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    Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake: A Memoir
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    Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake: A Memoir
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    Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake: A Memoir
    Audiobook7 hours

    Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake: A Memoir

    Published by Penguin Random House Audio

    4/5

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    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    In this irresistible memoir, the New York Times bestselling author and winner of the Pulitzer Prize Anna Quindlen writes about looking back and ahead-and celebrating it all-as she considers marriage, girlfriends, our mothers, faith, loss, all the stuff in our closets, and more.

    As she did in her beloved New York Times columns, and in A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Quindlen says for us here what we may wish we could have said ourselves. Using her past, present, and future to explore what matters most to women at different ages, Quindlen talks about:

    Marriage: "A safety net of small white lies can be the bedrock of a successful marriage. You wouldn't believe how cheaply I can do a kitchen renovation."

    Girlfriends: "Ask any woman how she makes it through the day, and she may mention her calendar, her to-do lists, her babysitter. But if you push her on how she really makes it through her day, she will mention her girlfriends. Sometimes I will see a photo of an actress in an unflattering dress or a blouse too young for her or with a heavy-handed makeup job, and I mutter, 'She must not have any girlfriends.' "

    Stuff: "Here's what it comes down to, really: there is now so much stuff in my head, so many years, so many memories, that it's taken the place of primacy away from the things in the bedrooms, on the porch. My doctor says that, contrary to conventional wisdom, she doesn't believe our memories flag because of a drop in estrogen but because of how crowded it is in the drawers of our minds. Between the stuff at work and the stuff at home, the appointments and the news and the gossip and the rest, the past and the present and the plans for the future, the filing cabinets in our heads are not only full, they're overflowing."

    Our bodies: "I've finally recognized my body for what it is: a personality-delivery system, designed expressly to carry my character from place to place, now and in the years to come. It's like a car, and while I like a red convertible or even a Bentley as well as the next person, what I really need are four tires and an engine."

    Parenting: "Being a parent is not transactional. We do not get what we give. It is the ultimate pay-it-forward endeavor: We are good parents not so they will be loving enough to stay with us but so they will be strong enough to leave us."

    From childhood memories to manic motherhood to middle age, Quindlen uses the events of her own life to illuminate our own. Along with the downsides of age, she says, can come wisdom, a perspective on life that makes it satisfying and even joyful. Candid, funny, moving, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake is filled with the sharp insights and revealing observations that have long confirmed Quindlen's status as America's laureate of real life.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPenguin Random House Audio
    Release dateApr 24, 2012
    ISBN9780307989871
    Unavailable
    Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake: A Memoir

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    Reviews for Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake

