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Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
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Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
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Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
Audiobook8 hours

Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

3.5/5

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Currently unavailable

About this audiobook

At the end of her bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. (Both were survivors of previous horrific divorces. Enough said.) But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government, which-after unexpectedly detaining Felipe at an American border crossing-gave the couple a choice: they could either get married, or Felipe would never be allowed to enter the country again. Having been effectively sentenced to wed, Gilbert tackled her fears of marriage by delving into this topic completely, trying with all her might to discover through historical research, interviews, and much personal reflection what this stubbornly enduring old institution actually is. Told with Gilbert's trademark wit, intelligence and compassion, Committed attempts to "turn on all the lights" when it comes to matrimony, frankly examining questions of compatibility, infatuation, fidelity, family tradition, social expectations, divorce risks and humbling responsibilities. Gilbert's memoir is ultimately a clear-eyed celebration of love with all the complexity and consequence that real love, in the real world, actually entails.
LanguageEnglish
Release dateJan 5, 2010
ISBN9781101154465
Unavailable
Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

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Reviews for Committed

Rating: 3.532986222222222 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

576 ratings57 reviews

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    A fantastic insight into marriage, it's traditions, history and evolution
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    What happens when a couple deadset against marriage are faced with exactly that? When homeland security detains and "deports" her lover, Elizabeth Gilbert must make peace with marriage. She does so through study, contemplation and, of course, travel. The author of Eat, Pray, Love gives us the second chapter.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really loved Eat, Pray, Love. Not exclusively because of the content, but because of the voice resonating throughout the pages. I loved the way Ms. Gilbert told her tale. I felt as if I could relate to her. I was very excited to pick up Committed. I initially thought it was a sequel to Eat, Pray, Love and when I discovered it was not I quickly got over my disappointment.

    I feel like I am in the perfect stage in life to read this book as I too am moving forward in life and am getting married myself in August. I thought she shared some fascinating information and I enjoyed reading about the evolution of marriage through the ages. Sometimes I too wonder what the point is. Whether or not that paper is necessary. It was nice to find a commonality in that.

    I probably won't read it again, but I think it has made me a better, more informed individual.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Not her best. I see this book an discussion about marriage and not very interesting one.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This book was surprisingly good. Don't read it thinking that you will have all of the answers to the question of "Why Marriage?" Instead it takes a look at marriage from all different angles, including some interesting historical takes on it. Plus, it's pretty fun. So there's that.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I really enjoyed this book ~ I liked reading about her travels and how their relationship blossomed into a "Real Marriage" ... I really enjoyed EAT PRAY LOVE and I would say this was a close 2nd ... I enjoyed the way Elizabeth wrote these books ... Bringing the reader into her own experiences ...
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The memoir of a woman forced into a modern shotgun wedding by the United States Immigration Authority. When her Brazilian sweetheart is refused entrance into the US forever, Elizabeth has to come up with a way to reconcile herself to that dreaded institution: marriage. While she and her exiled boyfriend tool around the Far East, Elizabeth dives into the history of marriage, looking for something that will reassure her enough to pull the trigger on this haphazard engagement.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was an okay book. If I hadn't had interest in the subject matter - getting married after a painful divorce - I would have only given it a three.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I picked up "Committed" because I LOVED "Eat, Pray, Love" and expected this book to be a continuation of the famous bestseller. Well, it is a continuation in a sense that the author picks up where the first book ended. However, "Committed" is more like an entertaining research rather than a memoir or a novel.

    This book was nothing what I expected, but I am glad I got my hands on it. Before reading this book, I was not particularly interested in the subject (marriage, that is). However, Gilbert's witty writing style can make any subject seem entertaining. Not surprisingly, I became interested in matrimony, or at least its theoretical side.

    Do not expect, however, a comprehensive and objective research on matrimony. Due to her unique need to "make peace" with marriage, Gilbert explores the subject from a very unique angle. Yes, "Committed" is full of subjectivity and feminism; however, you do not need to share the author's point of view to enjoy this book. No matter where you stand, this book will likely make you think about marriage in the ways you never thought before (or at least I didn't).

