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    They Left Us Everything: A Memoir
    They Left Us Everything: A Memoir
    They Left Us Everything: A Memoir
    Audiobook8 hours

    They Left Us Everything: A Memoir

    Written by Plum Johnson

    Narrated by Pilar Witherspoon

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    A warm, heartfelt memoir of family, loss, and a house jam-packed with decades of goods and memories. After almost twenty years of caring for elderly parents-first for their senile father, and then for their cantankerous ninety-three-year old mother-author Plum Johnson and her three younger brothers have finally fallen to their middle-aged knees with conflicted feelings of grief and relief. Now they must empty and sell the beloved family home, twenty-three rooms bulging with history, antiques, and oxygen tanks. Plum thought: How tough will that be? I know how to buy garbage bags. But the task turns out to be much harder and more rewarding than she ever imagined. Items from childhood trigger difficult memories of her eccentric family growing up in the 1950s and '60s, but unearthing new facts about her parents helps her reconcile those relationships, with a more accepting perspective about who they were and what they valued. They Left Us Everything is a funny, touching memoir about the importance of preserving family history to make sense of the past, and nurturing family bonds to safeguard the future.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRecorded Books, Inc.
    Release dateJul 19, 2016
    ISBN9781501930393
    They Left Us Everything: A Memoir

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    Reviews for They Left Us Everything