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    • 5/5
      Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake is writer Anna Quindlen’s musings on life, aging, children, friendships, solitude, growing up and old, and other life events, all of interest to anyone who enjoys reading the thoughts of an intelligent, engaged, and thoughtful woman.Quindlen was a feature writer for the NYT and Newsweek for many years, where she wrote about raising her children, current events, and the world at large. In the introduction, she writes about starting her column and wondering who would care about what she had to say about raising her children. She found out when she began to get letters from readers who of course cared, because her life, as it turned out, was just like a lot of people’s lives. WIth the plus that she was able to very elegantly put feelings into words. My own mom’s refrigerator seemed to always have a column or two of hers posted on it when I’d come home from college in the 80s and later in the 90s. The highlight, proudly posted, was a handwritten note from Anna Quindlen, sent in response to a note my mom had written to her. I wish I could remember what it was about. I was destined to love this memoir and I did. Her writing is like reading a letter from a best friend, the friend that understands you best. You can nod along with her as she speaks the truth of what it’s like to live and love and grow and age. The biggest surprise was reading about her dislike of sitting down to write. I never would have guessed.
    • 4/5
      Anna Quindlin is a Pulitzer Prize winning author who wrote columns for the New York Times and Newsweek. She retired to become a full-time novelist. Three of her books have been turned into movies. Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake is her memoir and focuses not on her professional life, but rather on her personal life. She always pays tribute to those feminist women who fought the earlier legal, ethical and emotional battles so women of the baby boomer generation and those that followed could have a better chance at success in a man's world. She discusses marriage, motherhood, girlfriends, and the physical aspects of getting older with kindness and gentle humor. As a boomer myself I could relate to much of what she said and only wish I could have expressed it so well. I've enjoyed some of her books and enjoyed this memoir. She seems like someone I'd like to have as a friend.
    • 4/5
      I have been a fan of Anna Quindlen since first discovering her in Living Out Loud where she shared her experiences of entering adulthood, marriage, children and just living. This collection of essays celebrates a little bit of a lot of living and does not disappoint.
    • 3/5
      A book that I wasn't thrilled to start yet I finished in just a couple days. It was a thinker book with questions I'd myself like how old would I be if I did not know how old I was? Also what today would you tell your 22 year old self? This book was also a point of discussion with my husband, regarding faith and girlfriends or the lack of either.
    • 4/5
      More serious than Erma Bombeck, Quindlen still hits your funny bone as she recollects and reminisces about life as she reaches her 60th birthday. I will use this to lead a discussion for our book group.
    • 4/5
      I have read almost all of Anna Quindlen's non-fiction and I find her, for the most part, an interesting essay writer. Every once in a while she writes a dud, though I wonder that I think it is not up to her usual excellence because I am a male and do not understand the essay. The book is a collection of essays about women's issues and aging. It is very well written.
    • 5/5
      I loved it. What a delightful read ... sure reflects my life (and in a warm and very human way).
    • 3/5
      A very smooth to read enjoyable book. I would read it again.
    • 4/5
      I don't know why I dragged my feet so reading this book. I think Anna Quindlen is a terrific writer, both in her novelist persona and as a first-rate essayist. This memoir is Quindlen's look back at her first 50 years (more or less), not in a linear way but rather as a series of themed essays. It's probably not accurate to say that she has lived a charmed life; I suspect she has had her share of heartbreak through the years. Nonetheless, from her warm and comfortable childhood to her long-lived marriage to her now-grown children, Quindlen is a woman who knows how to count her blessings. Along the way, she provides some timely and thoughtful commentary on some of the larger issues that have informed her life, including the various ups and downs of the feminist movement, the way contemporary society treats aging women, and the deep friendships that only women seem to form.
    • 5/5
      In this irresistible memoir, the New York Times bestselling author and winner of the Pulitzer Prize Anna Quindlen writes about looking back and ahead - and celebrating it all - as she considers marriage, girlfriends, our mothers, faith, loss, all the stuff in our closets, and more. It was a perfect read during the days before I turned 60.
    • 4/5
      Great book illustrating how Quindlen has dealt with parenting and career. She maneuvers empty nesting and new relationships with her adult children.
    • 2/5
