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Embrace
Embrace
Embrace
Ebook370 pages5 hours

Embrace

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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About this ebook

It starts with a whisper: "It's time for you to know who you are..."

On her 17th birthday, everything will change for Violet Eden. The boy she loves will betray her. Her enemy will save her. She will have to decide just how much she's willing to sacrifice.

Dangerously exciting and darkly romantic, EMBRACE is a compelling novel of good and evil, seductive desires and impossible choices. A centuries old war between fallen angels and the protectors of humanity chooses a new fighter. It's a battle Violet doesn't want, but she lives her life by two rules: don't run and don't quit. If angels seek vengeance and humans are the warriors, you could do a lot worse than betting on Violet Eden.

LINCOLN: He's been Violet's one anchor, her running partner and kickboxing trainer. Only he never told her he's Grigori—part human, part angel—and that he was training her for an ancient battle between Angels and Exiles. 

PHOENIX: No one knows where his loyalties lie, yet he's the only one there to pick up the pieces and protect her after Lincoln's lies. In a world of dark and light, he is all shades of gray.

Two sides: Angel or Exile.
Two guys: Lincoln or Phoenix.
The wrong choice could cost not only her life, but her eternity...

"In her YA paranormal romance debut, Jessica Shirvington combines "the badass-action of Vampire Academy, the complex love triangles of Twilight, and the angel mythology of Fallen, taken one step further." —Book Couture

"Shirvington's debut is smart, edgy and addictive—and sure to leave readers clamoring for the rest of the series."— Kirkus Reviews, STARRED

"One of the best YA novels we've seen in a while. Get ready for a confident, kick-butt, well-defined heroine." — RT Book Reviews
LanguageEnglish
PublisherSourcebooks
Release dateSep 1, 2012
ISBN9781402271267
Embrace
Author

Jessica Shirvington

Jessica Shirvington lives in Sydney with her husband of ten years, Foxtel presenter and former Olympic sprinter Matt Shirvington, and their two daughters. She has previously founded and run a coffee distribution company, Stella Imports, in London, and been involved in managing the restaurants Fuel Bistro, Tow Bar and MG Garage in Sydney. She is currently a full-time mum, author and co-director in the company MPS Investments Pty Ltd.

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Reviews for Embrace

Rating: 3.853191535744681 out of 5 stars
4/5

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Despite my initial hesitation, the characters and story quickly drew me in. A better understanding of mountains and rock climbing would have made the book better, but I otherwise thoroughly enjoyed it, and enjoyed the less traditional main character.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I love angel stories, so Jessica Shirvington’s debut novel Embrace looked like it was right up my alley. It has a slightly different take on fallen angels and a couple of interesting guys. Unfortunately, the story turned out to be not as compelling as I hoped. I got about half-way through the book, had a question about a book I’d read previously and ended up re-reading that one instead. I then went back to my Nook e-library and found I had never finished Embrace! I picked up where I left off and finished the story, but 48 hours later I wasn't retaining much of it except character impressions.

    Reading through the synopsis above, a line stands out for me: “It’s a battle Violet doesn’t want, but she lives her life by two rules: don’t run and don’t quit.“ These rules are repeated several times by Violet, but for someone who is supposed to live by them she does a lot of running and quitting. When she finds out Lincoln has lied to her about who he is – and who she is – she runs. She quits talking to him, and basically tries to cut him out of her life. Any time she is brought to realize how different she is from other “normal” teenage girls, she works very hard to ignore it. She ends up reluctantly drawn to Phoenix, even though she senses darkness in him – and she ignores it. Violet apparently also has an abundance of Grigori powers, but other than the ability to heal (which comes in handy when Lincoln’s life is on the line) I found her powers underwhelming since they basically consist of smelling apples and hearing angel wings when she puts on a Grigori bracelet. All in all, I was not very impressed by Violet.

    The guys come off a bit better, although Lincoln has his own issues with ignoring things. It is apparent he is desperately in love with Violet, but since they are destined to work together as Grigori he tries to put these feelings aside (unsuccessfully). I liked Lincoln and thought he was a good match for Violet, but their destiny is definitely going to continue to cause problems for them. Phoenix, meanwhile, is the “bad boy” of the story. He is dark, mysterious, and keeping some pretty big secrets. Unfortunately, his biggest secret was all too easy to figure out. His attraction to Violet was apparent, but I don’t really know what he sees in her. Phoenix is probably the most intriguing character, and I would be interested in seeing what Shirvington does with him in the future; however, I just don’t find anything else about the story to be compelling enough to continue reading the series. “Dangerously exciting and darkly romantic” this is not!

    With a heroine who consistently tries to ignore her problems and a bland storyline, Embrace turned out to be one of the bigger disappointments for me so far this year. When the second book in the series, Enticed, is released in September I may skim it at the bookstore to see if the style has improved (and to find out if Phoenix still holds my interest), but it is not going to be a must-have addition to my library.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    "Embrace" is the first book in a new YA paranormal series. It falls in nicely with the popular teen literature trend of angels and fallen angels, but goes a step above. It is a coming-of-age story that deals with important personal themes like family, friendship, love, trust, fate, and betrayal. Shirvington takes normal teenage problems and adds another layer of paranormal angst as icing on the cake. The characters, especially our heroine Violet, are all well-rounded and accessible. They are dealing with everyday problems that we all have or will have to face, and their reactions are believeable, which makes us identify with them even more. We almost automatically take Violet’s side and understand her confusion and pain at what is happening in her life. Throw in a couple of handsome guys fighting over her and a battle between exiled angels and humans – you have all the ingredients for a hit book. This book is very well written with a great narrative and easy flow to the storyline. The reader is drawn into the world that Shirvington has created and I was disappointed that the book had to end. Needless to say, I am now eagerly awaiting the coming novels, but I wish I didn’t have to wait so long to see what will happen next! I highly recommend that everyone who enjoys YA fiction read "Embrace" – don’t miss this one!Disclosure: I received my copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This was an enjoyable book to read, but I had a few issues with it that nagged at me after reading it.
    I liked the main character Violet. She's strong-willed, stubborn, and creative. I didn't like some of her decisions, but just because she's part angel doesn't mean she isn't human.
    The plot was lovely. The idea of Grigori and exiled angels was interesting. The part about opposing forces (light & dark) complementing and necessitating eachother was intriguing and thoughtful- atleast in theory. However, when it was put into practice I was a little disappointed. There seemed to be a bit of generalising/stereotyping with the light and dark exiles, which started in the explanation of the light as like cult leaders, etc. And Onyx just seemed such a stereotypical villain.
    Further, the way the plot unravelled lacked subtlety and mystery for me. Two plot twists that had the potential to be completely shocking and amazing fell short. Phoenix's heritage seemed a little obvious to me after Onyx's story, as did his manipulation of her emotions after she embraced. It's understandable that Violet didn't notice- the first time she was worried for Lincoln's safety, and the second her mind was manipulated. But it was obvious to the reader- with a bit of subtlety, the reader could have been kept in the dark until Violet realised the truth.
    The romance also had potential. The best friend, the mysterious stranger... it's basically the recipe for a good love triangle. I couldn't put my finger on what felt wrong with the romance until I'd finished reading. It was missing alot of romantic build-up. Violet was already practically in love with Lincoln from the start, and things with Phoenix just sort of fell into place. Where was the gradual getting-to-know-eachother? The flirting(Phoenix's innuendo aside)? The wooing? I feel like there should have been more Violet-Lincoln time before they fought, and the flirting with Phoenix should have beend drawn out longer. In the end, without a better understanding of the relationships, it felt shallow.

    In the end, the book had an amazing foundation, but didn't develop the way I would have liked.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I found the book to be totally amazing.

    I finished it within a few days and was not ready for it to end.

    Embrace was one of my favorite books in this entire series. I love the characters. This was a book that was really hard for me to put down.

    Violet and Lincoln for me are just two amazing people. And just TWO of my favorite characters in this series.

    If I were to have a fictional boyfriend, I would have a hard time picking between Griffin and Lincoln, but I think I would be leaning more towards Griffin because he is just someone with common sense, good heart & smart. But, his 'gift' would get me into some trouble! lol...

    Lincoln, I would want to choose him because he is very much the strong silent type but you knew not to get on his bad side. He makes you want to root for him! He is also very intelligent and a good heart about him but he can also be that kind of person that is hard to understand.