    4/5

    86 ratings12 reviews

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    • 5/5
      If there were 10 stars, I would have given it 10! What a great memoir!! Loved everything about it- and it brought back memories of the same situation w/ my family! Leave the mess for the kids... that's where the stories are!! EXCELLENT!
    • 5/5
      I wish I could give this book 10 stars. Before I review, I would like to suggest that anyone going thru grief,estate,dispersal, or a parent dying,this book is a good read for you. I was hesitant to read this book as this moment in time.Like the author,I am grieving the recent death of a parent and going thru the the process of grief and dispersal etc. Ironically, the locale for the author's family story is not far from my own home.It involves their long loved "cottage", all 23 rooms of it on the shores of Lake Ontario.The parents were unique and had a great story to learn about. The father strict but loving, the mother more eclectic. This turned out to be a cathartic read. Many of my own thoughts and emotions on loss and death confirmed by the author's own thoughts and feelings. Her story is one of family-love and struggle,ancestry,loyalty,faith,humour and survival.She and her siblings handled the entire grief and dispersal process , united as a family-unlike many families that seem to fall apart after the "glue" of the family passes away.I would recommend this book to anyone,but I found it especially comforting and insightful during my own process of grief. I think anyone in the same situation would also find comfort.This is one of those books that came into my life at just the right moment. (less)
    • 4/5
      Author cares for aging parents, and clears out the family home after their deaths. In the process she reviews her family history, and comes to terms with her uneasy relationship with her mother.
    • 4/5
      This is a pleasant memoir of growing up in a lakefront house with eccentric, incompatible parents. Plum's father was a British naval officer and war hero who spent a great deal of time in the Far East. Her mother was a Southern belle from an old Virginia family.After her parents died, Plum was given the job of clearing out the family home, which hadn't been touched in 40 or so years. Her quest to cull the artifacts of her family's life in the home became the device to evoke the family stories told in this memoir.Some of the stuff Plum unearths is quite interesting, for example, the old naval log her father kept as an officer leading his men in an escape from a Japanese POW camp, or a dispensation one of her father's ancestors received from a marshall in Napoleon's army. Some stuff is humorous: hating their chores, Plum and her brothers had a plaque made that said, "Home of an old Slave Driver, Est. 1953" purportedly issued by the town "Hysterical" Society. This was nailed to their front gate, and became quite a tourist attraction.At first, Plum resented her parents' stuff, and the fact that they never seemed to have done any culling of their accumulations over the years, leaving it all for their children to go through. But in the end, she decided it was a valuable experience. She felt she came to know her parents better as people, and she says this is what she is going to do to her own kids--leave them everything.3 1/2 stars
    • 4/5
      In 2017 I spent 2 weeks caring for my mom after some back surgery. Originally my dad was to have been there to help, but he had a big health crisis and I had to call 911 on my first morning at their house. When I originally said I’d fly back to care for her, my dad was healthy and a 5 day visit ballooned into 14. While I was there I had a lot of down time since mom slept for most of the day. This gave me time to contemplate their home (the only one they’ve had for over 50 years), their stuff, their health and their future. It’s complicated, emotional and fraught with contradictions and compromises which is why I could totally relate to this memoir even though both my parents are still living.Plum and her brothers have to deal with not only their parents’ deaths, but the enormous house and all it contains. I was a bit surprised everyone was calm and no fights erupted over stuff. There weren’t any factions or games over who got what or who was entitled to what. Maybe if they’d been left a big pile of money things would have taken that more common turn, but I was happy for them that they all remained close and loving.A lot of memoirs about this kind of thing can get maudlin in the extreme or can be written to exculpate and canonize either the kids or the parents. Not so with this. People have some warts and bad habits, but they aren’t horrible. I guess it also helps to have interesting parents with interesting pasts. Those bits of the story were woven into the present narrative with skill and a lightness that connected them well and in the right places. At times Plum feels and expresses a little self-pity, but she doesn’t languish there and soon she’s off to delve into the pantry shelves, her parents’ letters or her dad’s war memorabilia. I liked how easy the story flowed and how I had to remind myself it wasn’t a novel from time to time.
    • 5/5
      It was SO easy to relate to the author's experiences---all it takes is an elderly relative!! The writing was honest and funny and so descriptive---Johnson paints, too, and maybe that's why her words form so many pictures. It was great to see the relationships of the brothers, and Plum, as well as the discovery of a relationship between their parents that maybe none of them fully appreciated, especially in the mother's final years of life. A great look at ONE family---no one has the same experience but it's always an education to see how other people manage an experience.
    • 4/5
      I read this book at the right time of my life. I recently lost my own mother, well it has been two years but still feels like yesterday. My father is super organized and within a week, had my mother's things donated or given to me and my brother. So, I won't have the "stuff" to go through like Plum because he's also cleaning out and dispersing items he considers superfluous. If I want to save anything, I have to be quick! Divorced and self-employed, Plum was the obvious choice to serve as caregiver to her parents. For 13 long years she cared for her father through his Alzheimer's. Three years after his death, Plum is still the primary caregiver for her mother. Her mother has become even more difficult to deal with. Then, her mother dies. Plum spends 18 months going through the house and her parents' things to get the house ready to sell. This is how she and her siblings learn more about their parents and themselves. I have to admit it has given me second thoughts about cleaning out my own stuff so my daughters won't have to do it later! However, I'm more like my father and other than books, I don't like clutter. I enjoyed this book and I'm glad I read it.
    • 3/5
      I enjoyed this memoir about a woman dealing with the death of her mother and how she and her brothers discover wonderful personal mysteries hidden in the home as they clear it out. I especially liked the way the story of the parents' experiences unfolded and was intrigued by how these two very different people managed to make their marriage work.At times, the book seemed written with tremendous honesty and candour. The author is open about her frustration as serving as a caregiver to her aging parents, and her guilt when they pass on. At other times, I wonder whether things are being glossed over, such as the impact of her mother's drinking, her father's use of capital punishment and the relationships between/among the siblings, who seem to get along so well.The author's experience is hardly typical, I think. There are few of us who could afford 16 months of gradually cleaning out a house, cataloging belongings without the stress of other pressing obligations. This book makes me wonder what kind of legacy I'll leave my children...and whether my inclination towards constant decluttering is really the best thing I can do for them?
