The Man of My Dreams: A Novel
Written by Curtis Sittenfeld
Narrated by Susan Denaker
3.5/5
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About this audiobook
In her acclaimed debut novel, Prep, Curtis Sittenfeld created a touchstone with her pitch-perfect portrayal of adolescence. Her prose is as intensely realistic and compelling as ever in The Man of My Dreams, a disarmingly candid and sympathetic novel about the collision of a young woman's fantasies of family and love with the challenges and realities of adult life.
Hannah Gavener is fourteen in the summer of 1991. In the magazines she reads, celebrities plan elaborate weddings; in Hannah's own life, her parents' marriage is crumbling. And somewhere in between these two extremes-just maybe-lie the answers to love's most bewildering questions. But over the next decade and a half, as she moves from Philadelphia to Boston to Albuquerque, Hannah finds that the questions become more rather than less complicated: At what point can you no longer blame your adult failures on your messed-up childhood? Is settling for someone who's not your soul mate an act of maturity or an admission of defeat? And if you move to another state for a guy who might not love you back, are you being plucky-or just pathetic?
None of the relationships in Hannah's life are without complications. There's her father, whose stubbornness Hannah realizes she's unfortunately inherited; her gorgeous cousin, Fig, whose misbehavior alternately intrigues and irritates Hannah; Henry, whom Hannah first falls for in college, while he's dating Fig; and the boyfriends who love her more or less than she deserves, who adore her or break her heart. By the time she's in her late twenties, Hannah has finally figured out what she wants most-but she doesn't yet know whether she'll find the courage to go after it.
Full of honesty and humor, The Man of My Dreams is an unnervingly insightful and beautifully written examination of the outside forces and personal choices that make us who we are.
From the Hardcover edition.
Curtis Sittenfeld
CURTIS SITTENFELD is the New York Times best-selling author of the novels Prep, The Man of My Dreams, American Wife, Sisterland, Eligible, and the forthcoming Rodham, which have been translated into thirty languages. She is also the author of the short story collection You Think It, I'll Say It and her short stories have appeared in The New Yorker, the Washington Post Magazine, Esquire, and The Best American Short Stories. Her nonfiction has been published inthe New York Times, The Atlantic, Time, and Glamour, and broadcast on public radio’s This American Life. A native of Cincinnati, she currently lives with her family in Minneapolis.
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Reviews for The Man of My Dreams
396 ratings29 reviews
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I kept reading this thinking that Hannah was going to change or grow up a bit or be redeemed in some way, but it didn't really happen except that at the end suddenly (with her degree in art history??) she was a selfless teacher in a school for autistic children. The novel consisted of stories of Hannah's emotionally abusive father, then her obsession with her own attractiveness and that of the various boys/men she is interested in, then her relationships with Mike (too nice), Oliver (unfaithful to her with her consent due to being a "sex addict") and Henry (leads her on but is unavailable). Throughout this period she has therapy once week, so goodness knows what her life wold have been like otherwise. Disappointing.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Very disappointing.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I have no idea why I finished this book. It was painful.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I can see why this book isn't as well-received or liked as much as Prep, and while I prefer Prep as well, I still really enjoyed The Man of My Dreams. There is something about Curtis Sittenfeld's writing of flawed characters that resonates with me.
Hannah was overly focused on an ideal romance and what it meant to have and achieve it that she pretty much stunted her development, as well as carrying the baggage that made her feel that way in the first place. It felt very "real" to me the way she went about. While not pretty or satisfying, Hannah and all her flaws, the trappings she fell into and created herself, the lessons she needed to learn and never learned from, made for a story I could enjoy, even if it wasn't tidy or perfect or even complete. - Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I'm not sure what it is I don't like about Sittenfeld's novels. I didn't like Prep all that much, but others seem to enjoy her work, so I thought I'd give The Man of My Dreams a try. It was OK. Quick read. Could be nice on an airplane or as a book to keep in your bag to read while you wait in line or at the doctor's office. It just didn't really grab me. I didn't like really any of the characters, didn't empathize with them. At best, I felt sorry for them. Mostly I just wanted them to stop their whining. As with Prep, the main reaction I had was one of discomfort watching the rather pitiful protagonist make the mistakes that I think we all, to some degree or another, make during our teens and early twenties. I just don't find it enjoyable to revisit that discomfort and lack of self-assurance. And frankly, I don't find the retelling of the personal journey all that interesting.
