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    Thicker Than Water: History, Secrets and Guilt: A Memoir
    Unavailable
    Thicker Than Water: History, Secrets and Guilt: A Memoir
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    Thicker Than Water: History, Secrets and Guilt: A Memoir
    Audiobook9 hours

    Thicker Than Water: History, Secrets and Guilt: A Memoir

    Written by Cal Flyn

    Narrated by Cal Flyn

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    Cal Flyn was very proud when she discovered that her ancestor, Angus McMillan, had been a pioneer of colonial Australia. However, when she dug deeper, she began to question her pride. McMillan had not only cut tracks through the bush, but played a dark role in Australia's bloody history.

    In 1837 Angus McMillan left the Scottish Highlands for the other side of the world. Cutting paths through the Australian frontier, he became a feted pioneer, to be forever mythologised in status and landmarks. He was also Cal Flyn’s great-great-great-uncle. Inspired by his fame, Flyn followed in his footsteps to Australia, where she would face horrifying family secrets.
    Blending memoir, history and travel,Thicker Than Water’ evokes the startlingly beautiful wilderness of the Highlands, the desolate bush of Victoria and the reverberations on one from the other. A tale of blood and bloodlines, it is a powerful, personal journey into dark family history, grief and guilt.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins Publishers
    Release dateJun 2, 2016
    ISBN9780008136123
    Unavailable
    Thicker Than Water: History, Secrets and Guilt: A Memoir
    Author

    Cal Flyn

    Cal Flyn is a freelance journalist from the Highlands of Scotland. She has been a reporter for the Sunday Times and the Daily Telegraph, and a contributing editor at The Week magazine. She has been published in the New Statesman, The Observer, The Independent, Telegraph Magazine and FT Weekend, and won the 2013 Brandt/Independent on Sunday travel writing prize. THICKER THAN WATER is her first book.

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    Reviews for Thicker Than Water

