Secret Daughter

Beautiful and touching story about family and mothers love. I book to remember

What a tremendous, touching story of Indian life, of adoption, and of a marriage between an American and an Indian. All these subjects are explored with sobriety and live. Thank you!

An incredible book with the best narration I’ve ever heard. I can not wait to see what a debut writer of this caliber will write next!

The must-read book of the year! A stunning debut novel about the magnetic pull and power of family, both the one you are born into and the one you create.

When Kavita gives birth to a second daughter, she risks her life to give her daughter Usha a better life by giving her up for adoption.

In America, Somer, a blond-haired, blue-eyed doctor married to an Indian doctor, Krishnan, finally agrees to adopt an Indian child after several devastating miscarriages and early onset menopause.

The daughter, renamed Asha, becomes the tentative focal point between these two parallel lives of mothers who struggle to create a life both for themselves and their families.

Gowda knows human nature, understands the intricate bonds of family, shows empathy for cultural differences, and tells a fabulous story that will change your inner landscape.

I cannot wait to read her next book!

I like a book with strong characters. This book checked that box for me and more. It was a quick read with a satisfying ending.

What a wonderful, heartwarming (and heartbreaking) story. Ms Gowda is such a fantastic and gifted storyteller. So many lives moving in so many directions yet still convene with the author’s beautiful weaving of their lives. I can’t wait to read The Shape of Family next.

This was a fascinating account of life in India and growing up adopted. I loved every second of it and it felt so real I thought I actually knew the characters.

mixed writing. I call this a Publisher's book. Basically a good idea gone wrong.

This was a very readable book - the pages flew from the start. I liked the dual nature of the locations in the story - or really it was a trio of locations, because the two settings in India were so different. I really liked the story - I liked the protagonist Asha - I felt the story of Somer dragged a little - but basically was a really good read.

The Secret Daughter by Shilpi Samaya Gowda is a heartfelt story about mothers and daughters. While a poverty stricken Indian mother is forced to give away her newborn daughter, another woman living in America discovers that she will never give birth to the child that she has always wanted. The American woman, Somer, does adopt the Indian baby and along with her Indian born husband raises her in America. The novel switches back and forth between these two women, Somer in America and Kavita in India. While Kavita does go on to have the baby boy that was desired by her husband, she never forgets the daughter that she had to give away. Somer is always uneasy about the Indian connection, and as the child grows up and demands more answers about her background, she fears that she will lose her daughter, Asha. Asha does go to India, seeking answers and what she finds there fills in many of the blanks in her life but also brings her to appreciate fully what the adoption has brought to her life.The author breaths life into this story of two mothers and a daughter and it is an emotional read. I would have liked to have seem a little more depth added to the characters, and perhaps a little more definition given to the men in the story, but I enjoyed learning about modern day India so overall this was a very satisfactory read.

Recommended by a friend/patron... just was not my cup of tea tho.

I purchased this book to read with Diverse Book Club (@diversebookclub) on Goodreads. All opinions are my own. ???? Secret Daughter by Shilipi Somaya Gowda. From a struggling couple in their residency right out of med school Somer and Kris struggle to become a family. After several attempts they choose to adopt. A child from Kris' home country of India. A child of their own. For twenty years they are able to put arguments and questions to a minimal but as Asha grows into a woman she yearns to know more. Accepting a fellowship for journalism Asha is going to India for a year for research. Somer becomes angry and Asha becomes angry. Both rebelling against the other and leaving the family they worked so hard to create in shambles. Both women have to find the answers they need in order for the family to survive the crisis. Love, loss, birth and death are embedded in this story to pull so many emotions through you at once. As the book changes from Asha's birth mother, Kavita to her adopted family you get to see both sides of emotion and how both women must be stronger for the love of their family. It also reflects how giving up a child because of some else's choice is hard for everyone even years after. It also explains just how favored a male child is in India vs. a female child and why Kavita struggles with her choice.The one issue I have is Asha's search for her birth parents. I felt the process in this book seemed to cut and dry. It is just not that simple everytime. Review also posted on Instagram @jasonnstacie, Library Thing, Go Read, Goodreads/StacieBoren, Amazon, and my blog at readsbystacie.com

As soon as I read the first chapter, I was taken by the character of Kavita Merchant, a woman who chose to birth alone in secret without the help of a midwife or the knowledge and support of her husband in fear of placing her child in danger and at the mercy of a culture, which does not readily accept nor desire the birth of a baby girl.

