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Beauty Queens
Beauty Queens
Beauty Queens
Audiobook14 hours

Beauty Queens

Written by Libba Bray

Narrated by Libba Bray

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

()

About this audiobook

Teen beauty queens. A "Lost"-like island. Mysteries and dangers. No access to emall. And the spirit of fierce, feral competition that lives underground in girls, a savage brutality that can only be revealed by a journey into the heart of non-exfoliated darkness. Oh, the horror, the horror! Only funnier. With evening gowns. And a body count.

Editor's Note

Surrealist satire…

A plane of beauty pageant contestants crashes on an island, leading to a hilarious surrealist satire of “Lord of the Flies” that explicitly tackles capitalist corruption and the danger of stereotypes based on race or gender.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateMay 24, 2011
ISBN9780545357739
Beauty Queens
Author

Libba Bray

Libba Bray is the New York Times bestselling author of A Great and Terrible Beauty and Rebel Angels, both of which have appeared on ALA's Best Books for Young Adults list.

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Reviews for Beauty Queens

Rating: 3.925081416449511 out of 5 stars
4/5

1,228 ratings184 reviews

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  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Super silly as expected plus some feminism 101. The author had a good time narrating - one of the villains sounded a lot like Sarah Palin.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    So much fun! Laugh out loud hysterical!
    Teen beauty queens meet LOST.whatever will they do?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    DELIGHTFUL
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Fun concept, fun book. Ready pretty quickly on vacation, really enjoyed all the different personalities shown among the girls. Enough adventure and jokes to keep me entertained throughout, and I liked the ending a lot more than I thought I would.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Entertaining listen!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    The book is very funny and over the top. It was a 3.5 star for me. My only real issue was its length. I really felt it dragged in the middle. I found myself wishing it would hurry up and get rolling towards the conclusion. It is a great social satire though. I think it would have been a 4 to 5 for me if it had been a little shorter and tighter.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Funny, over-the-top YA tale that starts when a plane of teen beauty queens crashes on a tropical island where a shady international corporation is about to organize an arms deal with an evil dictator. Lots of fun as the author bashes the worst of capitalist, narcissistic culture.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Tiptree longlist 2011. Immensely enjoyable, though no discernable SF&F content, except for the spoof James-Bond style "secret volcano layer" type.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    'Beauty Queens' is a wickedly funny satire which features a planeload of Teen Dream beauty pageant contestants who crash on a supposedly deserted island. Together they struggle to survive and perfect their dance routines while facing a long list of perils, including tsunamis, psychedelic plants, Latin American warlords, volcanoes, deadly piranha pits and even pirates (actually the studly cast of 'Captains Bodacious IV: Badder and More Bodaciouser'). As expected, 'Beauty Queens' takes a broad swipe at the formulaic view of femininity offered to the world by the beauty pageant industry, but the main target of author Libba Bray's latest book is really rampant commercialism, and the forces driving it, portrayed in the book as 'The Corporation', a commercial/media/military/industrial conglomerate that not only makes all the products we need but owns the media outlets whose advertising makes us realize that we really do need such products as "new Maxi Pad Pets - the revolutionary new fashion maxi pad that makes you feel like you've got a special friend in your pants". The Corporation bears a striking resemblance to Halliburton, Disney Corporation and General Electric all rolled into one. Bray's depiction of the role of this corporation in society is so on point that it has entered our family lexicon. Any reference on TV to shows we must watch or product we can't live without is greeted by a loud chorus of "BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CORPORTATION!" While the story itself is funny, the footnotes and commercial scripts scattered liberally throughout it are absolutely priceless. Many are about television shows such as "Patriot Daughters: The Corporation's drama chronicling the lives of three teen girls during the Revolutionary War as the fight the British, farm the land, and take off their clothes to secure America's freedom", products like "Stud Muffin Body Spray for Guys: the only body spray for guys made with beer and man sweat and guaranteed to make girls frolic with you in the hot tub," or celebrities too bizarre to be seen in the real world "Ladybird Hope, the most famous Teen Dream who ever lived making her name as a bikini-clad meteorologist, lobbyist, mayor...rumored to be running for president." All of these are, of course, 'brought to you by The Corporation'. Only by reading this book will you find out whether they survive or break a nail (or survive breaking a nail). 