh?

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: No.

ROGER HILL: Fonz. Help Numb. How are the new members coming?

BO McWIERD: I sent out the applications.

ROGER HILL: Domingo is a member of our group. Or, will be anyway. He'll be roaming the cosmos. Have any applications come back yet?

BO McWIERD: No. But I had them mailed to your address, so they wouldn't come here anyway.

ROGER HILL: I guess I'd better go check my mail.

BO McWIERD: I'd better go with you.

ROGER HILL: You'd better not. You'll stay here and help Amy.

BO McWIERD: But new members are my department.

ROGER HILL: Then you should've had the applications sent to your house, not mine. See y'all.

Roger leaves again. He drives to his house in Alaska, picks up the mail and drives back to Numb Mountain.

AMY CORNILLIUS: Do you think we stopped those villains just by taking away one of their members?

ROGER HILL: No, but next time they're going to want to go for something bigger.

BO McWIERD: Where do you think they'll head?

ROGER HILL: They're after money. What place has more money than Fort Knox?

AMY CORNILLIUS: I say we get a group together and surprise attack them.

FONZ HEART: Sounds like an idea to me.

ROGER HILL: How long do you think it'll take them to hit Fort Knox?

Bo turns on the television...

NEWSCASTER: Fort Knox has just been robbed. Which place will be next?

Bo turns off the television.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Don't you just love these stories where people know exactly when to turn on and off the television or radio? The first car is done.

AMY CORNILLIUS: The locations are set up.

ROGER HILL: Good. Bo and I will take the first car and go set up a surprise attack at the New York Mint.

AMY CORNILLIUS: I'll meet you there in the next car they finish.

ROGER HILL: Okay.

Bo and Roger get in the recently finished car. Roger presses a button on the dashboard marked plane and wings unfold from under the car and they fly to the New York Mint as it is being robbed.

ROGER HILL: Care to drop your weapons?

MUTTHEAD: Sounds like an idea to me. Why don't you drop yours? After all, we do outnumber you.

ROGER HILL: Maybe in brawn, but in brains is a different story.

MUTTHEAD: What's that supposed to mean?

BO McWIERD: It means that I'm the only one here with brains.

ROGER HILL: We don't carry weapons. My arms are the only dangerous weapons I've got.

KWIM: Good. That'll make it easier for us to shoot you.

ROGER HILL: The only thing wrong with that is I'm invulnerable.

BO McWIERD: No you're...

SPEEDWAY: So you're not invulnerable.

BO McWIERD: Yes we are.

KWIM: Is it me, or is there two of them?

ROGER HILL: There are two of us. Are you that groggy? Here, take two of these...

Bo uses his powers of concentration to throw Kwim into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, where she swims freely.

ROGER HILL: Okay. I guess one will work.

MUTTHEAD: Stop them!

Speedway traps Bo and Roger in a ring of fire, then she and Mutthead run off.

ROGER HILL: Have you noticed what I've noticed about her fire?

BO McWIERD: You mean besides the fact that it doesn't get hot? No.

ROGER HILL: It doesn't make things hot. It's an illusion.

BO McWIERD: You mean we can walk through it and not be harmed by it?

ROGER HILL: Yes.

The two of them walk out of the ring of fire. Amy lands next to them.

AMY CORNILLIUS: What happened here?

ROGER HILL: A robbery in progress. It finished when hot hands trapped us in an illusionary ring of fire and they ran off.

BO McWIERD: But before they left I dumped that other lady, and I use the term loosely, in the Atlantic Ocean.

AMY CORNILLIUS: You didn't! We found out a few things about these villains we're up against. The person you called hot hands, her name is Speedway. The other lady is named Kwim, and she lives in the water. The guy they work with is named Mutthead. The only thing we don't know is how to stop them.

ROGER HILL: How convenient. Where do you think they'll strike next?

AMY CORNILLIUS: Instead of going to them, why don't you bring them to us. They'll strike businesses and then probably rich people next.

ROGER HILL: The White House. If they think they're confident enough to take over control of the free world, that's where they'll strike next.

AMY CORNILLIUS: If you're right, we'd better get there quick.

The three of them get in their cars and fly to the front lawn of the White House and stand in front of the White House door. Minutes later Mutthead, Kwim, and Speedway step up to them.

MUTTHEAD: Let us in!

ROGER HILL: Who's going to make us?