    This book for me was just, well, refreshing!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I found the book to be totally amazing.

    I finished it within a few days and was not ready for it to end.

    I just finished book 2..And I can't wait for book 3 to come out!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I found the book to be totally amazing.

    I finished it within a few days and was not ready for it to end.

    I just finished book 2..And I can't wait for book 3 to come out!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I am not really an Angel fan, but Shirvington's take was great! It was a great read :D
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Violet Eden dreads her upcoming birthday. Her birthday is a reminder every year of her Mother’s death. Shortly before her birthday, she starts having very vivid, disturbing dreams that leave with very real injuries. A dark tattoo starts to appear on arms, and it just keeps spreading. She has so many questions about what is happening to her, and the very guy she believes she can one day fall in love with has all the answers. Lincoln. The truth she learns is far from what she ever expected. A century old battle between fallen angel and the protectors of humanity is raging on. And learning that you are a Grigori, half human and half angel is a shock, but the most shocking part is that the protectors of humanity have chosen a new warrior. Violet. She could very well be the key to winning the battle.



    This is a very different take on angels. You have both light and dark fallen angels fighting the protectors of humanity. The plot is itself is fast paced, with battle scenes that are very descriptive and engrossing. It keeps you pretty interested enough to keep reading to find out how everything turns out. I was expecting when Violet finally embraced it would be this amazing, breathtaking experience for her, but it wasn’t. I was a little disappointed, I really did enjoy the characters throughout the book. Violet is a very spunky, and sassy young girl. And sometime she can pretty selfish, but having lost her mother at birth and having an absent parent, she seems to manages quite well. She spends a lot of time with Lincoln training to be Grigori. She finds the inner strength to accept who she is. Doing so she becomes powerful and determined which in turn makes her character really intriguing. Violet’s 2 relationships are pretty good. Lincoln is gorgeous, strong, and he loves her very much. There is definitely chemistry there. But he is Grigori and they can never truly be together, it is against the rules. Where as Phoenix mysterious, dark and gorgeous too. There’s a lot more to him than meets the eye though. She has to choose between them. I guess I’m a rule breaker, because I would love to see Violet and Lincoln together. Overall this a pretty good book. It has battles with good and bad angels, romance, betrayal and loss. I love this premise of this book, I think it fantastic so I will certainly continue with this series to find out what happens. I would recommend giving this one a try.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Due to copy and paste, formatting has been lost.I'm not totally sure what I thought about this one. I liked it alright, but I feel like I didn't really understand everything that was going on. I understand angels. I understand Grigori, and I understand people. But do I understand their actions? No.I think that's actually my only issue with this story-- I don't really understand it. For all the tiny details, I think I maybe missed a lot? Unfortunately, that basically sums up my feelings.I liked Violet as a character, because she was strong, but at times she could be a little whiny. I can't fault her for being a loyal friend, though. She really looks out for the people that she loves, and I admire her for that.I liked Pheonix and Lincoln at first, but as the story continued they both start to grate on me a bit. Pheonix because he just couldn't keep it to himself (uh-huh, guess) and Lincoln just because he made some decisions that just made me dislike him. I'm not actually sure why! He just rubbed me wrong.All in all, this was an enjoyable read, but I'm not exactly sure what happened between the start and the end. I'd like to continue the series, though.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Embrace has got it all - a great paranormal romance with a fast paced story that I was not able to put down. If you know me at all, you know how much I love my angel stories (as much as I love my fairytales), but this story was not like any other angel story that I have read. Shirvington's version of "good vs. bad" angels was exhilarating .. the slightly predictable love triangle between "slightly whiny damsel in distress" with "perfect guy vs. dark and brooding bad boy" wasn't overpowering and in the end left me breathless and seeing that it wasn't so predictable after all.It's Violet Eden's seventeenth birthday and things are about to change for her. She finds out things about herself and her deceased mother that cannot be ignored. And as more of her mother's history unravels and revelations are made, Violet handles it all just like any other person would - slightly panicked and somewhat in denial, but she keeps her head on straight and focuses on what needs to be done. She is smart, sassy, and be no means not perfect at all. I really felt like I could relate to her and her imperfections. But she was also so very strong and determined, definitely not one to back down, and not afraid to stand up for what she believes in and protect the people that she cares for. Now she must decide if she is to embrace her destiny or go on and try to live a normal life. If she chooses the latter, it will be with much difficulties.She's known Lincoln for a while now, and is one of the very few people that she trusts. Once I met Lincoln, I could not blame Violet for having a severe crush on him - he is endearing and patient, and you can feel how much he cares for Violet. And as much as Violet thinks she knows him, his likes and dislikes and such, Lincoln is holding back. And when the secrets start to unfold, the consequences are brutal. Violet knows that Lincoln can help her and has the answers to all of her questions, but his slow revelations and over-protectiveness wears Violets patience - why couldn't he have told her everything right from the beginning, she doesn't know if she can ever fully trust him again. And right on cue, in walks Phoenix - handsome, mysterious and alluring - who wouldn't be attracted to him? He is doesn't hold back and answers Violets questions without much hesitation. But there are some questionable things that he does, things that I were a little difficult for me to understand why and how Violet wasn't questioning and didn't feel threaten by him. In the end, we are told why. But throughout the book, at times, it made it difficult to understand why Violet was so enchanted by him. The plot-twists and continuous revelations hooked me right from the beginning! This is definitely an angel series that you won't want to miss out on!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Originally I was drawn into this story by the cover. I love the purple and the smoke that looks like wings and the falling feathers. But as I began to read, it became clear that I was continuing the story for way more than that. Violet doesn't look forward to her birthday because it marks the day her mother died. Her death brought all types of questions that she never knew she had. That is until the man she loves tells her.... On accident. She then finds herself in the middle of a battle as old as time and learns about a whole different world that she never knew existed. As she learns more about this new world, she learns more about herself that she never knew existed. This book definitely caught me by surprise. I was not expecting to like it as much as I did. It was like non stop action and a whole lot of suspense. Along with a little paranormal. It was a nice refreshing angel story that I found myself reading nonstop- at work, at the nail shop, and while I was in the library trying to finish homework. Yes I was able to catch the plot twist early on in the story, but even still, I was still hooked on the story. There were two things in the story that I could complain about, but part of it had to do with the plot twist so there's really not much I can say there. But the second thing, was the fact that a lot of the stuff in the book was very cliche. Such as the night club they went to "Hades." Really?! You couldn't think of anything else? lol And then there is her last name... Eden. Like "The Garden of Eden." I guess. I just think it may have been cooler had it been a little more original. But for the most part I overlooked it.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Embrace by Jessica Shirvington3 Stars (I liked it, but it was only okay) Product Details ISBN-13: 9781402271250 Publisher: Sourcebooks, Incorporated Publication date: 9/1/2012 Pages: 384 Sales rank: 464,054 Age range: 13 years Lexile: 0670L (what’s this?) Series: EmbraceSummary: Violet is turning 17 and her entire world is about to change. The man (definitely a man, 5 years or so older than she is), that she is in love with, Lincoln, is about to accidentally notify her of a HUGE secret. Violet is part angel. Not only is she part angel, but she will be hunted down by angels that have decided to defect to the same plane of existence as humans. These angels have come to this plane in order to have more influence on free will. The part angels, known as Grigori, are around purely to keep these angels in check. Violet’s powers are unlocking now that she has reached her birthday, but she has to make a choice if she wants to become a Grigori or not. The catch is that even if she chooses not to become Grigori these angels will hunt her down and kill her. Doesn’t sound much like free will to me! In the midst of this, Violet is pissed off at Lincoln because she says he lied to her by not telling her about the whole Grigori thing before she accidentally overhears it. Because she is all pissy with Lincoln, she ends up cuddling up close with Phoenix, an angel who dances with her on her birthday. Her entire attitude begins to change while she is with Phoenix, but he is definitely a big help to her learning her powers and how to control things. He eventually helps her transformation and mend some of the relationship with those around her.My thoughts: Alright, I’m starting out saying that I didn’t really like the book. I can not stand Violet. It has been awhile since I have disliked a character as if they were a real person. Usually when I dislike a character it is because of something that the author has done, Violet was well written because I disliked her as a person. This must be a triumph for the author. She has written a character that is so believable that I have had this reaction. Violet is so whiny and annoying that I wanted her to not come out ahead in the end. I was literally rooting for the angels to rip her apart.With that all said, I don’t think that the author did a great job with the love triangle. I felt like she was trying for the same type of angle as in the Hunger Games or Twilight where you clearly have fans for each of the boys, but it didn’t work. Lincoln is too weak a character and the interactions between him and Violet are not that awe-inspiring. She tells us that there is passion in the kiss, but I just didn’t feel it. Phoenix is hot and heavy, but not necessarily a likeable character. It’s clear that he has too much influence on the scenes in which they are together in and he comes across as creepy. Phoenix is my favorite character. I would rather read a book about him, but as a love interest it just doesn’t work for me. Plus, the sex scene between the two of them is fairly mature. It was a little stunning to me compared to a lot of the YA books that are available.Finally, the plot is predictable. I shouldn’t have to expand much on that, but the book emphasizes free will so much that I wish I would have been able to see other options for the characters. I wanted to be able to visualize other options that were viable. What viable options are there for Violet if she does not choose to become a Grigori? She other becomes one and gets full access to her powers or she doesn’t and doesn’t get full access to her powers. Regardless, she is going to be hunted down by angels. Where is the choice? Blah! That is so aggravating. After that “choice” is made (forcefully, of course), the big battle occurs with the already known villains. I bet you can guess what happens next.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I was very excited for this book but it left me feeling so disappointed. It was so hard to get through that I skimmed the last few chapters and returned it to the store. I really liked how the author approached the "angel" concept in a new way. I appreciated how Violet already knew Lincoln and how their storyline unfolded. I was intrigued by the character of Phoenix. I think the author did a good job setting up the storyline but a lack of interest in characters and a lack of development left them all feeling hollow to me. I was glad the author steered away from the usual, basic concept of YA paranormal and even delved into including the unforbidden use of sexual themes (the best part of this book, because it doesn't happen often enough). Overall, I enjoyed the storyline and the idea the author tried to get across; however the whole thing fell flat for me and I did not enjoy this book. Sorry to say, I will probably not be interested in the sequel either. There are just too many other ya paranormal "angel" books out there that I liked so much more.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    After reading Embrace, Jessica Shivington has now got to be one of my favourite authors. The book had me engrossed from the very beginning, I couldn’t put it down, Making it one of the quickest books that I have ever read.The story was one that you could very much get it to, knowing something was odd within Violet but not knowing what, her veins turning strange after a nightmare which happened the night before her seventeenth birthday.The man she loved, Lincoln did not seem to feel the same way about her, she lived in hope that he might one day fall in love with her. Will he? or will she fall in love with the exiled angel Phoenix?The book is very tense at times, remembering what life for my was at the age of seventeen but for the things that come to play in Violets life she had some really tough decisions to make and gruesome things to see.Reading the preview of Enticed, Jessica Shivington’s second book in the Violet Eden Chapters, I cannot wait for it to be published in the UK so I can see what will happen next in Violet’s life.