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Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No
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Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No
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Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No
Ebook461 pages7 hours

Boundaries: When To Say Yes, How to Say No

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

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About this ebook

Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherZondervan
Release dateSep 9, 2008
ISBN9780310296034
Author

Henry Cloud

Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, pastor to pastors, and New York Times bestselling author. His 45 books, including the iconic Boundaries, have sold over 20 million copies worldwide. Throughout his storied career as a clinician, he started treatment centers, created breakthrough new models rooted in research, and has been a leading voice on issues of mental health and leadership on a global scale. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy.  

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Reviews for Boundaries

Rating: 4.243243243243243 out of 5 stars
4/5

148 ratings13 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Excellent Advice, An eye opener for self realization, would recomend
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book really hit home run in my life. Thank you Jesus for using the writer the way you did. In Jesus name. Amen.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    If is a quite nice book. Lots of good insights, maybe too pragmatic for my preference. Notwithstanding the content is sound and good.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Many good insights. I can understand those who say it was life-changing. It was recommended to me with the caveat that I'd have to not be distracted by the many Christian and biblical references. I find that's good advice. Don't avoid reading it just because you're not from a religious background; that can just be considered window dressing. The book offers a lot of help to those who are burned out or stressed by daily demands or difficult people.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I would give this book 10 stars if I could... life changing.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Front row placement on my bookshelves, so I can refer to it often. This book is beautifully written, with scriptural and historical data to explain and clarify sociological expectations and create more functional relations.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a very helpful book. The authors cover a wide variety of different types of boundary issues, so naturally, the reader will find it difficult to relate to some of them. My experience was that I related quite strongly to some and couldn't relate at all to others. Still, it's certainly a very worthwhile book to read if you or someone you know is struggling with a personal boundary issue of some kind - be it spouse, family, friends, work or church. They're all pretty well covered here.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is a book that I have to read many times over, the concept of letting go of the bad to let in the good resonated more than anything. Yes the book is repetitive, but the more you read something, the more you will understand and retain. Each person carries their own daily load, but we all share our burdens.
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    I agree with the concepts put forward in this book, though I found it almost impossible to read from a literature point of view. I assume that Cloud and Townsend have tried to write it so that it can be read and understood by anyone, which leaves it extremely bland, repetitive and poorly written. Rather than expand well on the topic or go into greater depth, they have repeated their concepts over and again, applying the same formula to multitudes of case studies. This book could be condensed to about 20 pages, if people can't get the same thought process out of that they aren't going to. It was a good idea, but very poorly executed, they may have done better to employ a ghost writer.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A helpful book in understanding how to define and set healthy boundaries for the Christian life.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    There is some very useful stuff in this book, but I do not believe the authors distinguish enough between keeping those boundries up about the bad while loosening up about the good. They SAY that, but in their examples they do not encourage that.To explain, let me use the story at the end of the book, which is a woman's day when she has her boundaries functioning "properly." The discipline she teaches her childing is good, but as for the rest of it, what love does she show? Does she help bear the burdens of those around her, as we are instructed to do in Galatians 6?Obviously not. In fact, she dumps her work onto her assistant so she can skip out early, makes herself a pest to her husband until he conforms to her wishes, and hangs up on a friend who had called her for help.Before boundaries, she was a wreck, it is true. Yet is the solution to being stressed an abandonment of Christian responsibility, or is it to lean on God for more patience?I would rather be tearing my hair out in service than to assert myself in what I would consider an unchristian way. The authors have laid out a method by which you can make everyone around you do your bidding. And yet the first shall be last in the end. Let me be a servant!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Found this book very helpful. Easy to read and grasp the principles. Essential advice for survival in marriage and parenting and friendships
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Excellent read. It was recommended to me by someone who encouraged me and prayed with me. It changed the way I dealt with people, and my way of perceiving in general. If there is one book I'd recommend without reserve, it'd be this one.