Mutthead transforms himself into a dog and Roger quickly puts a collar and leash on him.

ROGER HILL: Who's next?

Speedway starts shooting fireballs at them, but Amy, ignoring the illusionary fireballs, runs up to her and puts her in a headlock with one hand and holds her hands behind her back with the other.

AMY CORNILLIUS: Give up now?

Kwim starts blasting water at them, but Bo uses his powers of concentration to divert the water back into her face, then, using the same power, he traps her in an invisible cage.

BO McWIERD: Look! A mime!

ROGER HILL: Her face isn't painted white. Let's take them to the U.N. Security Building.

The three heroes round up the villains and leave. Later, at Numb Mountain...

BO McWIERD: These cars are nice. Think you can make me a motorcycle like one of them?

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: It's possible.

FONZ HEART: Me too?

ROGER HILL: First we have to get Domingo's spacecraft built. He gave me the plans for it.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Hand them here.

Roger hands Numb a set of blueprints. She looks at them, then she looks at Roger, and then she looks back at the blueprints.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: I hope you have a different set of plans.

ROGER HILL: Why's that?

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: These are the plans for your mansion.

Roger grabs the blueprints away from her and hands her a different set.

PROF. NUMB McWIERD: Next time make sure you hand me the right set of plans first.

BLACKMALE part one

SETTING: Power Hall, Greenland.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: How long has it been?

ROGER HILL: About a week since we've last talked. About eight years since we've actually visited one another.

CRYSTAL JEANS: You two are old pals I take it?

ROGER HILL: Yeah.

The blue siren goes off and the group turns to the United Nations Communications Computer. The President of the United States appears on its video screen.

ROGER HILL: What's up?

PRESIDENT: Total destruction. A group of protestors are destroying national monuments and yelling, Blackmale for President.

ROGER HILL: It's not even an election year.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: It sounds like a case I've been working on in Russia.

FERARRI JEANS: Doesn't our step-sister work for her?

CRYSTAL JEANS: Yes.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: I read somewhere that Blackmale is the leader of the mob, but no one has seen her.

ROGER HILL: We'll start work on it immediately.

The communications computer shuts off.

ROGER HILL: Let's just stop these protestors first. We can worry about the mob later.

Roger presses a button on a computer and a destroyer (one of the cars built in chapter one) come up through the floor. Suddenly the ground starts shaking. The five heroes look out the window to realize that they're ten feet in the air.

FERARRI JEANS: What do we do now?

ROGER HILL: We jump for the ground.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: I didn't know this was a national monument.

ROGER HILL: Neither did I.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Are you sure it's bright jumping into the middle of a firing squad?

ROGER HILL: It may not be bright, but it'll surprise them.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: We're talking about people who will attack before they think about how to aim for what they're firing at.

ROGER HILL: Okay. Everyone into the destroyer.

The group of five gets into the destroyer. Roger presses the button on the dashboard marked plane and they fly out of Power Hall and into the firing squad.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Aren't you going to avoid getting hit?

ROGER HILL: Why? The car is invulnerable. After I climb out of the window, one of you fly us by those flying people.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: None of us know how to fly.

ROGER HILL: It's just like driving a car.

Roger climbs out the window and onto the hood of the car. As they swing around Pluto Man, Roger jumps from the hood and onto the flying mobster's back, grabbing him around the neck to hold on.

PLUTO MAN: Get off or I'll fall!

ROGER HILL: How convenient. If you fall, I'll fall. But I suppose you're not used to falling.

PLUTO MAN: And I suppose you are?

ROGER HILL: I've been a stunt double in a few films.

The two fall out of the sky and land on the ground. Roger stands up, but Pluto Many lays unconscious.

ROGER HILL: I suggest you practice your falls.

Glenda Galour comes running up.

GLENDA GALOUR: What have you done to him?

ROGER HILL: Nothing. We both just fell out of the sky. Who're you? His girlfriend, perhaps?

GLENDA GALOUR: His field commander.

ROGER HILL: That means that you get to see Blackmale personally. Right?

GLENDA GALOUR: Yes.

ROGER HILL: Call off your troops and have my building set back down where it belongs.

GLENDA GALOUR: Who are you to tell me what to do?

ROGER HILL: I'm Blackmale's Boss. You can call me Rocky N. Bullwinkle.

GLENDA GALOUR: Set the building down and leave that car with wings alone.