    Overall, "Committed" is a well-written, though-provoking book. However, it is not as light and entertaining as "Eat, Pray, Love" and because of that appeals to a smaller audience.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Great book. The author of Eat, Pray, Love, has written her next chapter--that of making a life with the man she met in that book. Though they have a great committed relationship, they have no intent to marry, and happily hop from one country to another, "living" in the United States, but leaving for extended times because he is not a US citizen. Then he is suddenly no longer allowed to enter the U.S. (not officially deporting him: "We're just refusing him entrance to the United States on the grounds that he's been visiting America too frequently in the last year.") Given this sudden and unexpected turn of events, they decide to marry in order to secure him a more permanent visa. But that cannot happen right away--these things take time. So for the next ten months, they trot the globe, and work with an immigration lawyer. And Gilbert explores how and whether she really can embrace getting married, given her bad feelings about the institution of marriage. (Spoiler alert: She can! And they do, eventually marry.)
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I listened to the author reading this in-depth personal investigation into the institution of marriage in under a day. A compelling personal story elucidates the reasons people have for not wishing to marry or re-marry, and how things have changed over the years. It certainly didn't dissuade my longing to find a husband.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Elizabeth Gilbert is a witty, intelligent and compassionate author who was afraid to marry a second time due to a heart-wrenching divorce from her first husband. Since the only way her Brazilian-born lover, Felipe, could stay in the United States was by marrying her, she spent 10 months researching the history of marriage hoping to make peace with it. She encountered some interesting people and stories along her way to find out as much as possible before marrying Felipe.The author does a nice job of telling us all we would ever need to know regarding the institution of marriage. It's all done in a way that makes this book funny, informative, and interesting. It's well worth reading even if you are already happily married.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I didn't think I'd like this book but I really enjoyed it! At a glance, I figured this would be some boring old tale about two people in love and how they overcame obstacles to be together. It was. But it was so much more...

    The author did a wonderful job at including her own educated insights into marriage. She provided many historical and anthropological references to the institute of marriage. The skeptical side of this story was fascinating and made the personal tale all the more interesting.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Having read Eat, Pray, Love I knew what I was getting -- a conversational, highly personal account of marriage, interspersed with quite a number of insights. This book makes me want to know more about the history of marriage. I feel pretty much the same way about modern marriage as the author does.

    I can see Gilbert is a deep thinker and wide reader. I also wonder if her highly 'readable' style masks that wisdom somewhat.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Say what you will about Elizabeth Gilbert (my only real complaint is that she can sometimes get a little stream of consciousy and rambly), this book had a lot of interesting insights into the weirdness and importance of why we search for and need romantic partnership.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    About 90% of the book was like a dissertation on the institution of marriage. Granted it was the author's self-exploratory and coming to terms with the whole notion of commitment, but it was a rather long and drawn out monologue. Did not enjoy this quite as much as the more introspective 'Eat, Love, Pray.'
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I found Elizabeth Gilbert's Committed primarily to be annoyingly rambling narcissistic insecurity similar in vein to Woody Allen, only not at all funny. While I understand being afraid to jump back into the fire once you've been burned, writing an entire book about it seems a bit over the top. She convincingly writes of a million reasons why she shouldn't get married, and only one reason why she should - immigration laws. For a world traveler she also seemed extremely naive about the fact that Felipe shouldn't be living in the USA on a tourist visa (especially since he was apparently doing business in the USA). Of course that was going to come back and bite them.

    I didn't realize that was the theme of the book. I expected it to be as marketed - a story about different types of marriage in many different cultures.