    4/5

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    • 4/5
      Bhima has worked (as a servant) for Sera for years. Sera treats her well and they are also, in a way, friends. Bhima has raised her granddaughter, Maya, and when Maya comes home from college (paid for by Sera) pregnant, Bhima must figure out what to do. I really liked this. This is the second book I've read by Umrigar and she does a really good job with character relationships, which is really what her books seem to be about. The book also goes back in time to follow both Sera and Bhima's lives (and Maya's) to explain how they got where they are now.
    • 4/5
      This book was a very powerful read. It features a woman who is middle class and her servant who has a granddaughter who is pregnant. The story unfolds in flashbacks. There are little mysteries that are presented within the story but that are eventually solved by the end of the novel. The book was a heavy read as well, but an enjoyable one.
    • 4/5
      In this novel, Thrity Umrigar explores issues of social class and the ways in which class impacts life experience and relationships. Sera is a wealthy Indian woman who suffered in an unhappy and violent marriage. Bhima is her servant, living in extreme poverty with her orphaned granddaughter Maya, who she has cared for since early childhood. Bhima has worked for Sera for years; the two women understand and care deeply for each other. Many times Sera has come to Bhima’s aid, using her status to secure better healthcare for a family member, arrange for Maya’s education, and help Bhima navigate government beaurocracy. And Bhima provided Sera with much-needed emotional support throughout her marriage.On the surface it would appear the two women have overcome class differences and forged a deep and lasting friendship. Yet Sera will not allow Bhima to sit on her furniture. There are many other small indications along the way, until the novel’s climax fully exposes the chasm between the two women. In the final analysis, class differences reinforce one woman’s privilege and the other’s destitution.While this novel takes place in India, where much has been written about the role of social class, supposedly egalitarian societies fall victim similar traps. Just this week I had a conversation with a colleague who was struggling with the importance of developing a diverse workforce. “I think we should just hire the best people,” he said. I was reminded of an article I read years ago: White Privilege, Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack, by Peggy McIntosh. The author writes, “Obliviousness about white advantage, like obliviousness about male advantage, is kept strongly inculturated [sic] in the United States so as to maintain the myth of meritocracy, the myth that democratic choice is equally available to all. Keeping most people unaware that freedom of confident action is there for just a small number of people props up those in power and serves to keep power in the hands of the same groups that have most of it already.”Food for thought.
    • 4/5
      Takes place in Bombay. About the lives of a middle class woman and her servant, and the class differences between them — a very good book.
    • 3/5
      I really enjoyed it, especially the glimpse it allowed onto the way people live in India. I believe it to be fairly accurate. I loved the way it was told, for me it made it even more realistic: the emotions described as dramatically as I would expect, words doubled and changed, the deminutives, Indian expressions - everything intertwined so lively. An extremely interesting read.
    • 4/5
      I read this book in the ARC version back in 2007 and this is what I thought of it then: Ohhh ... I so loved this book. Right from a few pages in and all the way through. My only reservation was the lack of a Hindi vocabulary in the back (but maybe that has been added to the "real" published book) - as I would have loved to know that they were eating all the time.
    • 5/5
      Fiction books that are set in India have been a favorite read of mine for the past couple of years. I'm a big fan of Rohinton Mistry. This story follows Sera, a middle-class Parsi housewife and her maid, Bhima. The book tackles many issues including AIDS, spousal abuse, adultery and teenage pregnancy. It is interesting to read about these issues from a non-Western perspective. Reading about the conditions in which Bhima lives made me grateful for my privileged Western life. I was enthralled by this book and it definitely ranks as one of the best I've read this year. I couldn't recommend it enough.
    • 5/5
      Wonderful story of two women on different sides of the Indian Caste system. One of my favorites!
    • 3/5
      I read this one because I really liked Under The Weight of Heaven. Although this one had an interesting plot (about the relationship between the servent and her boss, set in modern day India), it fell flat for me. The writing seemed clunky and there wasn't a lot of depth to the characters. If the ending had been different, I probably would have given it a higher rating.
    • 2/5
      I actually read this book twice--once when it was first published, and now for an upcoming book club meeting. It's a little depressing, no? But poignant, too, in parts. All in all reflective of how customs and traditions help mask clear misdeeds and insults.
    • 4/5
      I had just finished the White Tiger by Aravind Adiga which I found so so. I loved Thrity Umrigars beautiful writing. It gave me a chilling close look into the lives of two women living in contempory India.
    • 4/5