Labour can be one of the most frightening and painful experiences for a woman and for Kavita to choose to experience it alone with nothing more than a tree branch between her teeth to muffle her screams is not only horrifically barbaric, but heroic. It goes to show just how much she is willing to sacrifice her own needs for that of her newborn baby.

It is however, ironic that the discrimination against the baby who is born is actually the catalyst for not only her survival, but her financial and cultural prosperity. Not every baby should be so lucky as found in the example of her older sister, a baby born only a few minutes, then killed by a relative as approved by her father simply because she was born the “wrong” sex and was deemed a useless burden that would one day require a dowry. This injustice drove Kavita to better preparation in her second pregnancy and stronger resolution to resist her husband and save her child at all cost.

Kavita’s drive to travel a day’s worth from her rural village to a city unknown to her, an overcrowded Mumbai, with the knowledge of what she must do to save her child’s life is not only unbearable to do, but unbearable for me, the reader, to have had to witness. It was so disturbing to me as a mother that after I had read the except, I went to my 17-month old daughter’s room and picked her up from the crib and held her tightly to me, glad that as a mother, I have not been put in a position to have had to make that kind of a decision.

Kavita Merchant’s polar character, Somer Thakkar, is a liberal, American doctor living in the United States who desires to be a mother, but cannot conceive. In the beginning of the novel I empathized with her inability to have her own biological children and even went so far as to understand her issues in seeing and dealing with pregnant women and pregnancy in general. But I found her character self-centered and presumptuous. Even her relationship with her husband, his family, and namely his Indian culture portrayed her as self-righteous, as someone with an inability to adapt, and a person with a judgmental attitude due to her liminality that it almost bordered racism. Aside from that, she seemed to me to be a very insecure individual, possessive of her adopted daughter, always fearful her daughter would potentially seek and wish to build a relationship with her biological parents. Perhaps somewhere in the recesses of a mother’s heart lies a deep-rooted fear to lose a child emotionally or lose the primary role of being a mother. Though I strongly disagree. Unfortunately, I found this to be immature on behalf of a character who was dutifully scrutinized by adopting agencies and its affiliates to be exactly opposite---a person mature enough to be worthy and well-fit to be a parent.

Secondary characters such as Jasu, Kavita’s ambitious husband must deal with his personal failure as a man and as a father in first, his choice to allow his eldest daughter to be killed; second, his failure in providing proper leadership to his son, Vijay; and third, his inability to successfully provide for his family due to his prideful ambition and illusions about the city of Mumbai. Rather than return to the village of his former home where his wife and son would have been better taken care of, he allowed them to tolerate living in the slums rather than swallow his pride about his own error in judgement.

Krishnan, Somer’s husband who is also a doctor and a product of two worlds, India and America, seemed to be ignorant to his wife’s peripheral, cultural relationship with their adopted daughter. He attested to encouraging her knowledge and personal development when it came to learning their shared Indian culture, yet desired and pressured her to follow his chosen career path. Rather than fully support her dreams of becoming a journalist, he made it clear that he not only disapproved, but wished she become a doctor like himself.

The men in this novel are flawed compared to the women, but it’s not so much a novel about the battle between the sexes, but the complexities of motherhood, of parenthood, and the question and re-definition of home and family.

Usha/Asha is named twice, most likely an intentional clue by the author alluding to the character’s duality and her search for understanding her own identity. She is a daughter of two cultures, two worlds, and two family histories. And she must come to terms with both.