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book captivated me. When I finished this book I was like "NO!I Need MORE!". This book made me cry, scream, and swoon. It completely destroyed my expectations that I had for this book.The begging was slow for like the first 4 chapters then it really picked up speed and I was addicted. The letter that was on the back cover of the book really got my attention. The Cover was really different from the e-book version.It was a lot of purple (I love purple) and the wispy wings, awesome!Violet:I love her. She starts out as a lonely girl with only 2 close friends that has basically raised herself. She's also been hardened by events in her past and because of that she also has this mantra to never run away from anything but to face anything no matter what. I love her transformation into a strong, fierce, & confident woman. There is a point where she is depressed and I enjoyed these parts as well.You would expect her to be super religious, since she's part angel but NO! She doesn't believe in god or in religion and this makes her more complex & interested.The Boys & Romance:The romance is steamy. Violet is caught between two amazing guys;Lincoln and Phoenix. Lincoln has been her friend for a while,nice,protective,good, & they share an intense connection. In the scheme of things he seems like the right choice for her. Yet they can never be together. Even though he lied to her he didn't do it to hurt her & she eventually comes around. Phoenix on the other hand is hot, as well, hell. He & Violet are ELECTRIC. Every time there together there are sparks, literally. He is a magnet and oh so BAD! Violet gives him something that can only be given once. Yet in the end he leaves her & betrays her.The battles were few but great. Every time I started reading it felt as if I was really there.The ending was sweet & it gave the first book closure. I am definitively looking forward to the next book!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Embrace is a must-read for lovers of paranormal romance! I was swept away by the characters, both good and evil! 5 reason count-down for why you HAVE to read Embrace! 5.)There is no down-time! Jessica Shirvington jumps straight to the action, and it just keeps on coming. 4.) The mythology in it is very interesting. I wrote my Masters Thesis on how popular culture treats religion, and there were so many references to stories from old religions that I just got swept away in the history! 3.) Violet is a kick-butt heroine, but she is also realistic. She really struggles with the realization that she's an angel, and even more, she struggles with controlling her powers. It's not a snap your fingers and she's awesome kind of thing. She has a difficult time growing into her powers, and she is still struggling near the end of the book--which means there's much more to come in the future! 2.) Phoenix--the oh-so-hot resident maybe good/maybe bad? guy. He is one of Violet's love interests. He's dark, foreboding, and mysterious--which I love. It's going to be interesting seeing how Phoenix turns out in the future books! I won't say much more about him because you MUST read it for yourself! 1.) Lincoln--yummy. He's Violet's other love interest, and he is just oh-so-adorable! He's the complete opposite of Phoenix, but I love him just as much! Again, I won't say any more because I don't want to spoil it...but, believe me, there is so much romance you're heart will never slow down! So...in conclusion--one more time--YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK!!!!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I was excited to read Embrace. But it was a bit of a let down. Not because the story wasn't interesting (it was), but because of some of the characters. I could not stand Violet. She annoyed me for about 95% of the book. When she finds out she's part angel, she flips. She's angry at Lincoln for not telling her and she's angry that her life can't be "normal" anymore regardless if she embraces her powers or not. She's just always angry, and most of that anger is towards Lincoln, and I really liked Lincoln, so that made me really dislike Violet. Also, Phoenix. I didn't like him from the beginning. He was a creeper and weird. I never understood why Violet hung around him or even wanted to be with him. Though, it is explained in the end, and I do understand why she made the choices she did, it still bugged me, to the point that it was like pulling teeth trying to read the book. I was also hoping for more growth in Lincoln and Violet's relationship. But that all get's thrown out when Violet feels 'betrayed' by Lincoln so I was stuck with creepy Phoenix the whole time while Violet was mad at Lincoln. Somethings I did like about the book: 1. Lincoln and Griffon. It's beyond me how these two characters could deal with Violet. They were always so calm and willing to explain everything and help whenever needed. And Violet was like the tornado spinning around them. 2. The mythology. This is a unique twist on angels, and I found it really interesting. 3. The story overall. I did enjoy the story, I just would have enjoyed it better if there was a different main character. So, overall I did enjoy the story. I just couldn't stand Violet and Phoenix, which made up most of the book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I had heard such great fan fare about this book that I dove into it thinking it was going to be unique and amazing. Early on I realized that it was "just another (fill in the blank: angel, vampire, werewolf, etc)" book. While I did really like Violet's strength and tenacity, I just wasn't all that interested in the storyline of light and dark angels. However, the writing is very good and I can see that this will certainly be a crowd pleaser for teen girls due to the romantic triangle between Vi, Lincoln and Phoenix. Two more books in this series are due out next year.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    If I were to describe EMBRACE by Jessica Shirvington in one word; I wouldn't be able to. That's because one word wouldn't cut it! It would have to be a bouquet of single words just to express how I felt after reading it. Amazing, warming, sad, thrilling, swoony, and so much more!Jessica has really impressed me on how she craftly portrayed a sort of conspiracy 'not always black or white' aspect on the whole angel theory. It is very original and I couldn't help but to be enthralled by its possibilities. It just makes me hungry for more of the history of angels. "Light" Angels are not always good - they can be prideful, stubborn, and egotistical; and equally, "Dark" Angels sway a balance into things that are not always 'bad/wrong/evil'. You just can't help but to be open eared and listen on to Jessica's angelic world. Violet's character is okay. I enjoyed her in the beginnning but in the rough parts nearing the end she made a lot of over-exaggerated mistakes. More so that I believe many readers will dislike her for this reason, but I'd just like to say that part of those stupid actions was because she was 'tainted' (trying not to give spoilers here). To those who have already read Embrace I hope you know which part I'm talking about. Anyways, Lincoln is a sweetheart and he was doing what he thought was right, but I think he was way too perfect to realistically believe in. Phoenix on the other hand, I am still fanning myself on how hot this guy is! So, I can't really say much about him because my senses are dulled by his awesomesauce! lol =) Dibs! He is swoon worthy for sure!Speaking about senses; I didn't really grasp that concept. In a way it's understandable, but I just don't comprehend why 'apples', and why 'always' the same smell and taste for every 'different' exile? I would have enjoyed a little more background on this. The trials and tribulations of Violet is awing for a girl of her age to be going through. I know she is flawed because of some of her actions, but that is what makes her an appealing character - her imperfections. No one is perfect and that is reality. Embrace by Jessica Shirvington is an action-packed journey that will take you away!By the end your heart will surely be captivated by one man! Who, will be up to you. A 2012 MUST READ!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This story had a darker tone than the usual fallen angel books I've read. It is beautifully written in the sense that you can feel what Violet was going through as if you were her yourself. All the characters are sculpted so realistically, and the story has such a great fluidity to it. At first, I couldn't understand Violet's feelings, I was angry with how she behaves in some of her situations but she is a young girl who finds out that the one guy she loves has been lying to her....so after marinating on the story and putting in that perspective, she is relatable. The males characters the are vying for her heart....Phoenix, an older fallen angel, who just happens to show up to pick up the pieces when Violet's world falls apart, and there is something dangerously mysterious about him. Personally, I found him to be a bit possessive, creepy and intense. Lincoln, her friend is sweet, young, understanding, and super cute. He is just like her, bound by the rules of a society she refuses to "embrace". I love the idea of this book, the Grigori, and the different levels of Angels. Overall, plot, characters, and everything....good read!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Embrace is an eye catcher from the start; it has such a beautifully simple cover that will grab or attention right away. I have had this book on my to read list for some time now, and have had some struggle getting to it. Now I am kicking myself for the delay that I have allowed in getting to it. Embrace is an exceptional read, and I am a new fan for The Violet Eden Chapters. I must warn readers that I would label this a Mature YA Paranormal Romance, because it does include so advanced sexual content. From the first line Violet's story is straight forward and enticing. At first glance, Violet is just your average everyday girl with a major crush; but as the story unfolds what we actually find is a deep seeded and dedicated love and thrilling story about a very special girl. As Violet travels this road of self-discovery readers will clutch desperately to the hope of resolution for this young girl. As her world crumbles further this glimmer of hope will slip away until it’s seems merely a fantasy. The raw emotion pouring from these pages will absorb readers into the story, and overwhelm them with a realistic experience that leaves them demanding more. This love triangle between Lincoln, Phoenix, and Violet is deeply troubling as we find ourselves caught in the web of truths and lies; one will remain standing but this will prove and unexpected surprise til the last moment. While seeing the good in both characters, and their absolute dedication to Violet it becomes harder and harder distinguish where loyalties lie. Shirvington has left off with a conclusion that will wrap up some loose ends, but leaves the future uncertain for where the next book will take us. Enticed is book two of The Violet Eden Chapters, and it is scheduled for release September of 2012. 
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    There have been many books that always leave me wanting more. This book, left me utterly hanging at the edge of my seat. I have never been more sad to see a book end. I did not want it to finish!This book. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!Let me gather me words here," The Bomb Diggity." That's right. This book is all kinds of awesome. What I loved about this book is the love interest. Straight up it held me. Friends for a long time, lies, betrayal and two hot boys fighting for her heart. What more could I ask for! From the very first page, I fell in love. The tension between the characters nearly gave me heart attack! I swear, it was getting hot up in here!The plot of the book is another great aspect to the story. Fresh and innovative, this is not another tale of angels. It's so much more than that. There is fighting, action, secrets and best of all, a love that can not be relinquished!Before I continue on yapping about this book, do yourself a favor and read it! READ IT!Embrace is an heart pounding story that is tense and suspenseful. The unique perspective of angels, hierarchy's and such, quenches the thirst for all angel stories. A mesmerizing, beautiful story, Embrace is complex, unpredictable and exhilarating!!