The super villains stop their attack and stand behind Glenda as the car lands and the other four heroes get out and stand behind Roger.

FLAME: What's going on here? We were told to destroy this place. Why ain't we doin' it?

GLENDA GALOUR: Because this is my boss' boss.

ROGER HILL: And if you tear down my building you'll all be outta jobs.

TALK BACK: I didn't know your boss had a boss. I didn't even know you had a boss.

GLENDA GALOUR: That's the way the mob works. Leaders are kept secret so there is less chance to get discovered.

ROGER HILL: Yes. I'm afraid I'm going to have to fire your boss now. Tell these guys to go home and come with me.

The super powered mobsters leave. When they're gone, Glenda, Ferarri, and Roger get into the destroyer and fly to the United Nations Security Building.

GLENDA GALOUR: This ain't my boss'. This is that U.N. Security Building.

ROGER HILL: You're right. And, as soon as we have you put behind bars, we can catch each one of your followers separately.

GLENDA GALOUR: You can't do this to me.

ROGER HILL: That's what they all say. We're twenty feet in the air. Feel free to jump out at any time, but don't expect me to swing around and catch you.

Roger lands the destroyer and he and Ferarri drag Gloria into the U.N. Building. Ferarri and Roger return to the destroyer and fly back to Power Hall, Greenland.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Where do you think we'll find the rest of the mob?

ROGER HILL: Who knows.

Suddenly the building shakes and the blue sirens go off. The group turns to the communications computer and again the President of the Untied States appears on it.

ROGER HILL: What's up?

PRESIDENT: Glenda Galour has escaped.

ROGER HILL: That explains our recent earthquake. What can you tell us about these people?

PRESIDENT: We know as much as you do.

ROGER HILL: Thanks.

The communications computer shuts off.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: What do we do this time?

ROGER HILL: This has to be a personal vendetta. Blackmale must know me personally.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Maybe she just wants to be the first person to have the Vexars destroyed.

ROGER HILL: No. We haven't made a big enough dent in the criminal underworld to want that.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: So what's the plan?

ROGER HILL: We find out who Blackmale is.

The building shakes again.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Can you find out who Blackmale is quick? I'm starting to get motion sick.

ROGER HILL: First we stop the super mobsters, then I'll turn myself over to Glenda. She'll take me to Blackmale and you four will follow in the destroyer.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: I hope you know what you're doing.

ROGER HILL: Me too. Give me the hose.

Carl hands Roger the hose. Roger walks to the door with one end of the hose while Carl connects the other end to a waterspout. Carl turns on the water and Roger hoses down Flame, making him fall unconscious to the ground.

ROGER HILL: Nice work. Does anyone have a match?

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Yes, but why?

Gloria hands Roger a match. He lights it and throws it out the door. The match hits Talk Back, knocking her off of her feet and falling unconscious.

ROGER HILL: Too bad I had to melt some of that ice out there.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Yeah. You know some of us here can't walk on the ice as well as you do.

ROGER HILL: Just because it snows nine months out of the year in Alaska doesn't mean I can run on the ice while keeping my balance.

CRYSTAL JEANS: I bet you can't run fast enough to get that guy in the red suits mask.

ROGER HILL: Let's make it harder. Someone turn on the bubble machine on the ground down there.

Ferarri turns on the bubble machine and both Black Boomerang and Kryptonium Man get trapped in bubbles. Roger runs out on the ice and slides right past Dynomite Man, grabbing his mask on the way, making the super powered mobster powerless. Roger runs back into the building.

ROGER HILL: Look. A battery powered mask. This has to be the explanation for his powers.

FERARRI JEANS: All we have to do now is stop the flying guy in the purple tights.

ROGER HILL: That'll be no problem. We'll compromise with Glenda.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Are you sure that's wise?

ROGER HILL: No. But if we're going to find Blackmale we have to do something.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: What about Power Hall's tracking computer.

Gloria walks out on the ice and handcuffs Glenda and Dynomite Man to a fence. The rest of the heroes come out of Power Hall.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: YO! PURPLE TIGHTS! Come down with your hands up!

PLUTO MAN: My name ain't purple tights. It's Pluto Man.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: I don't care what your name is. Come down out of the sky.

Pluto Man starts shooting plutonian rays at Carl, but Carl dodges them by sliding on the ice.

FERARRI JEANS: Is that a new dance?

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Yeah. It's called the Plutonian Slide.