'Beauty Queens' is classified as a young adult novel, but it is one of the raciest books of the genre that I have read. As a dad who reads books nightly with his daughters for fifteen years now I have finally had a "No way am I going to read this page to you" moment. Even so, I appreciated the messages presented in the book. More than anything, it stresses the need for each of us to understand who we are and to strive to be ourselves and not what others expect us to be. Readers who get that icky feeling when LGBT issues are discussed might wish to look elsewhere as they do come up occasionally, mostly in the context of the aforementioned self-awareness theme. Even though this book has a definite bias (what satires don't?) I strongly recommend it. We had a lot of fun reading it and I believe we all look at the world around us a little differently because of it. The review copy of this book was obtained from the publisher via the Amazon Vine Program.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Read from June 01 to 06, 2011Super funny...clever...perhaps not for those that lean to the right, unless you also have a good sense of humor. Libba Bray is quickly becoming one if my favorite authors!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I can admit when I'm wrong, but in this case I wasn't totally wrong! But yeah, in the end, the beauty queens won me over.
    Not saying I still didn't have issues with this book. There were times, especially at the beginning when the agenda got in the way of the story. Also some of the ads and footnotes did more of a disservice than a help to building the world. There were times I feel Bray took the ridicule of pop culture too far in making her feminist point. It's one thing to be aware of marketing and corporations' manipulation of sex, gender and beauty, its another to use that to shame others who enjoy those things. It's off putting at times and again didn't serve the story well.
    But yes, I wish I could be stuck on a desert island with Petra, Jennifer, Mary Lou and the cast of Captain Bodacious 4. Pirates. Le sigh.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    While I didn't enjoy this one as much as Going Bovine, I found Bray's venture back into pop culture satire absolutely delightful and I cannot wait for the next one to come out. (No pressure or anything, Libba!)
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was just plain old bizarre but at times ridiculously funny, mean, and spot-on satire. It was great to see how all the girls came around to being their own, finding themselves and having their own distinct individual voices. Although some of their backgrounds seemed to draw a little too much from established stereotypes, I didn't mind so much as I regarded it as another means of satire.
    I loved the portrayal of female (romantic and platonic) relationships in a context without men as well as female-male relationships' dynamics. My inner feminist also enjoyed the constant stabs at modern society with its warped views on femininity and expectations of women and girls, not only through the reflections of the girls on themselves and other girls, but also through the creative use of footnotes and fictitious commercials as narrative means. The plot itself, while of the outrageously crazy, in-your-face nonsensical type (character-based book here!), just added to the story.
    I listened to the audiobook version read by the author herself who did great on the different voices and dialects. Sometimes her sharp pronunciation of some consonants (especiall s and t) was a little distressing, but this will be most likely only be me since I have quite sensible ears.
    I can safely say that this book provided a good couple of hours of light-hearted, over-the-top entertainment and while the ending could have been shortened a little, I neverthless enjoyed the package.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I almost gave up on this 1/3 of the way through, but I am so pleased I stuck with it. A thoroughly entertaining read of a genre (chick-lit/adventure YA) that I wouldn't normally touch. I picked this up because it was BOM at RT book reviews. I do think, though, that the humour the author used didn't transition well for us who are not Americans! I often felt like that person at the party who was always clueless as to what everyone else was laughing about!