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Review Courtesy of Dark Faerie TalesQuick & Dirty: A young woman, two beautiful older men, immeasurably powerful.Opening Sentence: Birthdays aren’t my thing.The Review:Violet Eden is a now 17-year-old teenage girl, who just wants to be a normal girl, with a normal life. Unfortunately for her, life isn’t always fair, and we can’t always get what we want (insert song lyrics here). You see it turns out that Violet is a Grigori, a half human-half angel with a destiny to protect the human race, and with powers beyond anyone’s imagination. Violet spends the majority of the book denying her fate, rejecting her powers and her place among the Grigori. When an unforeseen circumstance threatens to take away the only person that had mattered for so long, she must embrace her destiny and her powers to save him, and eventually save herself.Lincoln is a man with many secrets, and a soft spot for his soon to be life partner of sorts. Born the first half of this pair of Grigori, it is Lincoln’s job to prepare Violet for the life and trials ahead, and he seemingly does a decent job. That is, until Violet finds out what his true motives are, well some of them anyway, and she rejects him. Poor Lincoln is then forced to step back from his role in her life, and watch, guilt ridden and alone, as she fraternizes with the enemy, a rather shady guy named Phoenix.Phoenix is an exiled angel, with secrets of his own, and a not so pleasant past. Born the son of the original bad a**, Lilith, Phoenix drops into Violet’s life and takes advantage of her sadness, confusion and anger, turning her against those of her own kind. With ulterior motives, he seduces his way into Violet’s heart (as well as other places), at times stealing her free will, influencing her decisions and, apparently, actually tainting her very soul.I officially do not like this Phoenix character…emotionally that is. His character is rather well written, and excellent for the plotline and story, but boy does he make me angry. That boy needs a face slap, and his butt kicked as well. So I suppose this makes me firmly Team Lincoln. Though, Lincoln is certainly no hardship, let me tell you.Set in what appears to be present day inner-city, like New York or Chicago or somewhere, Embrace takes traditional religion, young adult fantasy, adventure, danger, love and deception and delivers it all in one tasty package. The characters, as I stated above, are all incredibly well-written, their storyline unique, the action, adventure and romance nicely done. I’d highly recommend this read for anyone. Oh, and I call dibs on these sequels too…see this Angela…DIBS Notable Scene:I wrapped my arms around my stomach, trying to ignore the most frightening sensation that was welling up inside me, pushing at the very fibers of my being: pure pleasure. Whoever, whatever, had done this had experienced ultimate joy in the process. And I could feel it too.Desperate to avert my gaze, I switched my attention back to the other body. This time I really saw it. I’d heard of it before, the way a person’s mind can somehow protect them from processing things that are too disturbing. The male, still dressed and moderately undisturbed, lay in a state of emptiness—not like he was dead, more like he was lost. Dead bodies are supposed to look like they are finally at rest, but I knew now what Griffin had meant when he said we would find no peace. There was none to be had. I stared at each one, horrified, my heart crying for them. I felt suffocated.As soon as I tasted apple on the tip of my tongue, I knew the rest of my senses would follow. I stumbled a few steps, trying to get away. It was futile.Images of morning and evening flashed before my eyes, blinding me. It was…violent. Painful. I dropped to my knees and screamed. I heard Lincoln cry out, though he didn’t touch me. I wanted to stop it, but I couldn’t. Cold heat rushed through my body. I felt like a rigid statue of ice with a volcano erupting from within. I could hear my screams—worlds away.My back arched, my arms falling behind me, dangling to the ground, my knuckles grazing the concrete floor.An arm encircled my waist, holding me up as I arched back even farther. Another hand gripped the side of my face, keeping me still. I felt myself slipping away, losing myself to the senses. I tried to concentrate, tried to remember what Phoenix had told me. Emotion. I needed to control my emotions. Or distract them with something that could totally consume me.I hoped it was Lincoln’s arm around my waist.“Kiss me,” I whispered.The hands on my face froze. Another wave of the senses pummeled through me.“Kiss me, please!” This time I was screaming.He slammed into me, crashing through barriers. So perfectly molded to my mouth, he pushed my lips apart and…we melted. The same cool, pure breeze I had felt after Lincoln had touched me when I first held the wristband galloped through my body, through my soul. It blew the overpowering smell of flowers away like a breeze through a field. I felt the apple fade until all I could taste was his very real mouth. My body poured the cool heat and humming energy into him, until he absorbed it all. The birds circled us and flew into the distance.He pulled me closer. Kneeling in front of me, he kissed me intensely and I felt…right. Morning and evening slipped away. It was just us. Silence surrounded us. My heart leapt and I kissed him back, knowing so truly that I loved him. My heart cried and I pulled away, knowing so truly that he had betrayed me.I fell to the ground.He fell to the ground.I cried.He screamed.The Violet Eden Chapters Series:1. Embrace2. Enticed3. Emblaze4. EndlessFTC Advisory: Sourcebooks Fire provided me with a copy of Embrace. No goody bags, sponsorships, “material connections,” or bribes were exchanged for my review.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars! I honestly had to stop re-reading Embrace just to start this review! It's the kind of book that catches your attention from page one and keeps it long even after the last page is turned. Make sure that you have lots of time when you start this because you won't be able to put it down!Embrace is about angels, but it's in no way just another angel book! There are Grigori, and angel exiles, and sacrifices needed to embrace their power. It was so easy to get sucked into the twisting plot with the awesome angel lore — it was enthralling and original to say the least!Violet was the perfect main character for this novel! She was so strong and resilient even when things were completely messed up, and my heart broke for her several times. And Lincoln (♥) and Phoenix deserve every swoon-worthy sigh they get! The romance — sweet and sensual and a little bit dangerous — just tore me apart. Totally enticing and 100% entertaining, Embrace is a book you don't want to miss! It doesn't end on a cliffhanger but I still wish I had the next book with me right now. I can already tell that this series is going to be amazing! :)BUY or BORROW?: You definitely want to own this book so you can re-read it like I already have! And I'm going to get a finished copy just so I can have that gorgeous purple cover on my shelf! ;)
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have read many books about Angels, mostly disappointing ones but this book was truly well worth it. You may also know Jessica Shirvington as Olympic sprinter Matt Shirvington wife but now she has debut as a YA author.This beautifully written novel is enthralling; the writing literally draws you into the magic of the book. The story itself was very compelling; holding a lot of sexual tension and romance. I was very into the whole fantasy element; I think that’s what kept me from putting down the book. The writing uses a lot of imagery and graphic too, so you can always imagine what’s going on in the story.The characters weren’t the best I’ve seen but they were bearable. Violet is a strong girl that in some sense, knows what she wants but half the time, I found it really hard to relate to her. I’m not sure why, yes, she is a kick-butt heroine but maybe it was just the way she dealt with things. All I could give to her was my sympathy for her struggle with her Angelic nature. Then there is Lincoln and Phoenix. Two guys, one girl, sound familiar? A love triangle! Normally I would start picking sides right about now but I can’t make up my mind.This book can be very deep at times. The concept of good vs. evil is very enthralling and so is Angel Lore. Sometimes the hierarchy of angels was a bit hard to understand but thankfully there was a diagram at the end.What a remarkable debut! I’m definitely read for the next book Enticed and Emblazed!Rating: 4 out of 5
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Violet was just an ordinary girl with a normal life. Raised by a single father who was a workaholic she spent a lot of time alone and if not for best friend Steph, who was always trying to get her to the mall, her social life would be almost non-existent. So there were some parts of her life that were a little less ordinary like her relationship with Lincoln, whom she spent all her time training with. Over all it was normal and it was hers.On her sixteenth birthday however Violet makes a few discoveries about her life that are anything but normal, and the one person she had trusted to be there for her is the one person responsible for keeping secrets from her. Her normal world was shattered, with Lincoln gone and Phoenix always turning up just when he is needed, Violet must make a choice to either reject her destiny in favour of the life she had worked so hard to achieve, or embrace a life she does not want.Embrace is more then just a story of angels, theology and good verses evil, it is a story of a girl caught between two world and two boys, struggling to discover who she is and her place in the world. It is through her strengths that she is able to find the power to save not only herself and the ones she loves but also those who have hurt her most. A lovely book that shows that you don't have to believe in the impossible, you just have to have faith that it is possible.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    *Whilst Embrace is a well written debut novel (from Australian author Jessica Shirvington) which has all the elements that make up a story I should love - hot boys, a love triangle and a dash of fantasy – I found there was something lacking due to my inability to sympathize or connect with the two main male leads who were quite frankly pretty dodgy*I’m doing a little bit of a change in my reviewing style for this review as surprisingly the blurb pretty much sums up most of the events in the book, I don’t want to give the rest away, so I’m going to skip the whole blurby goodness I usually do and go straight to my bookish thoughts.Okay so first off I thoroughly enjoy a good love triangle and this book is basically Violet swinging between Lincoln and Phoenix, two hot males (so if you don’t love a good ol’ love triangle this book probably isn’t for you at all), however for the whole love triangle to work I have to actually like the characters and I didn’t really which was a shame because I really wanted to, I tried oh how I tried, but in the end both male leads were not very endearing, they both were shall I say douchey even their hotness could not make me like them very much. Take Lincoln he kept this huge life changing secret from Violet then when she found out this secret he wanted to give her ‘space’ to think about it even though he knew Phoenix, an exiled angel (which are apparently really bad as they want to kill Grigori), was itching to get him some Violet, I mean can you say weiner that boy really needed to grow some and protect his woman! Then we have Phoenix who was dark and broodingly handsome but just as bad as Lincoln because the nut was manipulating Violet’s feelings influencing how she felt towards himself and Lincoln which in my view was pretty bad, especially when he popped her cherry, in the bush no less! So basically as you can tell I didn’t really like both Lincoln or Phoenix that much but if I had to choose one it would probably be Phoenix as even though he didn’t handle the whole situation well he did kind of redeem himself in the end after what he did, I mean he should have done it anyway but he didn’t have to, plus he was so much hotter than Lincoln, in my opinion anyway.Then we have Violet, ahh Violet, Violet, Violet, where to begin. Well her ridiculous stance towards Lincoln’s lying and then trusting Phoenix even though he lied to her too, it made no sense to me, can someone say double standards and believe me I cannot stand people who have double standards, it makes me so frustrated, arghh! I was also surprised she let Phoenix pop her cherry (don’t you love that expression? It’s my new favourite expression!) I mean the girl was pining over Lincoln for ages plus she also had some trouble with a male teacher when she was younger, so I still don’t know why she did it, it just didn’t make sense to me especially from what we knew of her character, perhaps it was because of Phoenix influencing her but still I don’t know.Apart from Violet, Lincoln and Phoenix we were introduced to a few secondary characters however they weren’t involved too much in the story at all. We had Violet’s father who basically left Violet up to her own devices most of the time (bad parenting anyone? For once I would love a decent parent who actually cared about what their kids were doing), Violet’s boy crazy shhhh I’m real smart friend Steph who to tell you the truth I cant remember too much about apart from the fact that she found out about Violet being a Grigori in a busy shopping centre food court of all places and Griffin, who looks after and guides the Grigori under his care in the city. There was also some really bitchy Grigori, her name escapes me at this moment, who was a wee bit jealous of Violet as she wasn’t impressed with Lincoln’s lovey dovey feelings towards Violet even though it was painfully obvious Lincoln was like totally in love with Violet, he’s a one woman man alright!Now you may be reading this and think ohhh you must not have enjoyed this book at all, well not true, I did, I really did, I mean the main characters were a bit dodgy but overall it wasn’t a bad read. The whole premise behind the Grigori and exiled angles was quite interesting, that said I did get a tad confused at times about the whole angel hierarchy so it was good a hierarchical map was included so whenever I needed an angel hierarchy refresher I simply turned to the hierarchical map and voila! There was also some interesting discussion as to the whole ‘good’ and ‘bad’ labels we give people, we tend to lump things into ‘good’ and ‘bad’ however it’s usually not so clear cut, good people can do bad things and bad people can do good things. I also found the book to be well written especially considering this is Jessica Shirvington’s first novel, she can sure write some good ol’ romance scenes for sure!So basically whilst Embrace is not a deep novel (but you already probably knew that, its fantasy which is meant to whisk you away and yes it did that for me) and I didn’t really connect with any of the main characters, it was well written and definitely shows some promise. I’ll probably read the next book in the series, what can I say I’m a glutton for these kind of books, I want to find out if Lincoln and Violet can ever actually be together!Rating3.5 out of 5There’s Another Book?!?Jessica has signed a three book deal with Hachette Australia so there are at least two more books in the series, however with that said in an interview with Tina over at Book Couture Jessica said there will be 4 books in the series so I’m not sure!The second book in the series Enticed will be released in 2011, here’s a little bit on what we can expect -Violet continues to discover and do battle with her angelic nature within – will this nature ensure that any choices she makes stay true to the path of her pre-determined destiny?
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Violet Eden’s mother died in child birth, and took a secret with her to the grave. That is, until Violet’s seventeenth birthday, when her dad gives her a cryptic letter from her mother, having been instructed to wait until her seventeenth birthday to do so. Now things are changing for Violet, and she’s learning things about herself and the world she thought she knew; she’ll find out just how unaware of reality she truly is. It’s actually a feat that I remained so in the dark about this book—I’d never even heard of it till my friend bought it and let me have the first read, and boy am I glad she found it. This book was even more than I hoped it would be, so captivating and enticing (Entice happens to be the title of the next book in the series, by the way—see how I worked that in there?). This is without a doubt one of the best angelically based stories I’ve come across. 5/5 stars ;)