      Not a memoir, a series of essays about her generation. I wish that she would talk less about feminism and more about the more pressing current issue: economic disparity. Her pose as "Everywoman" (it seems that nearly every sentence begins with "we") wears thin when we discover that she has two homes, a personal trainer, gets Botox treatments, took the family to Europe for her daughter's 20th birthday, etc. I used to enjoy her newspaper column when the boys were little, but this doesn't seem like a person with whom I have much in common. No mention at all of charitable contributions, and just a passing reference to volunteer work as something that could keep a woman busy who doesn't have a job, the poor thing. The best parts are where she drops the pronouncements about how "we" feel, and talks about herself: giving up drinking, her mother's death, her controlling nature. I wish she would "drill down" and write an actual memoir.
    • 4/5
      As always Quindlen delivers. It's nice to age along with her.Identify with her or not, but you can't dispute her writing.
    • 5/5
      Vintage Quindlen looking at life from age 60. She emphasizes women and how much they have or have not been "allowed" to live up to their potential. I didn't know that she loves dogs or that she has a house in the country, two things I liked. She made me wonder whether my choice to not have children was the right one. She sounds like a wonderful mother. I also appreciated the partnership of her marriage - a delight to listen to.
    • 5/5
      I am a big Anna Quindlen fan and was delighted to receive this as an early review book. It did not disappoint me. It is well written with humor and sadness and a real challenge to look at what is important in life. Quindlen writes this as she approches the age of 60 and I suspect that some of writings are from her columns. But you don't have to be 60 or older to appreciate her wisdom. In fact reading it at a younger age might help you negotiate some of the pitfalls that a few of us have succumbed to. I found myself nodding in agreement, underlining and writing in the margins. This is a book I will go back to.
    • 5/5
      When I used to get my Newsweek magazine in the mail, I would immediately turn to the back page to see if this was the week for Anna Quindlen's column. She and her husband had children about the same age as our sons, and her politics were very similar to mine. It sometimes seemed that she was writing the same things I was feeling at that same moment.Her fiction books are very emotional, from Oprah Book Club selection Black and Blue to the heartbreaking Every Last One, her most recent one that tore me up. But I was thrilled to see that she had a new non-fiction book, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake, sharing what it's like to be a woman over 50. As I just hit that mark, I couldn't wait to read it.I read it on my Kindle while on the treadmill, and I knew that I would be adding many highlighted passages for review later, and I was right. Quindlen has been a big reader since she was child, just like me, and what she had to say about reading touched a chord with me."That's what's so wonderful about reading, that books and poetry and essays make us feel as though we're connected, as though thoughts and feelings we believe are singular and nutty are sometimes shared by others, that we are all more alike than different."Qunidlen and her husband have three children, and I found her advice to them really hit the mark; she "believes the single most important decision they make is not where they live or what to do for a living, it's who they will marry." She says that "the span of their years will be so marked by the life they build, day by day, in tandem with each other." Twenty-five years of marriage to my wonderful husband bears out her wise words.She writes of her husband,"He is focused, diligent, and funny; I am distractible, perapatic, sometimes overly earnest. He is the first to criticize me privately and the first to defend me publicly. He has my back and he always has. That's not romantic, and it's not lyrical and it's not at all what I expected when I thought I would never want to spend a night without him."She talks about the importance of girlfriends, and the irony of the women's movement teaching us that we can be more than caregivers, and yet today many of us are now caring for not only young children but aging parents as well. Quindlen was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school (as I did), and I found her thoughts on religion intriguing and relevant in today's society.As we age, our health becomes a big topic of concern for us, and Quindlen addresses the changes we all go through. She lost her mother when she was barely out of her teens and that loss colored the rest of her life.Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake is a book that I will return to again and again, just to remind myself that there are others out there who are thinking the same things and walking the same path, and thank goodness Anna Quindlen is there to take us through it.
    • 5/5
      Great book. Lovely to hear a comment on her life and our times. Interesting to see where my personal story fits and then not to worry about it. My only comment is aging done well depends on so many factors and can go either way - reasonable health, some money, friends, family and a sharp mind are a blessing. Take any of the those things out of the mix and aging is a disaster. Lovely to read about her life and family.
    • 5/5