      One day someone's going to write a Happy Indian Novel. This one's not it. But it is a powerful and moving story about prejudice and poverty in modern day Bombay. Sera, a middle class Parsi woman, and Bhima, her servant, are the main characters. And it's their relationship that most clearly shows how ingrained prejudice can be. This example is going to be used over and over again when talking about this book, but it's perfect. Sera and Bhima take tea together every day. Sera sits at the table; Bhima squats on the floor. Bhima has her own cup so she doesn't dirty those of the family. Yet Bhima feels blessed to work for Sera. Even sees her as a benefactor. It makes your heart break.Umrigar's writing is precise and beautiful. She tells Bhima's story simply, but with incredible emotion. I think this book is going to be very popular in book groups next year not just because of the cultural focus, but because it's about mothers and daughters, about friendships between women, and about relationships between husbands and wives. Even though it's got an exotic setting, its focus is personal and tells a story with which we are sadly all too familiar.Recommended.This is one of the quotes I wrote in my quote journal: Or perhaps it is that time doesn't heal wounds at all, perhaps that is the biggest lie of them all, and instead what happens is that each wound penetrates the body deeper and deeper until one day you find that the sheer geography of your bones--the angle of your head, the jutting of your hips, the sharpness of your shoulders, as well as the luster of your eyes, the texture of your skin, the openness of your smile--has collapsed under the weight of your griefs.
    • 5/5
      Relationships between women are complex at best—made all the more so by social pressures and family ties. Ms. Umrigar weaves her tale so beautifully that the true, destructive ugliness under the surface sneaks up on the reader. Her characters are people we know or can see in our selves in spite of cultural differences. Perhaps this is one of the reasons the story moved me so deeply. Ms. Umrigar tells a simple yet eternal story with grace and palpable emotion within a world that is exquisitely drawn. The first and last line echo each other in a way that makes the entire novel feel like a poetic experience. The Space Between Us has earned a place on the shelf of books that I treasure and read over and over. It's one of the best books I have read in quite awhile.
    • 3/5
      The Space Between Us is the story of the unlikely friendship between Bhima, a poor, lower-caste servant, and Sera, her wealthy and well-educated mistress. Writer Thrity Umrigar creates rich, satisfying scenes between the two main characters that demonstrate how their friendship is complicated by socioeconomic differences and Sera's limited self-awareness. Overall, however, I found the book weak. Umrigar hasn't figured out what "show, don't tell" means so there are lots of cliches like "she would have walked through fire for her daughter" but few scenes that actually demonstrate how the characters feel. The book is also poorly plotted. It zigzags between past and present with little motivation. While other books build suspense about the main characters' past, this one reveals their secrets right off the bat, so there isn't much motivation to keep reading. The present-day plot line is so thin it's practically non-existant and I'd guessed the surprise ending in the first 50 pages. The book does go by surprisingly fast, but the awkward writing style and hackneyed metaphors don't make it very much fun to read.Bottom line: some of this book's ideas about class and friendship will stick with me, but over all it's pretty lackluster.
    • 4/5
      My final reaction to this book suggests it reads like a modern Greek tragedy. The juxtaposition between the two families speaks of a huge class 'space' quite unknown outside of India. The author has the advantage, from my perspective, of knowing the cultural and social environment that is seen very clearly with her.The 'space' speaks of a distance between the various religious and class factors wider than can be bridged between nations. I found it a sad novel, always hoping that a real ray of sunshine would burst forth for both of the women, Sera and Bhima, in the book. The final chapter I found quite tragic. Whatever relationship had been built up over the years was quite suddenly wiped out. The story sort of fizzled out for me at that point.However, that fact aside, I found the novel offered an educational glimpse into a way of life unknown in my part of North America.
    • 5/5
      Overall, The Space Between Us, is a heartbreaking but real and refreshing read. If you like modern fiction that transforms your world and transports you to another place (in this case Bombay, India), then I do not think you will be disappointed. Thrity Umrigar's voice is stunning and beautiful; the prose was truly remarkable. The themes were very heavy and often disturbing, but I do not think they could have been handled in a more delicate manner.
    • 4/5
      Novel set in India examining relationship between woman and her woman servant. Uses Indian slang effectively. There is a feeling that all the women in the novel are victims of the men. The men are not portrayed as empathetically as the women.
    • 4/5
      An ok read. In short, the story centers around two women. Sera, a middle class privileged Parsi woman and her long time (over twenty years) servant Bhima. Sera treats Bhima kindly and is generous however the caste system complicates what could have been a very strong friendship. Bhima will always be a servant in the eyes of Sera. It becomes quite evident in the books ending. Despite everything they had witnessed together over the years, Sera did what most of her kind had done...she stood by tradition and turned her back on Bhima even though Bhima had, over the years, never given her a reason to doubt her loyalty. I would recommend the book but not highly.
    • 4/5
      This is a stark, moving story of a woman's life and the space which exists between herself and the significant people in her life. She lives in the slums of Bombay, works for a family to whom she is loyal and hardworking. She loves her family, tries always to do what is right, and is repaid with sorrow after sorrow, burden after burden. Somehow she continues to put one foot in front of the other.The themes in this book include: class difference, social norms and pressures for conformity, trust and loyalty, and above all, the space which exists between two people no matter how close they may seem to be: employer/employee, husband/wife, parent/child, and neighbor to neighbor. I did not like the structure of the story as well as the story. I think jumping backward and forward in time was unnecessary and detracted from the effect of the book. However, the character development was done very well.Just short of being great, but very good!