    The book isn't a total loss. When Ms. Gilbert wrote about her personal experiences with members of other cultures and her own family's experiences I found those bits interesting. When she goes on and on about the writings of other authors I found it boring like reading a text book for a class in which you have no interest.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I highly recommend this book for every married woman or someone wanted to get married or when you ready for a relationship.I think after the author first book,Eat Pray Love, she is fall in love with a man, then they will getting married, during they are waiting for his Visa, there a lot of things happened, give them more responsible to each other. When you read this book, you will know what is real life, not always flower, when bad things happened, how you two to deal with. What is love,and what is relationship about, what is responsibility,what is tolerance for each other,etc,. I really enjoy this book, and I also bought audible book, the author has great voices.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    At the end of her memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert met and fell in love with a man she calls "Felipe" in her books. For a couple of years, she and Felipe cohabitate in different locales around the world. When they want to settle in Philadelphia though, Brazilian-born, Australian citizen Felipe is denied access by the Department of Homeland Security. Despite their wishes to remain single but together (after both having been divorced in the past), they decide they must get married in order to live together in the U.S. Committed is Gilbert’s attempt to wrap her head around the institution of marriage before taking the plunge a second time.Therefore, Gilbert spends a lot of time talking about the history of marriage in different times and places. This is all interspersed with her personal stories, stories of friends family or neighbors, and stories of people she meets while traveling in Asia (waiting for marriage and immigration papers to go through back in the U.S.). These cultural differences stories are fascinating and remind me of my favorite parts of Eat, Pray, Love. She also throws in some research statistics about marriage, which add another layer of interesting facts to the mix. I must admit that the statistics and stories of how much women have to sacrifice (equality, pay, health, jobs, etc.) when they marry is both enlightening and disheartening. It certainly doesn't help this skeptic want to "make peace with marriage" any time soon.With the audio book read by the author as with Eat, Pray, Love, it instantly felt like coming back to an old friend. Once again, she is brutally honest about herself, flaws and all. This adds to the sense of sitting down to an engaging conversation with a friend, rather than reading about someone distant.Overall, I liked this book as much as – if not more – than Gilbert’s best-selling Eat, Pray, Love.

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is a book to be shared which is an indication of how much I enjoyed reading this book. This is a book that made me laugh out loud which is an indication of how much I enjoyed reading this book. I recommend this book to anyone who just wants to know what happens after Eat, Pray, Love. I recommend this book to anyone who is thinking of getting married. I recommend this book to anyone who just doesn’t get the concept of marriage…ummm, did I miss anyone?

    1 person found this helpful

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I had fun reading this book and learned quite a bit about marriage through history and in a couple different cultures. The best part of the book was when the author described what will lead to the most successful/perfect marriage, and she says "Who are these people?!" I need to send her a message because my husband and I pretty much fit the mold she describes from research on enduring marriages.
    Please allow me to indulge myself here by sharing this passage to show you why I got such a kick out of this book.


    ...when I sat down one night in Laos with the Rutgers report and tried to concoct a template for the least possible divorce-prone couple in America, I came up with quite a Frankensteinian duo.
    First, you must find yourself two people of the same race [check], age [check, three months apart], religion [check], cultural background [a little different being from north and south but our parents raised us similarly], and intellectual level [check, we have the same types of intelligence and as far as we can tell probably nearly identical IQs] whose parents had never divorced [check]. Make these two people wait until they are about forty-five years old before you allow them to marry [fail here since I was 23, and he was 22, but we have been together for almost 7 years total now and are just fine. We are both the oldest siblings in our families and have always been very mature and responsible for our age, so we were probably at the maturity level of a 30/40 year old person here.] - without letting them live together first [check], of course. Ensure that they both fervently believe in God [we used to believe in the Christian god when we got married but have now broadened our spirituality together. We made that transition at the same time.] and that they utterly embrace family values [check, family always comes before friends for me. Although I have found more and more friends who feel like family to me due to the internet.], but forbid them to have any children of their own. [HUGE check here, neither of us have ever wanted kids] (Also, the husband must warmly embrace the precepts of feminism.) [check, he does 100%; he was brought up that way just like I was] Make them live in the same town as their families [check, ever since we've been together we've lived within 40 miles of his family, and now we are living in the same house as my family], and see to it that they spend many happy hours bowling and playing cards with their neighbors [fail again, though this does sound fun] - that is, while they're not out there in the world succeeding at the wonderful careers [check, we both have the exact same career and work for the same company] that they each launched on account of their fabulous higher educations [check, we went to the same school and both got Bachelor of Science degree in mathematical related fields (math/physics for him, physics/chemistry for me)]
    Who are these people?