Though I found Usha/Asha’s questions of identity natural and almost inevitable, I did, find the resolutions around her, too simple. Frankly, I found her to be spoiled and ungrateful and later, a daughter of clichés rather than secrets. She had a biological mother who mourned for her and an adopted mother who succumbed to her every wish in fear of losing her love by being even a bit contradictory or strict simply because she is an adopted mother, rather than a biological one. Why would a mother choose to walk on eggshells around her daughter at the fear of her own insecurities? Even Asha’s paternal extended family, including her grandmother, seemed to have afforded her special treatment. The explanation stated that it had to do more with desiring a girl/daughter, but I suspect it had more to do with her being an American and being adopted. But that’s a guess, if not my own instinct.

I did, however, feel for Kavita, Usha’s biological mother. After mourning many years without any knowledge of her daughter’s existence or whereabouts, the actual opportunity to meet her daughter in person was marred not only by her daughter’s presumptuousness, but was also prevented by her mother’s death. Perhaps her mother's death signified her own maternal death to Usha, who now chose to be called Asha and would choose to define her family within the boundaries of her adopted family, rather than her biological one. How quickly characters like Somer and Asha judged Kavita so harshly. Somer had told Asha at one point, “At least I wanted you.” What a horrible thing to say to a person, let alone a child. And to presume just because Usha’s biological mother gave her away, meant that she wasn’t wanted by her! Ludicrous! And Asha, to assume the worst of her parents simply because she discovered she had a younger brother showed the depth or rather lack of depth of her immaturity. I did not feel by any means, that justice was served by addressing Kavita’s longing with nothing more than a written letter. Imagine, she walked a day’s worth to save her child and all she received in return was a letter from her daughter? Not even a phone call or a personal meeting? And on her death bed! What a shame!

Though the premise of the book was promising and the read mostly enjoyable and easy, I found the characters shallow, predictable, and clichéd. If life were as simple as fated meetings, handsome boyfriends, and dot-to-dot conclusions, then this book would be extraordinary. Its only extraordinariness is found in how far-fetched and easy the plot seemed.

Though, I remain faithful to my heroine, Kavita. Where the story was told in her blistered feet, her lactating breasts, her shrieks of loss, her sacrifice in the slums, and her respect in maintaining her husband’s honour, I found some form of solace and redemption. She was not born to privilege in the same ways Somer, Krishnan, Dadijima, or even Asha were raised, but was intelligent, brave, and self-sacrificing enough that all other characters around her were able to benefit from the one choice---the one burden----she willingly made. She gave up her daughter so everyone except herself could gain.

Perhaps that is the true kernel of wisdom regarding motherhood. Perhaps...

This is a touching story of three women. Kavita, the Indian woman who gave up her daughter in order to save her from infanticide, Somer, the American woman, married to an Indian immigrant, who adopts the child, and Usha/Asha, the daughter they both love. It is a touching story about international adoption and its joys and complications, but the ending was a little too neat and the lessons a little to succinct and a bit sappy for me. A quick, uplifting read.

I wasn't sure if I was going to like this book but I thought I would give it a try. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I think it took me two days to read it, it was such an easy read. She did a great job making you care for the characters and really gave you a look at Indian culture.

It didn't end the way I thought it would but I think it was the right ending. I recommend this book, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I can see why this book is on many book club lists. Plenty to discuss adoption, motherhood, sex-based abortions.

Another profound tale from Mumbai, this one the saga of an eighteen year old mother and young husband who seemingly can only give birth to girls. The first baby is murdered by the husband's family, the second given to an orphanage. In America, an Indian-American husband and his American wife, both MDs, struggle with infertility and arrange the adoption of a Mumbai orphan. The stirring stories of the families in India, one wealthy enough to send a son to America to study, and one poor enough to resort to murder, is the beating heart of the novel, especially when the adopted daughter is finally reunited with her father's family in India. There are many (too many) coincidences and tidy resolutions, but this is a well-written, thought provoking introduction to India for those who are curious.