FERARRI JEANS: How do you do it?

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: You dodge plutonian rays on ice.

FERARRI JEANS: Sounds like fun.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: How do we stop him?

FERARRI JEANS: I don't have any idea, but we'd better stop him quick. The ground is turning to slush.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Perfect. We can throw little chunks of ice at him and force him out of the sky.

FERARRI JEANS: Do you think that'll work?

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: If it doesn't work we'll get frostbite and a free vacation.

FERARRI JEANS: Alright! Bombs Away!!

Ferarri and Carl throw chunks of ice at Pluto Man. After being hit a few times the super mobster falls to the ground unconscious.

ROGER HILL: Nice work. The U.N. is on its way to take these people to the pen.

CRYSTAL JEANS: What do we do now?

ROGER HILL: We track down Blackmale.

The five enter Power Hall, Greenland where Roger starts working on the tracking computer. Hours later...

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Do you know where she is yet?

ROGER HILL: Look for yourself.

CRYSTAL JEANS: What's that island below Australia?

ROGER HILL: If you're talking about that blinking island on the screen, it's Tasmania. That's where Blackmale is. Let's interface the destroyer's computer with Power Hall's tracking computer so we can locate exactly where she is in Tasmania.

The five get to work interfacing computers and then they fly off in the destroyer.

BLACKMALE part two

SETTING: A little island south of Australia known as Tasmania. The destroyer from Power Hall, Greenland has landed and its occupants have gotten out of the car.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Where is she? The arrow pointed right here.

ROGER HILL: It pointed to that castle there.

CRYSTAL JEANS: We have to walk that far?

ROGER HILL: No. One of you four has to stay here and call for reinforcements if we need them.

CRYSTAL JEANS: No way. I'd rather go into the castle.

ROGER HILL: Good. Carl will stay here. If we're not back in ten minutes call for help from Power Hall, Loyalty Island.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Will do.

All but Carl start making their journey toward the front gate of the castle. When they walk inside the corridor splits into two different directions.

FERARRI JEANS: Which way do we go?

ROGER HILL: You and Crystal go to the left. Gloria and I will go to the right. And watch your step. Old buildings are rigged with secret passages and trap doors.

The group splits up and continue walking.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: This isn't much different from a Russian castle.

Gloria and Roger fall through a trap door and land in an empty room with brick walls.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Now what do we do?

ROGER HILL: Hope there's a way out.

The two of them start pushing on the walls, trying to find a hidden door. Meanwhile, in the other hallway, Crystal and Ferarri have made their way to the castle library.

FERARRI JEANS: Look at how old some of these books are.

CRYSTAL JEANS: The origin of the mob. 1647.

FERARRI JEANS: Sounds like a good book. A mob reunion. 1724.

CRYSTAL JEANS: The mob now. 1796.

FERARRI JEANS: The new improved mob. 1850.

CRYSTAL JEANS: The best of the mob. 1901.

FERARRI JEANS: The first female mob leader.

CRYSTAL JEANS: What's the year?

FERARRI JEANS: It's still in the makings.

Speedy and Dr. Dirty enter the room.

DR. DIRTY: What're you doing here?

FERARRI JEANS: We were thinking about checking out a couple of books. Can you tell us where the check out counter is?

DR. DIRTY: Put your hands in the air.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Sorry, but I don't feel like doing the hokey pokey right now.

SPEEDY: (pulling a gun from his belt) Maybe you didn't hear him right. Put your hands in the air.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Is that thing real?

SPEEDY: No. I kill people with toy guns.

FERARRI JEANS: Okay. We'll just take the books we've got and leave.

DR. DIRTY: A wise decision. Don't tell nobody you saw us or we'll have the mob on your tail quicker than the U.S. police force can catch a bank robber.

Crystal and Ferarri leave the library with the books about the mob and walk back out to the destroyer.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: What's going on?

CRYSTAL JEANS: We found the library. These are books about the mob.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Nice choice of reading material.

FERARRI JEANS: How long has it been?

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Too long. That castle gives me the spooks.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Me too.

FERARRI JEANS: Too bad, Sis. We're going back in. We've got to find Gloria and Roger. Then we have to find Blackmale.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Do we have to?

FERARRI JEANS: Yes. Carl call for back up at once.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: Yes, Chief.

Crystal follows Ferarri back into the castle and down the hallway Gloria and Roger had taken.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Can't we turn around and go back?

