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    Say What You Will
    Say What You Will
    Say What You Will
    Audiobook9 hours

    Say What You Will

    Written by Cammie McGovern

    Narrated by Rebecca Lowman

    3.5/5

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    About this audiobook

    “A unique and unforgettable love.” —Teen Vogue

    John Green's The Fault in Our Stars meets Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park in this beautifully written, incredibly honest, and emotionally poignant novel.

    Cammie McGovern's insightful young adult debut is a heartfelt and heartbreaking story about how we can all feel lost until we find someone who loves us because of our faults, not in spite of them.

    Born with cerebral palsy, Amy can't walk without a walker, talk without a voice box, or even fully control her facial expressions. Plagued by obsessive-compulsive disorder, Matthew is consumed with repeated thoughts, neurotic rituals, and crippling fear.

    Both in desperate need of someone to help them reach out to the world, Amy and Matthew are more alike than either ever realized.

    When Amy decides to hire student aides to help her in her senior year at Coral Hills High School, these two teens are thrust into each other's lives. As they begin to spend time with each other, what started as a blossoming friendship eventually grows into something neither expected.

    Editor's Note

    At the heart of it…

    A heartwarming look into the lives of two teens with disabilities who become friends, fall in love, and share the same worries, desires, and wits as their more able-bodied peers. For Rainbow Rowell and John Green fans.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHarperCollins
    Release dateJun 3, 2014
    ISBN9780062324993
    Author

    Cammie McGovern

    Cammie McGovern is the author of the adult novels Neighborhood Watch, Eye Contact and The Art of Seeing. She is one of the founders of Whole Children, a resource center that runs after-school classes and programs for children with special needs. She lives in the US but travels to London regularly. Cammie's sister is Elizabeth McGovern, one of the stars of Downton Abbey. For young adults she has written Amy and Matthew and A Step Towards Falling.

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    Reviews for Say What You Will

    3.5/5

    151 ratings20 reviews

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    • 4/5
      This book blew me away. It had been on my “to read” list for a long time, and I even had it on my Overdrive wishlist. I included it in my library science collection development course for a collection about disabilities in young adult fiction, and I’m glad I did. It’s a great book because it reads like an young adult book - there’s friendship, love interests, drama, and college applications. The catch is, it’s about young adults with disabilities. Amy has cerebral palsy and needs peer helpers for her senior year of high school. Matthew signs up for the job at Amy’s request, even though he suffers from OCD. The two come together and… it’s a book that NEEDS to be read!
    • 5/5
      Beautifully writing, kept my attention throughout the whole book, great book.
    • 3/5
      I really liked the characters in this story, but I thought the plot was missing something.
    • 4/5
      I really loved the beginning but it took a very dramatic crappy turn. It's still a good read but not a very happily ever after kinda book.
    • 5/5
      this book was so sweet and kind and amazing . I loved every moment of it
    • 2/5
      Amy can’t walk without a walker, talk without the help of a machine, or control her facial expressions and some of her body moments. Matthew has obsessive compulsive disorder that he can’t admit and controls his life. They are put together when Amy decides she wants to make real friends and convinces her mom to hire student aides to help her during her senior year of high school. Having these student aids allows her to try to make friends for the first time, but she soon realizes that she wants to be more than just friends with Matthew. Both have to put their physical and mental issues aside, learn to communicate, and look past the mistakes they both make when they are trying to figure out who they are and want they want to be.