I read this book for an in-person book discussion. The story I discovered was full of emotions. The characters reflected real people. At first I didn't think I would enjoy this story because it started out very sad and negative. It ended on a positive, sad note. The story did pull me along for the adventure. This book is well worth the time it took to read it, I just do not want to read it again. The story presented both the good and the bad in India. Also the good and bad in a mixed race, American marriage. I will be curious as to what everyone else thought about the story.

Told over a twenty year period and set against the backdrop of India, this is an captivating story about adoption, motherhood, families and identity. Asha, Kavita and Somer are all strong female protagonists who are drawn together through unusual circumstances. However, some of the other characters are not as well-developed, especially those in Asha's extended family. The cultural differences between America and India, and the social inequality between rich and poor is clearly highlighted in "Secret Daughter" without becoming too in-depth and spoiling the overall story. The book moves between the two cultures effortlessly and I particularly enjoyed the author's detailed descriptions of India as they give the reader some vivid insights into this fascinating country.

Before I started reading, I thought this book would get a higher rating from me. From the description it sounded like it would be a very emotional read and I thought I would really enjoy it. But, while I did like it, I had a few qualms.

During the first half of the book I found myself thinking, "where is this going?" Don't get me wrong--it was very well written, and I could sympathize with the characters in their plights. But the story kind of dragged for me. Luckily, it picked up, bringing what would have been a 2 star rating to a solid 3.

The time jumps and point-of-view switching made some parts a bit confusing to read, but I think the end made it worth it. I think the most interesting part of the book was seeing Asha as a young woman, making her own way. I loved the ending. It was a unique end to a touching story.

Content: Mild profanity; mention of a rape-nondescript

The Scribbling Sprite

A novel following, essentially, three women. Kavita, an Indian mother who makes the decision to take her newborn daughter to an orphanage rather than allow her husband to take her and kill her as he did their first daughter. Asha, the daughter who is adopted by an American-Indian bi-racial couple. She grows up feeling completely American and yet different and displaced - even in her own home. And Somer, the American adoptive mother. While it was an engaging story in and of itself, what appealed most to me about this book was the growth that we see in each woman as the novel spans 20 years. They weren't delivered an easy out by the author. I appreciated that.

I couldn't put this book down. Great read and I highly recommend. Currently this is the author's only novel, I do so hope she writes more.

Gowda’s debut novel is the story of an adopted Indian girl from different points of view. For me, the most compelling voices were that of the mother who gave birth to an unwanted girl in India and a childless doctor in California married to a man born and raised in India. Add the voices of fathers, grandparents, and Asha herself, who began to wonder about her heritage after a school assignment about family history. Gowda’s perceptive in her writing from the different points of view, particularly when Asha goes to India to pursue an interest in journalism and she explores the lives of people living in a slum. Although she never gets to meet her mother, she discovers a lot about her mother and the strength and love of her adopted father’s mother. She comes to understand that if she had not been adopted, she would be living in a slum. A beautiful story introducing many readers to the reality of poverty and how sometimes giving up a child is done out of despair and hopes for the child’s future.

