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    Holidays on Ice: Stories
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    Holidays on Ice: Stories
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    Holidays on Ice: Stories
    Audiobook (abridged)3 hours

    Holidays on Ice: Stories

    Written by David Sedaris

    Narrated by Ann Magnuson

    4/5

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    Currently unavailable

    Currently unavailable

    About this audiobook

    David Sedaris's beloved holiday collection is new again with six more pieces, including a never before published story. Along with such favorites as the diaries of a Macy's elf and the annals of two very competitive families, are Sedaris's tales of tardy trick-or-treaters ("Us and Them"); the difficulties of explaining the Easter Bunny to the French ("Jesus Shaves"); what to do when you've been locked out in a snowstorm ("Let It Snow"); the puzzling Christmas traditions of other nations ("Six to Eight Black Men"); what Halloween at the medical examiner's looks like ("The Monster Mash"); and a barnyard secret Santa scheme gone awry ("Cow and Turkey").

    No matter what your favorite holiday, you won't want to miss celebrating it with the author who has been called "one of the funniest writers alive" (Economist).
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHachette Audio
    Release dateApr 1, 2006
    ISBN9781594837333
    Unavailable
    Holidays on Ice: Stories
    Author

    David Sedaris

    David Sedaris is the author of the internationally bestselling Barrel Fever, Naked, Holidays on Ice, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, When You Are Engulfed in Flames, and Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk.

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    Reviews for Holidays on Ice

    4/5

    2,226 ratings100 reviews

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    • 5/5
      A holiday tradition.....
    • 4/5
      I listen to this audiobook at least once every holiday season. While I adore several of the stories, a few others have become skipable in my listening. I just really prefer Sedaris's essays to his fiction. But worth it for "Six to Eight Black Men" as well as his classic essay about working as an elf at Macy's.
    • 4/5
      A really funny holiday read!
    • 3/5
      I listened to the audio recording of David Sedaris reading this book. The story about his time at Macy's working as an elf is definitely worth the read and had me laughing quite a bit. While the other stories are entertaining, the Macy's piece was the most memorable for me. Slightly snarky and always tongue in cheek, this is a very amusing holiday collection.
    • 5/5
      a must-read.
    • 4/5
      Funny short anecdotical stories, sometimes hilarious. For Dutch readers there is a particular interesting one concerning an American's view of Sinterklaas, which leads to an absurd and funny interpretation.
    • 5/5
      This book was originally assigned reading for a Creative Non-Fiction class I took as part of a Creative Writing minor in college. We only read a few of the stories, and I always told myself I'd go back and read the whole thing. Now, I finally have. It's been one of those things I've wanted to make a regular Christmas thing for some time, but keep getting sidetracked.Of course, "Santaland Diaries" and "Dinah" are my favorites of the collection, as they are based on real life, however, the rest are just as witty and clever. Sedaris creates these situations where real people are baring their souls for some unknown reason, until you get to the end, and find that the situation is beautifully ludicrous and bizarre. This is especially the case in "Seasons Greetings," "Based Upon a True Story," and "Christmas Means Giving," where the narrators are some of the most fascinating but true-to-life people in the world. Sedaris uses what he's observed of the human condition and added an almost Douglas Adams level absurdity to what the suburban middle class will do in certain situations, especially around the Holidays.Finally, there's "Front Row Center," in which a theater critic takes on the dubious task of reviewing primary school Christmas plays and takes to the job like a seasoned, bitter professional on Broadway. To me, this is the absolute funniest of the pieces, at least as far as traditional humor goes. Here the humor comes from writer Thaddeus Bristol's brutality towards the acting of school children and the lack of skill in their grade school teachers to put together a "professional" production. The other stories rely on the absolute insanity of the situations for the humor, as the narrators take themselves quite seriously throughout.Definitely a fascinating read, and if David Sedaris is your cup of tea (and he won't be for everyone), this one is definitely worth your time.
    • 4/5
      This is a mixed bag.....SantaLand Diaries, which i have heard multiple times on NPR, believe it or not, actually made me laugh out loud when reading, which i did not expect. The Awkward Christmas card piece, while uncomfortable was fairly funny. A few of the 6 pieces were just lacking in my opinion, but reading the Diaries made it all worth it....proceed with caution....
    • 1/5
      No humor in my book, sadistic and overwrought. Pointing out human foibles without any empathy, merely vicious.
    • 4/5
      Another night of the public television fund drive that bounces regular programming, another night with a book. I'm not complaining. Reading is a tremendous joy for me. And, the fact that I am studying for my doctorate means my personal reading time is very limited. Thus, last night was a win-win situation. Public television got to raise much needed funding and I got to have the grand experience of uninterrupted personal reading time. I don't think I could have asked for better bookish company than essayist David Sedaris. His dark, satirical social commentary and autobiographical hijinks got me right into holiday spirits. I'm talking about booze. To survive the holidays it's best to start drinking now and not sober up until January 3rd. Trust me. Go stock up now on wine and books, and settle in under a blanket. Make certain this is one of the books you stock (you'll thank me for the recommendation). I'll send up a flare when it's all clear.
    • 4/5
      Wickedly funny!
    • 4/5
      Twelve short stories led by SantaLand Diaries, my (and untold others') intro to a strange, silly, sarcastic humorist. Having heard Sedaris tell this story a few times, it was no surprise he provided me an internal voice for reading it. When I caught myself speeding through other stories, I reminded myself to hear David speaking and invariably my enjoyment improved. Some of these are on par with SantaLand. Six to Eight Black Men earned above-average chuckles and The Cow and the Turkey was a pleasant departing surprise. A few seemed duds, but might be funnier if heard... or read under different circumstances.Fast readers could finish this book in an hour or so. Pace yourself and think wryly to give it a better chance.
    • 1/5
      Several short stories. My favorite is the SantaLand Diaries,hysterical and brutally honest! Some of the others are downright nasty,creepy anytime of year.Glad I only paid 50 cents for this one. It was worth it tho for Santaland!!!!
    • 4/5
      A great book to re-read at the holidays! And the story "Six to Eight Black Men" cracked me up so bad, I had to put it down for fear of choking! Ahh Sedaris...
    • 5/5
      I love David Sedaris' stories. I love them even more when I get to hear him tell them.
    • 1/5
      Barely tolerable, supposedly humorous, essays regarding the holiday season. If my book club hadn't selected it, I wouldn't have finished it.
    • 3/5
      I must be jonesin' to laugh...requisite New Years therapy.In this collection of fiction and non-fiction shorts, Sedaris has the gifted way of handing you a ball of memories while managing no extra commentary but to plainly say, "This is what happened." Still you can't help but lose your eyebrows in your hairline and laugh hysterically in shock, in kinship, in absurdity....in complete understanding.Any stories that include his family are instant reminders of the reader's own family in all the subtle (or not so subtle) quirks and dysfunction afforded by sharing DNA or last names. David's sister, Amy, is my favorite sibling. Two words: sign language.The fiction shorts in contrast were unapologetic, quirky, darker, sometimes disgusting, and no holding back. In other words, I'll stick to his non-fiction. I *much* prefer his memoirs / essays over his fiction writing.
    • 4/5
      Didn't get through the last story; Based On A True Story, but the rest of them were pretty hilarious. The story about Dinah the Christmas whore was repeated in one of his other books (I forget which one), but it was just as humorous the second time around.
    • 2/5
      Totally weird book. The only funny story was the first one. The others were pretty dark.
    • 2/5
      I really thought I was going to love this book but I didn't at all. I had heard so much about David Sedaris and how funny he was. But I found myself not laughing at this book at all. There were a couple of stories that made me laugh but for the most part I didn't find anything great about this book. The unexpected thing was that I found parts of this book incredibly offensive. And I can usually handle offensive but for some reason not this. This was my first David Sedaris book and since it was such a bad read, I'm not sure if I'll read anymore of his books.
    • 3/5
      While I loved SantaLand and Dinah, the Christmas Whore, not all the rest of the storise were necesssarily for me.
    • 2/5
      Sedaris obviously has quite a following, so I came to this collection with moderately high expectations. Unfortunately I found reading the book only marginally less painful than a root canal. A couple of these ("SantaLand Diaries" and "Dinah, the Christmas Whore") were moderately amusing, but most were solidly in the "painfully unfunny" camp.
    • 2/5
      When I originally read this book a few years ago, I really enjoyed it. I'm a big fan of David Sedaris, in general.