      For most of the story, the character’s relationships and dealing with their physical and mental problems was interesting to read. Reading about someone with cerebral palsy and what goes on in their head even when they can’t communicate allows readers to understand these kinds of physical difficulties better. Matthew’s OCD was also interesting, but Amy’s tests for how to “fix” Matthew minimizes how difficult OCD can be. Until the last part of the book, the message was that Amy can’t help her issues but Matthew just needed to figure things out. Amy tends to be self-obsessed through much of the book. When Matthew is the only person who tries to help Amy, she decides that she’s going to stop talking to him, insult him, and cheat on him. The book talks about complicated issues, like medication, going to college, having friends that aren’t good for you, controlling parents, drinking, and sex. It tries to tell too many messages at once, leaving readers confused about what the overall message is supposed to be. The ending in particular confuses some of the earlier messages when Amy decides to make choices that seem completely out of character and potentially destructive. In many ways, Say What You Will is a story about two people with huge challenges learning to love each other in spite of those problems, but it also misses the mark in many areas.
    • 4/5
      I’m always a bit wary when a book blurb says that this book is a cross between John Green and Rainbow Rowell. I think- hmm, someone is going to die, but the book boyfriend will win my heart. Nobody died in Say What You Will, yay, and I did fall for Matthew. This is the second book I’ve read this year that had a main character with a disability. I like this one; it was well written and showed Amy as a real person, not a sympathy case, pathetic, or a perfect person, but someone who struggles like all of us. Amy needs a wheel chair and a computer to communicate with people, she’s always had adult helpers but for her senior year she wants to students. She needs friends, real friends, but she doesn’t get everything she thinks she will, just like in real life. I’ll need to sell this one, but I feel like once I put it in the right hands, my work will be done for me.
    • 3/5
      This was a nice story about friendship, first love and overcoming limitations. Matthew and Amy both have serious conditions which challenge them on a daily basis; Matthew struggling with OCD and Amy trapped in a body twisted with cerebral palsy. At times it was heart-breaking reading about them, but I loved how they brought out the best in each other. The first half of the book was fabulous and I really enjoyed watching the relationship between Matthew and Amy develop during their senior year at school. However, the second half, lagged. The romance between them never really developed and I didn't like some of the choices they made. "Say What You Will" was certainly character driven. The plot was fairly basic and there were a number of inconsistencies, especially in regards to Amy. I think a lot of people will love this book but, while I liked it, i can't say I loved it.
    • 5/5
      Amy has cerebral palsy. Matthew has OCD. Due to their conditions both are lonely and pretty much friendless. Matthew applies to be a student helper for Amy and that is where their journey begins. Even though Amy's body is crippled and she can't speak her mind is incredible. Matthew's habits make it hard for him to spend a lot of time with other people and he panics but he learns from Amy. Together they learn about each other and help each other. As their relationship grows they just can't seem to say exactly what they want to say. They spend a great last summer together even though Amy's mom objects since Prom didn't work out so well. When Amy leaves for Stanford in the fall Matthew feels likes he's blown it and will never be in another relationship again. Then a surprise twist hits. FANTASTIC read about teen relationships that are hard enough without the challenges that Matt & Amy face. Loved it!
    • 5/5
      Overall, I really enjoyed this book. I selected it as part of my individual text set on exceptionalities. In this story, Amy, the main character, was born with cerebral palsy. She’s extremely smart and gifted, but wants to have a normal senior year of high school, so she has a buddy program where her peers help give her the high school experience. My favorite part of the story was the overall message, and how they made Amy seem like she was exactly like every other teen, despite her disability. She falls in love, wants people to like her, makes mistakes, and is extremely smart and I love how throughout the book characters begin to see her as a real person rather than just the girl with a disability. I think it sends a great message to readers who may not have much experience working or going to school with people with disabilities. I also enjoyed the love story. Amy and Matthew inevitably end up falling in love, and though it’s a crazy journey, they end up together at the end, which is great for hopeless romantics just like me! Finally, I enjoyed the wide range of characters portrayed throughout the story. Just as there’s a lot of different people in high school, there’s a lot of different characters in the story that give the story that high school component to it and make it believable.I would recommend this novel for high school students because the characters in the story are seniors in high school getting ready to figure out the future. It would definitely be more relatable to students who were in high school and also there is some content in the novel that may not be suitable for younger readers (underage drinking, sex, etc.).
    • 4/5