      This book won't be out until next month but I couldn't wait to tell you about it. I imagine it can be preordered now.I remember very well when we lived in New Jersey years ago I loved Anna Quindlen's columns in the New York Times. She wrote about her life raising three children, being a wife and a writer, and trying desperately to keep up with everything. Even though I didn't have children, I did have a busy life. I identified with her, but mainly I appreciated her writing style. She wrote down-to-earth yet beautifully crafted columns. I don't know why I have never read any of her books, and there are many, but suppose it goes back to the busyness of my life in the intervening years.Now I'm retired and reading more than I ever have so I was thrilled to receive this book from Random House to read and review. I hope they won't mind my jumping the publication date a little.Quindlen has turned 60! That really makes me feel old, but thankfully it doesn't seem to bother her at all. The point of this memoir and her take on women's lives today is to look back from her current mature viewpoint on her life and her previous writing. Her children of course are grown and busy with their own lives. She has been through the death of her mother, such a traumatic experience for all of us. She and her husband have settled into the empty nest to lead a quieter life with gratitude for their relationship and shared joys and sorrows. She writes about friends, marriage, being a mother, her career, family traditions, her faith, and her own mortality. I appreciated the insights from this woman who thinks deeply about life, and death. Once again I could identify with her and see in her maturing my own.Anna Quindlen is a writer well worth reading. Yesterday at book "club" (for lack of a better word), some of the women said they hadn't liked a recent novel of hers, but I encouraged them to read this one. In Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake she has gone back to the Anna Quindlen we all loved many years ago. I highly recommend this book.
    • 5/5
      Reading this book is like having a conversation with your most trusted friend. The topics flow from everyday happenings to the meaning of life. Anna Quindlen is equally at home in the past, present, and future as she muses on the randomness of life in such a way that, no matter what one's present circumstances, a sense of acceptance and hope is ever present.Ms. Quindlen has lived long enough (60 years) to know that change is inevitable. Thank goodness she is wise enough to tell us that unpredictability and failure can lead to the "hope that there will be more to learn, to discover, more to change and understand."I'll spare readers of this review the long litany of quote notes I amassed from this relatively slim memoir. My two favorite takeaways were "The future is not a tote bag" and the metaphor about memory becoming a "strange shape shifter." Every woman who is looking in the mirror and seeing her mother should read this book and take away your own favorite parts. I think there will be many! This book would make an excellent birthday present for a special woman in your life...or buy it for yourself...you won't regret it.
    • 4/5
      This is a delightful memoir that had me crying, laughing, reflecting on my own life, and nodding my head along with Quindlen's experiences. I sadly have to admit, this is my first book I've read by Quindlen, but you can bet I will be reading more of her novels. If she can write so eloquently about her own life, I can't imagine how well she can create lives for others.I had so many pages marked up from this book; things I want to remember with my children, quotes I want to write down, perspectives I want to rethink. I usually pass on my books to the local library after I am done reading them, but this one I will be keeping.I think my favorite part of the book was the very beginning where Quindlen talks about the things she would tell her 22-year old self about life. I thought for a bit about that myself. What would I tell my 20 year old self as I am turning 40? What do I wish I had known then? That may be a post for later, but it would definitely include taking risks, savoring relationships, and having hope. My second favorite part of the book includes Quindlen's take on conquering a headstand. How she physically didn't think it was possible, but was determined to build up her strength and finally, flipping her body into a complete headstand. It made me wonder, what is my "headstand"? What am I afraid to accomplish, do, conquer? If you haven't figured out, I truly enjoyed this memoir, even not being familiar with the author. The book will encourage you to reflect on your own life, whether you are 22, 42, 62, 82, or somewhere in between. I guarantee you will leave with life lessons, wisdom and full-blown honesty. If you are looking for a quick, enjoyable read, check out this book.
    • 5/5
      This is about being a woman, past, present and to some extent future. It's what she learned in her life and what she made peace with over the years. Read this book with a pencil or some book darts on hand, because it is full of wonderful quotes. It's realistic yet uplifting, and it makes you wish you were sitting at her kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a chance to ask questions and draw out more stories from this brilliant woman. Given the current political climate, I especially loved hearing about the progression of the women's movement in her lifetime--what she has seen in the past could not be more relevant to this very moment. I think this would be a wonderful book club book--there are so many things in this book that could fire amazing conversations. I'd also argue that it would be a lovely gift for any woman, whether she is graduating college or celebrating her 75th birthday.
    • 4/5
      One again Anna Quindlen brings her wise, thoughtful pen to page. In this memoir, she discusses being a woman, career, family, motherhood, loss, friendship, marriage, religion, all through the lens of her own life, but also capturing some universal themes. Some of the book and themes really resonated with me, as I am a woman no longer young, with grown children. Some of it did not resonate (I'm no longer married, I am partnered with a woman, I do not own two homes, and do not have a highly public and successful writing career). That said, she shares herself openly and genuinely. An engaging read.