    However, this was a great read and I enjoyed getting to meet all these girls' and seeing them grow to believe in themselves.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    My first Libba Bray book. I was laughing my head off for most of the book. Beauty queens crash on an island, there is an evil corportation, and sexy pirates later. A lot of the characters are definitely stereotypes, or at least attempts to play on stereotypes, some of which made me uncomfortable at times (Tiara and Brittani in particular). It did make me want to read more of Libba Bray's books.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I must admit that I seem to have a love-hate relationship with Libba Bray's novels. I loved Going Bovine. It was was original, unusual, and kept me guessing. I loved her characters and I wanted them to succeed. However I had, not exactly feelings of hate for A Terrible Beauty, but more of a feeling of indifference for it. I didnt like it enough to read the rest of the books in the series, which should tell you a lot, since I love books in a series. Beauty Queens, overall, is another miss for me. I thought it had a great premise, but it just went a little too far in its over the top presentation. The story focuses on a group of teen beauty queens whose plane has crashed on a deserted (so they think) island. The girls have to learn how to survive on their own, but they also want to use the opportunity to continue practicing their pageant skills. The girls soon learn that they are not alone on the island. The story is told from the perspective of some of the survivors of the crash, and we get some insight into who these girls really are. Overall, it is a story about finding yourself and becoming more than what is expected of you. However, it is just a little too cheesy at times. It is a satire, but Bray uses every stereotypical character you've ever seen in a book or movie to beat her message into the reader over and over again. Occassionally there were moments when I saw a glimmer of what I expected from the book. It definitely has its moments, and it is laugh out loud funny at times, but it definitely falls short of the quality I saw in Going Bovine. Overall, I would probably describe the book as a cross between The Lord of the Flies, Lost, and Austin Powers. If you read the book, you'll see what I mean.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Some of it is very funny and spot on, some is just roll your eyes. Audiobook version recommended.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    What a weird book... and apparently a weird author, too (if a comment at a recent conference from Laura Anne Gilman means anything), but hey... I like that. This is Lord of the Flies meets America's Next Top Model meets LOST -- an airplane full of pageant competitors crashes on a "deserted" island in the middle of nowhere, and has to struggle for survival by learning about themselves, what's important, and whether they can manage without their favorite hair products. Naturally, there's more to the island (and the pageant they were headed to!) than meets the eye.There are, surprisingly, some rather deep life lessons in this book about finding one's self, being true to one's self, compromise, friendship, and image. It was funny but not hysterical, and wholly entertaining the whole way through. Yes, it's bizarre -- and the writing style takes a few pages to get used to -- but a fun, touching and worthwhile read overall.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a very funny book!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Remember: We are Miss Teen Dreamers. We are not victims We are not cowards. We are bright shining stars, beacons of hope to all who arrive on the shores of our beauty. Page 94Fifty contestants of the Miss Teen Dreamers Pageant crash land on a deserted island and find that amidst the busyness of surviving they must also be diligent in practicing their dance routines and maintaining the beauty standards. The Corporation should be coming to save them any minute now and a Miss Teen Dreamer is everything but unprepared for life's unexpected surprises. While building fashionable huts, constructing a desalination tank out of sequinned evening gowns, and weaving jewelled SOS banners, these pageant queens also uncover a conspiracy on the island that threatens to jeopardize their rescue mission and undermines everything sparkly that gives their life meaning.Beauty Queens is first and foremost a satirical look at the crazy world of perfection that women live in, breathe in, play in and ultimately compete in. The notions of female beauty, the boundaries of feminism are all dealt with in an irreverent and mocking manner. There were some smirkable and other times just flat out funny moments. A social commentary on our constant need to perpetuate the rat race that is consumerism, Libba Bray walks a fine line of sending a serious message masquerading in a ludicrous story filled with even more ridiculous characters, bodacious pirates included. The story revolves around each of the girl's perspective with their individual profiles and the intermittent commercial advertisement, as if you were watching a TV reality show, only in text form. In the spirit and heart of a true Miss Team Dream, perhaps the only way to find oneself is to get lost in a deserted island, but remember to always remember your sparkle. A silly story that I couldn't really take seriously and perhaps that was the intention, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    very good, a bunch of girls who are entered into the Miss USA Pageant get stranded on a desert island. Except its not deserted. A former winner wants to become president and has entered into a pact with a middle eastern dictator (of a fake country) to shoot down the plane, and destroy the girls so that the former pageant winner can lead the charge against him and so win over the public and become president (Lady Bird Hope (a dead ringer for Sarah Palin or Michele Bachman) I think is the name of the winner). However, some of the girls survive, though not are all well-represented, create a community and realize that they are larger than the ideals of beauty they have tried to fit into in order to win the pageant. the main character only joined because her mom made her and she wants to win so that she can use it as a platform to tear down the ideals that the pageant is trying to instill in young girls. She wants to be a journalist. It's