      Amy has cerebral palsy, and has spent the past 17 years with walkers, voice boxes, and adults. She's gone through school at the same pace as her peers but without friends or socializing. When one of her classmates, Matthew, challenges her cheerful facade, Amy realizes she's missed out on developing true peer relationships. So for their senior year, Amy asks her parents to pay classmates to be her companions instead of her usual adult aids. She begs Matthew to apply, and the two embark on a friendship that addresses Amy's limitations, Matthew's own disorder, and all their secrets, all except the one they really need to share. Both teens struggle with their realities and limitations, and a love soon develops between them. Summary SLJ ReviewA beautifully untidy friendship that blossoms into love with two protagonists who, like the rest of us, have problems. Theirs are visibly bigger: Amy is hemiplegic and mostly non-verbal; Matthew is victim to the Voice in his head who gives him tapping and counting rituals to evade tragedy. But they're still people. Cammie McGovern draws the reader into Amy's and Matthew's worlds via the ordinary ups and downs of high school life: friends, clubs, jobs, prom, getting into college. You have to keep reading to find out how these two are going to navigate the turbulence. Note: a wonderful antidote to THE FAULT IN OUR STARS.8 out of 10 Recommended!
    • 5/5
      A so very honest story of communication and mis-communication and adolescent angst.
    • 2/5
      Let me start off by saying I had such high hopes for this book. Even though I had no idea what it was about I was just drawn to it. It may have been that fact that it was said to be in the rankings with John Green's "The Fault in our Stars", or maybe it was the cover alone that caught my attention. Either way when I finally got my hands on it I felt like it was a complete let down. You may have noticed that this is a 2 star review which I HATE to write so it will be rather short. "Say What You Will" is about a teenage girl who was born with cerebral palsy, were it not for her computer voice box, Amy would be unable to communicate with the world around her. Matthew's OCD is taking over his life. Although he won't admit it. Hell he won't even admit he has OCD. The constant hand washing, counting and checking and double checking things is getting worse by the day. When Matthew and Amy's lives collide they find that they have more in common then either one of them realized and perhaps saving themselves starts with saving each other. Hate is a strong word... But I really, really, really didn't like this book. I wanted to so badly and at the end of each chapter I would think to myself "The next one will be better." but by the time I was two thirds done with it I knew that wasn't going to happen for me. I can't explain exactly what it was that I disliked so much, it was a mixture of things. The characters while I'm sure weren't meant to come off as whiny and annoying just grated on my every nerve. I wasn't a fan of the plot, or the lack there of, and I found myself skim reading bits of it and yet never missing anything important. It was a very slow read and I had to force myself to finish it because I hate DNF no matter how awful the book. This book was definitely one of my least favorites that I've read to date and I will probably not be reading anything else by this author. I do want to mention that although it was not my cup of tea you might find that you love it and think me crazy for writing this. Decide for yourself. This is just one persons opinion. Until next time, Ginger
    • 4/5
      Amy has cerebral palsy. She can't walk without a walker, can't speak in a way that people can understand, and struggles to feed herself without making an embarrassing mess. Despite appearances Amy is smart, has a knack for writing, and an optimism about her life that verges on the unbelievable. Matthew has had classes with Amy since they were kids and one day he blurts out the truth, as he sees it, that Amy has no friends and the messages she's sending about her life aren't quite true. Amy's encounter with Matthew changes her whole perspective and she decides that in order to be ready for college, it's time for her to make friends her own age, so for her senior year, her parents hire a flock of student aides to help her at school. Matthew's hired to help Amy, but he's dealing with a disability of his own. As the unlikely pair becomes friends, Amy realizes that she can help Matthew, too, and they both realize that they might want to be more than just friends.Say What You Will is a quick read with a pair of different, interesting, and lovable characters. For the first half of the book I was enchanted by Amy and Matthew's budding friendship and their slow realization that maybe they could have something more regardless of their respective disabilities. Each challenges and helps the other to step outside of a life defined by disability, and it was touching to see them discover that when you love somebody, they become beautiful to you despite and sometimes even because of the failings of their bodies. I felt like I saw where McGovern was headed with her story and liked it, but then came the prom and the whole thing just started coming off the rails for me. What started out as a pleasing slow steady climb of a story quickly took a sudden turn down a roller coaster hill. After a build-up, prom is come and gone within only a chapter bringing with it all kinds of plot points that could have been dug into, but were instead quickly glossed over. Characters started acting, well, out of a character, and what should have been a major plot event zipped by quickly, without the attention it seemed the warrant. And then, wow. Then there's a plot twist that really came out of left field, and left me feeling pretty disappointed. It's as if, instead of letting the book follow the good and natural progression that she'd started, the author decided that something major had to happen to keep readers turning pages, and that something turned a sweet romance on its head and sent it tumbling into after-school special territory. I wanted to love this book, and the beginning showed all the potential I'd hoped for, but the unnecessary theatrics caused me to disengage from the characters just enough that by the time the payoff came that I'd been waiting for through the whole book, there was no way it could deliver.
    • 5/5