    • 3/5
      An author with tremendous insight.
    • 3/5
      This book resonates with me, probably because the author and I are about the same age, and share a lot of common threads. Quindlen's writing is entertaining and still heartfelt. In this book she's reflective and honest, as she approaches her 60's.
    • 3/5
      This memoir by author Anna Quindlen has sweet reminiscences and though-provoking insights, however, I found it a bit dry. A little humor (as in Mennonite in a Black Dress which I also recently read) would have been welcome.
    • 5/5
      Anna Quindlen's latest book is a delight. I love it when insightful people tell me about the phases of life that I'm going through. Her book of essays describes the ambivalence and ambiguity a person feels in late middle age. She looks back on her earlier experiences as someone who's made it through and has thought enough about it that they can impart some wisdom about what they've experienced. So many women have so many "moving parts" to their lives--work, family, marriage, friendships--and Quindlen has done a wonderful job of making sense out of the whole thing, while acknowledging that sometimes it's just a mess that you have to go through. The book is so well written that I found myself going back and re-reading passages and marking them for the future. She is a treasure.
    • 5/5
      Anna Quindlen captures real life experiences in a way that makes me feel like she is writing about my life, while articulating my thoughts so much more clearly than I could myself. In this colllection of essays, she invites us inside her life, sharing the joys and struggles of marriage and family, love and loss. Whether writing about details of everyday life or a pivotal moment like her mother's death, her insights had me alternately nodding in agreement and shedding a tear. Reading Anna Quindlen's essays is like sitting down for a visit with a wise friend. The combination of essays collected in this book fits nicely into a portrait of Quindlen's life. The final chapter is enticingly titled, "To Be Continued. . ." I can only hope so.
    • 4/5
      Anna Quindlen is a very talented writer. These essays are sharp and full of clever observations about life. Readers of Anne Fadiman's essays will find something they like in this book.I enjoyed her essays about home, family life, and human emotions (motherhood, solitude, our possessions, friendship) most of all. I loved the warmth and the good advice. For me, it felt like having a conversation with an older and wiser friend. I did not enjoy the essays regarding feminism and politics quite as much, but that was just a matter of personal taste, and they were still very well written.Recommended if you are an Anna Quindlen fan, or if you enjoy reading books of essays about life.
    • 5/5
      Whenever there is one those getting to know you type emails sent out over the internet there has sometimes been the question of who well known you would most like to have dinner with. I always answer Anna Quindlan. I have long been a fan of her novels,essays and columns. She always seems to be speaking to me as if we were friends which I am sure we would be if we met! She with her amazing talent for words,me with my quick wit and sarcasm.If I could I would give this book ten stars!!That is why I absolutely love and adore her new book,Lots Of Candles,Plenty of Cake. Now that Anna is a bit past the mid-point of life like me she has put together this wonderful memoir filled with razor like insight and also humor.For instance comparing three generations of underwear to the gradual loosening up of sexual mores over the last 50 years. From granny type high rise underwear her mother wore to her bikinis to her daughter's lacy things.! She imagines granddaughters "going commando" and her exasperated daughter using Granny as an excuse not to go that way!When she writes of not letting her kids spend every weekend on various sports fields because she would rather be home reading I say "Anna,I hear you and salute you!" I never did figure out how to listen to books on tape while I sat at tons of soccer and baseball games in all weather.My husband is perplexed to this day that none of our kids let him see college essays. Imagine how hard that was for a writer like her not to do some serious helicoptering but Anna resisted. This in the middle of her chapter on ubermomism,the plague for moms everywhere now........keeping up with other's perceived notions of what kind of mother you are.Here is what she says about being a Catholic although she no longer goes to church:"For me,being Catholic is like Irish or Italian or Caucasian,not faith but an immutable identifying characteristic with which I was born and with which I will die. Many of the faithful would not consider this so; But the church is in the schools I attended,the woman who taught me,the way I dressed and ate and spent my days as a child. The way I buried the older members of my family. It is woven into the fabric of myself."On a chapter on aging she tells her daughter"I'm to old to die young now"..yep! She does write that being old to most of us is wherever you haven't gotten to yet!This book is a keeper for me. I have at least 20 pages folded down to go back and underline.A wonderful book that would make the perfect Mother's Day gift or a gift to any thinking woman you know!
    • 5/5
      I'm a huge fan of Anna Quindlen's work. This was, by far, my favorite of anything I've read by her thus far. That's saying a lot. I felt as though she was talking directly to me, saying things I'd love to say but could never say them this well. This is a book I'll buy for several friends, and recommend to many others.