a satire that tears down the idea of beauty that has been perpetuated by the commercialization of America and girlhood. It has different chapters told by different girls, or follows them around (told in the third person I think) and the transitions are the applications, or commercials from the "sponsors" which are satires of the products. It's a bit like Lord of the Flies in that people's true natures are revealed - and the girls are not as nice as they pretend to be on TV. There is also a satire of reality tv in that there is a floating ship full of hot boys that floats to the island and "rescues" the girls. The girl that wants to be journalist gets taken in by one of the boys, who tapes it when he takes her virginity, which is very true to stereotypical teenage boy. And there is one girl, Miss Texas, who is so devoted to the Beauty Queen ideal and becoming the next Miss USA that she goes "off the reservation" while on the island, and isn't rescued - to show the damage that can be inflicted by such single-minded devotion to beauty.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    the potential for this book was enormous. It is quirky and moves along, yet for some reason it fell flat, it was just too predictable. TMI on the romantic scenes.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Libba Bray is great, and this book was a lot of fun. I think it's useful to get young girls thinking about what all is expected of them. I laughed a lot, but I had a hard time getting emotionally involved with the girls, possibly because of all the absurd...which I liked, but could have just read a short story of to get the point. Would have loved to read it as a teen, and really enjoyed it this weekend.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    OMG! The plane carrying the contestants for the Miss Teen Dream pageant has crashed on a deserted island! Of course, the girls need to survive but more importantly, how will they keep their hair looking great? This is not just the story of some stranded girls waiting to be rescued. No, this is also the story of girls learning to find food and shelter, exploring the island and even finding themselves. It is also the story of a greedy mega-corporation, a former beauty queen dreaming of the presidency, a boat full of bodacious pirates, an insane dictator, a secret lair inside a volcano, a stuffed lemur, reality television, psychedelic berries, boy bands, hideous plots and schemes, how to make weapons out of hair care products and above all, the true meaning of beauty.Libba Bray (author of Going bovine) is in fine satirical form in this novel, which manages to make scathing social commentary while also being delightfully wacky. All the stereotypes are there, and twisted and turned until they are something new. These girls are not just interchangable pretty faces as they might appear at first. So put on your lip gloss and get ready to join the Miss Teen Dreamers for the craziest adventure a beauty queen ever had!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was an amazing, empowering story. I wasn't as attached to it as I had been to all the books I read over the summer only because of school. I definitely found myself reading it when I was supposed to be in lecture smh. I loved how every character had a voice and had something different going on with them. I also loved how they had commercial breaks every so often. It was too funny. It dealt with many of the issues that girls face nowadays and was still light-hearted and funny. I really do appreciate Bray giving light to some of these issues; like the fact that they all felt like they had to be Barbie doll perfect. I loved that one girl was rough around the edges. I think I enjoyed her most because she seemed most like me... Well as in they don't all need to be blonde, with big breast, small bodies, and tiny clothes..... If you haven't read it, I suggest you do it NOW!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Summary: When the plane carrying the fifty contestants in the Miss Teen Dream Pageant crashes into a remote tropical island, the outlook for the survivors is pretty grim. Sure, struggling for survival on the beach will give the girls the opportunity to work on their tan, but the sweat makes their mascara run, and there's no place to plug in a blowdryer. While some girls are convinced that the pageant's sponsors, the Corporation, will be sending a rescue party shortly, and that they should therefore continue practicing their dance numbers and Q&A, other girls see the need for more practical measures. But can a group of girls who are used to being judged by what's on the outside manage to parlay their talents into survival? Can these former competitors learn to work together not only to stay alive, but also to uncover the dark secrets hidden in the heart of the island?Review: For the first hundred pages of this book, I wasn't entirely sold. I liked the premise - Lost if Oceanic 815 was populated entirely with teenage pageant girls - but Bray's humor wasn't sitting particularly well with me. I was surprised, since I thought Going Bovine was hilarious, but in this case, the jokes just felt too on the nose to be really funny. Satire works best when it's pointing up something that should have been obvious but wasn't, but in Beauty Queens's case (particularly in the beginning), the jokes were centered on things that are already obvious - the corporate vacuousness of reality TV programming, the impossible body image of Barbie dolls, etc. - and therefore fell pretty flat.Luckily, although the trying-too-hard humor never entirely went away, it did eventually fade to the background as the characters and the story took over. The book is really an ensemble piece, with most of the surviving girls getting a few chapters of POV, and it's really impressive to watch each girl grow from her initial archetype (life-long Texas pageant girl, snarky reporter who's only there to prove a point, ethnic minority, ditz, tomboy, etc.) into a whole person. Bray handles each girl's reasons for being there, and her subsequent growth, with empathy and grace, and deals with some sensitive and serious issues with aplomb. She also never lets herself get bogged down by the more serious aspects of the story - they're there, but they're always wrapped up in a zany adventure farce. As demonstrated by Going Bovine, Bray can write zany really, really well, and while I did like the character bits in the middle third of the book