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    This book, actually the heroine, drove me crazy. One of my biggest pet peeves when comes to books is a protagonist I can't seem to find any redeeming quality in to like. Violet Eden is the angriest character I've every come across in a book. I tried to chock up her anger to life experiences but it wasn't believable, her anger mostly seemed overdone or unnecessary. Even her reactions to things seems inappropriate to the situation. When Violet was told she is half angel, she underreacted to the news and accepted quickly, but finding out Lincoln, her friend and the guy she's completely in love with kept it from her for two years, she overreacted. I didn't buy her acceptance of who she is to come so quickly, and how betrayed she was by Lincoln for not telling her two years ago. She wouldn't see the signs of what she would become until she turns seventeen, so I could see the logic in not burdening her with the information too early, and she would just think he was crazy then.

    Violet lost her mother to childbirth and a teacher attacked her when she was fifteen, so I tried to excuse her anger to those past experiences. And her father, after seventeen years, while being a good Dad, was pretty much absent emotionally still dealing with the loss her mother. But there was something about Violet's anger that didn't fit with these experiences, it seemed created not real and bitchy most of the time. It got worse when Violet's anger got so out of control and seemed too much. All of her anger was focused on one person, Lincoln, and became irrational. In the last few chapters I found out that her emotions were tampered with and all my stress over dealing with this protagonists was minimized just a bit. I guess it was easy to tap into the anger she already had for Lincoln. I'm not sure exactly when her her emotions were effected because her blaming Lincoln for almost dying and having her to make her decision to Embrace just to save his life was another thing that, yes, angered me. I yelled at my kindle, saying "Just let him die then if your just going to blame him for making you make this decision". I know, I know, I sound angry, but that was the emotion this book brought out in me and I would have loved to feel more than one emotion reading this or any book.