FERARRI JEANS: No.

The two of them fall through the same trap door Gloria and Roger did, and land in the same room with them.

ROGER HILL: Fancy meeting you here.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Nice place. How do we get out?

ROGER HILL: If we knew that do you think we'd still be in here?

CRYSTAL JEANS: How do we live without any doors or windows? Oh, no. We're all going to suffocate!

ROGER HILL: Don't panic! This looks like an old torture chamber.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: How did they clean it out?

The room starts filling with water from small holes in the floor and walls.

CRYSTAL JEANS: We're going to drown.

FERARRI JEANS: Will you stop! You're using up all of the oxygen!

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Where's the water coming from?

ROGER HILL: Little holes in the floor and walls..

FERARRI JEANS: But too much water pressure against these brick walls will...

ROGER HILL: I hope everybody can swim.

CRYSTAL JEANS: What will the bricks do?

FERARRI JEANS: They'll explode. There's no need to panic though, because Carl has already called for reinforcements.

ROGER HILL: It's still a bit early for him to do that.

FERARRI JEANS: I told him to when Crystal and I dropped some books off at the destroyer.

ROGER HILL: I guess you found the library.

FERARRI JEANS: And plenty of books about the mob in it. Dating clear back to 1647. Not to mention a couple of mobsters.

ROGER HILL: Okay. Just as soon as we get out of here we go to the library.

CRYSTAL JEANS: What're we going to do at the library?

ROGER HILL: Investigate like we're supposed to do.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Can we get out of the water first?

ROGER HILL: Any ideas on how?

Fonz Heart drops a rope ladder down the trap door and the four heroes climb out one at a time.

FONZ HEART: You could say I had an idea on how to get out of there.

CRYSTAL JEANS: How did you find us?

FONZ HEART: There was a map of the castle in one of those books.

ROGER HILL: Shall we head to the library?

TOMMY JEANS: Sounds like a good place to me.

The group of heroes follows Ferarri to the library.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: This place looks empty.

Speedy, Dr. Dirty, Leslie Lynn, and Sam Porsha enter the room.

DR. DIRTY: I thought we told you two to leave.

FERARRI JEANS: But you have such a wonderful library and I couldn't resist showing it to my friends.

SPEEDY: Well, now you'll pay.

CARL SHNEEZENBOMB: How much do you want?

Dr. Dirty draws his sword from the scabbard on his back.

DR. DIRTY: No more funny stuff.

CRYSTAL JEANS: How do we get out of this?

ROGER HILL: I'm open to suggestions.

Fonz starts swinging on a chandelier. He lets go and falls on top of Dr. Dirty, knocking the sword out of the mobster's hand. Speedy draws his gun.

TOMMY JEANS: (pointing behind Speedy) Look! It's Big Bird!

Speedy turns around and Tommy punches him in the jaw, knocking him down and forcing him to drop his gun. Leslie Lynn pulls out a set of nunchakus and starts swinging them around.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Flight four-seven-one clear for take off.

Gloria grabs Leslie's arm and throws her into the wall on the other side of the room. Sam Porsha draws his gun.

SAM PORSHA: Murder ain't one of my specialties, but I can always add it to the list.

ROGER HILL: Where can I find Blackmale?

SAM PORSHA: No!

FONZ HEART: Hey, Sammy. Remember me? I was going out with your daughter for a while.

SAM PORSHA: Fonz Heart. I never knew what Sondra saw in you.

FONZ HEART: Do you remember what happened to Sondra?

SAM PORSHA: She ran off.

FONZ HEART: Do you know where she went?

SAM PORSHA: No.

FONZ HEART: I'll make a deal with you. If you turn yourself in we'll find Sondra for you.

Sam Porsha hands his gun to Fonz, then he opens a secret panel.

SAM PORSHA: Blackmale is in the room that is guarded by two super humans, but don't let her know I showed you in.

ROGER HILL: We won't.

The group of heroes walks down the hallway to a guarded room.

CLAW: Who goes there?

ROGER HILL: You've been watching too many movies. We're mobsters.

SEA: What's the secret password?

ROGER HILL: We are new members. No one has told us the password yet.

SEA: Let me ask my supervisor.

Sea walks to a different room and enters it. Tommy pulls out his police badge and shows it to Claw.

TOMMY JEANS: Blackmale called my station about some murder that is being investigated.

CLAW: You may enter.