more than the action-adventure of the last third, I was having enough fun to go along for the ride.This is absolutely a book with a Message, and while that has a big potential to annoy, I think Beauty Queens is saved by the fact that it is a really, really important message, and not one that I've seen much of in contemporary YA lit. This book's presented image, of girls freed from societal constraints becoming who they are, and who they want to be; of girls learning that liking guys does not mean that you need a guy to rescue you, is a potent one. It's also a very refreshing break from the Twilights and Hush, Hushs and all the rash of other YA books that involve a girl falling for her abuser or subsuming her desires and her personality to achieve the ultimate goal in life of getting a man. But even though there is a message, and that message is not always entirely subtle, the tone of the book is never lecturing, or even entirely serious. I mean, feminism, yay!, but also: Miss New Mexico spends the entire book with a seat-back tray table embedded in her forehead. How can you not go for a book that's got both? 4 out of 5 stars.Recommendation: The humor occasionally tries too hard, but it's a fun, fast read with a solid emotional core underneath. Definitely recommended for anyone who is, used to be, or is in contact with a teen girl.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Libba Bray is one of the craziest, off-the-wall writers I've ever experienced. And reading her books is just that - an experience. Bray's novels are always entertaining, but BEAUTY QUEENS took things to whole new level. No subject is spared by Bray in the satirical BEAUTY QUEENS... thank goodness. This biting satire calls out the ridiculousness of pop culture, the backwards and shady nature of big corporations, and confronts the idea of beauty and what it means to be a woman.BEAUTY QUEENS is girl power... not in a cutesy, yay-I'm-a-girl! way, but in a I'm-a-woman-hear-me-roar! way. This book is silly and humorous, but, in the end, it had a serious message. Each of the surviving, stranded beauty queens had something to hide... something that shouldn't have had to be hidden in the first place. There is no checklist for beauty or for being a strong, successful woman and Bray's BEAUTY QUEENS is a testament to that.BEAUTY QUEENS is a novel I'll definitely be loaning out to the women in my life. It's laugh-out-loud funny, a bit romantic, a bit wild, and a whole lot of kickass. Bray doesn't disappoint.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    "Beauty Queens" has been on my wish list for quite awhile now. I loved the "Great and Terrible Beauty" trilogy so Libby Bray's name now catches my eye. I knew from reading the blurb that this book wasn't going to be anything like the trilogy and that was fine. A book that snarks on beauty pageants? Sign me up!I was entertained by this book but I was also annoyed and dismayed by the over the top portrayal of the teen beauty queens. So much so that a quarter of the way through I almost decided not to finish this book. It is a very rare book that is so awful that I can't finish it. In this case I am glad I made the effort to read on. The basic idea is that a plane filled with teenage beauty queen contestants, their handlers, and two pilots crashes on a remote island. They must come together and learn that they are so much more than pretty things. Only about fourteen girls survive the crash. The first scenes after the impact of the crash should have been grisly and heartbreaking. Instead, not one of the girls seems to care about the dead. I mean they take care of the bodies but in a very flip manner. They mourn the loss of their clothes and beauty supplies but that is about it.As time progresses they do come together and build shelters and find a way to eat on the island. They also get to know each other better. The reader is invited into the pasts of each of the girls and none of them seem to be from a normal upbringing. They all have hang ups or hurts in their past. Taylor, the leader, demands that they all still practice their routines and interviews so they can still do their best once they are off the island. Later we learn that her mother abandoned her as a young child. The memories she has of her mom center on the two of them watching pageants together. So yes, I came to like these girls quite a bit when all was said and done.The book goes wrong due to the campiness of it all. Yes, there should be camp and there should be snark but this was just too much. A pirate ship eventually wrecks on the island carrying a bunch of hot teenage (convenient, huh) hunks who really only play pirates on TV. This is quite nice for the girls as it enables some hook ups. Also there is a deeply contrived plot about an evil ruler named MoMo B. ChaCha from the Republic of ChaCha. He walks around dressed like Elvis, including the wig, with a stuffed lemur he carries around and talks with. This is seriously too much.Some other positives: I love that Bray tackles head on homosexual and multi racial beauty queens. I love that not everyone ended up where you thought they would be. I adored the little epilogue at the end. And again, I liked the girls and by the end of the book I was actively rooting for them. I just think this book could have been amazing and could have made the point even more poignant if we could have seen real emotions in the girls. Even shallow girls have emotion! I wavered between and 2 and a 3 rating but since I don't regret reading it I went with a three.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Laugh out loud funny. This book takes Lord of the Flies and turns it on its head! Take teen beauty queens, pirate reality show participants, a maniacal dictator, an evil Corporation, and a pageant organizer with an ulterior motive and you have an island full of entertainment.Half way through the book the teen girls realize that they need to stop competing and start cooperating and this is where their runway persona peel away like sunburned skin and their true personalities shine.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I thought the idea of this book was funny and was really looking forward to it. Unfortunately, I found the main character to be way too obnoxious. Usually attitudes like this are explained throughout the book, but I just couldn't listen any more. I think I got through the first hour or so. Maybe I'll end up finishing it one day when I'm in a really good mood.