    There are many different kinds of angels in this story and it took some time to grasp all the information being thrown at me. Some are exiled angels who can be light or dark. Violet met Phoenix, an exiled angel who she didn't think to find out if he was light or dark. I never trusted Phoenix but I knew I like him as a character through Violet's eyes, unlike her. He was obviously lying or holding back information from her but she found it easier to be around him and accept his secrets. I'm not sure why to tell the truth, I think she likes the way he looks and was blinded by that.

    Not sure if it would be possible for me to like or enjoy hearing from a character who says she's not herself unless she's angry. I can accept this emotion from a character but I would expect more personality, not someone so one dimensional. By the third chapter I wasn't sure if I could continue to listen to Violet's voice but I kept going in hopes that it might change and the story was definitely not boring. Her voice kept pissing me off but the story did get more interesting as it went along. So the redeeming quality was the story itself, a good concept on the angel genre and other interesting characters.

    1 person found this helpful

Book preview

Embrace - Jessica Shirvington

Copyright

Copyright © 2010 by Jessica Shirvington

Cover and internal design © 2012 by Sourcebooks, Inc.

Cover design by Andrea C. Uva

Cover photography by Patrick Fleischman

Sourcebooks and the colophon are registered trademarks of Sourcebooks, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems—except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews—without permission in writing from its publisher, Sourcebooks, Inc.

The author and publisher would like to thank the following for permission to use copyright material: Canongate Books, Edinburgh, for a quotation from Love Poem in Rebel Without Applause by Lemn Sissay; Princeton University Press, Princeton, for a quotation from Collected Works of Carl Jung by Carl Jung; St. Mark’s Press, Pavenham, for a quotation from William Barclay; Transaction Publishers, New Jersey, for a quotation from The Public Philosophy by Walter Lippmann.

The author and publisher would also like to acknowledge the following works from which the author has quoted: Zohar III, 19a by Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai; The Desert Has Twelve Things by Mechthild of Magdeburg; New American Standard Bible; God’s Word to the Nations; the Holy Bible: International Standard Version; the Holy Bible: English Standard Version; and the King James Bible.

Every endeavor has been made on the part of the publisher to contact copyright holders not mentioned above, and the publisher will be happy to include a full acknowledgment in any future edition.

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

Published by Sourcebooks Fire, an imprint of Sourcebooks, Inc.

P.O. Box 4410, Naperville, Illinois 60567-4410

(630) 961-3900

Fax: (630) 961-2168

teenfire.sourcebooks.com

Originally published in Australia and New Zealand in 2010 by Hachette Australia.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is on file with the publisher.

Front Cover

Title Page

Copyright

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-one

Chapter Twenty-two

Chapter Twenty-three

Chapter Twenty-four

Chapter Twenty-five

Chapter Twenty-six

Chapter Twenty-seven

Chapter Twenty-eight

Chapter Twenty-nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-one

Chapter Thirty-two

Chapter Thirty-three

Chapter Thirty-four

Chapter Thirty-five

Chapter Thirty-six

Angel Hierarchy

A preview of Entice

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Back Cover

For Matt,

who showed me that true love is possible

(even at seventeen), and our girls, Sienna and Winter,

who shine new light on the world and make

every day better than the last.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Ephesians 6:12

Outside, among your fellows, among strangers, you must preserve appearances, a hundred things you cannot do; but inside, the terrible freedom!

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Birthdays aren’t my thing.

It’s hard to get too excited about the day that marks the anniversary of your mother’s death. It’s not that I blame myself for her not being here. No one could have known she wouldn’t survive childbirth. It’s not that I miss her either. I mean, I never knew her in the first place. But it is the one day each year that at some point I’ll be forced to ask myself, Was it worth it? Was my life worth taking hers?

I stared out the bus window, avoiding. Steph was blabbering on, something about the perfect dress, completely absorbed in what she was saying. She was relentless when it came to the science of shopping. I could feel her watching me, disappointed with my cheer level. Buildings flashed past through the frame of the smudged glass and I couldn’t help but wish my seventeenth birthday tomorrow would slide by in the same hazy blur.

Violet Eden! Steph said sternly, sucking me out of my trance. We have your dad’s Amex, a green light, and no specified limit. Her mock rebuke morphed into a devious grin. What more could a girl want as a birthday present?

Technically, it was my Amex. My name, my signature. It just happened to be connected to Dad’s account. A by-product of being the only person at home who actually bothered to pay any bills.

I knew Steph wouldn’t understand if I told her I wasn’t in the mood, so I lied. I can’t go shopping today. I…um…I have a training session.

She raised her eyebrows at me. For a moment I thought she was going to call me out on my fake alibi. But then she segued onto a topic we seemed to be discussing more and more often as of late.

With Lincoln?

I shrugged, trying not to let on how much just the mention of Lincoln affected me. Although the training part wasn’t true, I did have plans to see him later on and was already doing my best not to keep a minute-by-minute countdown.

Steph rolled her eyes. Honestly, one of these days I’m gonna tell him you’d prefer to get all hot and sweaty with him in a different kind of way! She threw me her bitchy smile—something she usually reserves for other people.