    Me and my husband!! LOL
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Ehhhhhh. I guess I should have known going in to reading this that it would be mediocre, what with the title a skeptic makes peace with marriage . I just didn't realize that it was essentially going to be - we weren't going to get married until the USA made us, and here are all the reasons why everyone's marriage is essentially a sham and doomed to fail, here's some fan service about gay marriage, and while I didn't want to get married, until I was forced into it, I didn't realize how much I would enjoy it again. Wah wah wah. No thanks. 2 stars because I enjoyed some of the research done about other cultures and they way they deal with marriage, but Gilbert's condescending tone was a turnoff.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was great to listen to; Gilbert did a terrific job reading it. The history and ins and outs of marriage throughout history, in various cultures, and what we face in the U.S. SRH
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I never read Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love. Committed was an alright book. I did find myself laughing to myself while listening to the book in the car.The book follows Liz and her new love through how they finally got married. It was interesting and yet boring at times. I felt that Elizabeth was over analyzing everything. Checking to see how and if their marriage had a chance of surviving. The information was interesting yet tiresome of hearing after awhile.I still want to read her first book just not sure when I will get the time to.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I found this book interesting as a patchwork journey through the history of marriage. I would have preferred more specific data regarding marriage and it's history in Western culture. I found her bouncing between her personal narrative and the historical aspects of marriage to be well blended, but disorganized. I felt like I was just following along on her train of thought, like I was moving along on a train with no knowledge of where the destination lie or of what terrain lay ahead of me. As someone who was very skeptical of marriage (before I got married) I enjoyed living within her brain for awhile and finding a kindred spirit. I don't know if I would have enjoyed this book as much if I had not shared her sentiments.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I know that some readers really didn't care for "Eat, Pray, Love", or at least didn't care for the way that, they felt, Elizabeth Gilbert was a bit self-absorbed with herself. However, I for one enjoyed that book. I think she's a good writer & I enjoy her writing style. The same is true of "Committed", her follow-up. In this one she elaborates on how she came to terms with being "okay" with marriage the second time around, this time to Felipe, the man she met in Bali and who we were introduced to in "Eat, Pray, Love." I found Gilbert more down-to-earth in this one, and it's a mix of her tale of being "forced" to marry Felipe (if she wants to live with him together in the U.S.) and her research on the subject of marriage in general. While the marriage facts & statistics were interesting, I did more enjoy her personal stories & anecdotes.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    My gawd. I wish I were the type of person to stop reading a book, because I could have saved myself a couple of hours on this one. I read “Eat, Pray, Love,” and I wasn't a fan of the author's extreme self-centeredness, so I should have steered clear of the second installment... big mistake on my part. “Committed” continues where EPL left off with the "Love" segment. Liz meets Felipe. She falls madly in love with him, but neither one has any interest in marriage due to painful divorces. That is, until immigration issues require them to marry if they intend to live together in America. The author spends the year of turmoil researching the idea of marriage in one of the most self-indulgent, whiny pieces of crap research that I've ever read. The author is needy, condescending, and childish, and her constant refrain is "what do *I* get out of the deal?" Well, last I checked, marriage is a partnership. One that involves giving AND receiving right? She begins many of her rants by stating that she doesn't wish to "insult" so-and-so (her grandmother, for example), but then she goes on to criticize the tough choices that were made based on unconditional love for another (in the grandmother example, she cut up her only beautiful dress to make an outfit for her child… oh the horror! Puhleeze.). Someone really needs to let Elizabeth know that it is impossible to "have it all." In making ANY choice, we essentially give up something else. Such is the case with major career decisions, marriage, whether or not to have children, what to eat for dinner, and on and on. That’s just life. Ugh. I can't handle another second of this woman's annoying, self-imposed drama. No more Elizabeth Gilbert books for me. I feel sorry for Felipe - it looks like he's stuck with her! The only redeeming aspect of this book are the humorous and often heartwarming travel anecdotes, so for those, I’m awarding “Committed” a generous 2 stars.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This book is more a research chronicle of marriage cultures and facts than a story. Yes Felipe her intended it mentioned but the book is more about the author's own struggle with committing to marriage and her pursuit to find what makes and doesn't make relationships work.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a fantastic exploration of the institution of marriage. Although it does talk about Elizabeth's journey with Felipe, it is less personal than Eat, Pray, Love, but nonetheless very interesting. As some one who is also skeptical about marriage, I found the book very intriguing as marriage is explored through various cultural lenses. Liz offers her own personal opinions as well as researched facts. I believe this is a must read!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Elizabeth Gilbert's follow up to Eat, Pray, Love is thoroughly enjoyable! It's a little less personal and a little more focused on the history of marriage and the impact of marriage on different cultures. Her story is woven through her observations and made for an interesting overview of the subject without being preachy or heavy. If you enjoyed Eat, Pray, Love you may be a little disappointed that this volume is not as introspective, if you didn't like Eat, Pray, Love give this one a go as it is not as centered on the author.