    • 4/5
      This was a beautifully written story of two women. On the surface, they appear to be friends, although one, Sera, is the middle class employer of Bhima, who lives in a slum. In theme, it reminded me of The Help: the idea that someone could work in your home, care for your children, wash your clothes and prepare your food, that you could treat them well, but still consider them as less than you in some way. Bhima works for Sera for years. She knows the most intimate details of Sera's life. She loves Sera's child like her own. Bhima has to leave her own children at home, even when they are ill, to go care for Sera's family. In return, Sera is kind to Bhima, gossips with her, trusts her with money and other personal details, but when she has an opportunity to defend Bhima against an unfair accusation, class distinction rears its ugly head. While most of this story is sad, it is beautifully written and ends with a sense of hope rather than despair. I didn't want it to end.
    • 4/5
      Set in India, this is a story woven around two compelling, but very different, women. This book stayed with me for a long time. I loved the writing and found many quotable quotes.
    • 5/5
      excellent book!Set in Bombay and based on a real person, this novel explores the impact of gender and class on women and the struggle to reconcile the differences. The relationships between generations, employer/servants, spouses are explored with sensitivity and heartbreak. The characters are strong and well defined. Their lives swirl around strong desires and attempts to break free of long established social barriers.The ending is something of a twist and beautifully written.Just a snippet:"And now she finally understands what she has always observed on people's faces when they are at the seaside... she would notice how people's faces turned slightly upward when they stared at the sea, as if they were straining to see a trace of God or were hearing the silent humming of the universe... people's faces became soft and wistful... sniffing the salty air for transcendence, for something that would allow them to escape the familiar prisons of their own skin."
    • 4/5
      The story is based on the lives and relationship of Sera, an upper middle class Parsi widow, and Bhima, an abandoned lower class woman who serves as her housekeeper. The story is beautifully written, using flash backs to inform the reader of how this present time came to be in both of the women's lives. Themes of love, betrayal, family, and friendship are explored in the context of rigid class boundaries in modern day Bombay.
    • 3/5
      I have been nursing this book for months! Having heard how strict the caste system is in India, I was looking forward to reading how this book would shed light on that. Initially, I was very excited about reading my first Indian fiction novel but by the end of it I was just trying to finish. There were passages that held my interest but then the text would go into another “black hole.” Bhima is Sera Dubash’s domestic “help.” These women could not be any more different or alike. They both watched the men they fell in love with and marry turn into men they hardly recognize. They both are fiercely loyal to their children. They both have hate sticking to the back of their throats. Sera hates her overbearing mother-in-law. Bhima hates being illiterate. These are just some of the issues these women have to juggle. Even though these women were from very different backgrounds they share a bond. Their lives seem to mirror each other’s emotionally. I found Bhima’s character to be utterly depressing but I admired her fierce resilience. The book’s jacket described her as stoic which was also true. Considering the cards that life dealt Bhima, I’m only sure I would not be walking around bubbly either. Even though Sera is upper middle class her “privilege” did not alter her low emotional state. Sera was a whiner who had no real identity outside of being Feroz’s wife and Dinaz’s mother. Maya, Bhima’s granddaughter, brings a shift to the text but her fate is not a joyous one either. Bhima often reminisces about an Afghanistan balloon artist she used to see on the beach who she “hears” at the end of the story. This is quite strange considering she never spoke with him. The somewhat constant reference to him throughout the text was just awkward to me. There was a twist to this story and it cut the thread that bound Bhima and Sera's relationship.I really wanted to like this story but it was such a slow read. The ending did not even redeem the story for me. The characters were stale they had depth but overall they were lacking a “spark”. The story itself was not lacking it dealt with some major issues like domestic violence, AIDS, and abortion just to name a few. I did like the fact how Umrigar made the city of “Bombay” to be a character. Even though The Space Between Us did not hit the mark for me, I am looking forward to reviewing Umrigar’s new novel, The World We Found (set to be released 1/2012). I plan on, The World We Found, to be my first review of 2012 (hopefully) thanks to the ARC I received courtesy of my friends at Harper Books.
    • 3/5
      I'm sad & depressed. this book left me feeling hopeless about Bhima & Maya' s futures. No one person should have to suffer as much as Bhima has during her lifetime.
    • 5/5