I sat back and let her vent. It was easier that way. Steph didn’t get it and I couldn’t blame her—I’d never told her all of the reasons why training was so important to me. Some things are just too hard to talk about.

"You do realize you’re turning into some kind of sports geek, don’t you? And don’t pretend you actually like them all. I know for a fact that you hate long-distance running." Steph couldn’t understand how anyone would rather go rock climbing or boxing in place of shopping.

I get a kick out of training with him, I said, hoping to put an end to the conversation, even though she wasn’t completely off base about the running. If I didn’t have Lincoln’s butt to stare at the whole time, motivation would be a lot harder to come by.

I busied myself by rummaging through my backpack, which was jammed with all the books they force you to take home on the last day before break. Steph didn’t seem put off.

It’s like he’s training you for battle or something. Her eyes lit up. Hey, maybe he has some underground fight club and he’s grooming you!

That’s it, Steph. Definitely.

I didn’t want to be talking about this, didn’t want to have to admit the round-the-clock desire I had to be with Lincoln. It was like something deep within me found comfort in his presence.

Crushing with the best of ’em, Vi!

Too bad it was a lost cause. It had been that way ever since the moment I’d first met him two years ago. He was a late entry into a self-defense class I’d signed up for. When he was partnered with me, what I thought was going to be another mediocre attempt on my part to get fit and strong became so much more.

I never found out why Lincoln had taken the class. He clearly knew more than the instructor, moving through the exercises with the kind of ease and grace that made it clear he was in another league. After the first couple of weeks, when I was finally able to string more than two words together around him, I asked him why he was there. He shrugged it off, saying it was always good to do a refresher class.

By the end of the three-month course, I was learning more from him than from the instructor, and he offered to give me some kickboxing lessons. Now I get the best of both worlds. I get stronger every day—our list of activities has expanded to include rock climbing, running, even an archery course—and I get to hang out with Lincoln. It’s perfect…almost.

Well, I guess that means we’re going shopping tomorrow then. Steph pouted but couldn’t keep it up. She can never stay mad for long.

Unfortunately, she was right. I knew Dad had given her strict instructions, due to my lack of spirit and his lack of know-how, to make sure I had a new dress for my birthday dinner tomorrow night. The clock was ticking—shopping was inevitable.

I can’t wait, I said, flashing her a well-practiced fake smile from my birthday repertoire.

As the bus slowed for its next stop, Steph stood up from our seat, three rows from the back. She was convinced only the wannabes sat right at the back, the geeks at the front, and the goths/weirdos right behind them. That left about three rows we could work with, the ones that apparently put us in the not-trying-to-but-can’t-help-being-cool section. The ironic thing was, if judged purely on academic achievements, Steph was the biggest geek I knew. Of course, she never publicized the fact that she was some kind of borderline genius.

She wrapped her narrow frame around the metal pole near the doors, donned her favorite pair of D&G sunglasses, and blew me a kiss. I laughed. Luckily for me, Steph wasn’t only a label girl. For all the designer clothes she paraded around in, she was surprisingly balanced. The fact that she was from a seriously moneyed-up family and was usually wearing something that cost more than my entire wardrobe didn’t adversely affect our friendship. I didn’t overly care for material possessions and she didn’t overly care that I didn’t.

Do me a favor? she said, making her way out the door, unfazed by the logjam of kids sardined behind her. While you’re drooling over Mr. Fantastic, make sure you jab him in the gut a few times for taking up all your free time and depriving me of my bff.

Sure thing, I said, blowing her a kiss back and ignoring the twinge of guilt I felt about lying to my best friend.

I have set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth.

Genesis 9:13

Instead of going home to an empty apartment, I found myself walking toward Dad’s offices. I wasn’t sure why. On my way up to the fourth floor, my phone beeped with a text message from Lincoln.

Running a bit late. Meet at my place around 7?

I smiled at the phone, my fingers fumbling over the keypad quickly.

Yep—see you there!

Then I deleted the exclamation mark and counted to thirty before I allowed myself to press send.

It was bittersweet, my relationship with Lincoln. Like always, as soon as the elation of hearing from him subsided, the reality of our friendship hit home. It would be nice if he was offering a date, but he was really only granting me entry to his warehouse abode—there was a gigantic wall there just begging to be painted and Lincoln had finally agreed to relinquish it to me. The most I could hope for in between coats of primer was a meal. Though I’d tried to reassure Lincoln that coffee and two-minute noodles are a well-balanced diet of dairy and carbohydrates, he remained unconvinced. Since Dad was never around at dinnertime, Lincoln had recently started inviting me back to his place for dinner before dropping me home. I had to admit, even though it wasn’t romantic at all—we mostly just went over training exercises—it was nice to have someone to talk to instead of eating alone.

Dad’s company took up the entire fourth floor. When the elevator doors opened, I spotted the familiar stainless-steel Eden Architects sign that had greeted me for the past eight years.

Hi, Caroline, I said, walking up to the reception area. Is he in?

Dad’s receptionist smiled at me and raised her eyebrows. Where else would he be?

I found Dad in his office, cemented behind his drawing desk, reams of paper unraveled in front of him. It was an image synonymous with my dad and one that I’d had to accept a long time ago. I used to fight it—or rather, fight for his attention—but the truth was, the minute I had his full attention, I always felt suffocated by it anyway.

He was completely absorbed in whatever he was doing, and by the look of him, he’d been there awhile—tie gone, sleeves rolled up, ruler in one hand, pencil hanging loosely from his mouth. I was willing to bet that when he stepped away from the desk, he’d reveal shoeless feet.

I made it into the middle of his office without him even noticing.

Hey, Dad, I said with a wave.

He looked up and smiled, running a hand through his salt-and-pepper hair as if it could somehow release him from a world of lines, angles, and light reflections. He pushed his pencil behind his ear and emerged from behind his desk—socks only.

Hi, sweetheart. He cleared his throat. This is a nice surprise. Ah…How was your day?

I hated that I could hear it, but there it was, same as always: the voice that said, I’m glad you’re here, but I’m really in the middle of something I don’t want to be distracted from.

I swallowed and pushed through it. It was all I could do. I knew if he knew I could hear it, he’d be mortified.

Great! I said, beaming with my news. I got into the Fenton art course. It starts just after graduation. Finding out had been the main motivator for going to school today. The last day before break is usually a blow-off, and Dad never enforced attendance. Well…Dad never enforced anything. But I had been waiting for months to find out if I’d gotten in, and seeing my name on the short list of two had made the day well worthwhile.

He gave me his genuine Dad-of-pride smile. Of course you did! There was never any doubt. You take after your mom. His voice broke a little at the end. She’d been an artist too. He was rarely the one to bring her up. Like me, he preferred to leave painful things buried. It was easier that way…and harder. But the fact was, nothing was going to fix him. Her death had broken him completely.

Thanks, Dad, I said, eager for a change of subject.

He straightened abruptly and came toward me, then, reconsidering, went back to his desk and sat behind it, gripping the sides as if to bolt himself down. Dad was finally losing it.

I know it’s technically not your birthday until tomorrow, but I’d like to give you something now. He clicked his jaw from side to side, something he does when he has a deadline approaching or a big proposal going on. Then he took a deep breath and put his hand down on the desk decisively. Nudging his wrist was the one personal item Dad keeps in his office: a sculpture of a white door with red graffiti over the front of it saying, No nannies allowed! It was the first and only artwork we had ever done together.

By the time I turned thirteen, Dad had caused seven nannies to quit by not getting home on time, forgetting to pay them regularly, and expecting them to work weekends. I had dispatched eleven. What can I say, they weren’t up to the job. On the day nanny number nineteen threw a hissy fit and stormed out, Dad and I pulled out some clay and decided: no more. From then on, it’s been just us. Or rather, just me.

Dad, I don’t want any more gifts, I whined. Dinner and the soon-to-be-bought dress were already more than I wanted. Tomorrow was the only day of the year I didn’t want presents.

It’s not from me, he said quietly, looking away from me. He opened the bottom drawer in his desk—the only one that required a key. His movements were slow, almost pained. He lifted a small wooden box from the drawer and gently placed it on his desk. His hand trembled over the intricate carvings that decorated the lid.

My eyes began to sting and I had to blink quickly. Dad rarely allowed his emotions this kind of exposure. He raised his hand and, as it hovered in the air above the box, he made a fist and closed his eyes. It looked as if he were praying—something I knew he didn’t do. I had only ever seen one thing make him look like that.