    • 4/5
      This award winning Canadian memoir of the death of aging parents will be available in the US in July of 2016. If this topic scares you, don't go away! Her family will amaze you with its rich history! If you or anyone in your family has become a caregiver, you will find that you are not alone in your feelings. Johnson has handled this story with grace and dignity.Plum Johnson's Toronto message machine blasts her cantankerous 92 year-old Mum's voice. "Promise you'll drive out first thing tomorrow! Damn this machine call me!"For "First Daughter" Plum Johnson the death of her 92 year old mother marks the end of a tumultuous and emotionally painful 20 years as caregiver that has left her painfully stranded between who she was before, who she has become and what she will be next. As she opens the garden gate and leads us inside the family home, she shares the emotional turmoil in the intimate corners of herself. The physical tour of the house and its belongings taken in step with the inventory of her feelings and self reflection will stir up sadness, joy, amazement, anger and love.The wartime marriage of a British Naval officer and an American Red Cross Director endured and left a legacy of treasures measured in 5 children, memories and 23 rooms filled with mementos, artifacts and yes, junk. After their deaths, the children discover incredible personal mysteries hidden in the home and answers to questions they wish they knew to ask while they are alive.Divorced, self-employed and an empty nester, Plum was the obvious choice to serve as caregiver to her parents. For 13 long years she cared for her father as she watched his retreat from life into Alzheimer's deep fog. Three years after his death, Plum is still in life limbo caring for her mother. But her mother's ever growing cantankerous disposition and demanding nature have eroded any remaining compassion or patience. All encounters become jousting matches that leave no winners."Friends of mine who lost their mother's early kept telling me, 'You don't know how lucky you are... I'd give anything to have my mother back for just one minute.'...All I wanted was my freedom. I looked into the future and thought, 'will I ever get my life back?'"Grief has no expiration date. It has no parameters. It can't be exchanged or coerced. This heartfelt story of one person's experience expressed honestly and candidly. In the end, she and her siblings learn one of life's greatest lessons. Parents are people with their own dreams, ambitions, faults, and tragedies. When we stop seeing Mom as mother and we stop seeing ourselves as a wronged child, it is possible to love Plum as Plum and Anne as Anne. And with that knowledge a person regains compassion, understanding and the freedom to move on....Reviewers note:There are references to other non-fiction books about members of this family. I encourage others to read the gripping tale of her father's escape from a Japanese POW camp. I was, at first, very angry at her father's harsh disciplinary style but as I learned more about him personally I came to see that he was doing his best with what he knew from his own experience. It doesn't excuse his actions but shows that he is at heart a deeply loving father.Plum Johnson's childhood is far from average and goes to show that you can not make assumptions about another's life. As stated above, Grief knows no bounds and we are all more than one dimensional beings.I want to thank the author for permission to use her personal photo in my review. I also want to thank her for reminding me of things in my life that I discovered when we cleaned out the closets and basement of my family home.
    • 4/5
      They Left Us Everything is a memoir by a Canadian woman in her early sixties, written after sixteen years of caring for her elderly parents, then another year of sorting through their belongings and preparing the family home for sale. The book is a mix of family history, childhood reminiscences, self-discovery, exploration of relationships, and tribute to her parents. Her mother was brilliant, flamboyant, controlling, and extroverted, part of an large, elite Southern US family. Her father was a former British Navy officer and war hero, who had overcome a deprived childhood through hard work and determination. He, too, had a controlling personality, and the couple was in a constant state of conflict. Their five children grew up in a huge house in Oakville, right on the shore of Lake Ontario. As Plum cleans the house, she discovers items and papers that give her insight into the lives and personalities of her parents, and a better understanding of their relationships with her and with each other. I like the author's honesty. She shares her frustration and resentment with her prolonged caregiving role, and her guilt after the deaths of her parents. I also enjoyed the gradual revelation of her parents' experiences and the complexity of their relationship. Their wartime letters were fascinating, and so were the memories evoked by various items. At other times the book could be rather tedious, perhaps giving excessive detail, or just meandering. There was more mysticism than I like to see in a nonfiction book, although it was by no means a major theme. I found the book reasonably interesting, but I wasn't excited by it. Unfortunately, I am generally not a fan of "self-discovery" memoirs, and there is quite a bit of soul searching and self-actualization. Still, I really appreciated that the author shared her parents' stories with the world, instead of letting their letters languish in the family archives, and their memories just fade away.
    • 4/5
      Plum Johnson, founder of KidsCanada Publishing, has written a memoir that is a biography of her parents as well as her four siblings. However, it is also the chronicling of an unusual marriage of two individuals who one would label eccentric. Then there is the huge house on the shore of Lake Ontario in Oakville, ON where most of the story takes place. The title refers superficially to all the stuff that her parents had packed into the house in Oakville. They had purchased it in 1952 and lived there until they died in the early 2000's. Her father never threw anything away and her mother was a collector of items from her many travels. A large portion of the book is about clearing out the house to ready it for sale. However, the title also refers to the discoveries they made by reading letters and diaries and how much their parents had sacrificed to give them a loving home and a valuable education.Johnson thought her relationship with her mother had been difficult but after her mother died, she discovered through conversations with her siblings and reading her mother's letters that her mother did appreciate her and did worry about her.
    • 4/5
      This memoir is about the death of Plum's elderly mother and how Plum volunteers to clear out the family home. It covers memories of Plum's childhood and of how her American mother met and married her British husband during the second world war. I found it very moving: Plum and her brothers clearly loved their parents and their reminiscences are full of honesty, exasperation and humour. It was also thought-provoking about what it means to make a marriage work. There was a lot of sadness and focus on death - not just that of Plum's mother, but also the death of her father after many years of dementia and of one of her brothers from cancer. I found the last section over long: I had lost interest in who actually would buy the house and where every last stick of furniture would end up, but overall highly recommended.