Tommy enters the room with Christy Read.

CHRISTY READ: What're you doing here?

TOMMY JEANS: Placing you under arrest.

Christy pulls out a gun and aims it at Tommy.

TOMMY JEANS: Why do they always give me the hard assignments?

Jagenine, Sea, and Claw follow the rest of the Vexars into Blackmale's office.

JAGENINE: Look what we found outside.

ROGER HILL: Let them go. It's me you want.

CHRISTY READ: Typical superhero.

ROGER HILL: Typical criminal. I see you're still playing with toy guns.

CHRISTY READ: This ain't no toy.

Roger walks up and grabs the cap gun out of Blackmale's hand, opens it, and dumps the caps out on her desk.

TOMMY JEANS: Now I feel like an idiot.

CRYSTAL JEANS: Matches your looks.

FERARRI JEANS: We're still trapped in here.

Crystal grabs Jagenine's wrist, spins her around and throws her into Sea. Tommy grabs Claw's clawed arms and sticks them in the top of Blackmale's desk.

CLAW: Help! I'm stuck!

Tommy handcuffs Blackmale's hands behind her back and drags her out to the destroyers, while Sea uses her super powers to make the room fill up with water.

ROGER HILL: Turn off that faucet.

Sea stands up and Jagenine falls to the floor.

SEA: You may have stopped the rest of them, but you haven't stopped me.

FONZ HEART: I guess I brought this bouquet of flowers for nothing.

ROGER HILL: Why did you bring a....

FONZ HEART: I was hoping to find a cute girl.

SEA: What kind of flowers?

FONZ HEART: Roses, Tulips, Dahlia's, and Carnations.

SEA: Did you say Dahlia's?

FONZ HEART: Yes.

SEA: Get them away from me. I'm extremely allergic to them.

FONZ HEART: Then, I guess you'll come along quietly so I don't hold them up to your nose

Sea stops the water and walks out the door and a couple of U.N. officials walk in, round up the mobsters and leave. Later, at Power Hall, Greenland...

FONZ HEART: I hope you remember that we promised Sam Porsha we'd help him find his daughter.

ROGER HILL: I didn't forget, but she doesn't seem to be in this dimension. I can't find her on the tracking computer.

GLORIA SHVINNKOV: Is that possible?

FONZ HEART: It's possible, but it's also unusual. Any ideas on what dimension she's in.

ROGER HILL: Do you know how many different dimensions there are? It's going to take me at least a week to find the right one. I also have to update Power Hall's files.

FONZ HEART: I'll do Power Hall's files.

Fonz picks up a stack of folders. Roger stands up to stretch his legs and Crystal sits down at the tracking computer. The blue siren goes off and the President's face appears on the communications computer again.

ROGER HILL: What's up, Mr. President?

PRESIDENT: The U.N. officials thought you would like to know the rest of the mob has been caught and we'll be sending you the information that we've collected on them immediately. It should be there within the hour.

A box lands in the mail drop of Power Hall.

ROGER HILL: Was that information sent in a box by chance?

PRESIDENT: Yes. We couldn't find an envelope big enough.

ROGER HILL: I think it just landed. I'll have it filed away immediately.

The communications computer shuts off. Roger grabs the box and sits at the table with Fonz and starts filing. Soon they are joined by Gloria, Carl, and Ferarri in the filing.

CRYSTAL JEANS: How long has it been since you've seen Sondra Porsha?

FONZ HEART: About thirteen years. Why?

CRYSTAL JEANS: I couldn't find a Sondra Porsha anywhere, but using a combination d.n.a. and name search I found a young miss Porsha in the sixth dimension. She's about ten or eleven. And, she's apparently your daughter.

FONZ HEART: Let's go get her.

ROGER HILL: Can you tell us more about this Miss Porsha?

CRYSTAL JEANS: I've got a photo and information printing out now.

ROGER HILL: How did you get it to do that? I've never been able to get it to do that.

CRYSTAL JEANS: I have just one question. How did you know Blackmale's gun was a fake?

ROGER HILL: I saw the used cap ring in the garbage can.

THE SEARCH FOR THE PORSHA GIRLS part one

SETTING: Roger Hill, Bo Slavedriver Bluffman, Prof. Numb McWierd, Bo McWierd, and Dr. Allena Chop have just arrived in the sixth dimension in a destroyer. The cities are under attack. The destroyer stops in front of a gold brick castle and stops.