Finally, he looked up at me with a small smile. I blinked again.

I was given instructions. I’ve waited seventeen years to give this to you. It’s from Evelyn…It’s from your mom.

My mouth gaped involuntarily. But…how?

Mom’s death had been unexpected—a hemorrhage during childbirth that couldn’t have been foreseen. She couldn’t possibly have left something behind with instructions.

Dad pinched the bridge of his nose then rested his hand under his chin. I honestly don’t know, sweetheart. That night, after I came home from the hospital—he motioned to the small box—"this was on the top of her chest of drawers. There was a note resting on it that said, For our girl on her 17th birthday. He took a deep breath. Perhaps she was just organized; perhaps…I don’t know…She was an extraordinary woman…She sensed things others couldn’t."

Are you saying you think she knew what was going to happen?

I’m not saying that, sweetheart, he said, absentmindedly caressing the box. And anyway, that’s not the point. She wanted you to have this and it was important to her that it be now. He pushed the box across the desk toward me, standing as he did. I’ll…uh…I’ll give you some privacy.

He slipped into his shoes and quietly left me alone in the office. He had his hands in his pockets and looked so…alone. It occurred to me that Mom wouldn’t be too impressed with where we had ended up.

The box was beautiful. It was a rich, dark mahogany with splices of illuminating gold breaking through. The carvings on the top were detailed and finely crafted to create not a picture but a pattern, a sequence of wispy feather tips. The artist in me appreciated it instantly.

I’d never been given a gift by my mother. She’d never made me warm milk, never wiped away my tears or put a Band-Aid on me. She hadn’t saved me from the embarrassing outing with my nanny to buy my first bra, and she hadn’t left me with a nifty stash of tampons in the bathroom cupboard that would never run out and that I’d never have to talk about. There were a lot of things I’d never get from her, but I’d accepted that a long time ago. Finally receiving something from her, something purposely left for me and only me, was…awkward.

I sat down in Dad’s chair and ran my fingers over the top of the engravings as he had done. A shiver ran down my body. I wriggled in the chair and shook my hand out. Get a grip, Vi.

When I opened the box, my heart sank. A tiny silver chain with a small amulet lay inside. The last time I’d seen my baby necklace, it had been tucked away in the trinket box on my dressing table. Apparently, Mom had it made for me while she was pregnant as some kind of good luck charm. In every one of my baby photos, I’m wearing this necklace. Dad had made sure Mom’s wishes were followed—and then some.

Obviously, Dad had taken it from my dressing table. I started to wonder whether the rest of the contents of the box were from him, but then I dismissed the thought. He’d never felt the need for fake gifts before. It just wasn’t his style.

I pulled two envelopes out of the box. Both were still sealed, though they were yellowed and worn with marks of consideration along the edges. It must have killed Dad to have known about them for seventeen years and not know what was inside them. I wondered how many times he had run his fingers along the seals, contemplating tearing them open. It was impressive that he hadn’t succumbed.

I opened the first envelope. Inside was a page torn from a book. It was a poem.

You must love no-thingness,

You must flee something,

You must remain alone,

And go to nobody.

You must be very active

And free of all things.

You must deliver the captives

And force those who are free.

You must comfort the sick

And yet have nothing yourself.

You must drink the water of suffering

And light the fire of Love with the wood of the virtues.

Thus you live in the true desert.

It was pretty, I guess, in a sad and surprisingly religious kind of way. From what little I knew, Mom hadn’t been religious. She’d hated anything that pigeonholed people’s beliefs. I’d only been baptized because Dad’s family had insisted and he liked the idea of my attending the same high school he had.

I opened the second envelope. Inside was a handwritten letter. The writing was confident: long letters, curling like old-fashioned calligraphy. My hands quivered slightly, holding the piece of paper last held by my mother.

My girl,

Happy 17th birthday. I wish I could be there with you, but I think if you are reading this…I am not. For that, I am sorry. The day your dad and I found out we were going to have a baby was the happiest day of my long life. I know the only day that will exceed that joy will be the day you are born—no matter how that day ends.

A big decision lies ahead. The burden of the covenant is a heavy one to bear. Choose with your heart, for I already know that you, my girl, must let your heart guide the way.

Believe in the unbelievable—for it will not wait for you—and know that nothing is ever as simple as good and evil, right and wrong. There are spirits in this world that are not like us, my girl. In their rightful place, they are wonderful and terrible, valiant and wicked—and that is okay, for we need both. Keep your eyes open, but do not trust everything they show you. Imagination is their highway; free will is ours.

Remember always, everyone has a place of perfect belonging, and if they leave that place without permission, sometimes they must be returned.

I love you. Please forgive me.

Mom

Methodically, I refolded the letter and the poem, placing them back into their respective envelopes, concentrating on each function carefully so as not to think beyond, focusing my mind to slow down and not go places I couldn’t handle. Not yet. It was a skill I had taught myself through practice, practice, practice.

The last thing in the box was a wristband. It was made of thick leather, though it looked metallic, with some type of distressed silver finish. It was roughly an inch and a half wide and had similar engravings to the box. It was mesmerizing, more handsome than pretty. Beside it was an identical circular mark on the wooden base where the varnish had worn away. At some point, this box had held a twin to this band.

I picked up the wristband, ignoring the fact that my mouth and eyes were watering. My nose was running too, although I could swear I smelled perfume. Something floral? I wondered if it was her smell, impossibly contained in the box for all this time. I pushed the thought aside. And then, just as quickly, another took its place.

The letter. She’d known she was going to die.

No, I couldn’t think about it. Not now. Dad would be back any minute. I needed to stay in control, not let this derail me. I wasn’t sure what the letter meant anyway. A big decision? Maybe college? It could be anything. She probably just left it as a precaution—every mother wants her child to believe anything is possible. As for the bit about her long life, I didn’t understand that. How could anyone think her life had been long? She was only twenty-five when I was born…when she died.

I wiped a hand under my runny nose and placed all of the items back in the box in the same order. When Dad came back, I’d packed it away into my bag and moved to the couch.

He hesitated. Are you okay? he asked.

Yeah, good…fine…yep. There was a letter. Do you want to read it? I really didn’t want to give it to him. It was nice to have something of my own from her, even if it was strange, but I knew that seventeen years of suspense was enough torment for anyone.

Dad smiled, lines creasing in the corners of his eyes, but his shoulders dropped. No, it’s okay, he said.

Oh crap. I didn’t know how to handle it if Dad actually cried. But he recovered, clearing his throat and tilting his head to the ceiling. No, honey. It’s between you and your mom. But…thank you for offering.

Apparently, the offer was enough.

Well, like you said, I think she was just prepared. It was one of those…follow-your-heart letters. I said it like I got them all the time.

Don’t be cynical, he chastised me, though I knew he loved the fact that I was just as cynical as he was.

He sat next to me and put a hand on my knee. I put my hand on top of his. We were silent for a moment.

So… he said finally, as we both moved our hands away. What are you doing tonight?

Going to Lincoln’s. Got a wall to paint.

Finally gave in, did he?

Yep. Victory was definitely sweet.

Right…sure. So you’ll be going there straight after this, then? he asked, a lilt in his voice that normally meant he was about to tell me something I didn’t want to hear.

Yes, I said, dragging out the word.

Oh, good. You know, actually, I bumped into Lincoln today when I was out getting a sandwich. His eyes drifted around the room and he stood up and went to his desk, suddenly very intent on a stack of papers.

What did you do, Dad? My heart skipped a few beats and I had an awful feeling I knew where this was going.

Nothing. Nothing. We were just talking about you guys, you know, your training. Lincoln said you were running in a marathon next month with him. That sounds like fun. He strained a smile. And…um…he asked me about work, which was nice of him and…you know…

"No. You know what?"

"Well, I said, mentioned really, that you…well, that you’d been through a tough time at your old school and…ah, you know…that maybe he could bear that in mind…He is five years older than you, Vi. I just didn’t want you to feel pressured. I didn’t plan it, I just bumped into him and…Christ, he said, getting more and more flustered. Your mother was on my mind and I thought she’d want me to, you know…say something."

Someone kill me now! From heartfelt moments to this!

I stood, moving to the far side of the room. The tension in the air was palpable. Neither one of us liked talking about

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