      So when I saw this book at a used book store for a dollar, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to re-read it. I think I would've been better off passing it up instead of tainting the memory of how funny I thought the book was.

      It opens with the story "SantaLand Diaries", which is downright hilarious. Chronicling the life of a Macy's Christmas elf, in all its glittery, spandex filled, barfy, controlling parent, creepy Santa goodness. They would've been better off sticking that story in the middle, as a little pick-me-up in the middle of this bad book. The rest of the stories in the book seem forced.

      Extremely forced. Fake, unenjoyable, cheesy and many other adjectives used to describe low-class writing. With emphasis placed on the story, "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!" And yes, that's how many exclamation points are actually in the title. The story is of a manic suburban housewife writing her yearly newsletter to her extended friends and family. The writing is really bad, the story is absurd [in a not-funny-to-me way] and the amount of exclamations used after every sentence will make your brain jump under a moving train.

      I would recommend that people skip this book so they can continue to love David Sedaris but that they look up 'SantaLand Diaries' and read it on its own.
    • 3/5
      Typical Sedaris -- zany and demented. Some of the stories in this short volume fall flat, but all are good for a chuckle.
    • 3/5
      Eh. One story I really liked, one I really hated, and the rest were OK. Sounds like 3 stars to me.
    • 3/5
      Some funny moments in the book, and an interesting if strange story Sedaris' sister told. Don't like that almost half of it had the same stories as was in his other books.
    • 2/5
      while i've really enjoyed some of sedaris' other books, this one didn't do much for me. it definitely had its funny moments, but overall, i felt like i was just reading it to finish it and kinda hoped for more.
    • 2/5
      This was just not for me. I've read Sedaris' other memoirs and enjoyed his dark humor, but this was just a bunch of recycled stories and some of his fiction attempts. A baby killed in a dryer doesn't really do it for me, no thanks. Boo :(
    • 2/5
      Pains me to say it, but I just didn't like it. I don't know if I didn't like it because it was so NOT like what I am used to from David Sedaris. I couldn't get past the second story. "Santaland Diaries" is fabulous, but I knew that going in. Yeah, I know, not very helpful. But if you are looking for the David Sedaris of Naked and Dress Your Family..., he ain't here.
    • 2/5
      Pains me to say it, but I just didn't like it. I don't know if I didn't like it because it was so NOT like what I am used to from David Sedaris. I couldn't get past the second story. "Santaland Diaries" is fabulous, but I knew that going in. Yeah, I know, not very helpful. But if you are looking for the David Sedaris of Naked and Dress Your Family..., he ain't here.