      You know how every year there's that one contemporary YA that no one will shut up about and sometimes you've already read it and you're like "Hell yeah, I read that, high fives!" and sometimes you haven't and you're like, "Damn, I'd better go get that book. Last year it was ELEANOR AND PARK by Rainbow Rowell. This year, so far as I can tell, it's SAY WHAT YOU WILL by Cammie McGovern.Here are some things that I love about SAY WHAT YOU WILL:1. The voice. Especially since it's partially narrated by a character who is perceived as not having a voice, as she is a nonverbal teen with pretty severe cerebral palsy.2. The respectful and truthful depictions of two disabilities: cerebral palsy and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).3. The fact that two people with the above disorders have a romantic connection. And their feelings for each other are authentic and real and are outside of what disability means and have everything to do with what being a human teenager means.4. The fact that the above-mentioned people are whole people, are funny and sad and strange and full of personality. The illnesses are not the characters. The people are.5. The writing. THE WRITING! Cammie McGovern knows how to grab you by the gut, and she doesn't need a lot of words to do it.6. Everything. So much everything.If you like books like ELEANOR AND PARK, like LOOKING FOR ALASKA (people have been comparing this to THE FAULT IN OUR STARS, but I think the illness theme makes this an easy comparison), like SPEAK -- these books that become iconic because of their lyrical truths, well, you'l just adore SAY WHAT YOU WILL. Go get it and read it so that you can start telling everyone how amazing it is.
    • 4/5
      Amy has been going to school with the same people since she started, but very few people really know her. She has a severe case of cerebral palsy, meaning she can't walk without a walker, speak without a computer, or control her gestures or facial expressions. Adult aides have also helped her in her classes. To make more friends, she decided to employ people her own age in order to prepare for college and become more socialized. Enter Matthew, a sweet boy with obsessive compulsive disorder. He can't go a few hours without counting or tapping things, washing his hands over and over, fear of dirt or germs, and the irrational fear that something he does or doesn't do will inadvertently hurt someone. They become good friends when he works as her aide because he treats her like a real person and doesn't sugarcoat things. Their relationship eventually blossoms into something wholly unexpected.Right off the bat, Say What You Will was a surprise because Amy's cerebral palsy, a central part of the novel, is omitted from the back cover. I'm not sure why this choice was made because I would definitely been more excited to read it had they included this aspect in the description. Her disability is severe and described accurately without glossing over things. There is no way for her to communicate without outward help: she can't speak or control her gestures or facial expressions. Despite her appearance and her nonverbal state, Amy is very intelligent and excels in school. She has never had any friends her own age, so she's very naive and doesn't know how to deal with people well. Her relationship with Matthew has a lot of extreme highs and lows due to miscommunication and the fact that neither of them has had a very close friend. He's the first person who isn't afraid to tell her the truth and refuses to treat her differently. I loved Amy for her honesty. She told things like they were and held realistic views. The lows she experienced were devastating because it's her first time experiencing rejection or being used or anything involving friends or boyfriends. Her depression and loneliness were written incredibly well and Matthew was also a compelling and fully realized character. While he looks like a normal kid, he has debilitating obsessive compulsive disorder that isolates him and takes up much of his time. He's in denial about how severe it is despite the fact that it's very noticeable to everyone around him. Because of it, he avoids people, consumed with the irrational fears and compulsions in his mind. Although his issues are less obvious than Amy's, the effect is the same. They help each other out in a lot of ways and the relationship changes both of them dramatically. Most notably, Amy gives Matthew assignments to confront his OCD and he eventually gets professional help as a result. He is fragile in his own way and like Amy, the bad parts of the relationship are felt more keenly. Although their relationship never quite progresses to a full blown romance, their interactions are very sweet and I felt for them.Although I thoroughly enjoyed the story, some parts of it were bothersome. Amy and Matthew would go months without speaking after a fight at least 3 times during the novel. The same situation repeated and the characters learned nothing from it apparently when they regretted it each time. Amy was very analytical in her approach to things, sometimes too much so. She makes the most insensitive decisions sometimes and it's frustrating. The whole third act of the book is very unexpected and I understand why it's there, but I didn't like it. I felt it was sort of preachy and the narrative didn't go into the issues I felt were necessary involving the subject when teens are the target audience. Say What You Will is a thought provoking novel that deals with disabilities, both those that are easily recognized and those that aren't. It shows that these people are just like any person and they don't deserve to be treated like their fragile or incompetent. I particularly enjoyed the different modes of communication shown: e-mails, instant messages, unsent e-mails, etc. I will definitely keep an eye out for other books by Cammie McGovern.
    • 5/5
      I love the two characters in this book but it is definitely more suited to high school so my middle school readers will have to wait to read it. I love how gutsy and honest Amy is, and how insecure and messed up Matthew is... totally believable characters. She has cerebral palsy, described with drooling and no smiling or speaking, and Matthew has OCD, complete with his initial denial of any problem. The last third of the book has a very mature surprise and that's the part that made me decide the book was best for high school students but also the part that made me really feel like the characters were real.