I also find it entirely unrealistic that the older sister would have left her four-month-old child in San Francisco to travel to Boston to help her sister move. It didn't seem to follow her personality at all and did not endear her to me as a character at all (and I'm fairly certain Allison's willingness to help Hannah was supposed to show what a good sister she was, not cast doubts on her as a mother). - Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I slogged thru it and at times it was entertaining and kept my attention. The last 100 pages were the best. I'm going to read The Prep next, her first book. I read the American Wife and that was wonderful. I hope the Prep is better than The Man of My Dreams.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Chick lit escapism, with an interesting back story
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I loved the author's "Prep" so much I got it in hardcover after reading it in paperback. This will be traded away. I wasn't enthralled with protagonist Hannah's coming of age tale, which seemed to go on and on in its angst.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I usually love Curtis Sittenfeld's novels, but I just couldn't immerse myself in this one as usual. It did not hold my attention and took longer for me to read than American Wife.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Coming-of-age story of Hannah Gavener, who is 14 when the book opens. It is 1991, and Hannah and her sister Allison and their mother have been kicked out of their house in the middle of the night.....by Hannah's father. This is a man with some severe control and rage issues and is, to put it mildly, and a$%hole. At this point begins Hannah's search for the "perfect" man who she can live a completely "normal" life with. Well, we all know what the outcome of that search wil be, but it is interesting watching Hannah go through it and come out on the other side wiser and stronger. Lots of sad and funny and relatable moments in the book. Enjoyable read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5After a slow start in which I I found it difficult to connect to the self-pity of the protagonist and considered abandoning the book, this became a rather engaging study of alienation.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I never read Prep but related to the protagonist of this book in some ways, especially when I think back to college
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Another really good book by Curtis Sittenfeld (think Prep & the first half of American Wife), I picked it up because the main character was the same age as me. We briefly visit her during her adolescent years, and spend more time with her during college years. Hannah is a really interesting person because she is kind of a loner, but only because she is almost tactless in her honesty--which makes her "different'. She's refreshingly unapologetic about her personality, although she does realize she's lonely and does want to fall in love someday. The book follows Hannah along through her adult years and you are rooting for her all the way (at least I was). I great read with lots of really great characters and a good story, as well.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5There's so much that rings true to me in this book, it's kind of awkward. I would say that duirng my teens I was kind of the male equivalent of Hannah in this book. And as such, I've seen my story told a thousand times, my jittering teens lifted up into the air and The Way I Was Treated deemed Unjust. The female version of "not getting any" is not nearly as exploited, which makes this a kind of refreshing read (but don't get fooled by the Swedish publisher's desperate attempt at packaging this as chick lit. It's not). As does the fact that Hannah is not just "16, clumsy and shy", but also a little bit of an annoying bastard. Making her all the more interesting.However, the book is way too episodic to really keep my interest all the way. The indidents chosen seem kind of random, which is slightly annoying even if they often are interesting in themselves. And the concluding postion of "yes, I can live without a man" seems to me at least to kick in an extremely wide open door. A decent read. Ain't no Prep though.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Just like with Prep, I couldn't put this down. Sittenfeld's characters are so real. Hannah's character traits either remind me of someone I know or I possess them myself. I'm reminded of my own socially awkward youth/young adulthood when I read these books (thank goodness it wasn't quite this bad!).
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I enjoyed this book - I thought it was really well written - and like Prep - the main character rings really true with me . There are moments where the situations she finds her self in are almost unbearably uncomfortable... but the author does a really good job of making it all make sense in the context of her personality and prior experiences. I wish I could say that I related less to her than I do - but it's always nice to read about someone who is recognizable.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I don't think I loved this book, but it did fall into a very specific category of books that I could have finished in one sitting. Engaging and fairly realistic. I would recommend it for a light read.
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The follow-up to Prep didn't get very good reviews, so I didn't expect to like it but it too was terrific, though it didn't go as deeply into the many layers of characters' thoughts.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Not as great as Prep - storywise, but the writing was very good.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5An angsty book. I found it very interesting and enjoyed watching the main character grow.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I actually liked this a lot better than Prep. After reading Prep, I felt like "So what?" but I felt this was a much more honest look at love, more importantly unrequited love and the lessons it teaches us.
- Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Being a big fan of Prep, I looked forward to reading this, but it was hugely disappointing. Somehow, Sittenfeld managed to create a character even more depressing than Lee Fiora. At least with Prep, there's a sort of macabre humor to the narration and although most people wouldn't completely identify with Lee, her spot-on observations draw you in. That just isn't the case here. It's basically humorless. I read this in one sitting at an airport, and by the time I got on the plane, I just felt depressed. This is one anti-social heroine too many for a single author.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sittenfeld does a great job of portraying a girl as she grows into her own. I can relate with all the insecurities and bad decisions Hannah has to live through.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5This book is OK. The only way I know to describe it is: not as good as Elissa Schappell's "Use Me" but better than Melissa Bank's "Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing."
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I am not even finished with it but I am a third of the way through and I am enthralled in it. The pages haven't moved this fast for months...such a good read. Unless the author is a total idiot (which I know she's not) the book can't possible go wrong in the last few pages.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Like "Prep," Sittenfeld captures true neurosis in an entertaining read.
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Yet another hugely engaging novel by Curtis Sittenfeld. Her power to depict those complex feelings of insecurity and questions girls and women have about relationships and love, and how those change as we grow up is stunning.The final few chapters of the main character as a young woman in her 20s was less convincing for me compared to the 14-year old & college girl, but this was nonetheless a great read (I finished it in 1 day).
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I enjoyed this every bit as much as American Wife. There is such a calm, steady, captivating voice to Sittenfeld's stories. I have yet to read Prep, but I will. I hope she's working on a new one.
- Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5It started out quite promising, but never really developed as it might. Hannah is the central character and she has a tough time dealing with people and relationships. She says some things that are possible better left unsaid, the little white lie type untruths. To the question "Do you like my new boyfriend" her truthful response might be honest, but it makes for a complicated life.
It starts with her parents separation (not amicable) and her relationship with her father seems to colour her relationships with men. She thinks she had found the man of her dreams by half way, but he's dating her cousin and she seems to be waiting for him to work out that he's the one for her without her making any positive moves. A bit of a parallel between her childhood, where her father had to be accomodated, and her passivity as an adult. She does seem to come round and learn lessons, and ends the book a more rounded personality than at the start, and you can't but help wishing her well.