ROGER HILL: The Porsha girl should be in that castle. Allena, you come with me. The rest of you stop those monsters from destroying the towns.

Roger grabs a sword, a rope, and a fire extinguisher out of the destroyer as Allena grabs her medical bag and a horsewhip. The two quickly run inside the castle as the other three fly away in the destroyer.

DR. ALLENA CHOP: Do you think they'll survive the monsters?

ROGER HILL: They're my cousins. If they don't, I'll kill 'em.

DR. ALLENA CHOP: I read somewhere that a few of those family members of yours have super powers.

ROGER HILL: That's why they're there and I'm here.

The two quickly and quietly make their way to the dungeon and into Fonzetta Slick Porsha's cell without any incidents.

SLICK PORSHA: I'm warning you. If you're any of Achilles' Myrmidons I've got a can of mace.

ROGER HILL: Hold the spray. We're friends. We're going to take you to your proper dimension. Do you know who Fonz Heart is?

SLICK PORSHA: Mom used to talk about him all the time before Achilles had her killed. He's got my two sisters trapped in other dimensions.

ROGER HILL: Do you know that Fonz Heart is your father?

SLICK PORSHA: I knew it was a possibility.

ROGER HILL: Do you mind if my friend here takes a look at your cuts and bruises?

SLICK PORSHA: I'm fine.

DR. ALLENA CHOP: That's good. I'm an internist, I deal with organs, not skin.

SLICK PORSHA: Can we get out of here now?

Slick grabs a can of mace from under the bed and the three sneak out of the room. Grimaldi and Navy appear in front of them.

NAVY: Going somewhere?

ROGER HILL: We were planning on it.

NAVY: Well. You can't go anywhere.

ROGER HILL: Says who?

GRIMALDI: Achilles. Ruler of the Sixth Dimension.

ROGER HILL: Well, you can tell ol' kingy-wingy for me that the leader of the Vexars is taking his innocent prisoners back home.

GRIMALDI: Sorry, but we can't do that.

ROGER HILL: Fine. Then I will. Show me the way to his office.

NAVY: We can't do that either.

DR. ALLENA CHOP: You must. Your ruler is dying and we're the only medics who can save him.

Navy and Grimaldi show the group to Achilles' office. Then, Slick sprays mace in their eyes. Afterwards, Allena knocks their heads together and throws them into the wall across the hall. The three enter the office.

ROGER HILL: Listen up oh Masterful Dude like person from the Sixth Dimension. I'm taking your innocent prisoners back home to their rightful dimensions.

ACHILLES JR.: I will not let you do that. GUARDS!!!

Gold and Copper enter Achilles' office.

GOLD: Yes, Boss?

ACHILLES JR.: Seize them.

Roger sprays Gold in the eyes with the fire extinguisher he took from the destroyer and then he throws her into Copper.

ROGER HILL: That's four down. How many more of these guys have you got?

ACHILLES JR.: GUARDS!!!

Lupine and Gloxinia enter the office.

LUPINE: What's up?

ROGER HILL: You are.

Roger picks up Lupine and drops him on Achilles' desk. He then grabs Lupine's shirt and throws him across the room into a wall, while at the same time Allena pulls out the horse whip she had taken from the destroyer and uses it on Gloxinia.

GLOXINIA: That hurts.

DR. ALLENA CHOP: I know.

Slick grabs the back of Gloxinia's shirt and throws her into Lupine.

ROGER HILL: Why don't you guys give up?

ACHILLES JR.: GUARDS!!!

Canary and Oriole enter Achilles' office.

CANARY: What?

ACHILLES JR.: STOP THEM!

Roger takes out the rope he grabbed from the destroyer and makes it into a lasso. Then he lassos the two super villains and ties them up. When Roger's done, Slick sprays their faces with her can of mace and throws them into a wall.

ROGER HILL: Looks like it's just you and me.

ACHILLES JR.: Then maybe you'd like to deal with my MONSTERS!!!

A mob of harpies appear in the office. At the same time Numb, Bo, and Slavedriver enter the room.

SLAVEDRIVER: Look at this mess! I want it cleaned up at once!

ACHILLES JR.: I don't know who you are, but you're not my boss.

SLAVEDRIVER: I said MOVE IT!!! Before I have to get physical!!!

Achilles starts cleaning off his desk. Roger draws the sword he took from