In a small village in India, Kavita is about to give birth. She is praying this second child with her husband, Jasu is a boy. If it is a girl, like her first born, she will not be able to bare the consequences. Sadly, this second child of theirs is a girl. Kavita will not allow what happened to their first daughter, happen to this one, so she makes the choice to give her away. This decision will haunt Kavita for the rest of her days.We are then taken to California and introduced to Somer and Krishnan. Somer and Krishnan are doctors and have tried everything to have a child, but finally decide to adopt. They travel to Krishnan's home, Mumbai to visit an orphanage and bring home their baby. Somer, an American, hopes her love will be enough to overcome all the obstacles in their path.The story continues going back and forth between the two couples and their lives starting in the 1980's and continuing all the way through 2009. The interconnecting lives of Kavita and Somer and their struggles with motherhood, with their marriages, and with their future will give you an emotional ride.The daughter that connects these two women across the world grows up as the reader travels through the book. As she becomes an adult, she struggles with the two worlds that she is part of, those of her father's family in India and her mother's family in America. By searching for where she fits in, she finds that maybe where she belonged was right in front of her all along.The author had no trouble placing me in the heart of the tiny village of India or in the large city of Mumbai. Her descriptions of the people living in the slums of Mumbai and their daily struggles were heartbreaking to read, but I'm sure all too real. The traditions of Krishnan's family and Kavita's family opened my eyes to a whole new way of living. I'm just thankful our American culture realizes it is the man that determines the gender of a baby and doesn't value boys over girls. I wanted to scream at Jasu and his ignorance. This was our book club choice last month and was loved by all of us. As moms we found this book to be quite emotional as we read both Kavita's and Somer's struggles with giving up their child and with not being able to have childen. We sympathized as they raised their children and confronted frustrating moments. We empathized as their marriages weren't as they originally dreamed they would be. This was a book full of feelings, relationships, traditions, and most of all, love. It is a story you won't forget.This is Shilpi Somaya Gowda's first novel and I can't wait to read her next one. The novel is also planned to hit movie screens in the future.

Secret Daughter is the story of an American woman (Somer), her Indian husband (Krishnan..or Kris), their adopted Indian daughter (Asha) and her birth parents (Kavita and Janu).The story is told from multiple perspectives which highlights their individual differences as well as cultural differences. Through the story the author explores various aspects of intercultural marriage, international adoption, and the cultural and emotional strains therein. The story is well told, the writing is clear. Some parts of the storyline are predictable, especially if you've read the writer of other Indian/North American writers. At the end of the story all of the ends are tied up neatly, which I can't decide if that's to the credit of the author or not.

One of my Top 5 read for 2013

This book blew me away. I learned so much about the Indian culture that was nicely told during the story. The two story lines, entwine with each other making this one good story. Near the beginning I thought I would know how it ended. I liked this ending much more than that one I thought it would be. This story is all about family and being a part of a family. It pulls at the heart and is inspiring. Loved it.

Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda

The author is Indian. Her parents migrated to Canada from Mumbai. This novel was a New York Bestseller for her and also an international bestseller. She spent a summer as a volunteer in an Indian orphanage. This story is of an Indian girl adopted by an Indian father and white mother (both doctors) living in the United States, covers what it is like to be adopted and provides information about girls born in India. Ashe travels to India and spends time with her father’s family and works for the India Times. I was surprised that a country that won’t harm their cows would infanticide their girl babies. The story also paints a picture of wealthy Indian family contrasted with a family that is not so lucky. It was like to parallel stories and though they cross at the very end but only slightly, the two stories remain two stories. The author also gives a look into the Hindu religion. The story was enjoyable but also never felt quite right. Once again the author starts with a bright woman, Somer, who becomes a complete idiot from the time she becomes a doctor until her fifties. She does wake up and become smart again but it just seemed so convenient to the story. The adopted girl is annoying through her high school years and that probably is pretty accurate and adopted girls want to find their parents more often that adopted boys. She is able to resolve her issues of adoption and realize that she has been given many blessings. I did like the second half of the book more than the first half. The story really doesn’t start until then. It has a nice ending though a little abrupt.

An adopted Indian girl goes back to India and decides to look find out something about her roots. In addition, the story does include the story of her family of natural origin. Story was good, but it seemed like the writing needed a little tweaking. The description of the culture of India as well as the treatment of females in India among the poor was very interesting. I would have had a different ending.

I loved this book! My neighbour encouraged me to read it, and I am very happy she did. I learned so much about a culture I was not at all familiar with. If you have not read this, I encourage you to do so, it is an amazing story.