      Before I start on the review of the book I want to express that this is one of the nicest books I have received lately in regards to the cover, binding and pages. It has an old-fashioned feel to the pages; they are not smooth on the ends, they have that rough finish you used to find on older books. The cover is stunning in person - I can't begin to express how the flat picture does nothing to convey the depth of the book you hold in your hand.Now on to the story. It was amazing. A book I found myself still thinking about days after I had turned the final page. It is not a happy or light or breezy book by any definition but it is a book where the writer's way with words enters into your thoughts and you find yourself thinking about some of life's big questions.In the novel we meet Bhima, a woman of the slums of Bombay who has not had a very good life. She has worked for years for Sera and her family and feels like part of their family despite not being allowed to sit on the furniture or drink or eat from their dishes. Sera, an upper class woman from a progressive family married into an old fashioned family and found herself being abused by both her mother in law and husband but did nothing about it. Bhima knew all of Sera's secrets and Sera helped Bhima through some of the worst times of her life - including Bhima's current crisis when her 17 year old granddaughter comes home pregnant.These two women are intimately entwined yet worlds apart. When those two worlds meet they realize just how far apart they truly are. And the fallout is devastating for both of them.I had a hard time putting this book down and if it hadn't been garden season I think I would have read it all in one sitting. Then I would have read it again. Despite the sadness that pervades the book I was still left uplifted at the end because of the strength of Bhima's character. Don't get me wrong - she is a very hard to like woman but she was formed that way by the forces of her life. I had less sympathy for Sera because the way to change should have been much easier for her being educated and wealthy. She made small inroads but she couldn't make the big ones.Ms. Umrigar's writing is lyrical. Whether describing the beach or the communal toilet in a slum you get a true feel for where you are in the story. She weaves her words and takes you directly into the lives of her characters; the good, the bad and the ugly. I did see the big ending coming long before the end but it did not detract from the story at all. I would so love to see the follow-up to the lives of Bhima, Sera and Maya.
    • 5/5
      Whether we like to think it or not, we are all shaped by the families and situations into which we are born. The class system in India just does a clearer job of solidifying that fact. Sera and Bhima are really so much alike but their worlds are totally different even though they may be together day after day. They both are shaped by and trapped by the roles into which they were born. The situation with Maya is so unfair and heartbreaking; Sera's response when she finds out the truth is pathetic, but entirely in line with what she has been taught and what she has lived for her entire life. One can't help to believe that she will have many sleepless nights filled with worry and regret, yet she will not be able to make any move toward conciliation.I really liked this book, but I was a bit unsure about the ending. The ending implies that Bhima has found some sense of self-worth, but I'm not sure that can be maintained in her circumstance of no means of support and the conditions where she lives.I have read several books about India and by Indian writers lately and they have all been wonderful. If you like this one, I recommend "Inheritance of Loss" and the movie "Water." There is a lot of great writing coming from Indian authors and this is just one example.
    • 4/5
      This is a story of gender and class, set in India. Sera and her servant, Bhima, have much in common as women in a patriarchial society. They are bound by betrayals by their husbands, by the love of their children...but they are separated by class in a way that never allows them to fully acknowledge these ties. Extremely well written; a good story with deep characters.
    • 3/5
      Not my usual sort of book to read. It's all literary and book discussiony! This one was brought to my attention along with another book and this one sounded the more interesting, mostly as it was about India.And that's mostly what it has going for it. I did not particularly like the characters and the book was a downer the entire way through. Sure, it says important things about class and gender roles, education and the lack of it, money and the lack of it, power and the lack of it, but not in a particularly enjoyable way.Yet I can't say it was a hard read. Just a depressing one.I did learn things about India that I didn't know before. I did think about class in a different way. I'm quite probably a better person for having read it.But still. Downer.
    • 5/5
      In present-day Bombay, Bhima leaves her slum each day to work as a domestic in a wealthy widow’s home. She has faithfully served this woman, Sera Dubash, for decades and prides herself on caring for the family. Sera is an upper-middle-class Parsi, but her social status has not protected her from an abusive husband and mother-in-law. In Sera’s home Bhima has witnessed the intimate details of the family’s life, and cared for Sera’s injuries; in return Sera has helped Bhima deal with the hospital when her husband was injured, and is paying for Bhima’s granddaughter, Maya, to attend college. What Bhima doesn’t fully realize, however, is that she remains an outsider to the Dubash family. An unplanned pregnancy will shatter the illusions of both women.

      The two women at the core of the novel share one very important characteristic – blindness. The beautifully dressed, elegant and graceful Sera does not want to see the truth of her husband’s cruelty or the despair of Bhima’s life. Bhima, a stoic illiterate, does not see that her blind faith in this family she “loves” is not returned. Time and again she fails to recognize the reality of her situation until it is too late. Intimately connected over time with one another, neither one of them truly sees the yawning chasm that separates them.

      There are scenes of tenderness, love, joy and happiness which give the reader occasional relief, but the novel is at times emotionally difficult to read. I am appalled at the treatment both these women endure: Sera because she cannot face the shame and humiliation of admitting to anyone that her husband beats her; Bhima because her lack of education and status make her such an easy target for anyone more powerful (and virtually everyone she encounters is more powerful than she). My heart breaks for both these women, and at the end I am not sure which I am more worried about.