    • 4/5
      Quite the page-turner for me! 4.5 stars...This book is something like a coming-of-age novel about two mis-fits who are lonely and desperately need a friend. It follows Amy and Matthew in their junior year of high school and into college. Amy has cerebral palsy and Matthew has severe OCD. Amy is the girl in school who suffers with a disability where she cannot control her muscles, she drools from time to time and can only talk out of a computerized voice box. This makes her an easy outcast and people have yet to try to get to know her. She has used adult aids her whole life and this has made it impossible for her to make friends.Matthew suffers from a severe form of OCD. He has to tap lockers as he passes them, walk on only certain colored tiles, wash his hands up to the elbows several times a day and check sinks to make sure they are turned off…or else something really bad could happen. He's rattled with illogical worries and thinks that in some way he could hurt someone or worse if he doesn't listen to the nagging voice in his head forcing him to do these ticks. Amy is very smart and an over-achiever, thanks to her mom who seems to continue wanting to prove to the world that her daughter who had been told her limits from birth, can do anything and is more intelligent than most kids. Amy writes an essay about how lucky she is for her life and how she has it better than most kids and Matthew calls BS. He calls her out and tells her she's lying. This floors Amy in such a great way. She's used to being lied to, to be told only the positives of her situation and to have Matthew be so honest with her, it's intoxicating. She tells her mom she no longer wants adult aides who don't talk to her and repel other teenagers away, she wants student peers to be her aides and she wants to make friends in her senior year. But Matthew must be one of them. She personally requests him. He's terrified. Anything that's not in Matthews plan scares him. He tends to not participate in most things because of his fears that hold him back but for whatever reason he is drawn to helping Amy. It turns out Amy helps him a lot more than he could ever help her and a mutual love for each other develops. They begin an easy friendship and Amy starts to help him with his OCD and sets up assignments for him to get over his fears. He gets a job as Amy requested and he learns how much it helps him get out of his head. The last third of the book shocked me. I knew it was a possibility but I could of never imagined a YA book would go there, it did and I thought it was such raw honesty and it was beautiful. I wish there was more to the ending. I really would like to find out more of how things worked out for them but all in all this was a great read and I read it in one day.
    • 4/5
      It's a huge deal to compare a book to THE FAULT IN OUR STARS and ELEANOR AND PARK. Not only are those two of the biggest contemporary YA titles ever, but they happen to be my two all time favorites. To say I was skeptical starting SAY WHAT YOU WILL is putting it mildly.But, the comparison--to both titles--is a good one.There are similarities in both characters and story, as well as writing style. That's not to say that SAY WHAT YOU WILL is better than the books it's being compared to (it's not), but it is a good book that fans of TFIOS and E&P should embrace.As for the book itself, well, if I'm being honest, it made me uncomfortable a lot of the time. Like Green's Hazel and Gus, Amy and Matthew have physical circumstances that are often heartbreaking to read about. Amy's CP is not sugar coated or minimized, nor is Matthew's crippling OCD downplayed. Amy can't talk without a computer, she drools and can't close her mouth or smile. She makes uncontrolled sounds and movements. She uses a walker but needs help dressing and eating. Matthews issues aren't the same as Amy's, but they isolate him nearly as much. He has debilitating panic attacks, compulsions that cause him to wash his hands a dozen times a day, walk on his toes, count the vowels in words, or only touch certain colors. It can be a lot to process as a reader, but McGovern handles the challenges really well. This is a book about harsh realities, but it's not--for the most part--a depressing book.I felt strongly for Amy and Matthew and rooted for their happiness throughout. Amy's situation, in particular, was a roller coaster up sweet highs and then crushing despair as various events transpired. What helped me as a reader, was Amy herself. She's not a depressed person. She's brilliant and gutsy and naive in many ways that she recognizes.Going back to the TFIOS and E&P comparisons, there is one aspect of SAY WHAT YOU WILL that for me failed to live up to it's counterparts, and it was the romance. Not because of their physical/mental circumstances, but because of the characters. I remember feeling like a piece of my soul would die if Hazel and Gus, and Eleanor and Park didn't get together. I didn't feel that way about Amy and Matthew. The last third especially failed to create that needed pull at my heart. I felt very strongly that they should be the best of friends, but that they both would be better off with other people.I did really like SAY WHAT YOU WILL as soon as I finished it. The more time that passed, however, my affection dimmed somewhat, maybe because the romance didn't steal my heart the way I hoped, or that there were somethings about Amy's CP that seemed inconsistent (she needed help at school and with the bathroom, but she was left home alone all day during the summer. She and Matthew go swimming one day, but there is no one to help her get in or out of a swimsuit etc. are we supposed to believe he did?). For me, this is a 3 1/2 star read. Good, but not great. Moving but not unforgettable. I'll be interested in trying more books from McGovern to see if she can fully join the ranks of Green and Rowell in the future.
    • 3/5
      I really don't know what to say about this one...Part Green-esque, part Rules>, I alternated between reading hungrily and giving up on it.